#monsterdon That's all, that's enough... LOL! Thanks to @Taweret and @miru!

Can't wait for Yngarry II: What's my nmae? #monsterdon

and we fucked off into young gary's throat, the end

#monsterdon

This man's got a foot-long cigar

#Monsterdon

Beta One not wondering why Control is not talking back at all. In his lane, moisturized, head down, flourishing.

#Monsterdon

This kaiju fight is very "Killer Bean Forever" for some reason

#Monsterdon

This is when Mothra shows up usually...

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon We're hazardously close to this becoming Hentai…

@ohiofi I'd rather fight Yonggary than the T-rexes because he might switch sides and join my team on his own before I had a chance to die.

#monsterdon

the evil government agent decides to sabotage the army's computers with a walkie talkie but gets his ass kicked and his walkie talkie confiscated.

back in LA, the other monster has appeared to fight Gary. It looks kind of like Gary, but has more claws and a tail with a claw.

#monsterdon

💭 i should watch this movie on mute

#monsterdon

"If that thing was any meaner, I'd swear it was my wife"

lasjhdfoaluiysbdfpuabdsf we've peaked. we've peaked. there's nowhere to go from here, we've peaked.

#monsterdon

no fucking idea why but Gary is on our side now and so we don't have to fight him.

This freaks out the aliens so they wave their hands and shout "activate cyborg!" and shoot a roman candle to LA so it explodes and... I guess turns into another monster that we haven't seen yet?

#monsterdon

Oh I see the problem: The missiles were set to building-seeking. #monsterdon

yes, general, you should have known

fucking idiot

#monsterdon

the miniatures look nice but the script is going for something that I have no hopes it can pull off

#Monsterdon

The fate of all mankind rests on your shoulders! But no pressure.

#Monsterdon

lol, Young Gary is on the side of the little people

Young Gary is going to blow this Government Conspiracy open!

#Monsterdon

None of these guys have good tone

Faces for radio and voices for a PDF

#Monsterdon

good guy gary

#monsterdon

@saucerlost You should have to pass a background check

#monsterdon #reptilian1999

…and then it follows up this exposition immediately by having the Jetpack Jackoffs track Yonggary using infrared, a thing they can apparently do

so, is he NOT dematerialized, then? what the fuck?

#Monsterdon

“Compared to THIS GUY… Jaws is a piece of shit”

#monsterdon #reptilian1999

I think I missed how exactly the jetpacks are supposed to help

#monsterdon

That's exactly how the US Military behaves when a solider is having a moment, yes...

#Monsterdon

in the army factory the government decides it wants to nuke LA to defeat Gary. somehow there is an off-screen evacuation of LA, which annoys me because why would you make a kaiju movie without an evacuation scene? Also the army has jet packs but they're not ready but they'll use them anyway to fight Gary.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon well, a daemon you say? sudo systemctl yongary restart?

You guys this script is making me believe in time travel because it was clearly written by an LLM

#monsterdon

"What intelligence?"

Lady, wait 'til you see 2026...

#Monsterdon

Did he log in to Tyrian

#Monsterdon

"Daddy Love ET"

Elongated Testicles

#Monsterdon

They're out of missiles, they need Randy Quaid!

#Monsterdon

they still haven't figured out that yonggary can duck

#monsterdon

Capture the aliens? 🥴

These are not Red Lectroids!

#Monsterdon

The acting in this movie is incredibly inconsistent. It’s as if every actor in this movie got different direction in terms of the tone they were supposed to portray.

#Monsterdon #reptilian #reptilian1999

@moira #monsterdon

The Archies would probably do a better job of handling this crisis.

lol, sacrifice the children to the Kaiju god!

#Monsterdon

i appreciate the number of "crowds fleeing" shots

#monsterdon

I, too, want a sensible explanation and want it now

#Monsterdon

"It's destroying the City"

The unnamed city....

#Monsterdon

My city has a Kaiju Preparedness plan....just saying...

lone copper shooting monster...what 50s movie is that from?

#Monsterdon

@moira #monsterdon

so that it could Pump Up the JAMS on re-entry

One of the army guys is mad that the Mysterious Government Agent knew about this for several months and didn't tell them. I feel that's a pretty short timeline for a Mysterious Government Agency to reveal its dark secrets.

Anyway, the agent wants them to capture the aliens alive but the army guys are like "i dunno man that space dinosaur is kicking our ass."

#monsterdon

Where is the camera for this video feed?!

#monsterdon #reptilian1999

Oh no, they're attacking my city in Sim City 4!

#Monsterdon

This is one of those 90s monster movies that crams 40 plots into one movie, isn't it?

#Monsterdon

@bunnyhero At least it gives you something to do..... #monsterdon

@bunnyhero hahah! WOW
#Monsterdon

I remember this bit in Independence Day, it was better...

they had proper actors playing Generals in that movie, that gravely voiced guy that always looks angry....

#Monsterdon

These all sound like better script ideas

#Monsterdon

@bunnyhero #monsterdon

YO! the NSIA is gonna get after ya!

Man just blags his way into Government buildings claiming to be from a very top secret agency that nobody has heard of

#Monsterdon

I really enjoyed "Roger. 10-4." by the way

✨Screenwriting✨

#Monsterdon

Fun fact you have to have 4 or more greying white men in a grey windowless room in order to be a "situation room". Otherwise it's just a sparkling crisis center. #monsterdon

"It smells so.....old"

The dialogue in this movie is like the poetry of the Ancients

#Monsterdon

His script is on the dash, right

#Monsterdon

CDR!!!!

BURNING PARTY!! LIMEWIRE! NAPSTER!!

#Monsterdon

this is the platonic ideal of a #monsterdon movie

General, we've found Yongary's Switch, and we deleted his Zelda game save.

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ is that his nickname?

#Monsterdon

General Boom-Boom?

#Monsterdon

That was one real nasty-looking salute, woof

I wonder if this ever ran on the Sci-Fi Channel

#Monsterdon

It ISN'T real

#Monsterdon

The shaymen said that, huh

#Monsterdon

Acting = Talking with a cigar or cigarette in your mouth and mentioning Tarantino

#Monsterdon

"I hope you're as crazy as you sound" - traditional American goodbye

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon What's Campbell doing? MAKING SOUP?

UMM
Bar

Best acting in the whole movie.
#monsterdon

"Men are bastards"

Now we're getting some contemporary gender politics in Monsterdon!

"Is he bothering you?"

Sisters looking out for one another

#Monsterdon

BECHDEL PASS!!!!!

#Monsterdon

They all should have walked off site at the first death

UNIONISE!

"You're all illegals and I'll report you"

Well this became horribly contemporary

#Monsterdon

Here be aliens, whether the film needs them or not!

#Monsterdon

Is this guy creating an Elder Scrolls character

#Monsterdon

Oh neat we finally meet the aliens! They look kind of like silvery kaiju villain talking heads, maybe with some goop or blood on them to make them look gritty or less defined. Their voices sound exactly like power ranger villains.

We see them but they don't really say anything interesting. Just "our superior space technology will technology" and "no we must do strange stuff."

#monsterdon

I'm afraid to look at the imdb for this lol.

#monsterdon

Stock Footage of South Korea prepared for the North's tricks...

#MOnsterdon

How can you justify this dialogue?!

#Monsterdon

professor needs an eatin'

#monsterdon

Unionise

#Monsterdon

over acting, yes!!!

#monsterdon

Oh wow, the Aliens have a RAVE CANNON

#Monsterdon

While the puny earthlings are so happy they found a giant dinosaur, the aliens decide to harsh our mellow by launching space fighters and lasering our space shuttle and also a satellite, making the army dudes monitoring the space shit go "WTF what happened to all our space shit?"

#monsterdon

Why yes it IS "unbelievable" in that we cannot believe it

#Monsterdon

Did you find any Power Ranger skeletons in the vicinity

#Monsterdon

50 times wider, but the same height

#monsterdon #reptilian1999

We then introduce new character, Shirtless Boss, who is lounging in bed with our other character, Bored Yet Cuddly Sex Worker. Shirtless Boss interrupts her cuddling time by taking a phone call to say "dinosaur!"

#monsterdon

Flip phones!

Remember those?!

#Monsterdon

That mean of all the made up generic Western names in a Japanese video game

"Jeremy Washington"

"Jonathan Hamburger"

#Monsterdon

lol

"Better not do that again"

Why are you laughing dude, why?

#Monsterdon

Is this an FMV game

#Monsterdon

Youngary's like: "This keg party SUCKS!"

#monsterdon #WrongGary

Still better acting than Reptilian.

#monsterdon #WrongGary #VeryLowBar

Anyway, this is Alpha Control congratulating the greater launch crew for another successful launching of film into space, and thanking @Taweret for organising, as always. We now hand off to Miru Control for the remainder of our voyage. Good night and good luck!

#monsterdon #Yonggary1999

What did we learn from this #Monsterdon ?

1) always read the hieroglyphics
2) don't fight a giant cgi dinosaur if you don't have to
3) if you do have to fight a giant cgi dinosaur, then don't shoot missiles at it if you know those missiles will miss and also destroy buildings

I'm going to watch Giants of Thessaly because the thumbnail has a shirtless bodybuilder, and I need a palate cleanser after that thing that I struggle to call a "movie".
#monsterdon

@Lazarou A gimmie, by virtue of no real actors being on set.

#monsterdon #Yonggary1999

I like how the old guy said Gary saved everyone, as if he didn't kill a bunch of those workers for no reason

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999

i missed the #monsterdon entirely, but the scrollback suggests that it was a doozie.

@SnoopJ glottal stop ftw!
#Monsterdon

Another real stinker, but I did enjoy putting the monster back in monsterdon.

#Monsterdon