the most effective part of this film?

The music.

We are making a Dark Decision (tm) #monsterdon

lol @ Laserblaster stranding ominously on the cliff with his alien toys

#Monsterdon

"So why make it?!"

"We already paid for the stop motion."

#monsterdon #laserblast

I was about to say Kathy should hit them and then she did.
#Monsterdon

why did they make us watch billy having a wet dream

#monsterdon

#monsterdon this movie was made back in the days when all the sodas could be in a movie; it didn't have to be a Coke movie or a Pepsi movie.

Apparently they got all the sodas for product placement. Or, none. Pepsi, Coke, AND 7-Up?
#monsterdon

"I'LL KILL YOU!" -said with a tennis racket #monsterdon

uhhh no wonder this guy always looks eepy, he's got some fucked up sleep
#monsterdon

@ricci We should be so lucky it goes this way #monsterdon

These people are not about defensive retreats.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast1978

if those bozos cause some laser blasting to happen, they can be forgiven for their inclusion in the plot #monsterdon

I don't think they showed enough people splashing each other in the pool. #Monsterdon #laserblast

#Monsterdon 👦 🔦 🚀 💥👽 🔦 🚀 💥👾 😱

she has to apologize to billy for whacking the guy in the face with a tennis racket so he wouldn't beat billy up, because f****** it.

"See, if we cast actual 15 year olds, then this movie becomes a tragedy and way too dark for our audience for handle, plus we'll get busted for the inevitable titty shots. But if we make the characters the age of their actors, then it's just sadness about white alienation and the abandonment of small-town America in the 1970s and nobody wants that either."

#monsterdon #laserblast

@wohali@timeloop.cafe @sidd_harth0_5h4h@tenforward.social thank you for the morale boost Ruby

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Pacing? What's that?

Pacing in film is the deliberate control of time, rhythm, and forward momentum throughout a film’s duration

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou AND *SHE'S* SORRY ABOUT IT.
#monsterdon

now is going after revenge and new age music
#monsterdon

The combat choreography was done by Muppets
#Monsterdon #LaserBlast

she got attacked, and she's apologizing to him? the 70s toxic masculinity, it burns, it burns... #monsterdon

#monsterdon the nerd guy keeps reminding me of KRAZAM. I can't help laughing at the fight scene.

"you jerks stay here imma get my laser"

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Maybe somebody should go tell Fran 'Happy Birthday'?

#Monsterdon So I'm guessing that no one is going to call the police for this horrific attempt at a crime?

"get off of me you stupid ho" #monsterdon

There was a fight

Why? Who knows

can I blame the 70's

#Monsterdon

That dweeb kept getting pushed into the couch lol.

Meanwhile this girl should NOT be trying to cover for those assholes, damn.

#Monsterdon

I wish they'd get back to those stop-motion guys #monsterdon

They were landing some serious body blows before they were frightened off by the sideways slap of a tennis racket. #monsterdon

Tennis racket ain't lethal unless it's in McEnroe's hand. #monsterdon #laserblast

#monsterdon good God,.all the people at this pool party look as bored as I am.

You know what your alien SF adventure needs? B-roll footage of a pool party that goes on forever.

#monsterdon #laserblast

"What's the minimum amount of sexual assault we need to tell this innocent teen laserblaster movie? Yeah, use more than that. More..." #monsterdon

Why couldn't Deezen go this crazy in Polar Express? I would have loved seeing the know it all kid flying around Santa's workshop like that!
#Monsterdon

god this is getting awkward
#monsterdon

Getting your ass kicked by Deezen. Also, his girlfriend has a helluva forehand. #Monsterdon

Not to bring down the energy but for young anthropologists out there, yes, this is a scarily accurate depiction of how sexual assault was commonly handled. Like, it's no big deal. It's just a thing. Right up to her apologizing for needing rescue.

#Monsterdon
#Laserblast

Two minutes after the nudity, there's your socially redeeming value, right there.

#monsterdon

MISTAH PATATA HEAD is a BULLY?!

Christ who was in charge of this movie's casting

#monsterdon #laserblast

That guy is having a blast being thrown on the couch again and again. #monsterdon

ah, so they're not just jerks they're serious creeps. #monsterdon

@socketwench Have you seen any cutoffs? I remember many cutoff jeans as swimwear. What is this - high class?

#Monsterdon

@Terencio Don't feel so bad. I think I missed that joke for decades. #Monsterdon

I feel sorry for Franney that she is not being harassed like all of her guests and also I feel sure that Franney's social insecurity must be a key part of the narrative.

#Monsterdon

@Taweret @apLundell at least they got in the pool eventually

#monsterdon

Debbie Downer is down in the dumps about the douche dudes at this dive.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast1978

#Monsterdon ohno

So he stashed the laser to go hang out with girls and then... failed to hang out with girls. #monsterdon #laserblast

Producer: Look we have to cut the budget for costumes by 50%. Who’s got ideas? #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Music for the pool party scene provided by local cover band Steely Dildo. #laserblast

Double oven? Somebody's dad worked at the mill.

#monsterdon

okay so

so

so

i know somebody whose house has that ground floor layout and now it's hilarious to me

#monsterdon #laserblast

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Is that one of those tuna and olive cakes with Miracle Whip frosting? #Monsterdon #laserblast

#Monsterdon 👦 🔦 🚀 💥👽 🔦 🚀 💥👾 😱

Does anyone know why we are being told the information in these scenes?

@wohali@timeloop.cafe Brown is better than the modern greige.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

"Mutual aid request for 4.50 - I need new buttons for my shirt"

#Monsterdon

Billy walks around the couple making out creepily to, apparently, check and see if it's Cathy!

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Thank you Eddie Deezen for being the one guy to not go shirtless.
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

For example, this whole pool party sequence is a mistake. Nothing is happening. No character development and no plot movement. #monsterdon

Needs more shag carpet for realism #monsterdon

I want to believe this type of character "person who thinks people only like them because of their pool" is fictional. I want to believe people with pools have no problems at all. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon

The casting call for this read.

Looking for teen agers must be at least 40 years old.

@RamenCatholic "using slang I just about understand! how dare you kids!" #Monsterdon

@apLundell beginning to think it was a dream

#monsterdon

I missed the first 30 minutes and just tuned in and it's been . . . 10 minutes of pool party?
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

it wouldn't be a 70s movie without some boobies and bikini girls, right?
#monsterdon

"look. we've agreed to provide a 90-minute film. We've got 15 minutes of aliens. Add in some teenage bikini shots, and topless bikini shots." #monsterdon

@OldRustBucket 🤔 Oh? #monsterdon who he with?

The cinematography of this film is just…hmm…how to describe it…non-existent.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast1978

I wonder how many movies have both Coke and Pepsi product placement shots in them. That may be a distinguishing feature of LASERBLAST, such as it is

#Monsterdon

The woman with the only actually "normal" body is shown eating her feelings. Thanks movie.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Ooooh, so literally no one knows how shirts work in this town. Got it.

This scene has all the interest and sex appeal of a diet soda left out in the sun since last Tuesday.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon In case anyone missed it I want to make sure everyone is aware that the filmmaker here had to have been _heavily_ influenced by the Coleman Francis school of filmmaking.

mmmm corded 120V amp at the poolside playing the radio through no visible speaker

#monsterdon

What are the cops up to?
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon That’s a waterlogged sausage party. Bleh. But at least we have a lovely sad lesbian angle now.

Social commentary. Nice. #Monsterdon

cake looks terrible btw

#Monsterdon

okay they're talking about her birthday party and we got her name and her friends and her social anxiety disorder and also cake. i think that's a minimal pass

#monsterdon #laserblast

Billy's too cool for the pool #Monsterdon

I like cake

#Monsterdon

Funny. I ran out of pools just last week. #Monsterdon

This nerdy guy has played in every film from here to everywhere and I don't know his name! He's def someone's nephew. #monsterdon

i think these girls should take the cake and leave the set in their rear-view mirror. #monsterdon

"Watcha thinkin about, Billy?"

"Oh, you know, just laser stuff"

#Monsterdon

(btw we are at laser blast count: 10)

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Sir Billy Hug And Kiss. Not going to be killed immediately. They don’t seem to understand the word “horny”. Probably are Ken and Barbie’s. LOL.

@Htaggert And we have a qualifying conversation! #monsterdon

#monsterdon so… something is eventually going to happen, right?

Right?

The movie wants us to believe these are teens? #monsterdon

LASER BLAST --COMING SOON

#monsterdon

Wow. So this is what the mean kids are up to.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast1978

70s kids love listening to 12-bar blues played over and over again

#monsterdon

Billy can't can't change to his suit to swim. The jeans are part of his anatomy.

#Monsterdon #LaserBlast

Ah, the pre-sunscreen era. Now I understand why everyone is 37.

#monsterdon

This whole party looks like someone's last known photo

#Monsterdon

This party music is groovy!

#monsterdon