OMG Krull boy is Eddington from DS9? Is that why I want to slap him so hard? Also, Eddington was kinda hot once? EEEEEWWWW. Brain clash! #MONSTERDON

Child me would have gobbled up this flying horse nonsense. 🥹 #Monsterdon

almost didn’t make it to #monsterdon tonight, so thanks to @Taweret and the whole gang for tonight’s foolishness. totally worth it.

#wrongFrogs #monsterdon

#Monsterdon is wonderful. It’s a little perfect place for us all. We get to watch something awful and make it better with each other. It’s one of the sweetest little islands of joy I have left. Spending it with all of you. Laughing and honestly having a wonderful Sunday with Good People. It’s lovely. Thank you all!

@Zerofactorial @CactuarJoe

Glaive enshitification

MGaaS: MacGuffin as a Service

#monsterdon #krull1983

They named their son He-Man

#monsterdon

THEY SHALL RULE THE GALAXY?

fuck that. we are an anarcho syndicalist collective.

NO RULERS

NO MASTERS

#monsterdon #Krull

this is gdamn LOTR, but in space

#monsterdon #Krull

- are you alright?

- yes, my beard weave is still in place

#monsterdon #Krull

The real Glaive is the friends we made along the way

#monsterdon

Jefferson Starship is no more

#monsterdon #Krull

on, and instead of the eye of Sauron, we got to see the anus

#monsterdon #Krull

so Krull is Space Lord of the Rings but from the POV of Aragorn and where all the hobbits had proper nutrition and were all regular sized

#monsterdon #Krull

He's a seer, not a doer. They should have left him safe back in his cave. #monsterdon

We're approaching the climax. Quick! Kill all the side characters. #monsterdon

WAIT! THIS PLACE HAS TWO SUNS? so this is supposed to be a LOTR & Star Wars mashup. wow.

#monsterdon #Krull

#Monsterdon Shelobs trashy cocaine cousin Larry.

Muttonchops Gandalf rocks has joined the great Lemmy in the sky

#monsterdon #Krull

i think we just got goatsed by Space Helena Boham Carter

#monsterdon #Krull

Colwyn Googling: cyclops stuck in door

#monsterdon #krull1983

Colwyn Googling: how to get glaive unstuck from beast YouTube

#monsterdon #krull1983

#monsterdon And that's it?! The beast is slain, the castle collapses, someone cracks a weak joke, and the credits roll?? The beast fucked off into space or something, apparently the royal couple are going to wander off to have a son who will rule the galaxy after definitely being democratically elected and NOT through imperial conquest, and that's a wreck!

Thank you for hosting, @Taweret! Thank you for the bingo card, @Cherizilla.

And thank YOU, dear viewer! Woof, that was long & silly.

Actual emotions? However brief, well done, movie. #MONSTERDON

#Monsterdon no man has escaped the Web. Pets.com. Amazon.com. MySpace.com. Nobody ever survives the Web.

"How much?"
"What part?"
"The 20 seconds of the cawling spider. How much did we pay for that?"
#monsterdon

WOW. infanticide instead of abortion came out of nowhere.

#monsterdon #Krull

Oh shit the soundtrack is back. #monsterdon

#monsterdon "You heard the man, we're a army now!"

_muttering_ "An unpaid army."

"Have you got a problem?"

"What, can't a man even talk to himself without being interrupted now?"

Heh, legitimately funny

I CAME TO FIND A KING an i just found a man in touch with his feelings and excellent abs *growl*

#monsterdon #Krull

#Monsterdon Krull has the best perm hairdressers in the entire galaxy!

Francesca Annis has thr dubious distinction of playing the mother to Ralph Finnes’ Hamlet, with whom she was carrying an affair.

yes, they were fantastic in the play. i happened to have scored tickets to a show here in NYC.

#monsterdon #Krull

Soundtrack writing checks that the movie can’t cash #monsterdon

#monsterdon I want you all to hold me accountable: if I become an all-powerful evil god-king-monster and inhabit a terrifying monolith built to manifest the breadth and indomitable scale of my eldritch power, and I am slain by some whippersnapper who skips leg day, I want to make sure my architecture doesn't collapse upon my death. Not cool to endanger the lives of all my minions like that, and it would seriously stress the health plan, not to mention life insurance payouts. Hold me to it.

I love how the Space Mountain just collapses upwards like things don't!

#Monsterdon

This looked amazing in 1983

#monsterdon

Tired: Glaive
Wired: Hand fire

#monsterdon

Commercial voiceover: Do you ever feel like an angry tiger is rampaging up your colon? [angry cat snarl] Try preparation H! #monsterdon

30 men died to save this maiden so she can have his children

#monsterdon

it’s the Rohirim, but make it just the horseys

#monsterdon #Krull

Spiderwebs sound like obnoxious wind chimes. Everyone knows that. It’s science.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon "He gave his life for us."

"He... was my only family."

"We're your family now!"

ooooooof, it's not called an emotional beat because it's supposed to feel like being hit with a stick

SEE! This is why 70s and 80s kids are afraid of quicksand!

Stuff like this!

#Monsterdon

I wonder what the queen is up to. #monsterdon

"death and power are close cousins"

Looking at the obituaries every day and hoping....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

A dweam wiffin a dweam

#monsterdon

UMMMM wtf is Chris Pratt doing in this movie? he a time traveler?

#monsterdon #Krull

The Bechdel Test never had a chance in this movie

#monsterdon

Wilhelm is rolling in his grave #monsterdon

THEY GOT THE NEESONS & HIS SEXY PYTHON

#monsterdon #Krull

#monsterdon *fire mares gallop straight off a cliff and into the sky* ah OK so now we're in full E.T. / "why don't the eagles just fly them to Mordor" territory

Really missed an opportunity to license Ghost Riders in the Sky for this scene

all those horses galloping are a low-key a Budweiser commercial, right?

#monsterdon #Krull

@Cherizilla mad, isn't it? From dashing prince to mid level manager sick of the company #Monsterdon

- no man can kill me

- I. AM. NO. MAN.

Y’ALL! Peter Jackson ripped off Krull for a lot of scenes. WTF.

#monsterdon #Krull

It smells of ROUS's

#monsterdon

JFC. This had a budget of $50 million. By comparison, Return of the Jedi, which came out the same year had a budget of $32 million. The studio brasss must have watched the dailies and just wept. #monsterdon

This dude is the last person on the planet with a working internet connection, yet he is blind and there are no screen readers to describe the galactic pornography he craves

#Monsterdon

OMG i just saw the Neesons

#monsterdon #Krull

@JoeWynne

WHY did it take???!?

🔸23 constructed sets
🔸10 sound stages
🔸Italian mountains location
🔸Massive 007 soundstage
🔸Over a hundred different costumes
🔸5 months of production
🔸A crew of several hundred
🔸40 Slayers
🔸4 tons of painted cork for quicksand

...and 16 HORSE PASSPORTS, each with two photos (in costume and without)

#monsterdon

space Helena Bohman Carter’s hair bothers me. and her stay. it don’t look right.

#monsterdon #Krull

ewwwwwwwww WTF came out of that helmet?

#monsterdon #Krull

#monsterdon That hallway full of theatrically flaring torchière polearms is terrifying when you consider the amount of extremely flammable hair spray in the princess's updo, there.

Krull bombed at the box office. The studio lost $millions.

People don't know art when they see it.

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe @Bluedepth

Looks like you signed up for the Basic tier, Mr. Colwyn. Unfortunately returning to your hand is a Premium tier upgrade.

#monsterdon #krull1983

Wow. I need a moment alone

#monsterdon

@ColesStreetPothole Corwin pulled it out of a river of glowing hot sauce cosplaying as lava early in his rescue quest.

#monsterdon #krull

#Monsterdon There’s shit-ass structural integrity fields and then there’s fall apart mountain.

You've got to appreciate the work that went into these sets....

#Monsterdon

The Beast looks exactly how I imagine an interstellar sex tourist to look like, but without the tentacle genitals....I guess this is a kids movie after all

Love how Lt Eddington emotes for his stuck Glaive

#Monsterdon

One thing about British TV & Film, they somehow learned how to use annoying electronic noises and just ran and ran with it...
#monsterdon

they gonna burn that fucker down with their LOOOOOOVE

#monsterdon #Krull

You're not fooling me. This set is just a science museum giant model of the inner ear. #monsterdon

"this room has multiple men being penetrated....."

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Oh no, Liam Neeson has been perforated! Time for some Acting™.

Don't be sad. If Liam's role had been any bigger, his career wouldn'a survived this movie. #monsterdon

It's good that they made it feel like they had travelled 1000 leagues.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon *horses gallop by in a herd*

_extremely Laura Dern voice_ They do move in herds!

(Are these the fire mares that were coincidentally mentioned in the last scene? Is there a reason they are not apparently fiery in any particularly obvious way?)

"No man has ever escaped the web"

too many cat girls, we are always drawn back

#Monsterdon

Content warning: Implied spiders. #monsterdon

If only all terrible comic relief could transform into puppies and then just stay that way for the whole movie. #monsterdon

The trees are alive... with the sound of budget constraints. #monsterdon

No Tasha Yar! Don't go into the black metamucil! #monsterdon

there’s no Black dude. someone gotta be the die. betcha the guy’s Irish. from County Mayo or something like that

#monsterdon #Krull

#Monsterdon GenX is triggered by quicksand. We always expected it, and never found any.

OMG Space Helena Boham Carter just ran into a cervix

#monsterdon #Krull

Poor cyclops left out of the bonding session.....

#Monsterdon

OMG what’s his name, this shape-shifting silly goose?

also, did Peter Jackson totally yanked this hidden waterfall, pond place for Gollum?

they actually copied Krull for the LOTR movies?!?

#monsterdon #Krull

Off-brand Sauron is watching #monsterdon

WAIT! Patrick Star, with switchblades, is gonna save them?

#monsterdon #Krull

Kids, it's not ok to stick your hand into lava

#Monsterdon

and there is nothing like a steam sulphur bath after all that rock climbing

#monsterdon #Krull

"A real king should have the tightest leather pants for a quest"

#Monsterdon

"So it's like Excalibur, right?"

"Shhh, different planet kid, long time ago..."

#Monsterdon

so they’re like space Nazguls or something?

#monsterdon #Krull

I watched Dark Crystal as an adult and it wasn't as good as I remembered. Krull was better by far.

#monsterdon

Really glad they avoided the girl in puberty trope. (I'm looking at you, Labyrinth)
#monsterdon

thing about watching krull is that i mainly associate this james horner soundtrack with stealing the enterprise from spacedock #monsterdon

@jonny I always resent the Monarchies in those stories, at least some bandits or pirates abandon hierarchies, but they're usually the 'baddies', Monarchist propaganda! #Monsterdon

I mean those pants aren't David-Bowie-tight, but they're gettin there. Use talc.
#monsterdon