All movie long this fucking guy won’t wear a shirt and now he’s a big old hurry to put one on? #Monsterdon

That was a hilarious joke about Star Wars.

#Monsterdon

"Kid's nuts, seen Star Wars five times."

Pure DSM-IV, that. #monsterdon

@riedlr oof too real

#monsterdon #laserblast

I wonder if there's ever an explanation for Deputy Dawg not lighting his cigar.

#monsterdon

"can I get dressed now?"

Yes.

YES BILLY YOU CAN. PLEASE GET DRESSED ALREADY

#Monsterdon

Roddy McDowall!? Shame on you for being in this. #Monsterdon #Laserblast

They had at least a halfway competent makeup artist for this.

#monsterdon

Why does Billy have a New York accent now?
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

#Monsterdon 👦 🔦 🚀 💥👽 🔦 🚀 💥👾 😱

OBVS Roddy plays the doctor

Roddy McDowell examining the end of his career #monsterdon

"Eddie, have you ever been tested for an STD?"
#monsterdon

"Well, actually, I'm an expert in lightning."

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

we haven’t shot close-ups, let’s do that as awkwardly as possible #Monsterdon

#monsterdon "I know lightning when I see it!"

I sure as fuck hope the sexual assault charges on that little puke come out

#Monsterdon

Maybe it's just the lighting and the cast and their acting and the writing and the blocking, but this has a '1970s "adult" movie with the sex-scenes removed' feel about it.

#monsterdon

BILLY HAS LEARNED TO USE BUTTONS! That laser gun made him smarter.
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Ok but that tease shirt was way ahead of its time. #Monsterdon

"That was the most truth-in-advertising that I've EVER seen on a t-shirt." #SplendaDaddy
#Monsterdon

"What? Who'd want to blow up the abuser's car? I can't imagine!" #monsterdon

Wait, so, they make them wait on a bench outside like they're waiting for the vice-principal?

#monsterdon #laserblast

Don't name drop a better movie #monsterdon #starwars

"tease shirt"
sir, that is a woman who would crush you to death before you even looked at her first button, please do not cat call her. #monsterdon

Billy looks an awful lot like Crazy Frog

#Monsterdon

Billy could have just worn a shirt under that giant amulet, but instead he's getting a nice big burn on his sternum. Well, we all make sacrifices for fashion.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

What is it with people eating off of other peoples food and silverware?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👦 🔦 🚀 💥👽 🔦 🚀 💥👾 😱

I think those are curve-billed thrashers singing in the background

lmao
that
shirt
#monsterdon

Dr. Melon! Played by Rodd McDowall? #monsterdon

Spouse’s mom went to school with the sheriff with the cigar! #Monsterdon

that guy got the munchies still
#monsterdon

yes, he buttoned his shirt--because he has something to hide! So subtle! #monsterdon

Wait, did the film just turn into Porky's? Augh

#monsterdon

"Oh my god Billy, it's bigger! And you spilled some solder on it!"
#Monsterdon

"My god, Billy! It's bigger!"

....that's what she said.

#monsterdon

@LingLass

Lots of places in California got migration in from Texas and the Deep South during the 1930s and '40s….

#monsterdon

Little bit of red to giant gross wound, anyone else having Requiem for Dream flashbacks?

#Monsterdon

We're only HALFWAY folks

#monsterdon

@overholt There's always the aliens though

#Monsterdon

Good, I'm happy you 'understand',

now take that frickin cigar out of your mouth and keep it out

#Monsterdon

"My god Billy, it's bigger."

#monsterdon

@ricci [whimpers in confusion]

"...can I go now?"

#monsterdon #laserblast

Ugh - more WEIRD Nipple s**t!

#monsterdon

"Lump? It's just my third nipple"
#monsterdon

Stop staring at me, movie

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon men would rather blast lasers than go to the doctor when their girlfriend complains about the growth on their chests

Doctor Mellon?

OK.

#monsterdon

The suit is a metonymy for nasty city elites as you can tell by the music and hair.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Yeah, "Seal off the town" feels like a thing a rural sheriff's office could do.

Finally, enough of this guy's bare chest

#Monsterdon

@moira but the sprinkles have potassium sorbate!

#Monsterdon

He's gonna need to go in for a mid-chest-ogram

#monsterdon #laserblast

Seal the town! With only your two idiot cop employees! #monsterdon #laserblast

"My God Billy, it's bigger!"

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Kinda fucking sherriffs office has enough manpower to shut down movement in a whole ass town?

#Monsterdon

Oh, he's actually buttoning it up this time!
#Monsterdon

ayyyyy he buttoned his shirt

oh yikes

guess that's why 🥴
#monsterdon

Kid stuff, like blowing up cars in enormous spectacular explosions

Sure

#Monsterdon

I bet Fed Guy uses a LOT of hairspray to get that look. #Monsterdon #Laserblast

#Monsterdon i just saw him button his shirt! finally

New shirt alert! With buttons.

#monsterdon

@ricci That's good!

#monsterdon #laserblast

HE FOUND A DAMN SHIRT.

#monsterdon

Me: Hahah, I got you! Best prank ever!!!
Friend: You blew up my CAR!!!!!!
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon ah yes, those normal teen pranks of domestic terrorism

@moira But it comes with sprinkles!

#Monsterdon

Well that's easy, ain't been no news outta this town since, well... ever!

#monsterdon #laserblast

Car blowing up is “just kids stuff” ?! #Monsterdon

Nothin' unusual. Had a car blow up, but that's just the usual kids' stuff.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Finally - a shirt with working buttons

#monsterdon
#Laserblast

"Also I want a note that lists five things you've done in the last week. Understood?" #monsterdon

Ah, I had a manual typewriter. An old Underwood. Weighed about a ton, black cast iron. Good ol tickety tick tick DING

#Monsterdon #LaserBlast

Imagine if this had gotten a sequel?
The Turtle Empire Strikes Back.
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Wait is the guy in the suit the director? why is he giving stage directions?

#Monsterdon

How many accents does this town have? #Monsterdon

Someone does not respect thorough records.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast1978

Your car probably burns leaded gas and you're worried about a tamale in the morning?

#monsterdon

The card he handed him just said "please be nice to me :(:(:(" on it. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon desk-sitting power games :D

"Won't you sit down sir, in this chair with your back towards me and facing away from me so I can clobber you in the skull?"

#monsterdon

@ricci "That's bad."

#monsterdon #laserblast

Oh, good. The mysterious dude in the suit. Surely he has some exposition in that briefcase. #monsterdon #laserblast

That's a realistic depiction of small town cops out in middle of fucking nowhere

#monsterdon

Psychic paper. Could be a Timelord. #Monsterdon #Laserblast

@Zerofactorial Oh, no, I don't even want to know about what that says about the hollywood industry...

(I think you might be right, minus maybe the stepford wives, but that is an outlier that shouldn't be counted)

#Monsterdon

Oh. It's now his Precious. #Monsterdon

Aye! It's Mort Metzger from Murder she Wrote #monsterdon

"what can i do for you fella?"
find me a different movie, please.
#monsterdon

"...name's Harry, Clean Harry."

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

I bet his shirt will be open again after this. #monsterdon

1, 2 and 3

#Monsterdon

RIP Eddie Deezen's car.
It's clearly his car, why else would the jock hang out with him but to steal his keys and go joy riding?
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Conspiracy movie, I forgot about this part TBH
#monsterdon

@bstacey https://xkcd.com/140/

#Monsterdon

"What are you doing, typing away a novel?" No, she's writing Spirk fic for her fan zine. Obviously.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

"Incel County"?

Oh, "Noel" County

#Monsterdon

@ricci Oo! That's good!

#monsterdon #laserblast

Will sheriff ever light this damn cigar?
#monsterdon

It's "Tucker and Dale versus burrito."
#monsterdon