#monsterdon A query: is Hans a himbo?

@paco prussian army humour #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Bruh why is Olson sitting there so fucking clan while everything is blowing up? Lol.

lmao all their feet are just soaking wet for the indefinite future that sucks ass. why are some of them still wearing their shoes #monsterdon

Go for a swim in shark-infested waters on whim.

#monsterdon

"Wounds heal much faster here."
"It would be a great place for a battleground!"
"ha ha ha you little scamp"

What the hell? That's not even remotely funny. #monsterdon

They volunteer to find a rudder, Hans immediately discounts anything they say and goes to look for a rudder #monsterdon

we'll build an open fire on the wooden raft while underway... wtf #monsterdon

is it edible? probably not with that much rubber in its skin. (-_-) #monsterdon

Man you can't eat that fish, it's rubber. #Monsterdon

"the raft proved it could sail beautifully to the great satisfaction of everyone."

Everyone: :pika:

#Monsterdon

They are becalmed.

Also they moved thousands of kilometers to the Atlantic Archipelago in just a handful of days?

#Monsterdon #WhereTimeBegan

Wait. They walked from Iceland to the British Isles?

#monsterdon

Got some major "my stuff is better than yours!" vibes here #monsterdon

"The raft proved it could sail beautifully" Dude the prop is totally sinking on that one side. #monsterdon #JourneyToTheCenterOfTheEarth

#Monsterdon It's Science Fiction guys. 🙏

Yes, stand under the dangerous mushrooms while talking about the dangerous spores. #monsterdon

@amyfou ..dead little poopyhead #monsterdon

That wood sure is buoyant. #monsterdon

An ocean below the surface of the Earth!
Oh the beach episode. Victorian underwear makes everyone look so much worse.
#Monsterdon #WhenTimeBegan

"aurora boreanus"

#Monsterdon

then they have the acid trip scene from Easy Rider in the mushroom field #monsterdon

I've got to get one of those explosion boxes. That looks like lots of fun. #monsterdon

"These could be dangerous, so I'll just leave the recovering concussion patient on his own"

#monsterdon

@ricci And this one will mean everything you've been doing for the past three days was actually a dream

#Monsterdon

olsen is the best character and it's not even close. if they would give hans any lines ever he might have a chance but the other three can't be redeemed and can't get eaten by the core dinosaurs fast enough #monsterdon.

... and this one will make you dead, probably

#Monsterdon

Everyone in this film is either really far away from each other, or DEAF. Nobody hears anyone until the've screamed really loudly like 10 times. #monsterdon

they look like wooden mushrooms! no, i mean, the props department should be ashamed #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Under the earth, mushroom is on you.

Uhh monsterfight! now we are talking #Monsterdon

Starting remind me of the episode of Gilligan's Island where The Skipper and Gilligan made a raft. #monsterdon

dr. weird is going at it with the bath bombs again

#monsterdon #WhereTimeBegan

causing lakes to explode randomly sure is a hobby #monsterdon

The above-ground portions of mushrooms is primarily a sex organ, right? I think these mushrooms are compensating for something.

#Monsterdon #WhereTimeBegan

"Stay here while I investigate."

Next scene the lovebirds are wandering in the mushroom forest without a care.

#Monsterdon

Uncle Otto has no joy in his heart, and apparently thinks even the Aurora Borealis are a thing to speak derisively about

oh boy do I have news for you

#Monsterdon

Wait, the dust MELTS ROCKS? How? #Monsterdon

Woman breaks fossil cause she’s a klutz. Eyeroll. #monsterdon

We sure they are not magic mushrooms?
#Monsterdon

ah! so THIS is where they all die? right? ... right? #monsterdon

No one make a smell! #monsterdon #JourneyToTheCenterOfTheEarth

DON'T TOUCH THE MUSHROOMS
#monsterdon

MARY ANN! GILLIGAAAAAAAAAN!

#monsterdon #WhereTimeBegan

One stroll over they'll find the giant mushroom that the Telvanni wizard is living in. I'm not betting on them convincing Neloth they need help.

#Monsterdon

*perks up*

Mushrooms? #monsterdon

I love you mushroom forest... I want you to be real #monsterdon

A new man? Just wandering the caves? Lost for months? Well I guess they need more bodies to have a body count. There is a body count right?
#Monsterdon #WhenTimeBegan

Olsen creeping on clothing is so reassuring (not!). #Monsterdon

This one will make you larger, this one will make you smaller

#Monsterdon

Those....THOSE are some quality background mattes!! 🍄

#Monsterdon

are we going to eat these mushrooms? senshi WOULD improve this movie by a factor of like 1000. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon So terribly convenient that there was plenty of stripped tree trunks to make a raft.

Ew Olsen, don't be a creep! #monsterdon

#monsterdon OH HoW MaRVELoUS an OceAN BENEATH the CruST.

Olsen has a fascination for women's clothing, eh?

#Monsterdon

hans is stacked, i can apprecaite that

#monsterdon #WhereTimeBegan

@CactuarJoe PRETTY SURE IT IS! #monsterdon

I am behind... I'm skipping ahead because this cave exploring is sloooooow. Walking and listening and walking and zzzz.
#Monsterdon #WhenTimeBegan

@strangefour
No adventure movie was complete without the gooey menace!!

#Monsterdon

oh nvm, apparently it's underground aurora borealis #monsterdon

Glauben is showing a scandalous amount of ankle around these men. #monsterdon

That's not fake chest hair

#monsterdon

Very mainly chest hair sheepguy
#monsterdon

An ocean with bright sunlight deep inside the Earth

wat

#Monsterdon

oh no hans it's too soon to lose you. DONT SPLIT THE PARTY #monsterdon

#monsterdon I am also deeply offended by no one helping Hans build the raft.

How did these young people make it to adulthood? #monsterdon

Okay, compare Axel and Hans in this scene, who's the real hunk

#Monsterdon

Figures that Axel rolls so easily #monsterdon

Ah, she found a nice aquafer to swim in, good thing it definitely isn't an underwater hot spring full of concentrated sulfuric acid #monsterdon

Axel is a dumbass but I want his sweater #Monsterdon #JourneyToTheCentreOfTheEarth

@gnomon We should put some wheels on him! #crickets #monsterdon

... and from now on the camera will be very very careful not to tilt up towards the sky

#Monsterdon

This movie is infinitely better if you pretend that his name is Axehole. #Monsterdon

Yeah, let the semi-conscious man go swimming.

#Monsterdon #JourneyToTheCentreOfTheEarth #JourneyToTheCenterOfTheEarth

he was sniffing her skirt I' sure of it
#monsterdon

"You've been in a coma for 2 days. C'mon, get up. In fact, go for a swim."

Clearly not a professor of medicine. #monsterdon

We're never going to address the lighting issue, are we #monsterdon

@jonny Is there about to be a fk off into thesea in reverse? #monsterdon

this movie sure has the ADR of all time

#monsterdon

Mysterious White Jesus Caver Guy: interesting eyes

Prussian Soldier Guy: too stupid to live

Point: Mysterious White Jesus Caver Guy

#Monsterdon

Ah, I see, that explains the ocean! And the sunlight? #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon I like that these people just decided to walk into a deep, deep, dark, dark, deep, dark cave.

Klutz. Knocked out for two days.

#Monsterdon

Grr. Uncle Otto is a jerk, denying Glauben's lived experience (someone saving her from the quicksand/sinkhole was her "imagination"), and Axel has conveniently forgotten that she saved their expedition (with cash/tickets they'd forgotten) when he scolds her for coming along with them. #Monsterdon #JourneyToTheCenterOfTheEarth
BTW, how come soldier Axel was able to just kite off on this expedition when he was supposed to go on maneuvers in the morning? Court martial when he gets back?

hes been out for two days? shouldn't he like eat and hydrate before he goes for a swim?

#monsterdon

At least they remembered to bring a first aid kit #Monsterdon

dammit, i was hoping Axel would die from the fall #monsterdon

#monsterdon At least they found water but are they TRYING TO DROWN THEMSELVES?!?

How many sheep will Hans get for making that raft?! #Monsterdon

Axel should get a new head injury every time they need to skip ahead in the plot.
#monsterdon #WhereTimeBegan

Awww. They found him. #monsterdon #JourneyToTheCenterOfTheEarth

@srol this is the real romantic tension

#Monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow for reals

#monsterdon #WhereTimeBegan

Stranger finally shows up and belittles all of them. Sooo much alpha energy (read with heavy sarcasm) #Monsterdon

have you ever been to an underground hot spring like in Banff? they should be overwhelmed by the smell of sulfur now #Monsterdon

And nothing of value was lost. #monsterdon #JourneyToTheCenterOfTheEarth

Axel: Such insolence, we'll see how easily he can tell lies when I've locked my lips upon his. #Monsterdon

Projecting a little there, Axel? #monsterdon