What did we learn from this #Monsterdon ?
1) always read the hieroglyphics
2) don't fight a giant cgi dinosaur if you don't have to
3) if you do have to fight a giant cgi dinosaur, then don't shoot missiles at it if you know those missiles will miss and also destroy buildings
Chomping the tentacles, lmao 😂
Every bit of dialogue spoken through a vacuum cleaner tube
@_L1vY_ YES. Holy shit. Yes.
And so Yonggari fucked off to a deserted island.
That was terrible, but I gotta admit, I laughed pretty hard in places. It was such a mess of a script, with godawful dialogue and a nonsensical plot, acted terribly, and with just plain bad CGI… but it had its moments.
Thanks for making it extra fun, everyone. Take care of each other. Be kind, spread love, enjoy the absurd.
Goodnight.
#monsterdon That's all, that's enough... LOL! Thanks to @Taweret and @miru!
Can't wait for Yngarry II: What's my nmae? #monsterdon
and we fucked off into young gary's throat, the end
This man's got a foot-long cigar
Beta One not wondering why Control is not talking back at all. In his lane, moisturized, head down, flourishing.
This kaiju fight is very "Killer Bean Forever" for some reason
This is when Mothra shows up usually...
#monsterdon We're hazardously close to this becoming Hentai…
@ohiofi I'd rather fight Yonggary than the T-rexes because he might switch sides and join my team on his own before I had a chance to die.
the evil government agent decides to sabotage the army's computers with a walkie talkie but gets his ass kicked and his walkie talkie confiscated.
back in LA, the other monster has appeared to fight Gary. It looks kind of like Gary, but has more claws and a tail with a claw.
💭 i should watch this movie on mute
"If that thing was any meaner, I'd swear it was my wife"
lasjhdfoaluiysbdfpuabdsf we've peaked. we've peaked. there's nowhere to go from here, we've peaked.
no fucking idea why but Gary is on our side now and so we don't have to fight him.
This freaks out the aliens so they wave their hands and shout "activate cyborg!" and shoot a roman candle to LA so it explodes and... I guess turns into another monster that we haven't seen yet?
Oh I see the problem: The missiles were set to building-seeking. #monsterdon
the miniatures look nice but the script is going for something that I have no hopes it can pull off
The fate of all mankind rests on your shoulders! But no pressure.
good guy gary
@saucerlost You should have to pass a background check
…and then it follows up this exposition immediately by having the Jetpack Jackoffs track Yonggary using infrared, a thing they can apparently do
so, is he NOT dematerialized, then? what the fuck?
“Compared to THIS GUY… Jaws is a piece of shit”
I think I missed how exactly the jetpacks are supposed to help
That's exactly how the US Military behaves when a solider is having a moment, yes...
in the army factory the government decides it wants to nuke LA to defeat Gary. somehow there is an off-screen evacuation of LA, which annoys me because why would you make a kaiju movie without an evacuation scene? Also the army has jet packs but they're not ready but they'll use them anyway to fight Gary.
#monsterdon well, a daemon you say? sudo systemctl yongary restart?
You guys this script is making me believe in time travel because it was clearly written by an LLM
Did he log in to Tyrian
They're out of missiles, they need Randy Quaid!
they still haven't figured out that yonggary can duck
The acting in this movie is incredibly inconsistent. It’s as if every actor in this movie got different direction in terms of the tone they were supposed to portray.
The Archies would probably do a better job of handling this crisis.
lol, sacrifice the children to the Kaiju god!
i appreciate the number of "crowds fleeing" shots
I, too, want a sensible explanation and want it now
My city has a Kaiju Preparedness plan....just saying...
lone copper shooting monster...what 50s movie is that from?
so that it could Pump Up the JAMS on re-entry
One of the army guys is mad that the Mysterious Government Agent knew about this for several months and didn't tell them. I feel that's a pretty short timeline for a Mysterious Government Agency to reveal its dark secrets.
Anyway, the agent wants them to capture the aliens alive but the army guys are like "i dunno man that space dinosaur is kicking our ass."
Where is the camera for this video feed?!
Oh no, they're attacking my city in Sim City 4!
This is one of those 90s monster movies that crams 40 plots into one movie, isn't it?
@bunnyhero At least it gives you something to do..... #monsterdon
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@bunnyhero hahah! WOW
#Monsterdon
These all sound like better script ideas
YO! the NSIA is gonna get after ya!
Man just blags his way into Government buildings claiming to be from a very top secret agency that nobody has heard of
Fun fact you have to have 4 or more greying white men in a grey windowless room in order to be a "situation room". Otherwise it's just a sparkling crisis center. #monsterdon
His script is on the dash, right
this is the platonic ideal of a #monsterdon movie
General, we've found Yongary's Switch, and we deleted his Zelda game save.
@SnoopJ is that his nickname?
General Boom-Boom?
That was one real nasty-looking salute, woof
I wonder if this ever ran on the Sci-Fi Channel
It ISN'T real
The shaymen said that, huh
Acting = Talking with a cigar or cigarette in your mouth and mentioning Tarantino
"I hope you're as crazy as you sound" - traditional American goodbye
#monsterdon More Secret? Who are you keeping the secret from? You may mean, more private. Because private is secret without the ...object… in there…
#monsterdon What's Campbell doing? MAKING SOUP?
UMM
Bar
Best acting in the whole movie.
#monsterdon
"Men are bastards"
Now we're getting some contemporary gender politics in Monsterdon!
"Is he bothering you?"
Sisters looking out for one another
BECHDEL PASS!!!!!
Here be aliens, whether the film needs them or not!
Is this guy creating an Elder Scrolls character
Oh neat we finally meet the aliens! They look kind of like silvery kaiju villain talking heads, maybe with some goop or blood on them to make them look gritty or less defined. Their voices sound exactly like power ranger villains.
We see them but they don't really say anything interesting. Just "our superior space technology will technology" and "no we must do strange stuff."
I'm afraid to look at the imdb for this lol.
Stock Footage of South Korea prepared for the North's tricks...
How can you justify this dialogue?!
professor needs an eatin'
over acting, yes!!!
Oh wow, the Aliens have a RAVE CANNON
While the puny earthlings are so happy they found a giant dinosaur, the aliens decide to harsh our mellow by launching space fighters and lasering our space shuttle and also a satellite, making the army dudes monitoring the space shit go "WTF what happened to all our space shit?"
Why yes it IS "unbelievable" in that we cannot believe it
Did you find any Power Ranger skeletons in the vicinity
50 times wider, but the same height
We then introduce new character, Shirtless Boss, who is lounging in bed with our other character, Bored Yet Cuddly Sex Worker. Shirtless Boss interrupts her cuddling time by taking a phone call to say "dinosaur!"
That mean of all the made up generic Western names in a Japanese video game
"Jeremy Washington"
"Jonathan Hamburger"
Is this an FMV game
Youngary's like: "This keg party SUCKS!"
Anyway, this is Alpha Control congratulating the greater launch crew for another successful launching of film into space, and thanking @Taweret for organising, as always. We now hand off to Miru Control for the remainder of our voyage. Good night and good luck!
I'm going to watch Giants of Thessaly because the thumbnail has a shirtless bodybuilder, and I need a palate cleanser after that thing that I struggle to call a "movie".
#monsterdon
@Lazarou A gimmie, by virtue of no real actors being on set.
I like how the old guy said Gary saved everyone, as if he didn't kill a bunch of those workers for no reason
i missed the #monsterdon entirely, but the scrollback suggests that it was a doozie.
@SnoopJ glottal stop ftw!
#Monsterdon
Another real stinker, but I did enjoy putting the monster back in monsterdon.
fucking off into the sea _and_ fucking off into the sea of stars, that's a pretty good double-fucking-off