#monsterdon Bert I Gordon furiously scribbling notes:

Finest ship or Dodge pickup? #Monsterdon

I have found the finest crew in all of Grease, and we will sail on the Greased Lightning!

#monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

wait, where's orpheus

#Monsterdon

This set was a barge that they built the boat on top of. They didn't use the motors during the shoots, but they were "great to get us home at the end of the day, of course!"

#monsterdon

Hylas, if this whole adventuring thing doesn't work out, let me introduce you to Ultimate Frisbee

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

#monsterdon
Hey guys, I know I recruited you for this sea voyage but I haven't built the ship yet..

That's the most ram-shackle boat I've ever

#monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

Damn that sheep looks mad #Monsterdon

And Hylas and Hercules lived happily ever after. The end.
#Monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

See, this is why there are humans. To keep the Gods entertained.

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

Brains instead of brawn and they choose the discus huh

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

#monsterdon The good ship Lollipop!

I win tiddlywinks!

#monsterdon

That discus didn't achieve escape velocity. I'm not impressed.

#monsterdon

Discus?

No thanks I already ate.
#monsterdon sterdon

*me looking disapprovingly down at my playbill* Oh, Hercules is in this?

#monsterdon

Oh come on this is no Hercules, he's missing about 300 pounds of muscles

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

Thd dude who is playing Zeus doesn't look man whorish enough to be Zeus #monsterdon

And that folks is the first Olympics outlined by Jason!

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

“Spiros of Syracuse” nice to see New York represented #Monsterdon

I'm starting to worry Jason isn't going to throw anything into space

#monsterdon

Athletes... wearing clothes?!? Ewww...

#Monsterdon

After this meeting, Pelias' son is like "y didnt u kill him" and Pelias answers "i dunno that would probably doom me because of gods and prophecies and shit, but if i give him a boat he might get lost forever on the ocean and get eaten by a mermaid or something.

#monsterdon

where's the synchronized swimming competition?

#monsterdon

"by those who want their help least"

smash cut to dude punching another dude.

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

After rescuing him, the big bad (Pelias?) pretends to be someone else, shows Jason his cool camp with its dancing fanservice girls. Jason is like "yo im supposed to be the king here but first i'm gonna go find a shiny sheep and then come back and do a revolution against evil!" and Pelias is like "k, u should go on a boat ride to do that and get out of my hair"

#monsterdon

Time for the Black Pearl to make an appearance

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

Tiny army has advantages. Could fee a whole platoon on one jumbo jack. #monsterdon

The Enterprise-D? #Monsterdon

HELP_COUNTER -= 1

#monsterdon

@socketwench Team Daedalus! #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Come... with... me... to a land of pure imagination! 🤪

How much is a human heart worth? It's weight in gold?
#Monsterdon #JasonandtheArgonauts

Hearts of men are known to be way more valuable than gold.

By weight.
#monsterdon

Aha, Hera is genre savvy #monsterdon

Huh. I didn't know they played Axis and Allies on Olympus. #Monsterdon

Hermes is like instacart but for unwitting mortals. #monsterdon

@blogdiva you can tell how not used to it he is by how he is using his legs lmao #monsterdon

@paco They're so impressive!

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

So the Gods just sit around and play Risk all day? #Monsterdon

"or at least to loose gracefully"

no one else has, why should she?

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

Warhammer Of The Gods #monsterdon

Also - foreshadowing of cheating

The get big then turn into smoke version of the transporter never really caught on past the Byzantines, unfortunately.

#monsterdon #jasonandtheargonauts

Welp, he's been vaporized. Movie over.
#Monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

Wait, could a woman tell him where to find the fleece, then?

#Monsterdon
#JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

Hermes just showing off

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

Why are they standing amongst ruins at this time in history? Shouldn’t this shit be all shiny and new?

#Monsterdon

“Hermes” “Yes?? Er, I mean, I’m not Hermes! I’m, uh, Louis Vuitton. That’s it” #Monsterdon

This old guy wants a bj behind that wall, that's his game Jason....

#Monsterdon

"I don't believe in no stinkin' gods"
"Oh yeah, watch this!"

#monsterdon

Jason is an atheist?! In a world where the gods actively meddle? OK, baller move. #Monsterdon

in Greek myths, the heroes are always wary of the gods. They keep them at an arms-length because they know they are fickle -- extending and denying grace at the roll of the dice. But in Hollywood mythical film, the gods are stand-ins for the Christian God. So the protagonist must always be their champion.

#monsterdon

Go find this fleece stuff

Then build a ship

Then find a crew for the ship

TFW you gotta do the GRIND to level up #Monsterdon

Did Jason ever think to ask who he saved?

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

Yes, that horseshoe toy harp was definitely making that harp sound we just heard

#Monsterdon

Is that DAY POSING AS NIGHT is it?

#Monsterdon

The whole if I destroy Jason, I destroy myself thing. That's just taken on faith I take it.

#monsterdon

LIke this camp isn't heavily monogrammed with Pelias on all the things?

#monsterdon

Jason, have you considered that the guy with the huge camp and tons of followers might not be the guy to speak freely to?

#monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

Golden Fleece, G.E.C.K., close enough

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

RE: https://timeloop.cafe/@bunnyhero/116236164715720067

Soooo many babies #Monsterdon

Why are the ruins already in ruins in these movies?
#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

I always keep a couple people just dancin' around my camp for like, no reason. #Monsterdon

"I have waited for you for twenty years." But you haven't aged, you just added a bit of gray dye to your beard?

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

they don't even ask to see his ID

#monsterdon

Boy, the Greek gods are jerks. #Monsterdon

SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!

#Monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

Guy who is planning a murder in any work of fiction ever: You must accept my hospitality!

#monsterdon

LIMBOOOOO #Monsterdon

Campy hospitality you say?

#monsterdon

One sandal....not 6 fingers....that's for another guy.

#Monsterdon

The main takeaway of a childhood spent obsessively reading Greek myth was "Man, everyone always seems to hate Hera." Very interesting this movie doesn't #monsterdon

"They all look at home in a costume. Many Americans look ill-at-ease in a toga." hahahahahahaha

#monsterdon

You’re not the boss of me Zeus!

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

"You may help Jason five times! Five times only! After that the movies really get shitty so don't press your luck." #monsterdon

Gotta work in a little misogyny there...

#Monsterdon

Hera: Fuck you in particular, Briseis

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

The (Greek) gods must be crazy.
#Monsterdon #JasonandtheArgonauts

That Pelicans guy is a jerk!

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

Now, from the penthouse suite at Caesars Palace... #monsterdon

One sandal’d man will be there as soon as he’s done killing Richard Kimble’s wife #Monsterdon

Oh so murder is a problem because it's not a divine motivation. #Monsterdon

JSON and the api-o-nauts.

#monsterdon #jasonandtheargonauts

@firefly_lightning and I are doing #Monsterdon again. This is my kind of movie.

Harryhausen
Weird magic
Day players with swords

Ah shoot. I forgot to hook up second monitor to new PC. After old PC died earlier in the week which was my second monitor for monster chatting. Gonna be funky trying to do this on phone.
#Monsterdon #JasonandtheArgonauts

#Monsterdon #JasonandtheArgonauts1963 Quick kill all the sandal makers!

Yep, killing in a temple always a good idea...

#Monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

Oh hey, we have a (partially) painted statue! (For more on polychromy as it's called, see e. g. this great New Yorker feature.)

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963 *slaps roof of the bronze age* this bad boy can hold SO MANY mythological stories about attempted infanticide

Unusual colouring in this print. Is this vaunted Dynavision? It looks like dark Cibachrome.

#monsterdon

Okay genuinely appreciate the color on that statue #Monsterdon

This is the musical equivalent of eating stinky tofu (which is supposed to taste really good, they say)

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

Ooh, a painted [faux] marble statue! I'm loving it

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

I’m late to #Monsterdon and there’s already a fleeing crying baby

Honestly sad we are not watching a Roman film on this most auspicious day of the Ides of March
#monsterdon

okay I like that Hera sculpture that's nice

#monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

@plaidtron3000

That's the punchline at the end of the film.

#Monsterdon

Is the gamma really bad, is it meant to be night, or is my TV just doing a bad job here? It's so dark.
#monsterdon

Why do they cover their stone buildings in kindling?

#Monsterdon