There was just a macguffin removal from that dude. I'm sure that won't be important later. #monsterdon

So are the Slayers some sort of alien parasites controlling those bodies?

#monsterdon #krull

okay, the galloping through fire while everybody shouts scene was nice though. that would legit be terrifying. #monsterdon

Colwyn talked a big game about fighting off the slayers, but he couldn't even keep them from crashing his wedding. #monsterdon

Swashbucklery!

#monsterdon

okay i may actually love this movie too much to make fun of it.

#monsterdon

They've stolen the bride which I think proves my theory that the only reason Aliens would come to a backward world would be to interfere with the people there, sexually.

Thinking about what that British guy did to the Senitalese to make them fear outsiders for generations..

#Monsterdon #Colonialism

THE END

Well that's was a nice film

#monsterdon

Soooo the swords make laser blasty beams?

Sure, why not.
#monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

🪐 KRULLIFIC TRIVIA ⚔️ 🎆

What did it take?

🔸23 constructed sets
🔸10 sound stages
🔸Italian mountains location
🔸Massive 007 soundstage
🔸Over a hundred different costumes
🔸5 months of production
🔸A crew of several hundred
🔸40 Slayers
🔸4 tons of painted cork for quicksand

...and 16 HORSE PASSPORTS, each with two photos (in costume and without)

#monsterdon MONSTER ZAP! Not sure what that bright blue light was, exactly, but I'm sure it has something to do with The Beast™ attacking and interrupting the royal marriage.

Oh hey, those ominous soldiers clad in glossy black pointy armour can also just scale castle walls as if weightless? Uhhh and when stabbed they break apart like garthim from The Dark Crystal? OK, sure, got it.

ticticticitic as she tiptoes down the ramp

#monsterdon

Their laser sticks only fire once

#monsterdon

The Slayers have blasters?

#monsterdon #krull

#Monsterdon red and blue lasers. GI Joe called…

Lasers AND swords, JUST PICK ONE
FOR GOD'S SAKE

#Monsterdon #Krull

Maiwaigge is what bwings us togevah today...

#monsterdon

"Speak now or forever hold your peace."

"NO, NOT LIKE THAT!"

#Monsterdon

Laserblast! #Monsterdon #Krull

#Monsterdon She has to go to the clinic really soon. That sort of yeast infection can be lethal.

@cd0 #Monsterdon is many things

but yes

Wait. So an alien castle spaceship arrives with an army of space suited alien soldier. That's all understandable. But where did they get the horses? Are those space horses?
#Monsterdon #Krull

#Monsterdon I love how bright midnight service lighting is on set. Set? What do you mean, set! This is the wilderness. With… spotlights and diffusers. Wait.

Guessing she'll get captured

#monsterdon

Score is 75% fanfare

#Monsterdon

MAWWAGE

Mawwage is what bwings us twogethaah twoday #Monsterdon

One part Star Wars, part Lord of the Rings, part Monty Python, mix and add a dash of expensive music

#Monsterdon

Is that a fortress or a really aggressive sandcastle? #monsterdon

Her hair was the inspiration for Merida

#monsterdon

"Good fighters make bad husbands."

How about bombers, then?

#monsterdon #krull

I kinda miss the early 80s solemn fantasy. No winks to the audience, just deadly serious Shakespearean actors in plastic helmets having heard tell of an ancient prophecy

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon This movie seems to be trying to take itself very seriously but this whole princess / king conversation is just giving me very strong Spaceball vibes.

The soundtrack has a ton of faith in this film. I wish I shared it.

#Monsterdon #Krull

Oh drat, missed the #monsterdon timing now I guess, but was unable to find the movie on Tubi Canada.

Must only be on the US version of the site. Not on Ytube, Pluto or Prime either, so I guess we're passing on it this week.

This dude like the colour purple and fair play to him, it's a good colour, a colour fit for Prince

#Monsterdon

This movie would suck so hard if it was made today. But it wasn't.

#monsterdon

A bit of Star Wars meets Dark Crystal wot wot

#monsterdon

uh-huh yea okay space nobility and space prophecy, got it

#Monsterdon

✅ Horsies! #monsterdon

Even the narrator isn't taking it seriously
#monsterdon

It was given to me to know that you shouldn't really start movies with narration. #monsterdon

This, it was given me to narrate. #monsterdon

I’m choosing #monsterdon over actual science.

"A girl of ancient name"

Karen

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon this planet had dollar store fault-lines.

This opening theme is so muscular it's going to gallop away.

#Monsterdon

Many things are wrong with 2025 but I'm glad we can see a mountain coming at us from a way off.

Whether we'd do anything about it is a very 2025 question.
Some of us would welcome it

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon this score is ripped off from Star Trek the Motion Picture. Hahahaha.

"a peter yates film" so we know who to send our strongly worded letters to later. #monsterdon

@Configures @strangefour Yeah, not much to butcher there. But since the film was basically them going to the castle, maybe a Mad Max Fury Road treatment could work. Get them the fire horses at the beginning, add some lens flares, multiple glass spiders, Chris Pratt, soundtrack by Junkie XL... profit. #monsterdon

So I found what purports to be the Krull Script online. The word Krull is said exactly 3 times in that script.

In the narrator's introduction: nd this, too, was given me to know: That the Beast would come to our world, the world of Krull...

When young king whiney-pants recruits the thieves: If the Slayers conquer Krull, your sons will be enslaved forever.

And when explaining the cyclops origin story to the doofus shapeshifter: Long ago, his ancestors lived in a world far from Krull. And had two eyes like other men.

So yeah, blink and you miss it. Or maybe it was drowned out by horny James Horner's honorary ornery horn section. I dunno.
#monsterdon

It's funny to think that the evil lord fortress is falling in reverse 😆
#monsterdon

Is kind psycopathy how the young royal couple is enjoying this barbecue
#monsterdon

On a more serious note, making the leader of the bandits his Lord Marshall is a nice nod to "I'll be a better ruler" given the intro for the bandits.

#Monsterdon

Hey @paco, this has to be a record tootstream.

#Monsterdon

That's another #Monsterdon in the can!

That story had a lot of promise, but it lacked in execution. Too bad. I had a great time, though.

Thanks to @Taweret for hosting, @Cherizilla for #MonsterdonBingo, and all of you for making it fun.

Cheers!

@ramsey @paco Once you have insight into the planet name everything becomes recontextualized and makes sense.

#Monsterdon

OK, had a bathroom break, secured a box of cookies, settling in for Wrath of Khan now.

#Monsterdon

And, just to keep score ... NO coffee, NO smoking.

#Monsterdon #Krull

@ohiofi @Zerofactorial They give you the kingdom for free but they really kill you on the subscription. And then you have to return the thing to a licensed dealer when you're done, Arthur had a helluva time getting that done. #Monsterdon

And the aliens are . . . riding horses. As aliens do. Slayers on horses.
#Monsterdon

I think part of why I liked these scenes is because they gave the Princess something to do during all this Questing. Not a *lot* to do, but it did at least sell the fear and temptation to despair.

But it's definitely mostly that they look sick as hell.

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe @ohiofi Colwyn's subscription was only good for twelve uses, he needed to upgrade to premium to get more #monsterdon

Okay, started watching the first 20 minutes, which I missed—and they really just TELL YOU the entire setup—the aliens, the king and queen, the prophecy, the whole shebang.

#Monsterdon

I also think I heard a Wookie in there some time. #Monsterdon

i gotta say, I love the whole James Horner horning thing but I gotta agree with @brooke that he just reassembles the same ideas and melodies, so for a Wrath of Khan fan like me at every few minutes I kept repeating to myself lines from Kirk or Khan in my mind and that was very distracting.

ST2 came out in 1982 so it was basically the Origin Story for this soundrack. #monsterdon

@paco thoughts and prayers. #Monsterdon

@SnoopJ is she inside the Court of the Crimson King?

#Monsterdon

That was one big, dumb, but good-looking movie.

#monsterdon #Krull

This was a movie with a lot of good stills in it

#Monsterdon

And the moral of the story is that Hero's Journey plots are no panacea and whoever says they're the best and only way to make a story really ought to reconsider what storytelling can do in the right hands #monsterdon

In brief, this movie really needed an extra person at the script stage to read over what they had and go, "This will drag. This is the same as every fantasy story scrawled by a 12-year-old in a Trapper Keeper. *This* is new. Cut here and here, focus here."

#Monsterdon

@allanb Whenever we've done an actual good movie for #Monsterdon it's been very weird IMO and not as fun. I mean, it's a good experience but of a different kind because we all want to actually watch the movie rather than poke fun at it.

that was some ass kicking stop motion spider action!
#monsterdon

@cshlan I did notice that at least one of the horses left by the castle wasn't "reins down" so probably felt free to flame off any old time. #Monsterdon #Krull

First 20 minutes of film, "you'll know when to use the weapon." Last 20 minutes, "Time to use the weapon."

#Monsterdon

#Krull was the kind of bad that one likes to watch. Another successful #Monsterdon under my belt. Thanks all for the laughs and good times.

@ohiofi Likely get more accurate results by appending "reddit"

#monsterdon

They're mourning the weapon more than any of the people who died.

#Monsterdon #Krull

yeah, i feel like i SHOULD dislike this movie, but actually i think it was fine. really it just makes me wanna go read some really solid 18 volume high fantasy series. #monsterdon

@paco It's the name of their planet. Which is stupid, given how they treated it in the title and graphics.

#monsterdon #Krull

The magic glaive shined so brightly, but in the end, it was the fire of marriage saved the day!

#Monsterdon #Krull

@gnomon same.
#Monsterdon

I must not have been paying attention. What was KRULL? Was it the name of the Big Bad? Was it the name of the spinning starfish of doom? Was it the name of the kingdom? I'm not joking. I don't know what KRULL is.
#monsterdon

Well I guess I have to admit that young Lyssa did get to use a tiny smidgen of agency #monsterdon

Gonna go see if the gas station out by the highway with the cabinet of cheesy novelty knives has a glaive BRB

#monsterdon #krull

🦖#MONSTERDON Goodbye!

Thank you @Taweret for hosting this multi-genre mélange!

and thanks @Cherizilla for the Bingo card! The crossed swords were chef's kiss! (Still, you missed 'menopausal uterus')

And to all the members of the Real Time Film Analysis Squad: Something was happening every minute! We just could not figure out why! Loved tonight's commentary - will have to respond to those posts I missed later.

P. S. apparently the Marvel things are Skrulls, not Krulls.

#Monsterdon

And just one final shout-out to the James Horner soundtrack doing the most. It was jarring at times because the movie wasn't good enough to handle that aggressive a score. But I still appreciate it on its own, separate from the film. #monsterdon

Greig "I paid for the whole orchestra so I'm gonna USE the whole orchestra" McRitchie
#monsterdon

I still love this movie. But it's much better in concept and design than it is in execution. Also it's got some scenes that go on for waaaaay too long. Like Rockclimbing.
Still one of the best fantasy movies of my childhood.
#Monsterdon #Krull

Well, that was... a movie.

#Monsterdon

Also that last bit of narration could've just said, "And also we sadly misread the desire for a sequel." #Monsterdon

So that's Krull.

They nailed down so many of what I would consider to be secondary aspects of a film: sets, effects, locations, cinematography, soundtrack, but after that it feels like they thought that would be enough and sadly it wasn't. #monsterdon

no shade to anyone for whom this is their shit, things you would call "fantasy" and especially medieval fantasy are 0% for me. do not understand why they are good. #monsterdon

That was... something. Parts of that movie are much better than they have the right to be, and other parts are so bad that someone should have been fined and/or blackballed from filmmaking. What a whiplash!

#Monsterdon #KRULL

and then, just as suddenly as it had appeared, the soundtrack ended. #monsterdon

Pinewood Studios had, at the time, the largest soundstage in the world. Everything that wasn't a shot traipsing through the mountains was shot on that soundstage.

#monsterdon

I can't wait until Krull 3: The Return of Shinypants.

#monsterdon #krull

At least there were no Ewoks.

#Monsterdon