ALL SCREAMING

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Boom boom? ;)

Have you considered interstellar war?

"Not right off the bat, no."

#Monsterdon

So far our monster is maybe zilla sized

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

Yongary crashed during the update

#Monsterdon

You can....talk...to the dinosaur...that was bones a minute ago...until it was revived by...an alien laser....from space.

Die, sir.

#monsterdon
#Yonggary1999

Zapped by the alien anti-death ray!

#monsterdon #reptilian1999

Love those turn of the Millennium cheap computer effects!
A more innocent time...

#Monsterdon

I can't believe it isn't ID4

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

A cute, bitchin’ chick, a store-brand Alan Grant, a leather-wearing photographer, and the guy from Network

#monsterdon #reptilian1999

and you can't carbon-date things 200 million years old anyway

I mean I know the science in this movie is nonsense, that was clear from "alien dinosaur resurrection", but I can't let these things go

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999 #Yonggary1999

We're 30 minutes in and I just realized I haven't been riffing on it at all because I've been captivated by this weird ass movie when it was about aliens and growing bones until it got to this stretch of scientist talk #monsterdon

We go back to the army factory, where the army is welding an F-4 phantom in a shop and talking to a white coat scientist in an attempt to remind the audience of Independence Day. The army guys and the scientist are collectively like "fuck aliens are messing with us fuck how do we fight aliens???" and the audience shrugs.

#monsterdon

This movie has been respecting the 180 degree rule. That's about the nicest thing I can say about it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/180-degree_rule
#monsterdon

"This is apocalyptic"

Do you realize how little that narrows things down?

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

@diazona @davesdogmaggie She's pretty good at all of them though

#Monsterdon

Contrary to the way I've been behaving, dressing, and facial expressioning, I am not crazy.
#monsterdon

Welding the F-4, or something

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

they're just doing some plane welding here.

#monsterdon

He said Aliens, not Ghosts lady....what kind of Scientist are you?

#Monsterdon

Oh hai now it's a cosmic horror tale! #Monsterdon

@techlifeweb https://tubitv.com/movies/589311/reptilian

#monsterdon

@paco He was paid by the word, and they were being economical.

#Monsterdon

"Can I get you something?"
"Hot coffee and a chicken sandwich."

Yep that's a Bechdel pass

#Monsterdon

"male testosterone"

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon "Who is it?" -- “LANDSHARK!”

I hope Yongary steps on this prick

#Monsterdon

More dead workers and more unspooling film? Uh and stomping the film into the dirt because???

For those of you too young to know, exposing the film to light before its developed destroys the image, so there's really no point in grinding it into the dirt, it's already erased.

#monsterdon

Dr. Campbell, of Soup University.

#monsterdon

I think he means "A $2 'craps' game," not a crap game 🤭

#Monsterdon

I always stagger out zipping

#Monsterdon

I thought he meant he killed her too...he's got that vibe

Did somebody's rich, useless son make this movie?

#Monsterdon

"Ignore the bodies and return to work" -- see, Amazon was VERY precedented

#Monsterdon

Every time they show a space ship I'm like "Wait, what?" I keep forgetting that this is some kinda weird sci-fi thing.
#monsterdon

Dr Campbell talks to Holly in private and is like "We must dig because fame and glory, I'm probably the bad guy hahahaha!"

Back in the army factory, a three star general is summoned to berate the radar guys because their shuttle disappeared. And then the army turns on their missiles and runs around shouting for no reason.

#monsterdon

Do not accept a drink off this man

#MOnsterdon

We've lost communications with

Beautiful line read, want to retake? No all the others were much worse? Ok.
#monsterdon

Oh wow, this is just how I imagine the US Military to behave

#Monsterdon

Mr. Black tries to photograph the dead workers but the Professor steals his film to do a press sensorship, then he blames an electrical cord and tells the workers "dispose of these bodies and get to work", which they seem suitably unimpressed by.

Holly is like "wait shouldn't we call the cops because dead person?" and the Professor is like "No, but I will pay the workers more to dig" and they are like "okay".

#monsterdon

he's so upset that he spilled his iced tea everywhere!

#Monsterdon

The lead actress is on the Ket...

Understandable

#MOnsterdon

Remember film?

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

@dogwelder Yongglengary yongglenross

#monsterdon #reptilian1999

The Paparazzi dude just wanders in like the party just ended...

#MOnsterdon

*looks up how big a T-Rex is*

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999 #Yonggary1999

We are now at a Midnight Dig Site, where we get some more characters. The characters are:

Boy Paleontologist (Dr Campbell)
Girl Paleontologist (Holly)
Newspaper Guy (Mr Black)

The paleontologists are at first annoyed with the paparazi guy then decide to cautiously permit him to chill out. They explain they're digging up a giant dinosaur, 50 times the size of a T-Rex, then offer him some ice tea.

#monsterdon

Pretty impressive space armada for Monsterdon...but why is all this?

#Monsterdon

50 times, but given what's measurable... length?

#Monsterdon #Reptilian2001 #Yonggary1999

This lady has a voice like an AI.

#monsterdon

damn, driving that sedan on a dirt road like he stole it

#Monsterdon

Something about men wearing their hat like that makes me wary of them...

#Monsterdon

you know the sex was really good when your partner's eyeshadow is unsmudged

#monsterdon

Sorry I haven't called, I'm nursing an escort

#Monsterdon

Big old 90s CRTs!

Is the Spaceship and the Moon the same size?

#Monsterdon

A few minutes late to starting #Monsterdon, but I have been looking forward to #Reptilian for as long as I can remember, so I’m definitely not missing it!

I do like the CG spaceship though :blobfox3c:

#Monsterdon

@trixter I saw at least two Korean names in there. shout out to special guest stars, korean names. #monsterdon

And that's the part that's supposed to make you want to stay around and watch.... #monsterdon

The opening credits are mine, all mine!

.........That's not my name!

#Monsterdon

I dig with my ax, you dig?!

#monsterdon #reptilian1999

They did not cheap out on the opening credits like they did on the casting. #monsterdon

lol, at that explosion!

#Monsterdon

This is my favorite He-Man action playset

#Monsterdon

I wouldn't call it beautiful, 'glowing' perhaps

#Monsterdon

Who are these people and why are they in a cave?

"THERE!" says the lead actor at some stuff

loving the acting of the extras, they gave it their all

#Monsterdon

Hold on to your butts!

#monsterdon #reptillian1999

It's nice of Yongary to stay on his side of the median #Monsterdon #Yongary1967

Nothing worse than a horny monster on the prowl downtown #Monsterdon #Yongary1967

DANG! The one time that Ill Woo decides to be a hero, and everybody tries to talk him outta it!

#monsterdon #WrongGary

"Ground Control to Major Kim...."

#monsterdon #WrongGary

@bstacey @jonny

and... and... that's *not* what we got in the last 30 minutes? I'm actually in awe of what I missed

#monsterdon

Icho's itch-o.

#monsterdon #WrongGary

Yonggary, Cycor, aliens, fighter jets dropping or not dropping something, a war room, I am just too confused.

#Monsterdon

ok, snacks acquired. I'm ready to get hurt again.

#monsterdon #WrongGary

@SnoopJ @miru @ryan YES I LOVE this interstitial! So good, so fun, so nostalgic! #Monsterdon

@floatybirb Bud contributed the service of being named Bud so that the bad guy could start sentences with "Okay Bud, " #monsterdon

@aburka @cherizilla honestly I didn't really recognize anything, there were just generic buildings and bridges the whole time

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999 #Yonggary1999

Well, thanks everyone for the laughts during this #monsterdon feature. You’d hardly find a larger amount of clichéd dialogue and more ridiculous one-liners anywhere else.

#monsterdon you know what? I genuinely thought the guy at the bar who didn't want to talk about his breakup was going to be a love interest for Holly, and the two of them would save the day somehow

Never let it be said this movie is predictable

I was tardy to the party but the was an enjoyable #monsterdon !

@Lazarou "Whoops! All Extras!"

#Monsterdon

"Come on, you little freak!" --said to a man a foot taller than him

#Monsterdon

saluting the Miniature Explosion Team and Breaking Miniature Team as credits roll

#Monsterdon

i think i lost the thread of the plot somewhere in the middle of this movie, it was probably in one of the hundred 0.1s action cuts
#monsterdon

This was the best worst best worst best worst Monsterdon yet. I regret that Young Gary had no spare daemon in active-passive setup.

#Yonggary1999
#monsterdon

Did I miss the part where professor dickbag got his comeuppance? Oh well. #monsterdon

Wow. That was…something.

#Monsterdon

@bk1e I mean, "low polygon count" is literally why Lockheed built it that way (they couldn't calculate the radar cross section of a curved shape)

#Monsterdon

Fun fact: The 'Gary' in "The Far Side"'s Gary Larsen's given-name is short for 'Yonggary'.

#monsterdon
#Reptilian1999
#Yonggary1999

There should be a Yongarry float in the Macys parade.

Right?

I said, RIGHT?

#Monsterdon

And so they fucked off to a deserted island.

Thanks @Taweret for hosting!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon They're really setting them selves up for a sequel here.

Imagine being that optimistic.

"Where are they taking him?"
"To the pound."

Remember folks, don't BUY your YoungGary: ADOPT!

#Monsterdon #Reptilian

They're taking him to Puerto Rico?
#Monsterdon

So the monster was the good guy after all?

I mean, fair. All the men in this movie were awful

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

oh wait the nuclear bomber was still on its way to nuke LA so we have to tell it to cancel its nuclear attack. we get some "tension" as we yell the abort code but there's interference so we don't know if the pilot heard it but then we learn he heard it so LA gets to live another day.

#monsterdon

The aliens are so matter-of-fact about Yonggary turning against them

maybe they don't have emotion on their planet

#Monsterdon #Reptilian1999 #Yonggary1999

These aliens are such wimps. They should stick around and destroy everything.

#Monsterdon

Oh boy. They. Uh. They thought they were starting a kaiju franchise w/ this Yonggary, eh? #Monsterdon