Sorry about the film.

Here's a picture of Ruby that will help the film go faster.

also for @sidd_harth0_5h4h
#monsterdon

Tennis racket ain't lethal unless it's in McEnroe's hand. #monsterdon #laserblast

#monsterdon good God,.all the people at this pool party look as bored as I am.

Why couldn't Deezen go this crazy in Polar Express? I would have loved seeing the know it all kid flying around Santa's workshop like that!
#Monsterdon

"What's the minimum amount of sexual assault we need to tell this innocent teen laserblaster movie? Yeah, use more than that. More..." #monsterdon

You know what your alien SF adventure needs? B-roll footage of a pool party that goes on forever.

#monsterdon #laserblast

god this is getting awkward
#monsterdon

Getting your ass kicked by Deezen. Also, his girlfriend has a helluva forehand. #Monsterdon

@Bluedepth *puffs and passes*
#Monsterdon

Not to bring down the energy but for young anthropologists out there, yes, this is a scarily accurate depiction of how sexual assault was commonly handled. Like, it's no big deal. It's just a thing. Right up to her apologizing for needing rescue.

#Monsterdon
#Laserblast

Two minutes after the nudity, there's your socially redeeming value, right there.

#monsterdon

MISTAH PATATA HEAD is a BULLY?!

Christ who was in charge of this movie's casting

#monsterdon #laserblast

That guy is having a blast being thrown on the couch again and again. #monsterdon

ah, so they're not just jerks they're serious creeps. #monsterdon

@socketwench Have you seen any cutoffs? I remember many cutoff jeans as swimwear. What is this - high class?

#Monsterdon

@Terencio Don't feel so bad. I think I missed that joke for decades. #Monsterdon

I feel sorry for Franney that she is not being harassed like all of her guests and also I feel sure that Franney's social insecurity must be a key part of the narrative.

#Monsterdon

Debbie Downer is down in the dumps about the douche dudes at this dive.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast1978

@Taweret @apLundell at least they got in the pool eventually

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon ohno

So he stashed the laser to go hang out with girls and then... failed to hang out with girls. #monsterdon #laserblast

Producer: Look we have to cut the budget for costumes by 50%. Who’s got ideas? #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Music for the pool party scene provided by local cover band Steely Dildo. #laserblast

Double oven? Somebody's dad worked at the mill.

#monsterdon

okay so

so

so

i know somebody whose house has that ground floor layout and now it's hilarious to me

#monsterdon #laserblast

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Is that one of those tuna and olive cakes with Miracle Whip frosting? #Monsterdon #laserblast

#Monsterdon 👦 🔦 🚀 💥👽 🔦 🚀 💥👾 😱

Does anyone know why we are being told the information in these scenes?

@wohali@timeloop.cafe Brown is better than the modern greige.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

"Mutual aid request for 4.50 - I need new buttons for my shirt"

#Monsterdon

Billy walks around the couple making out creepily to, apparently, check and see if it's Cathy!

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Thank you Eddie Deezen for being the one guy to not go shirtless.
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Bechdel test passed!!!

"You want some cake?"

#monsterdon

For example, this whole pool party sequence is a mistake. Nothing is happening. No character development and no plot movement. #monsterdon

Needs more shag carpet for realism #monsterdon

I want to believe this type of character "person who thinks people only like them because of their pool" is fictional. I want to believe people with pools have no problems at all. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon

The casting call for this read.

Looking for teen agers must be at least 40 years old.

@RamenCatholic "using slang I just about understand! how dare you kids!" #Monsterdon

@apLundell beginning to think it was a dream

#monsterdon

I missed the first 30 minutes and just tuned in and it's been . . . 10 minutes of pool party?
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

it wouldn't be a 70s movie without some boobies and bikini girls, right?
#monsterdon

"look. we've agreed to provide a 90-minute film. We've got 15 minutes of aliens. Add in some teenage bikini shots, and topless bikini shots." #monsterdon

@OldRustBucket 🤔 Oh? #monsterdon who he with?

The cinematography of this film is just…hmm…how to describe it…non-existent.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast1978

I wonder how many movies have both Coke and Pepsi product placement shots in them. That may be a distinguishing feature of LASERBLAST, such as it is

#Monsterdon

The woman with the only actually "normal" body is shown eating her feelings. Thanks movie.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Ooooh, so literally no one knows how shirts work in this town. Got it.

@Lazarou am as old as this movie, if it helps. Let's go yell at kids to get off our lawns, the damn whippersnappers. #Monsterdon

This scene has all the interest and sex appeal of a diet soda left out in the sun since last Tuesday.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon In case anyone missed it I want to make sure everyone is aware that the filmmaker here had to have been _heavily_ influenced by the Coleman Francis school of filmmaking.

Number of straight explanations for this: zero.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

mmmm corded 120V amp at the poolside playing the radio through no visible speaker

#monsterdon

What are the cops up to?
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon That’s a waterlogged sausage party. Bleh. But at least we have a lovely sad lesbian angle now.

Social commentary. Nice. #Monsterdon

cake looks terrible btw

#Monsterdon

okay they're talking about her birthday party and we got her name and her friends and her social anxiety disorder and also cake. i think that's a minimal pass

#monsterdon #laserblast

Billy's too cool for the pool #Monsterdon

Funny. I ran out of pools just last week. #Monsterdon

I like cake

#Monsterdon

This nerdy guy has played in every film from here to everywhere and I don't know his name! He's def someone's nephew. #monsterdon

i think these girls should take the cake and leave the set in their rear-view mirror. #monsterdon

(btw we are at laser blast count: 10)

#monsterdon

"Watcha thinkin about, Billy?"

"Oh, you know, just laser stuff"

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Sir Billy Hug And Kiss. Not going to be killed immediately. They don’t seem to understand the word “horny”. Probably are Ken and Barbie’s. LOL.

@Htaggert And we have a qualifying conversation! #monsterdon

#monsterdon so… something is eventually going to happen, right?

Right?

The movie wants us to believe these are teens? #monsterdon

LASER BLAST --COMING SOON

#monsterdon

Wow. So this is what the mean kids are up to.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast1978

70s kids love listening to 12-bar blues played over and over again

#monsterdon

@strangefour

> Ugg and Lee

OMG. only now do I get the joke. #monsterdon

Billy can't can't change to his suit to swim. The jeans are part of his anatomy.

#Monsterdon #LaserBlast

Ah, the pre-sunscreen era. Now I understand why everyone is 37.

#monsterdon

This whole party looks like someone's last known photo

#Monsterdon

This party music is groovy!

#monsterdon

No 2nd takes! #monsterdon

I think this the scene when Billy picks his porn name. #Monsterdon

She is legitimately the worst. Just babbling nonsense.

But then the heroes return! They don't speak English and make more sense than her!

Weird how the aliens can rewind the movie to see what happened.

#monsterdon #laserblast

oh boy eddies gonna look like a lobster by the time he wakes up from that nap
#monsterdon

That had to be the quietest splash I've ever heard at a pool
#Monsterdon

Incidentally, would you see a movie called "Monster Don" about the rise of a Mafioso made from the parts of dead Mafiosi? Because most of them were 'rats', he's got a lot of revenge to process….

(…or else it's about a certain president, and the revenge plot is as before.)

#monsterdon

choosing to believe those are real aliens borrowed from some secret military base in the desert who just wanted to do some acting #Monsterdon

camera operator expected her to go another direction, that's okay, we'll roll with it

#monsterdon #laserblast

Twistin by the Pool!

#Monsterdon

@RobotDiver "Yeah they're up to something."

#monsterdon #laserblast

I can't decide how I feel about the fact that all of these actors have tan lines that imply they wear even smaller stuff when they aren't on set.

#Monsterdon

Back again at icky romance.
#monsterdon

ah yes, obviously the most happenin' pool party this side of the local cemetary. #monsterdon

The hero certainly is an ambitious one, isn't he?

#Monsterdon

More lazy than usual? #monsterdon

I've been to that party.

Kill me now. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon "can't swim babe. gotta recharge my laser"

I also heard that it aint so hot.

#Monsterdon

Meanwhile, back at the motel pool birthday party ...

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Same pool set as the one in Boogie Nights #monsterdon

"What if instead of Ewoks we had girls in bikinis....."

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Red hot franks? You literally just said that. Nobody laughed either time. Better say it again. #monsterdon #laserblast

She's really bad at splashing water.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

The 70s Mojo Overload at this pool party I can't even

#Monsterdon