@floatybirb Bud contributed the service of being named Bud so that the bad guy could start sentences with "Okay Bud, " #monsterdon

@aburka @cherizilla honestly I didn't really recognize anything, there were just generic buildings and bridges the whole time

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999 #Yonggary1999

Well, thanks everyone for the laughts during this #monsterdon feature. You’d hardly find a larger amount of clichéd dialogue and more ridiculous one-liners anywhere else.

#monsterdon you know what? I genuinely thought the guy at the bar who didn't want to talk about his breakup was going to be a love interest for Holly, and the two of them would save the day somehow

Never let it be said this movie is predictable

I was tardy to the party but the was an enjoyable #monsterdon !

@Lazarou "Whoops! All Extras!"

#Monsterdon

"Come on, you little freak!" --said to a man a foot taller than him

#Monsterdon

saluting the Miniature Explosion Team and Breaking Miniature Team as credits roll

#Monsterdon

i think i lost the thread of the plot somewhere in the middle of this movie, it was probably in one of the hundred 0.1s action cuts
#monsterdon

This was the best worst best worst best worst Monsterdon yet. I regret that Young Gary had no spare daemon in active-passive setup.

#Yonggary1999
#monsterdon

Did I miss the part where professor dickbag got his comeuppance? Oh well. #monsterdon

Wow. That was…something.

#Monsterdon

@bk1e I mean, "low polygon count" is literally why Lockheed built it that way (they couldn't calculate the radar cross section of a curved shape)

#Monsterdon

Fun fact: The 'Gary' in "The Far Side"'s Gary Larsen's given-name is short for 'Yonggary'.

#monsterdon
#Reptilian1999
#Yonggary1999

There should be a Yongarry float in the Macys parade.

Right?

I said, RIGHT?

#Monsterdon

And so they fucked off to a deserted island.

Thanks @Taweret for hosting!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon They're really setting them selves up for a sequel here.

Imagine being that optimistic.

"Where are they taking him?"
"To the pound."

Remember folks, don't BUY your YoungGary: ADOPT!

#Monsterdon #Reptilian

They're taking him to Puerto Rico?
#Monsterdon

So the monster was the good guy after all?

I mean, fair. All the men in this movie were awful

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

oh wait the nuclear bomber was still on its way to nuke LA so we have to tell it to cancel its nuclear attack. we get some "tension" as we yell the abort code but there's interference so we don't know if the pilot heard it but then we learn he heard it so LA gets to live another day.

#monsterdon

The aliens are so matter-of-fact about Yonggary turning against them

maybe they don't have emotion on their planet

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999 #Yonggary1999

These aliens are such wimps. They should stick around and destroy everything.

#Monsterdon

Oh boy. They. Uh. They thought they were starting a kaiju franchise w/ this Yonggary, eh? #Monsterdon

Huh well that's an interesting variation on the "stopping the self-destruct timer at 1 second" trope

(Galaxy Quest did it better though)

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999 #Yonggary1999

I don’t see how this goes on for 10 more minutes

#monsterdon #reptilian1999

It turns out the evil Kaiju was really just tentacles all along, and when you eat its tentacles its soul explodes and you can take a nap.

#monsterdon

I hope they can’t reach the pilot. They need to drop the bombs and destroy this movie.

#Monsterdon

The more worried the general gets, the more he looks like Dan Akroyd.

#monsterdon

@ricci It's perfect!
#Monsterdon

"is it over?"

Holly being the perfect audience proxy as usual

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999 #Yonggary1999

Is the inside of that second Kaiju nothing but tendrils?

BOOM

well nothing now...

#Monsterdon

Hoorray Young Gary won the fight!
#Monsterdon

Ooofff, Young Gary with the headshot.

#Monsterdon

@srol and did the aliens also lose faith in their monster and sent another to kill it? young gary does not seem to have been consulted in the matter #monsterdon

@srol uh... from what I can tell they just decided Gary was protecting people and thus was their friend now.

#monsterdon

like I know that at some point they ostensibly said something about why young gary is Good Now but I still don't get it

#monsterdon

Stop reading your horoscope CD-ROM, I'm tired of hearing your interpretation of what "great light" meant. #Monsterdon

"[High-Pitched Screaming]"

me too, movie, me too

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999 #Yonggary1999

#monsterdon Tis a flesh wound!

@ohiofi 50 trex-sized trexes #monsterdon #reptilian1999

https://mastodon.social/@ohiofi/116553578769049685

shout out to the stuffed animal in the army control center. looks like a little dog.

#monsterdon

Young Gary, you're our only hope!

#Monsterdon

I'm pretty sure I've seen these varioius fire attacks thrown around by Dragonknights in ESO. 🤔

C'mon Young Gary now cast Standard of Might, HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO WIN THIS FIGHT IF YOU DON'T THROW YOUR ULT

#monsterdon

expert delivery of the petting zoo line 10/10

#Monsterdon

Yonggary versus Cybor! Let’s gooooooo!

#monsterdon #reptilian1999

SECOND KAIJU!

#Monsterdon

Temu John Lithgow is an alien in disguise calling it

#Monsterdon

The aliens in LASERBLAST were better than these, change my mind.

#monsterdon

F-117 seems like an odd choice of aircraft for this mission… #Monsterdon #Reptilian1999

Cool your jets

#monsterdon #reptilian1999

oh, they activated the Friend/Foe switch. got it.

#monsterdon

the Mysterious Government Agent thinks it's good that the president is nuking LA, because then he thinks that will kill Gary and the spaceship will land and then he will get to fuck the aliens... I mean... uh... meet the aliens.

No idea why he thinks Gary dying will force the spaceship to land.

#monsterdon

what the fuck is happening

#Monsterdon

Oh. NOW the residential areas are being evacuated??

#Monsterdon

The robot marines of the future should bark out generic Marine taunts

O'Neil's doing a Randy Quaid in Independence Day....not a Randy Quaid in real life...

#Monsterdon

he fell 40 stories and he's just fine thank god
#Monsterdon

Yongary: all the fun and excitement of watching your best friend play PS2

#Monsterdon

I like that they keep reminding each other to shoot the diamond. #Monsterdon

Stock footage is go, I repeat, stock footage is go

...I also repeated the stock footage

#Monsterdon

okay, so um, the puny humans shoot at Gary's head because it's missing a forehead thing. and this scares the aliens so they teleport Gary back up and send him back toward the city. and the puny humans at the army factory are like "OMG the forehead thing is a thing, Mysterious Government Agent, what do you know about forehead thing!?" but they have to shake the technobabble words of his lapel but really he doesn't know much.

#monsterdon

@paco Painfully trite tension generator. Probably a nuclear weapon? #Monsterdon

lol, they only use the Stealth Fighter for movies....

#Monsterdon

I have those same shoulderpads, and so does King Koopa. #monsterdon

ack the technobabble what those are real words why do they not make sense in that order???

#monsterdon

We used it to make old Nokias

#Monsterdon

“Compared to THIS GUY… Jurassic Park sucks ass!”

#monsterdon #reptilian1999

But will yonggary flash red when his weak point is hit?

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

Just blowing up all these city residents right in their apartment buildings because the missiles aren't hitting the creature 😬

#Monsterdon

After Gary fucks up LA, the aliens teleport him to a nuclear power plant because somehow destroying a nuclear power plant will "kill every living thing." which seems... incorrect.

to save every living thing, the puny humans send a helicopter to launch their jet pack soldiers, one of which has a giant gatling gun. They zoom around Gary for a little bit shooting guns at him and some of them get lit on fire.

#monsterdon

I feel like jet pack marines should happen before an airstrike.

Also, contrast with the rocket soldiers in Godzilla Final Wars?

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

this is the result of running out of CGI budget for helicopters.

#monsterdon

The idea that these aliens would use a giant lizard to destroy the planet when they have an ion cannon that essentially digitizes said lizard for storage,
uh,
well.

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999

"Compared to this guy, Godzilla …"

Was that line really in this movie? #Monsterdon

why aren't their feet on fire

#monsterdon

"Compared to this guy, Godzilla is a pussy!"

OH THEM'S FIGHTING WORDS!!!!

#Monsterdon #Reptilian

NUCLEAR PLANTS DO NOT WORK LIKE THAT

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

"Now if anybody wants to take a personal day before the mission starts, speak up NOW"

#monsterdon

#monsterdon You request to be removed from the operation? You're already on the way there!

I wish you'd said something sooner.

Oh my god, that guy is not a Ranger.

And this is like the worst portrayal of the military I've ever seen.

Sgt. Bilko was more accurate.

#Monsterdon

An Army Ranger backing out of a mission because he's afraid? I don't think you know how special forces work

I mean *I* don't know how special forces work either but that is ridiculous

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999 #Yonggary1999

The Hellraiser? Don't get my hopes up ⬛

#Monsterdon

Oh, he took off the helmet because he's too tall otherwise. Lol.

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

Holly and the Doctor have translated the hieroglyphics and realized that a piece of space jewelry from the magic cave fits on Gary's forehead. Also humans are supposed to be destroyed by their own intelligence and also some other light thing is supposed to fight Gary.

No mention of how whoever wrote the hieroglyphics millions of years ago would know any of that. I assume it was a divination spell.

#monsterdon

This is the absolute worst inspirational pep talk. It sounds extremely sarcastic.

#Monsterdon

Lewis you cunt

#Monsterdon

you're a trained soldier and you cant handle a little giant monster and alien invasion?

#monsterdon

Oh wait, are these the Jetpack Marines?

#Monsterdon

The Diamond Dogs! Of course!

Bowie, you fiend! 🧑‍🎤

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

@jadebees #monsterdon

That cop gotta be on vacation then. LA doesn't have a river like that.

"Get your T-Forces ready"

Please be trans masc commandoes. Please be trans masc commandoes. #Monsterdon

The Reptilian just ducked those missiles like Neo.

#Monsterdon

"I'm your abbot"?

#Monsterdon

Is this more collateral damage than Godzilla 98?

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

@combatwombat I know and she's at some kind of realtime monitoring console

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I know, but we have our orders - Nuremberg anyone? ;)

@Terencio The cop's shoulder patch said Los Angeles. Other than that this city could be anywhere.

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001

lol, crashes into a fuel tanker

#Monsterdon