@moira

but it comes with a free frogurt!

#Monsterdon

That “let’s have the man hold onto the girl” by the douche bro sidekick was so over the top.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast1978

@bluecaller Are we watching the same movie? I saw the back of the woman who had her top off at the pool party, but that was it.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Is our scrawny cop wearing shoulder pads?
#monsterdon

And... movie hits th halfway mark #monsterdon

Whoa! Watch it round those two! #monsterdon

I don't think there's tobacco in that sheriff's cigar. #monsterdon

@ricci "That's bad."

#monsterdon #laserblast

Looks like the body count for all the people this movie wants us to hate is about to start mounting.

#monsterdon #laserblast

'Quick, Froggy! pluck your magic twanger!!!'

#monsterdon

I think the whole movie is a metaphor about Billy struggling with his sexuality.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

#Monsterdon given this movie's decade, I'll be damned if the care explosion doesn't get blamed on the commies

what

did yall see that weird cut between shots or was it just me

was i falling asleep

#monsterdon

ah laserblasted the sheriff

but i did not laserblasted the deputies

#monsterdon #laserblast

Why is the sheriff an extra from Goodfellas. #monsterdon

Aw he is very concerned about his partner's stomach lining.

#Monsterdon

hey, at least the cops are concerned about their health. #monsterdon

PLEASE stop trying to be funny.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👦 🔦 🚀 💥👽 🔦 🚀 💥👾 😱

but now I recognize and cannot place the actor playing the sheriff

The seduction of the alien gun.
"Touch me Billy. Reach up inside of me. Use me."
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Smoking *tobacco*, too. Now we just need coffee.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Apparently Billy really needs the laser cos he sure can't fight. I guess it helped neither of his opponents could either, and imagine being duffed by a tennis racket.

#monsterdon

Like, I think the film wants us to see this as Billy's start of darkness, but that seemed like a pretty measured response to a danger to the community.

#Monsterdon

This is the most titties I've seen in a PG movie

#monsterdon

Froggy working too hard. #Monsterdon

yayyyy zombie Billy laser blasts some things

More of this please

#Monsterdon

Aaaaaaand murderblast! Oh, dang. The dude got away. #monsterdon #laserblast

Important update: I have a problem in that I made more dipping sauce than dippable items

#Monsterdon

@gnomon

No. No, he does not. #monsterdon

Mmmm, breakfast tamale. Yes please.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👦 🔦 🚀 💥👽 🔦 🚀 💥👾 😱

I guess I just can't tell 70s shirtless dudes apart

Big Mood...like if I were there I would laserblast the hell outra that place too at this point #Monsterdon

why was that 40 year old man hanging out with the kids anyway #monsterdon

How many different people were involved in this soundtrack?

#Monsterdon

@moira Oh god, my insurance company isn't going to believe this...
#Monsterdon

So is he dreaming or sleepwalking?

I guess sleepwaking? What is happening?

#Monsterdon

at least in Critters Eddie deezen was only on screen for a couple of minutes and got killed off

#Monsterdon

This synth knows DRAMA, baby

#Monsterdon

you know youre a sad fuck if you get bullied and beat up by the annoying nerd from wargames

#monsterdon

And that's a wrap. G'night everyone. #Monsterdon #Laserblast

Whee! Now that was a car blowin' up. Blowed up real good!

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

I feel like these two cops were the inspiration for Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

#Monsterdon
#Laserblast

hey! he both exploded the car, AND exploded the car of two nasty jackasses who deserve it! APPROVE. #monsterdon

Oh, *now* the car explodes!

They really don't build 'em like they used to...

#monsterdon

Anyway, here comes an extended series of laser blasts punctuated by filler.

#Monsterdon

Oh right I forgot Eddie Deezen and his jock friend are WORST.
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

He hates cars! #monsterdon

I was about to say "I wonder what the laser blaster is up to" but, uh, that's quite an answer

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Was that an AMC Gremlin? #Monsterdon #LaserBlast

ALIENS NUKED MY BUICK!

#monsterdon #laserblast

Finally! The movie title thing happened!
#Monsterdon

this makeup makes you even worse an actor billy
#monsterdon

The most plausible explanation for that scene is that she did somehow kill that dude with the tennis racket. #Monsterdon

@paco I am waiting to see a Mountain Dew and Dr. Pepper

#monsterdon

yeah, you drink a half gallon of milk right before bed that's what is going to happen, duh.

#monsterdon

Okay. This is a cool mirror shot with the titular character (the laserblaster) in the shot.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast1978

At least we had a clear Bechdel pass with her talking to the other woman about party attendance and how it relates to having a pool?

#Monsterdon

@brooke Yes! I can feel it! #monsterdon

hot damn
#monsterdon

"They tell me cake is bad for me. What about radiation?"
"What about it?" #Monsterdon #laserblast

#Monsterdon You see Billy, If you aren’t horny, you have wet dreams. We’ll have to burn the sheets now.

DUSTBUSTER AHOY

#monsterdon #laserblast

Get blasted! #monsterdon

Forgot to fill up his headlight fluid :kaboom:

#monsterdon #Laserblast #mst3k

Is the character growth arc for our protagonist Billy here about how he learns how to eventually button up a shirt?

#monsterdon

omg! You did nothing wrong, lady! They literally tried to assault you! #monsterdon

"Someone chose to spend the money to remaster THIS."

#SplendaDaddy on Laserblast (1978) for #Monsterdon

@jonny "plot", haha

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

This is what happens when you promise the executive producer 90 minutes and you only have 45.

the most effective part of this film?

The music.

We are making a Dark Decision (tm) #monsterdon

lol @ Laserblaster stranding ominously on the cliff with his alien toys

#Monsterdon

"So why make it?!"

"We already paid for the stop motion."

#monsterdon #laserblast

I was about to say Kathy should hit them and then she did.
#Monsterdon

why did they make us watch billy having a wet dream

#monsterdon

#monsterdon this movie was made back in the days when all the sodas could be in a movie; it didn't have to be a Coke movie or a Pepsi movie.

Apparently they got all the sodas for product placement. Or, none. Pepsi, Coke, AND 7-Up?
#monsterdon

"I'LL KILL YOU!" -said with a tennis racket #monsterdon

uhhh no wonder this guy always looks eepy, he's got some fucked up sleep
#monsterdon

@ricci We should be so lucky it goes this way #monsterdon

These people are not about defensive retreats.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast1978

Does Billy get midnight urges for milk? #Monsterdon

if those bozos cause some laser blasting to happen, they can be forgiven for their inclusion in the plot #monsterdon

I don't think they showed enough people splashing each other in the pool. #Monsterdon #laserblast

#Monsterdon 👦 🔦 🚀 💥👽 🔦 🚀 💥👾 😱

she has to apologize to billy for whacking the guy in the face with a tennis racket so he wouldn't beat billy up, because f****** it.

"See, if we cast actual 15 year olds, then this movie becomes a tragedy and way too dark for our audience for handle, plus we'll get busted for the inevitable titty shots. But if we make the characters the age of their actors, then it's just sadness about white alienation and the abandonment of small-town America in the 1970s and nobody wants that either."

#monsterdon #laserblast

@wohali@timeloop.cafe @sidd_harth0_5h4h@tenforward.social thank you for the morale boost Ruby

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Pacing? What's that?

Pacing in film is the deliberate control of time, rhythm, and forward momentum throughout a film’s duration

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou AND *SHE'S* SORRY ABOUT IT.
#monsterdon

now is going after revenge and new age music
#monsterdon

The combat choreography was done by Muppets
#Monsterdon #LaserBlast

she got attacked, and she's apologizing to him? the 70s toxic masculinity, it burns, it burns... #monsterdon

#monsterdon the nerd guy keeps reminding me of KRAZAM. I can't help laughing at the fight scene.

"you jerks stay here imma get my laser"

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Maybe somebody should go tell Fran 'Happy Birthday'?

#Monsterdon So I'm guessing that no one is going to call the police for this horrific attempt at a crime?

"get off of me you stupid ho" #monsterdon

That dweeb kept getting pushed into the couch lol.

Meanwhile this girl should NOT be trying to cover for those assholes, damn.

#Monsterdon

There was a fight

Why? Who knows

can I blame the 70's

#Monsterdon

I wish they'd get back to those stop-motion guys #monsterdon

They were landing some serious body blows before they were frightened off by the sideways slap of a tennis racket. #monsterdon