i'm home! tuning into #monsterdon which is already in progress. looks like they're just approaching the mysterious island now?

I think they're going to set a world record in that old balloon for distance and time aloft

#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

@Taweret I swear to god if one of you asks "are we at the island yet" again I am turning this balloon around

#Monsterdon

So I guess it's a gas balloon, not hot air?

I guess that's why they kept it ready to fly for days. #Monsterdon

Judging by this film, it's a miracle anyone won the Civil War

#monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

so when do we eat the confederate guy? #monsterdon

"This was the only control we had!" says the Confederate soldier, who was only allowed to exist because he knew how to operate this, the only control they had.

#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

If this was an actual hot air balloon, that's where the heat source would be. And this guy would NOT come back with eyebrows, hair, etc. #monsterdon

"This was the only control we had!"

So instead of trying to get it back in working order, I'm gonna throw it out of the balloon! There! #Monsterdon

@Newpa_Hasai Accent guy said they were heading west #monsterdon

#monsterdon New fear unlocked

Ok. So, gas-filled balloons were a thing in the Civil War times. #Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

"HARDER"

That's what she said!

#monsterdon
#mysteriousisland

If they crossed america in 4 days what is the air speed velocity of a laiden balloon?
#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

cheap-ass incompetent confederate manufacturing

#monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

I wonder what compositing technique is used for this background. It looks good enough to be chroma key? It's got a Real Look to it

#Monsterdon

@paco I wonder this #monsterdon

I grew up in Alabama and let me tell y'all that guy's accent is right vexing.

#monsterdon

so four days without water would be real bad tho

#monsterdon

The audience is wondering that as well movie. CAN YOU PICK UP THE PACE!?

#monsterdon

"It's been four days."

About time to eat the Confederate, right? #Monsterdon

What is keeping this balloon up!? #monsterdon

Where do they poo in that thing? #monsterdon

“Finally, the Earth disappeared from our view.”

This balloon is a space ship!

#Monsterdon

In grad school for my journalism degree they made us take a history of news in the US class and that course spends like a week talking about how weird the New York Herald was. #monsterdon

what the fuck kind of accent is that??

#monsterdon

What's your crypto password? #monsterdon

Gideon Spillit. I finally have a name for my Fallen London alt account #monsterdon

Oh look, they have Elven biscuits for their quest.

#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

Heck yeah smack Johnny Reb in the head with that ballast

#monsterdon

Yes yes. More killing Confederates plz. Sure I want to see some giant chickens, but I don't mind kicking Johnny Reb's ass.
#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

Atrocious Balloonmanship!

#monsterdon

@moira@mastodon.murkworks.net Looks like it has barely enough buoyancy to get off the ground, much less soaked in rain with a few passengers!

#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

Y'know, that's not a bad composite shot with the balloon in the courtyard.

#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

I'd have called it Mysterious Balloon.

#Monsterdon

no one ESCAPES from Confederate Stalag thirTEEN

#monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

This is actually pretty nice for a POW camp. If it's by a lake, You could probably charge to stay there now.
#monsterdon

seems like that plan would have failed if they had walked down the stairs single file like normal people

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon oh no this is their plan A????

I'm ready for the monsters.
#Monsterdon

I like how the one man got captured in full dress uniform.

#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

Made it 5 years without COVID. And ONLY 5.

Hoping to make it to the end of #Monsterdon and… uh why are we in the Civil War? Is my brain okay?

#Monsterdon is this a prequel for Hogan's Heroes?

"Yeah, just ein....ein luftballon. I'm sorry, it's not a very good song."

"What if we add...more balloons?"

#monsterdon

what is... he doing to those stairs...?
#monsterdon

You know you'd be tempted to shoot the balloon

Why is nobody shooting the balloon

#Monsterdon

Is it just me, or is this graded too darkly? I guess it's a storm sequence, so hopefully it's just the one bit.

#Monsterdon

"The Civil War was less than a hundred years ago, how hard can it be to get the hairstyles right?" —this movie

#Monsterdon

since my schtick for this movie is "not liking jules verne movies," the opening credits at least share the qualities of what this movie is likely to be: interminably long, loud, and without much happening in it #monsterdon

@Taweret Bernard Herrmann soundtrack!!

#monsterdon

And we’re off, and the score has kicked in immediately with some big bras, timpany, and cymbals. I have high hopes for the “Superdynamation”. #monsterdon

Oh it got better. Now it's prune juice.
#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

man, pollution was bad in the 60s

#monsterdon

Fun fact: Virginia isn't an island.

#Monsterdon

I hope someone gets to eff off into this lava lamp ocean sometime #monsterdon

Credits guys got paid per-font, apparently. #Monsterdon

oh god SYPERDYNAMATION that's what I shoulda gone with not stop motion xD

#monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

Appropriately foreboding music for the opening credits!

#Monsterdon

Jules Verne’s Mysterious Island is set in a sea of gasoline. #Monsterdon

weirdly star trek music sign also?

wave motion sign?

there were so many signs warning us about this movie

#monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

@diazona @jonny It’s like a divide-by-zero situation. Or, one might say, divide-by-Nemo #Monsterdon

So I guess the giant crab in tonight's #Monsterdon was cancer paguras, 'edible crab' or 'brown crab'.

I don't know my crab species and I don't eat them either, so I had to look it up. Prolly everyone else already knew it

https://www.marinespecies.org/aphia.php?p=image&tid=107276&pic=34506

well that movie sure ends, huh #monsterdon

so apparently Atlantis is off the coast of New Zealand? #monsterdon

@jonny Now reading the wikipedia page and we were denied a dog named Top! #monsterdon

@forestine @Crazypedia I think it can be inferred that the pirates sunk their ship but you have to work on it

#monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

@moira Union captain: black hair and beard. Union soldier heartthrob: looked sort of like Elvis, clean-shaven. Union good soldier: black. Confederate soldier: square face, sandy blond. Reporter: Lean and dirty blond. Lady Whatsis: British accent. Young woman: indeterminate accent, good thighs. Captain Nemo: dark-skinned (India Indian), white hair & beard. #Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland1961

@Crazypedia they were on their way to Marseilles but idk why it would be just two ladies and the dead captain. also, don't think about the geography too much #Monsterdon

Did we ever get an explanation with how the two ladies ended up on that island? #Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

Also there's an adaptation from the USSR! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon According to wikipedia there have been nine (9) film adaptations of this Jules Vernes story. Some film nerd somewhere got a doctorate studying adaptations of this one story.

anyway good job everybody and thanks to @Taweret for hosting as always

#monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

husband requested we follow up The Mysterious Island with "Jason and the Argonauts" so I guess I'm watching that now too!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon I am mildly disappointed that Nemo didn't make it.

For those of you scrolling through your timeline, you're about to hit a big mass of Monsterdon postings about Mysterious Island (1961).

Should you not wish to read through them, here's how to filter them out, at least on the web browser:
1) right click on the gears & open in a new tab
2) choose "Filters" then "Add New Filter"
3) give the filter a title, check all boxes under contexts, choose hide completely and put "#Monsterdon" in the keyword box.
4) Click on "Save New Filter"

... and you're done.

A big thank you to @Taweret for hosting tonight's #Monsterdon, giant creatures, attempted Verneverse, endless dialog and exploding volcanoes all.

Raw oysters on the half shell
Steamed crab legs
Salad of tropical fruits*
Roast chicken
Wild rice with bamboo shoots*
Root vegetables fried in chicken fat*
Goat milk ice cream with honey

*These are speculative, but I think they're within reason

#Monsterdon

@moira They had all that fighting in the basket of the balloon, and then later when the captain wanted to be in charge, and then, nada #monsterdon

@Zerofactorial indeed! hence "white guys." the lady whatshername had more personality than the rest of them combined.

#monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

@trixter And pretty darn realistic! What, did they use the ship from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride? #Monsterdon

I remember being much more enthused about this film when I was a pre-teen. Honestly, the book it's based on isn't much better, and it's been the basis of many other films.

And - holy shit - apparently there's a 2005 film loosely based on the novel with *Patrick Stewart* as Captain Nemo.

#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

@oliphant He's scared of sharks and maritime electrical batteries, that's all #monsterdon

Mysterious Island and the Wizard of Oz. What other films start with escape by hot air balloon? #Monsterdon

For a group #Monsterdon watch, I think I need an additional screen or some overlay software that can follow the hashtag so we can watch the film and the snark at the same time (on my living room TV).

🦖 MONSTERDON GOODBYE! 🎞️

Thank you
@Taweret for this mysterious adventure
and @cheribaker for the Bingo card ("Ouch!" 😆)

And to the Real Time Film Analysis Squad. Kinda hard to root for the humans in this one.

🚨 Get your #monsterdon gear! Long sleeve shirts for Fall! Mugs for Giant Chicken broth!

https://thediremushrump.threadless.com/designs/monsterdon-doodles-color

@moira That’s really accurate. #Monsterdon

Nemo's only regret was not inventing that giant can of Old Bay.

#Monsterdon

also apparently the translations that existed prior to 2001 were very incomplete?
#monsterdon

Was the fact that they were Civil War soldiers important at all? #Monsterdon

@fluffy Nemo kept giving them supplies. Part of the Mystery on #MysteriousIsland1961 #Monsterdon

@paco how many times do I have to tell you? You drink the beer and you snort the cocaine. #Monsterdon

it's like verne and wells (and shelly for Frankenstein) were the only acceptable SF authors so for decades the only sf movies you could make had to at least pretend to be their shit

#monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

@fluffy YES my sister and I were saying keep the basket, let the balloon go, but the people in the movie couldn't hear us. #Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland1961

#Monsterdon The volcano is imminently going to blow up and Nemo has time to train them in all kinds of novel tech and skills. But first, drinks!

so in the original book apparently there is more of a story where they end up setting up shop on the island and there is more of a consistent plot with nemo but there are no giant animals???? #monsterdon

Do Herbert and Elena get married after all? Then split up after a couple of years when they realize they no longer feel the spark they felt among megafauna? That's what the audience is entitled to find out #monsterdon

""We returned to the civilized world"

Well that wouldn't be the world of the 19th Century my friend so was there a wormhole in this plot too?
How many moons do you see?

We could have had giant chickens....

#monsterdon

i mean as good as the sfx were i think it's the _dullest_ movie we've watched

i mean i wouldn't swear to that because of immediacy bias but dang i'm sleepy

#monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

definitely need more stop motion, less sleepy build shit on the island survival

#monsterdon #MysteriousIsland