so the VHS copy i got was for "promotional use only. not for sale or rental." every 20 minutes or so these words scroll up the screen. really adds to the experience
It's like when Twitter used to crash.
"I'm activating megadrive" #monsterdon #sega
>:|
"And THAT's why you always vote Reptilian!"
Younggary!
#monsterdon Take my kaiju, PLEASE!
Yonggary when he gets tenticled
we're eating good from the schlock trough tonight
#monsterdon getting reports some people didn't enjoy this experience?? Impossible
"Sadly Uncle Gary had too much to drink that afternoon"
the best character were the bus kids who were excited to see a giant dinosaur. the most heroic character was the bus driver who floored it to save them.
the worst characters were the jet pack soldiers; the coolness of their jet packs were no match for the cringe of their dialog.
the most irrelevant character was the photojournalist who didn't really do anything other than show that the act 1 villain was an ass.
i really don't know what to say about this "movie" but thanks everyone for making me laugh! and of course thank you @Taweret for hosting! highlight of my week!
HOLLY: Is it over?
Please be more specific, the battle, the movie, or your career?
REPTILIAN finally ticked off the list. I am not disappointed, but I am a bit confused.
I have questions for the screenwriter in particular.
This really was some of the worst acting I think I've seen on #monsterdon. At times, I couldn't even process what I was seeing enough to joke about it.
#monsterdon Remember back in 1999 when this movie broke through and we all started watching Korean movies?
All they had to do was hire a bunch of white actors we'd never heard of.
So I guess I'm glad I watched half of that?
This is some real CD-Rom FMV acting.
Daemon means diamond is just ... woof. I need ... I need a minute. Can we take a minute?
I don’t care if the critics were down on it. Other than the plot, the script, the acting, the direction, the CGI special effects, the live action, the costumes and set decoration, the on-set catering, and logic holes the size of the Korean DMZ, that was a damn fine movie.
@Louisa the true #Monsterdon dialectic at play this week - that was a terribly bad film experience and also a supremely satisfying film experience
R E P T I L I A N
...I was voting for this each week, but I forgot last week, so...
Don't blame me, I didn't vote for this! 😬
Major Thanks to @Taweret for decoding the hieroglyphs and Tango Yongary to the #Monsterdon jetpack brigade for flying in to the rescue.
If anyone needs me I'll be activating mega-god. 💪🗿
I don't mean to be judgemental, but that was really really bad.
#monsterdon
@ricci yeah i think if i had watched that whole thing i would be as grumpy as everyone else but i dropped in for a pointless nonsense fight with like 15 bungled climaxes in it that kicked ass #monsterdon
even the music sounds like ps2 era videogame
my toxic trait is that I think the F-117 looks cool as fuck despite *knowing* it's a useless and dangerous plane
did somebody say Sidewinders?
We paid for the entire SFX library, and by god we're going to use the entire SFX library.
@diazona @bunnyhero yOu wOUldN'T dowNLoaD a KaijU
This is some 90s SciFi channel CGI, folks. #Monsterdon
Imagine: all this weird rune lettering in the credits was NOT even LLM-generated
The ending of this movie makes very little sense. And I say that as somebody who has watched a *lot* of giant-monster movies.
I think they converted Yonggary into a CGI float for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. That’s probably too sensible, though.
@klu9 @Taweret @combatwombat yes, this was fine Monsterdon programming, I'm glad they held out
Woof. That one hurt.
Okay folks, one last thing to do. Was REPTILIAN (1999) the WORST #Monsterdon film of the year?
One of those movies that just has no protagonist
Aliens:
oh no the crab has two health bars
in the loving embrace of the crab
is this other monster old gary, at last?
I don't understand what is going on, and I get the distinct impression that I would be no better informed if I had actually seen the first hour
these soldiers have the worst taglines ever committed to celluloid
"We're taking these mothers out. 'Alive' is the last thing I care about"
Happy Mother's Day!
I'm watching Garth Merenghi's War of the Wasps
They just used the phrase "World-famous Paleontologist."
For the life of me, I cannot name one paleontologist. What is a world-famous paleontologist?
Using "illegal" as a noun? Oh yea, I can't wait for his gory end. Fuck you, Campbell.
That’s Old Gary!
Sure thing boss let me just get out my digging hatchet
#monsterdon I'm not a huge fan of the nosehorn but every single other thing about the o.g. (dubbed) Yongary (with one r) is a delight. The film's colors, the twee little model tanks, the surf-a-billy music, all of it
@ricci @jonny The beginning was *so much more painful*. The mad paleontologist who dug up Young Gary's skeleton was one of the worst performances we've seen in #Monsterdon. The intrepid reporter wasn't much better. Both of them were completely pointless to boot.
@SnoopJ I have questions for the executive producers. Questions like, “Why did you spend money on this?”
I award Reptilian 3 out of 5 cursed CGI helicopters. It made no sense, the acting and FX were horrid, but at least I didn't fall asleep.
I was disappointed that it combined dinosaurs, aliens and a kaiju battle and somehow managed to make all of those things not very interesting. The fun factor of the premise was undercut by the execution.
Wow. Just wow. Words cannot express. It was awful, but I’m really happy to have experienced it with all of you.
As always, thanks to @Taweret for hosting, @cherizilla for the bingo card, @JoeWynne for the drink recipe and trivia, @ryan for the live stream, @paco for data analysis at https://gallery.don.monster, @combatwombat for the replay, and all of you for making it awesome!
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Wow that was amazing. !00% certified good fit for #monsterdon
Thanks everyone, and to @Taweret for hosting!
They used an F-117 due to its low polygon count.
HEADSHOT.WAV
this film clearly meets or exceeds all monsterdon standards
2 kaiju is multi, right? Bingo
prophecies of monsterdamus
Fuck it, close enough. Welcome back, Giant Enemy Crab.
Every 90s movie had secret government agencies who know more than they are letting on about the main event....
I think green screens should be harder to buy
okay a solid 1:13:00 into it, the movie that has given us exposition for so many things that don't matter bothers to explain that yes, the aliens are in fact dematerializing Yonggary
attack its weak point for massive damage!
If Matthew Broderick was a jetpack marine it would have been a better movie
meanwhile, in a different movie
I'm General Soldier McSoldierson
BOOM BOOM??
“I’m mad about alien fossils and I’m not going to take it anymore!”
Wow, anti-immigrant and exploitative, too. This guy's not missing ANY Capitalist Bad Guy notes.
Holly realized that there wouldn’t be another named woman character and edited herself out of the rest of the film
That's a rather high altitude shuttle
So I see! Thanks, here's the update:
@srol The reporter subplot didn't go anywhere either! The scene with the rival reporter was like a wart growing on another wart.
Thanks again to @Taweret for the opportunity to mock something so thoroughly 🙏
@Louisa I had fun! But it also left me feeling dissociated. Like if you get a spot too close to the speakers at a rock concert.
The final scene of carrying the creature away in an utter flop posture!! 😂 I am crying!
AFTERPARTY!!! the 1967 YONGARY is showing asap on miru . miyaku . media !!!!
I think I got a bingo in there.
Thanks for the fun #monsterdon ers. Tomorrow at 8 P ET #MondayActionMovie is featuring....Take care. See ya soon.
Well that was a classic of the Monsterdon genre, and not a single real actor was harmed!
I don't remember. What is this countdown thing? What has it been doing all movie?
in our bad cgi kaiju battle, many irrelevant things happen. then the bad monster loses and arm and then gropes gary with some tentacles. then do a fireball duel and gary kills the bad kaiju with a headshot.
back in the army factory they are like "yes yay we won!" but then the bad monster comes back to life despite being headless.
clearly none of the people in the control room have been shown any of the footage from the rest of the movie
I think I missed the moment when the characters decided they were on Team Yongarry. Did they flip a coin or something?