clearly none of the people in the control room have been shown any of the footage from the rest of the movie

#monsterdon

I think I missed the moment when the characters decided they were on Team Yongarry. Did they flip a coin or something?

#monsterdon

holy shit closed the distance between the two monsters in a single jump

NOW That's What I Call Cost-Effective Animation

#Monsterdon

Shoulda nuked the city when you had the chance. Aliens beat you to it.

#monsterdon

jfc they're in jetpacks now you don't have to keep picking angles that make me look at the monster's crotch

#monsterdon

Shout out to the most relatable characters, kids on a bus saying "wow look at the dinosaur!" and "yay!" when the bus driver floors it to get away from a fireball.

give the bus driver a medal and a raise.

#monsterdon

I was able to crack a joke about the kids being in the plot of SPEED, and then… the movie beat me to the punch, mimicking a stunt from SPEED

aight

#Monsterdon

"I MADE YOU!!"

No you didn't you found him

SQUISH

Oh well...

#Monsterdon

"THE PROPHECY HAS BEEN FULFILLED!"

I've always wanted to shout that

#Monsterdon

Do you have to tip EVERYONE in the USA?

#Monsterdon

Hey now you stop taking photos, you hear me? Anyway, now that I have removed one (1) roll of film from your camera, here is your camera back. Watch it, pal.

#Monsterdon

More like YAWNgary so far. #monsterdon

Real casual disregard for the Working Class in this movie so far...

#Monsterdon

Now THATS what I call acting, volume 1 #monsterdon #reptilian1999

@bunnyhero I'm sure by the first 2 minutes that if I've ever seen it, it was at a watch party. No way I'd sit through 100 minutes of this by myself at home. #monsterdon

@patioboater #monsterdon

It was definitely one of the top 100 kaiju movies made in Korea between 1999-2001. Maybe even top 99.

@floatybirb Kids cheering "Yayyy! We Almost Died!" like a bus full of Ralph Wiggums! #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Awesome, the original remake where no-one can seem to find the original original, Yongary(with one r) which has been branded with the American International logo, this promises to be some sort of palate cleanser...

Oh man somewhere Ralph Nader was also itching uncontrollably

this concludes my #monsterdon thread for Reptilian (19999), a kaiju movie that definitely counted as a complete movie!

until next week, um... try to befriend the kaiju without trying so your city doesn't get destroyed by nuclear attacks and/or space kaiju.

@jonny @ricci The first 30 minutes or so were really insufferable. Horrible dialogue, worse acting.

#Monsterdon

Harrison Young made this film either right before or right after he was in Saving Private Ryan. I hope it was before. I hope he wasn't in Saving Private Ryan and then had to be in Reptilian.

#monsterdon

@_L1vY_ a bold experiment, very New Wave

#Monsterdon

@paco Fail whale, meet fail Young Gary.

#Monsterdon

The aliens fucking off like the sex tourists they are...

#Monsterdon

They always get a Stealth aircraft to drop these things but do Kaiju have radar?

#Monsterdon

Great shot kid, that was one in a million!

#Monsterdon

For a second there I thought we found out exactly how far the animation budget went, but I guess the real ending of the fight can't be far off from the fake-out

#Monsterdon

Your wife hates you for what you did, and they know it at work....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Jammed? Get a rag! Clean your screen! SMUCKERS EVERYWHERE!

lol, Young Gary is on the side of the little people

Young Gary is going to blow this Government Conspiracy open!

#Monsterdon

the title says reptilian, but the CG performance is telling me "puppy"

#Monsterdon

I really thought the Independence Day comparison was maybe just in my head, but these are literally just badly paraphrased Randy Quaid lines. And those were already lines boiled down enough for Randy Quaid to say!!

#monsterdon

So, uh, is that a B-61 on the F-117?

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

Anyway, it's 1999 so here's some F-117 footage

#Monsterdon

“You keep saying you have lock. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

#Monsterdon #reptilian #reptilian1999

we got jetpacks!

... why jetpacks?

#monsterdon

lol @ Jet Pack Marines, a thing that makes so much sense to a 12 year old

#Monsterdon

"redirect to following coordinates to pick up a doordash order"

#monsterdon

I can't tell if I'm supposed to hate these soldier guys as much as I do

#monsterdon

lol, what the fuck is this scene all about?

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou

#Monsterdon #Reptilian

There's a forcefield? Yonggary has an AT field?

#Monsterdon

"General, we lost 9 16s."
"Next time just say we lost 144."

#monsterdon

someone who watched this movie saw the battle scene in Independence day and was annoyed that the F-18s were shooting cannons out their nose, so they bothered to have the F-16s fire the guns out of a place they actually have guns.

#monsterdon

Director: [does line of cocaine] …and then the kids are all like “look at the dinosaur” and then the bus jumps the gap in the bridge and then Yonggary shoots fire and then boom and kablooey and the kids are all like “yay!” and then…

#monsterdon #reptilian1999

"It's destroying the City"

The unnamed city....

#Monsterdon

Some satisfying building destruction but the cheap CGI ain't the same as those exquisite models they use in the Toho movies

#Monsterdon

Anyway, the 1999 LAPD is well-armed. This was, after all, the era of "what if making cops into a military force is a good idea, and cool actually?"

#Monsterdon

Director: Now, in this scene, imagine you had never had sex in your life. Then, for the first time ever, you see a porn film. Gimme that look."

#monsterdon

@SnoopJ Blocking you now.

;)

#Monsterdon

RE: https://infosec.exchange/@paco/116553439735747102

"But you can call me Boom Boom"

#Monsterdon

I remember this bit in Independence Day, it was better...

they had proper actors playing Generals in that movie, that gravely voiced guy that always looks angry....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Last I checked you didn't need to roll out of a car if it wasn't moving.

Yongary looks like he's vulnerable to light guns and quick time events

#Monsterdon

Decode the CD-R

sickos.cue

#Monsterdon

He ain't no fortunate one

#Monsterdon

She is not getting that chicken sandwich 😠

#Monsterdon

This fake Aubrey Plaza

Aubrey Stripmall

#Monsterdon

Harlton Cheston. #monsterdon

Movie C passes bechdel! how nice. ETA: Shit, not yet, we need the bartender's name

#monsterdon #Yonggary1999

Coffee is served

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

REAL film, destroyed 😭

#Monsterdon

"Weird Accidents"

A man hit a glowing thing and then exploded three times!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Threaten the workers *who have shovels* and you are *unarmed* except, you know, your offensive whiteness. I suppose that's his only weapon. Whiteness and Sweatiness.

They all should have walked off site at the first death

UNIONISE!

"You're all illegals and I'll report you"

Well this became horribly contemporary

#Monsterdon

“This sort of thing happens all the time.”

I had no idea there was such a terrible death toll in paleontology.

#Monsterdon #reptilian

omfg. This movie just passed the Bechdel test.

#monsterdon

50 times larger? Than a T Rex? A t rex is roughly the size of an elephant. For comparison, a tennis ball is roughly 50 times larger than a peanut m&m. So this thing has to be that much bigger than an elephant. You're either high AF or don't un derstand what any of these words mean." #monsterdon

Unionise

#Monsterdon

Got a late start on #Monsterdon today, but #Reptilian is rolling.

For some reason I expected this to be in Korean with English subtitles. By the time we’re done I fear I may wish it was in Korean.

"Too late for any redemption" was never more prescient

#Monsterdon

Everyone has that soap opera mile-long stare at no one else

#Monsterdon

Dear fuck this dialogue is video game worthy

#Monsterdon

he said the thing!

#Monsterdon

Nobody in this film is going to act, are they?

#Monsterdon

People died on this dig Professor, you've forgotten the men you sent in to explode?

#MOnsterdon

No photographs allowed. We shouldn't even be making this movie, to be honest

#Monsterdon

Flip phones!

Remember those?!

#Monsterdon

That spaceship makes me want to watch Babylon 5

#Monsterdon

aight yea sure fuck it spaceship now

#Monsterdon

Are they gonna credit the best-boy in the opening credits? Get on with it. #monsterdon

like any of these names mean anything...

#Monsterdon

These actors are homemade 😂

#Monsterdon

lady in the back's typing: "all work and no play makes yongary a dull monster. all work and no play makes yongary a dull monster. all work and no play...."

#monsterdon #WrongGary

"I don't want to meet that monster. And I'm sure he won't die of a broken heart if he doesn't get to meet me!" - better phrasing that anything in Reptilian

#monsterdon #WrongGary

Wait, so 3 tank divisions includes supporting infantry, right? Not just literally 3 tanks.

#monsterdon #WrongGary

Still better acting than Reptilian.

#monsterdon #WrongGary #VeryLowBar

@srol This is the only nipple that matters.

#Monsterdon

@srol @lightspill #monsterdon

wait, I missed that nipple. (er... for tracking whether it passed the Dolemite Test part 1.) When in the movie did it happen?

Now that I'm remembering about that nipple, that rival reporter subplot never did go anywhere beyond that one scene lol

#monsterdon

Is this a kissing movie?

#monsterdon #yongary1967

Reading a bit about the film

film was in production for 18 months and resulted in 45 minutes of computer graphics

Via Wikipedia.

I will say that the cgi was really good.

But the whole film. A total wild ride.
#monsterdon

What did we learn from this #Monsterdon ?

1) always read the hieroglyphics
2) don't fight a giant cgi dinosaur if you don't have to
3) if you do have to fight a giant cgi dinosaur, then don't shoot missiles at it if you know those missiles will miss and also destroy buildings

Chomping the tentacles, lmao 😂

#Monsterdon

Every bit of dialogue spoken through a vacuum cleaner tube

#Monsterdon

@_L1vY_ YES. Holy shit. Yes.

#monsterdon #Yonggary1999

And so Yonggari fucked off to a deserted island.

That was terrible, but I gotta admit, I laughed pretty hard in places. It was such a mess of a script, with godawful dialogue and a nonsensical plot, acted terribly, and with just plain bad CGI… but it had its moments.

Thanks for making it extra fun, everyone. Take care of each other. Be kind, spread love, enjoy the absurd.

Goodnight.

#Monsterdon

And it ends not with a bang but with a RAWR that I'm pretty sure was a whimper

That was awful but as usual the feed made it hilarious! Thanks as always @Taweret for hosting and everybody for posting. Onward and hopefully upward to the 1967 original (English dub) on @miru

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999 #Yonggary1999

#monsterdon That's all, that's enough... LOL! Thanks to @Taweret and @miru!

Can't wait for Yngarry II: What's my nmae? #monsterdon