lol, crashes into a fuel tanker

#Monsterdon

@klu9 @MatthewTitus88 And she’s one of the stronger ones.

#Monsterdon #reptilian #reptilian1999

#monsterdon who did this character better? mime cop from Q, or drunky moped cop from Yongarry?

Damn it! How could we miss?
-the producers of this film

#reptilian1999 #monsterdon

#monsterdon Pretty much rocking 100% collateral damage, everything but the monster. So, aiming.. just don't aim and you'll hit it? ;)

Just stay on his left side; Yongary only shoots fireballs to the right

#Monsterdon

How did you miss! Yonggary was standing still!

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

@gnoll110 lol, I was just thinking of that! The Windy Apple! #Monsterdon

Escalating from shotguns to antitank weapons and ARs, I guess

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

not sure how to explain why, but the 1950s scenes of the original Godzilla destroying a city with fireballs and stomping were executed with a little more... gravitas?

#monsterdon

That's some wide streets between those skyscrapers.

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001

@Lazarou

Every city in the world sued to not be named in this film

#Monsterdon #Reptilian

The Gary starts smashing some buildings, causing the panic and the screaming. One cop tries to shoot Gary, but the bullets they do nothing. A swat team is summoned to shoot it more, but the bullets still do nothing, and then Gary fireballs them then starts fireballing some convenience stores.

#monsterdon

This is ALMOST as *good* as Birdemic Shock and Terror

I’m crying 😭

#monsterdon #reptilian1999

real beast wars vibes on the cgi

#monsterdon

"I've got a frickin' giant lizard running around, that's what!"

#Monsterdon

ACAB but counting that bike cop firing a pea shooter at the kaiju as a "heroic act" #monsterdon #monsterdonbingo

A payphone?

#Monsterdon

Is this an Empire Carpets commercial

#Monsterdon

RIP not even kitbashed Skylab model.

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

So they spent 16.4 million USD on this.

16,400,000

In 90s money. That's about $33 million USD today.

#Monsterdon

"Something just hit the atmosphere."

"Eh, it's just another Starlink. Ignore it."

#Monsterdon

Surprise Skylab model

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

Ad astra per thanks, @cherizilla.

#monsterdon
#Reptilian1999
#Yonggary1999

lol that CD-R is the only copy of the data? #monsterdon

Belated #monsterdon ing

So NSIA... National Space Intelligence Agency?

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

I like how every time someone speaks the film cuts to them… even if they’re only saying a single word and the edit is like 1/8 of a second

More film editing == better???

#monsterdon #reptilian1999

LEVEL FIVE CLASSIFIED

#monsterdon

the army deploys its CGI helicopter fleet to bother Gary, while the jeep just drives away.

we are treated to a low polygon battle scene where the helicopters yeet some missiles at the dinosaur and then get chomped by the dinosaur and explode. it exudes the Playstation Video Game Graphics energy.

eventually the helicopters realize they're in a kaiju movie and have no chance to do anything, so they run away.

#monsterdon

So Yongarry's mission was to destroy eight helicopters and then immediately stop.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🕵️‍♀️⛏️🐊🐢🦎🐍🐉🦕🦖😱
#Yonggary1999

but why did the aliens dematerialize yonggary???

These are some real "demo that came with your 3d-accelerated graphics card" effects

#monsterdon

"Lock your missile targeting"
*fires unguided rocket pod*

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

This feels like a movie that has at-least one adult film star trying to make their break into non-sexual movie roles. #monsterdon

Barely a difference. #monsterdon

Every shot of storm clouds has me thinking that the truth is out there.

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999 #Yonggary1999

Bravo 2 do you see how friggin' cute this movie is

#Monsterdon

the aliens use their lightning beam to teleport the giant CGI dinosaur, whose name is "Gary", in front of the jeep.

the driver disembarks it and wants to shoot the dinosaur, but the doctor stops him because that is dumb.

Holly decides that she would like to smell the dinosaur. it smells like "old", whatever that means.

#monsterdon

Smells like Kaiju Spirit #Monsterdon

Hey have any of you ever seen Jurassic Park

#Monsterdon

ah yes, handgun the monster.

that's...a...plan...

#monsterdon

back in space, the aliens are readying their invasion force, and burbling something about dispatching the dinosaur and recovering some data.

back in the army factory the army has summoned some Beige Suited Soldiers to fight the aliens, somehow.

back in the army jeep, the archaeology team are going to an army base to decode a CD full of hieroglyphics. I guess that's the data? also, the driver makes fun of the real life alien documentaries that were big in the 90s.

#monsterdon

I wonder if any of these people continued on to make a living primarily as an actor? #monsterdon

@diazona

Bruce Willis wannabe?

#Yonggary1999
#Monsterdon

Eyes on the road dickface....

Wait, the monster can transform into a beam of light?!

#Monsterdon

@diazona There has mostly just been very bad dialogue.

#monsterdon #Yonggary1999

You mean his butt? OH, the hole in the ground

#Monsterdon

It's like this was mastered for 5.1 surround audio and then just downmixed by blindly mashing the channels together. The dialogue is unaffected but all the foley is FUBAR FUBAR FUBAR.
#monsterdon

@gblues "The Boom Booms came over on the Mayflower"

#Monsterdon

*Generic US Marine characters

#Monsterdon

Take off every Zig

#Monsterdon

They're having an extremely calm chat around the picnic table giving the circumstances #Monsterdon #Reptilian2001

Dr. Campbell's Condensed Godzilla

#monsterdon

As everyone runs away from the stompy dinosaur, Dr Cambell yells at it screaming "you are my creation! i made you!" but then he gets stomped because the dinosaur doesn't care.

#monsterdon

I told them not to open the ark of the covenant. #monsterdon

I'm pretty sure that the military had metrified by this point

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

I'm not Military in any way but that wasn't a salute

#Monsterdon

Holly and the Doctor go back to the dig site, where a giant dinosaur skeleton has been uncovered and the doctor is like "fuck they freed the dinosaur bones" and the evil Dr Campbell is like "mwahahaha fame and fortune be to me!"

Then the aliens fire their laser at the dinosaur bones, causing explosions, flying workers and also bringing the dinosaur back to life so it can chase people as they run away.

#monsterdon

did they just.... beam him up?

#monsterdon

"teleporters work now, captain"

#monsterdon

these line reads 🤣

#monsterdon

I Can't Believe It's Not Godzilla

#monsterdon

this is glorious

#monsterdon

if you had just quit your job and a strange paleontologist asked if you would help him oppose your former boss and stop a giant dinosaur from destroying the world, would you agree to join his goofy quest?

#monsterdon

Our Yongary comes in Spicy and SyFy Original

#Monsterdon

We then go back to Holly's hotel where the Doctor shows her some science papers to prove that his goofy story about a magic cave and aliens and a dinosaur is indeed not just a goofy story about a magic cave and aliens and a dinosaur but is actually the plot of the universe she is in.

At first she's like "hmm that still sounds goofy but good luck" then he leaves in a hard-boiled manner then she changes her mind and is like "wait let me join your goofy quest!"

#monsterdon

It's really distracting having one person in the movie who can credibly act. It's like having a concert pianist with a bunch of 3rd graders playing bah bah black sheep on recorder.
#monsterdon

“More dead bodies than a Tarantino flick.”

This is 1999. They have no idea.

#Monsterdon

NOW I know what this is shot like!

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace!

#Monsterdon

NOPE THAT'S NOT CARBON DATING

#monsterdon #Yonggary1999

CARBON DATING DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

Adding "I'd love to believe you, but I don't" to my rotation

#Monsterdon

Spiritually I've been here the whole time. Physically I just got here. No one tell me what I missed

#Monsterdon #Yonggary1999

Is Young Gary a sweaty bone digger? Or is that just the kind of movie I'd rather be watching?
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🕵️‍♀️⛏️🐊🐢🦎🐍🐉🦕🦖😱
#Yonggary1999

Seriously why does everyone use Holly's name excessively when talking to Holly?

“This is different. This is apocalyptic.”

Because nothing else has ever been apocalyptic.

#Monsterdon

CHARIOTS OF THE GODS!

Should be a bingo

#Monsterdon

Holly is bored so she goes to a bar and orders coffee and a chicken sandwich. She complains to the barmaid about working around too much testosterone, then the Doctor showed up.

Holly says "I quit the stupid job leave me alone" and the Doctor is like "Campbell must be stopped. I made friends with a shaman and learned about a magic cave and a dinosaur that would one day destroy the world. And also aliens"

Holly is justifiably unimpressed.

#monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie lol now that you mentioned it I can't unhear this

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999 #Yonggary1999

Working with sweaty bone diggers sounds like a good time.

Oh you mean paleontology, no that's not good. #monsterdon

Whoever designed that spaceship to look like 3 coconuts tied to a banana deserves a raise!

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999

This guy does not talk like any archeologist I've ever heard talk.
#Monsterdon

There's no shaman it

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Campbell must be ... canned... ;)

Holly has like four fucking accents. It’s maddening.

#Monsterdon

"In private."

Over by the mechanical bull.

#Monsterdon

IT'S GROWIN FANGS!

(And on top of that we found another body)

#Monsterdon

BAR

#monsterdon

The next Campbell's dig workers are like "bro we lost another guy and the dinosaur bones are coming back together wtf" and Campbell is like "okay leave if u want but you're all 'illegals' so i'll report you if you leave my mad paleontology dig site!" so I guess they stay.

Maybe this is in the USA but the workers are mostly African immigrants who have to put up with a shitty insane boss and also alien dinosaur shenanigans.

#monsterdon

A dinosaur 50x the size of Marc Bolan from T. Rex.

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999 #Yonggary1999

Holly is acting surprisingly rational, and i am already disappointed that she's not getting on a plane and flying off this film.

#monsterdon #Yonggary1999

They made main deuchebag plenty deuch-ey. #monsterdon

Temu Dr Alan Grant

#monsterdon #reptilian1999

While Dr Campbell and Mr Black are drinking in a tent, the former tells the later that Holly left the dig team.

Then the aliens turn on their space flashlight and that causes the dinosaur bones to regrow and also for teeth to fly out and kill two more workers then reassemble in the skeleton.

Black tries to take pictures but Dr Campbell does a press censorship on him again.

#monsterdon

ah, racism. one hackin' racism.

#monsterdon

Uhh, you don’t have to step on the film with your boot, it’s already completely ruined.

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999 #Yonggary1999

Dr Hughes stalking lady coworkers again....that's why he keeps moving around from monster dig to monster dig...

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon we've already had this threatening photo-destroying scene, movie

Professor loves exposing film

#Monsterdon