just as well women washed up on a beach so your goats could be milked.....

#monsterdon

How disappointing that the cave contains a normal number of normal sized spiders. #Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

This.... Nemo... with his.... submarine, do you call it?

Was he under the water?

Perhaps several thousand leagues under it?

🤔 :thinkhappy: :thonking: :eyethink:

#monsterdon

A war kink? I mean okay.

#Monsterdon

Almost forgot!! Check it out!!

#Monsterdon

@yatsu I would have looked for drinkable water first, but they found it eventually, after building on the wrong side of the island. #Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland1961

It’s almost like someone packed that chest just for them.

Dun-dun-dun!

#Monsterdon

Chekhov's Care package. #monsterdon

A balloon, a raft, some gear, there sure is a lot of stuff washing up on shore. Over the last couple of years there should be hundreds of loot crates around here

#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

Jules Verne movies! Tedious men wandering through attractive landscapes while the musical score begs you to feel something. I wonder if the books are better. #Monsterdon

@Taweret Seems it would be easier to build a boat at the water's edge than in a cave up a cliff, but what do I know

#Monsterdon

lol, supplies wash up like they're in a video game

#monsterdon

@ramsey Yeah though I'm still holding out for giant chickens

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

It's actually a pee bottle

#monsterdon

there is way too much talking and walking in this movie, I feel like the Pirates are just a plotline too much for a single film.

#monsterdon

spooky scary skeletons

#monsterdon

the characters just walk around doing things with no apparent purpose. like nothing is driving the action

like, one of those, what do you call them. those things that drive a story forward so that things are compelling and make sense?

a plot. yeah, there isn't one of those

#monsterdon

It's a lizard you fucking wimp.

#Monsterdon

NOT AN IGUANA!

#monsterdon
#mysteriousisland

"Chains...a sword.....some Kinky people have been here!"

#monsterdon

why do we need to explore these caves tho?

#monsterdon

checks pulse of guy face-down in the water oh no he's dead #monsterdon

I'm having flashbacks of P. E.
#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

Lost ripped off a lot of this movie, didn't it?

#monsterdon

Oh to live in a time when there were unexplored islands of giant animals, but we long killed all those....

#monsterdon

Ginger and Mrs Howell have arrived on (insert name of any of the guys who I can not tell apart nor have I remembered the name of here)'s island.
#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

I like how he sarcastically calls them “gentlemen.” #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon I had a bad feeling about the prospects for the guy lying face down in the water.

And finally, after at least a week, they drink water.
#Monsterdon

"Where's the sailor. The one who was on our boat." That's a rather tender subject. Another slice anyone? #Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

@Bluedepth :ablobcatgooglymlemjumping: #Monsterdon

Here we go with the snooty English. Yup, it's a Verne story #monsterdon

"I am Lady Elaine Fairchild,"

and I'm a puppet on Mister Roger's Neighborhood. #Monsterdon

LADY ELAIN(a) FAIRCHILD!

#monsterdon #MisterRogersNeighborhood

Classic upper class indifference to a working man being dead

#monsterdon

The wreckage of a very drunken bachelorette party has washed ashore.
#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

most of us are americans' we have no idea where the one guy is fun. if you can figure out his accent, let us know

#monsterdon

Crabs, goats, and dames. The stranded on a mysterious island trifecta. Good on ya, lads. #Monsterdon

We go up the volcano with full bellies of crab, we go down the volcano and find movie starlets.

This is the life.

#Monsterdon

why aren't the babes giant too #monsterdon

Goats now? First crab dinner now gyros?
#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

it's the literary style of ancient greek histories before they had invented the concept of "literary form." things happen and there is no need to comment upon them or make them form "a narrative" as long as the individual things happening are like super crazy and weird #monsterdon

TWO hot girls?

#monsterdon
#mysteriousisland

To be fair, a volcano with actual red lava in the caldera is unusual.

#monsterdon

NOW WE ARE TALKING

#monsterdon

Bring out the giant goats, you cowards. #Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

#Monsterdon (6 months later) "I am so sick of goat cheese, goat milk, goat meat..."

@overholt Ha it’s hydrogen. Hydrogen air travel! We shoulda stuck with that, like electric cars #Monsterdon

"...huh, this volcano is full of lava"
"What did you think it would be full of?"
<awkward silence>

#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

yes, I had a small cameo role in this film #monsterdon

Verne sure loved his volcanoes, come to think. #monsterdon

the problem with all the jules verne movies is that they are just a series of things happening with extremely vague connection to one another and then they are rescued the end #monsterdon

Hey, check out that pyroclastic flow, guys! #monsterdon

So far the biggest mystery here for me is why the Confederate soldier has the same accent as all the Canadian characters on South Park #Monsterdon

I sure hope they next big animal tries to eat one of the interchangeable white guys next.
#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

The crab monster would have attacked Johnny Reb first, but then it would have had to speak through his ghost’s weird voice.
#monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

@srol historically accurate then #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🏝️ 🐝 🦀 🦪 🐦 😱

So what kind of crab actor is this?

i don't need no fucking characterization i need more giant animals #monsterdon

there's probably a crab research Dharma station nearby

#monsterdon

Hmm. I haven't had crab in ages. I know what I have to have soon. Maybe I can get to Red Lobster before they all close.
#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

also, a) he lived! and b) he lived to eat the crab that tried to get him! congrats to guy who's name i never did catch. #monsterdon

Not my wife theorizing how to boil a giant crab #monsterdon

Is this movie just gonna be them eating everything on the island? #monsterdon

amazingly the black guy survived

#monsterdon

A crab boil, a hoedown, what's better than this, fellas

#Monsterdon

Men, who brought the Old Bay seasoning? What? #monsterdon

WORLD'S BIGGEST CRAB STEW

Also, props for not actually killing the black guy first.

YET.

#Monsterdon

Circle around and hit it where its claws AREN'T.

#monsterdon

oh the black dude didn't already die, good

#monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

ah. RIP only black guy in the movie which ostensibly stars civil war soldiers. #monsterdon

GIANT ENEMY CRAB

#Monsterdon

That fallen tree bridge looks very familiar - maybe a homage to King Kong?

#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

It's so hard to buy these men as from the 19th century. Everything I know about film is screaming they're actually like 1950s rocket scientists or astronauts or something. #monsterdon

@Taweret the special effects aren’t bad! Either that or i need to clean my glasses #monsterdon

ok that big log is very king kong #monsterdon

I've been taking care of a sick kid this evening so I have not been able to #Monsterdon. But at least it's one I've seen before!

Birb
Two birb
#Monsterdon
#MysteriousIsland

those are just normal birds tho

#monsterdon

Penfield is being played by Percy Herbert, a British actor, so that's Cockney Johnny Reb.

#Monsterdon

Mr. Spillit is a good cook name
#monsterdon

"...gentlemen, we're going to climb that."
"That volcano?"
"Yep"
"The one that's smoking."
"Yep"
"ummmm ... can we maybe do something else?"

#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

Mount Doom is very realistic. #Monsterdon

We've landed in the MATTE PAINTING ARCHIPELAGO! #Monsterdon

the guy with the greaser hair keeps making me think they're going to break into a rock and roll dance number #monsterdon

So seaweed was poison back then #monsterdon

this movie will redeem itself if they start anthropomorphizing the giant oysters and stuff right the hell now and ideally in a musical number where they clap their shells together like castanets #monsterdon

@Taweret I can tell the Confederate when he talks because I still not over that accent

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Yes, let's find who's ever blowing that damn horn!

i looked it up and the southern is i believe the one played by an english actor who learned a "southern" accent by watching some other movie a bunch of times

#monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

those birds are kinda transparent in front of the matte painting #Monsterdon

Fundamentally, the story problem with “this mode of transport will take us wherever no matter what we do” is the “no matter what we do” part–if the character’s decisions have no impact, it’s barely a story. You need to have some character moments, and this movie might not know how to do those. #monsterdon

"c'mon young man, eat my fresh sea meat..."

#monsterdon

finally

you know, Lost opened on the island. you didn't have to slog through 20 mins of bullcrap first

just saying

#monsterdon

Mon dieu, even the seagulls are greenscreened.

#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

And the balloon drags them over a cliff. #Monsterdon

The air bladder is quite slack now....

#monsterdon

Okay I get that they need events to explain how they cross america and half an ocean before getting to monster island. But I am already tired of this balloon ride.
#Monsterdon #MysteriousIsland

Picture the stage hands off screen throwing buckets of water at the actors

#monsterdon