Anyway, this is Alpha Control congratulating the greater launch crew for another successful launching of film into space, and thanking @Taweret for organising, as always. We now hand off to Miru Control for the remainder of our voyage. Good night and good luck!
I'm going to watch Giants of Thessaly because the thumbnail has a shirtless bodybuilder, and I need a palate cleanser after that thing that I struggle to call a "movie".
#monsterdon
@Lazarou A gimmie, by virtue of no real actors being on set.
I like how the old guy said Gary saved everyone, as if he didn't kill a bunch of those workers for no reason
i missed the #monsterdon entirely, but the scrollback suggests that it was a doozie.
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@SnoopJ glottal stop ftw!
#Monsterdon
Another real stinker, but I did enjoy putting the monster back in monsterdon.
fucking off into the sea _and_ fucking off into the sea of stars, that's a pretty good double-fucking-off
back in space, the aliens decide to run away because they're scared of Gary discovering his Super Saiyajin heritage. They warp out, resolving to conquer earth later in the sequel to this film that will not be made.
Back on Earth, the army decide to use some CGI helicopters to tow Gary off to a field somewhere so he can chill out and yawn.
Then... credits.
Wow the music sting for the countdown was really pathetic, even for this movie. #monsterdon
Poor Young Gary being carried like a drunk out of town
Maybe we all needed an island on which to prepare for the 21st Century?
AWESOME. AWESOME. 25 CHINOOKS STRAPPED INCOHERENTLY TO A MONSTER IS AWESOME. #monsterdon
"Don't scream "WE WON!" this time Bitch." #monsterdon
This whole movie is a bomb, so why should the ending be any different?
"we'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when, but we'll meet again some day"
ouch! shot him in the neck hole!
βWeβve come to far. This canβt happen now.β
βHave faith, Holly.β
Young Gary, please rescue us, the audience, from this horrible dialog!
#Monsterdon
"Get up, Young Gary!"
How many limbs has that second Kaiju got though?
"you know what, let's give small arms fire another try. it just might work"
Parker, like a typical white dude tries to make this Kaiju battle about him
Would you rather fight 1 Yonggary-sized Yonggary or 50 TRex-sized TRexes?
#monsterdon
π΅οΈββοΈβοΈππ’π¦πππ¦π¦π±
The plot is explosions. The rest is superfluous.
I'm having trouble deciding what score to rate this movie because I gave Godzilla 1998 a "4 out of 5" because my standards are just like that, and this movie is simultaneously much better and much worse than that one.
Let Yongarry sleep! His skin smells old!
Finally a good CGI scene
aww, the little dinky books!
We've got these Yongarys, beaming in, very bad people. We're going to stop these beams, we're going to stop these reptilian extremists
(invades Cuba)
More "what if ID4 but more" scenes
oh wait what is young gary the monster, who is the weird awkwardguy lurking behind the military trough #monsterdon
mills. and he should have known
lol at the bad acting. lol at the bad special effects. lol at the airplanes shooting and missing again, blowing up another skyscraper. shout out the pedestrians stopping to admire Gary's majestic tail.
I don't think the movie understands what "tone" means in an ordinance sense. A writer just heard them say that before they launch missiles in other movies.
OMG let's stand right next to its tail
#Monsterdon
It's headed 36 degrees north east. 36 degrees is always north east and as the audience I don't really give a fuck which way its going. #Monsterdon
Fun fact! Nukes are carried by B2 stealth bombers! Meanwhile, here's some footage of an F-117 stealth fighter for no apparent reason #Monsterdon #Reptilian2001
Edit: If we're being pedantic (and at least one of you is), the F-117 was *designed* with the capability to carry nuclear weapons but was never operationalized for or deployed/exercised in that capacity. So going to the trouble to do that during an active Kaiju attack when the B2 is *right there* would be... a choice)
back in politics, the President has decided to nuke LA, which is probably what would happen if a Kaiju attacked LA in real life.
We were promised jetpacks
@moira I'm just assuming that it sounds cool in Korean.
this entire alien invasion is two alien perverts just messing with the natives, I bet they are nepo babies
and I have had a third degree calf burn (it was tiny) and it flipping hurt they would not be able to concentrate
#Monsterdon π΅οΈββοΈβοΈππ’π¦πππ¦π¦π±
#Yonggary1999
@bunnyhero And looked fairly decent. #monsterdon
groaning at this scene where Captain Chin is briefing some soldiers and one of them is scared so he dismisses him and gives that soldier's Giant Gatling Gun to another soldier.
LT O'Neill is supposed to have character development I guess
Aaaand now the Top Gun ripoff part.
Oh! And there we have Speed.
"Any progress doctor?"
"Yes general, I've managed to tuck my shirt into my pants. Will get to work on the buttons next."
I want to get out of this entire film, SIR!
Those are better odds than I'd expect
She plans to use every scene in this movie for her acting highlight reel.
This isn't noticably worse than the Broderick one. #monsterdon
I would like to discuss the alien's plan to conquer the world (or do whatever) in this #monsterdon . It appears to be...
1) gather your forces in space
2) summon a giant dinosaur from beyond the grave
3) wait for the dinosaur to smash shit?
4) conquer the world?
does this seem like a good plan?
Daddy Loves E.T.
good job guys you won it's gone
@SnoopJ well it sounded like abbot
Try a Kolvoord Starburst maneuver
#monsterdon So the Kaiju has an unbeatable defense... someone should look into thisβ¦βbasic duckingβ defense. It's phenomenal!
@cocaine_owlbear Thatβs like almost 12 Sharknados
($2M in 2013, $2.83M adjusted for inflation)
This thing is disturbingly (somewhat) agile for a kaiju
Yongamp. It really whips the limas ass
if you are following along from home just assume that the next 20 minutes of this movie are about CGI dinosaur who is busy smashing buildings and getting annoyed by airplanes with bad aim.
How many times do militaries waste their planes and tanks against a Kaiju, only destroying everything around the monster?
They never learn, perhaps they don't want to learn!
Speed knockoff βοΈ
YYAAAYYYY
oh good we get some F-16s. The F-16 is a nice looking airplane.
lol, the kids loving it!
the makers of this movie have played "command and conquer: red alert" because they have the soldiers with the missiles standing in the middle of a road trying to missile something, but the something is a giant dinosaur named, Gary.
"General, I made you a mix, it's on this CD-R. Please decode it."
Are they all on some secret usenet group or something? they all know each other?
the aliens use their teleporter laser to teleport Gary to Los Angeles so he can menace some cars. they then blind the army by using their regular laser to blow up a satellite that is clearly based on the 1970s Skylab space station.
bullshit, alien dinosaur breath can't melt steel beams #monsterdon
This kaiju is CG-animated as if it weighs about 5 pounds
@bunnyhero 1-800-NO-COPIES
back in the army factory, a Mysterious Government Agent appears to tell the generals about the spaceship. He explains his organization is so secret that not even the White House knows about it, then tells them that they found a magic cave with evidence that aliens visited the Earth.
How many more times do you need us to explain the back story?
You aren't going to get a sensible anything in this movie, sorry #Monsterdon #Reptilian2001
Oh the Aliens can teleport Young Gary....to Waffle House?
My money is on the humvee driver being the former adult film star. He seems familiar. #monsterdon
@ricci you wouldn't have missed too much setup, but this one is definitely worth a Replay if you don't join in. This is perfect schlock, has not yet felt like it's wasting our time, and is taking itself EXTREMELY seriously relative to its production quality
Did anyone think to ask Yonggary how he feels about being resurrected after 200 million years
maybe he's not enthusiastic about any of this either
This is still better than the Matthew Broderick Godzilla though...
#Monsterdon π΅οΈββοΈβοΈππ’π¦πππ¦π¦π±
#Yonggary1999
Sargeant, don't diss our Yonggary he's very handsome
Army guy: Youβre saying it vanished into thin air when struck by a light from outer space.
Philip K. Dick, frustrated: I said it was a *pink* light from outer space.
Yay, a CD!
@Taweret the boom boom line is very true to form
the army decided to join the plot of the movie and sends some soldiers to inspect the Midnight Dig Site, led by Captain Chin, who interviews Holly and the Doctor, being like "whadya mean there's a giant dinosaur that was resurrected by a lightning beam?" and they are like "yeah i know it sounds crazy but that dinosaur will probably destroy a city or two..." and then the solders find a giant dinosaur footprint, which is either a good day at work or a bad day at work.
ALL SCREAMING
#monsterdon Boom boom? ;)
So far our monster is maybe zilla sized
Yongary crashed during the update
You can....talk...to the dinosaur...that was bones a minute ago...until it was revived by...an alien laser....from space.
Die, sir.
Zapped by the alien anti-death ray!
Love those turn of the Millennium cheap computer effects!
A more innocent time...