I WANT YOU

#monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

His last name is actually Voorhees

#monsterdon #jasonandtheargonauts1963

🦖#MONSTERDON Goodbye!

🦖It's embarrassing how much I look forward to this time with all of you. You are the Real-Time Film Analysts of my dreams. So many caught the armpit scene. That's a measure of genius somewhere, I'm sure. The rest of my week never compares.

❤️ And thank you @Taweret for hosting this sword and sandal spectacular! It's an all-week job!

🅱️ and thanks @cherizilla for the Bingo card! My favorite: "Greed backfires".

To everyone asking "why is it stopping here": Because it's 1h44 minutes already and they're out of money.

Also denouement are for the weak and the French.

#monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

i saw this movie in an old town theater en Mayagüez with mami and baby bro sometime in the 1970s.

it’s one of my favorites for two reasons:

- the monsters terrified me so much, had nightmares for weeks.

- shortly afterwards Star Wars came out and changed everything and one of the selling points of the movie was that a big chunk of the FX crew had worked or been mentored by Harryhausen.

Ray Harryhausen is still the best.

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

I'm pretty sure skeletons are immune to slashing and piercing damage.
#monsterdon

I love the skellies so much they are my new favorite part of this movie

it's not like the VFX earlier in the movie weren't good but BY THE GODS the full power of Harryhausen et al. is something to behold

#Monsterdon

see, dumbass, you told the king to his face that you were going on a mission to dethrone him, and then even when you realized the person you told your whole plan to was the king himself, you did nothing to follow up on how that might have compromised your opsec, and now look at you. the kings son was just on your boat the whole time #monsterdon

the Argonauts technically fucked off into the sea MID STORY! there is so much left out of the Argonauts story, tis makes it a truly successful Monsterdon movie.

well done gang!

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

the skeletons fucking rule! long live the skeletons! fuck the gods! fuck the kings! only the skeletons! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963 her hair and makeup are remarkably on point for coming out of a shipwreck

Holy shit, this skeleton animation is _so fluid_. Especially (deliberately?) in comparison with the Talos fight from earlier in the film, this feels so much more fluid. There is motion, mass, momentum, all the character eyelines are in the right place even in the middle of the melee. This is world class work. What a scene.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963 draw me like one of your Gallic girls

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️ TRIVIA AND THE ARGOS ⛵🌊

I have geeked out at the skeleton hoard scene in this movie all my life. Look at the smooth motion, the complex movements, dodging and rolling in multiple levels.

👀 Look at the skeleton's shields. Each has a design based on previous Harryhausen monsters.

#JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

The crew later, drunk at some pub: AND THEN WE SAILED UNDER A GIANT MERMAN'S ARMPIT

Everyone at the pub: Yeah sure guys

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

Me, honestly, as a kid looking at pictures of ruins: Why didn't they ever build roofs

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

Imagine if you called 911 to report a guy following you with a sword and 911 was like, "Use your wits and look to his ankles"

THANKS FOR NOTHING, EMERGENCY SERVICES

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

No, Jason! Don't take advice from a weird dude playing a very small harp! That's a lyre!

#monsterdon

Tonight's #Monsterdon wasn't getting anywhere near a Bechdel test.

Medea proving women are always the collateral damage in war

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

and Poseidon fucked off into the sea, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE.

J&TA is breaking so many Monsterdon conventions.

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

I don't see how he can possibly have leverage with his lower half being a fin but whatever it's fine what are physics anyway

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

let me tell you something, when Thalos moved its head, we all screamed in that movie theater.

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

I like how she can close her eyes when the movie gets too ridiculous

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

maybe dont go around announcing you're going to dethrone the king around a bunch of the kings men and whatnot #monsterdon

Pissy guys who want to go to war: "We've no time for riddles and symbols, just tell us who to kill"

Oracles everywhere: <rolls eyes>

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

RE: https://mastodon.social/@blogdiva/116236481422571135

Okay, my timeline is often completely overtaken by a #Monsterdon rewatch that I am not viewing, but it is rare that I know the movie so well I can almost watch it Scene-for-scene through timeline comments.

#JasonAndTheArgonauts1963 has some very classic #harryhausen stop motion, I studied that movie.

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️ TRIVIA AND THE ARGOS ⛵🌊

Animation of Dem Bones - By the Numbers

7 skeletons each with
5 appendages
35 things to move for each frame, at least
13 to 14 frames per day for difficult action (half a second of film)
4.5 months approximately to film

#JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

Jason and Medea
Sittin' in a tree
F-L-E-E-C-E

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

I bet Hercules is throwing all kinds of stuff into space rn

#monsterdon

The power of purple glitter eyeshadow cannot be denied

DO NOT DENY IT

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️ TRIVIA AND THE ARGOS ⛵🌊

RUINS

During filming of tonight's feature, a big scene with the Argo off the coast of Italy was ruined when a replica of the Golden Hind sailed into view. The film 'Sir Francis Drake' (1961) was coincidently filming at the same location. That production's scene was ruined as well.

Tensions were dispelled when producer Charles H. Schneer shouted, "Get that ship out of here! You're in the wrong century!"

#JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

the costume department is like "hmm what did ancient guys wear, probably like diapers and pillowcases" #monsterdon

@hollie It's not just the beards. How 'bout them eyebrows?
#monsterdon

Hey, you know how I usually post shots from the video store¹ where I rent my #monsterdon movies?

They do customer recommendation videos. This is on the signup form:

"Bay Street Video stands strongly against homophobia, transphobia, racism, anti-semitism, Islamophobia, misogyny, genocide, anti-science beliefs (flat earth, climate denialism, COVID denialism, etc), algorithmically generated content (AI), and fascism." ( https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeh3rX9SfWeVRqvLFqnIT0JpYV0nm0K20z-l3UCSItmeV2H6Q/viewform?pli=1 )

They're great. ❤️

¹: e.g. https://mastodon.social/@gnomon/116236127294054189

I also really liked the dynamic where the gods were kind of chill but also used mortals as pawns in their board game while watching them from their TV fountain. They were meddling but in a very relaxed and playful manner.

It's interesting seeing a less hostile relationship between Zeus and Hera than is normally portrayed.

#monsterdon

I enjoyed Jason and the Argonauts!

As always, thanks to @Taweret for hosting, @cherizilla for the bingo card, @JoeWynne for the drink recipe and trivia, @ryan for the live stream, @paco for data analysis at https://gallery.don.monster, @combatwombat for the replay, and all of you for making it awesome!

#Monsterdon

Bargaining with peoples's lives and taking way more credit than they deserve make the Gods seem kinda like corporate managers

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

there is no better combat scene in movie history than Jason and the Argonauts vs Hydra’s skeletons. yes, even better than Luke vs Vader.

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

I now understand how this movie helped create an entire generation of VFX artists

This must have been such a thrill to see in 1963

#Monsterdon

If only they had CGI back then, this all could have looked terrible

#Monsterdon

And so decades of skeleton warriors in movies, cartoons, and in toy form were birthed from this one scene.
#Monsterdon #JasonandtheArgonauts

The hydra fight gets me a two-in-one #MonsterdonBingo

#Monsterdon

You'd think something with seven brains would be a little better at strategy

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

[wondering if the golden fleece monetary standard relies on actual harvest of fleece specie (fleespie?) or if it merely has notational value within their kingdom and their trading partners, and if the latter, who sets monetary policy? King Gidorah there or someone else?]

#monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

20 minutes left to escape prison, steal the fleece, sail home, marry the babe, dethrone the king, and revitalize the religious beliefs of your countrymen #monsterdon

so they're doing all this to go get some rug and convince everyone that the gods are real and therefore inspire a popular revolt that installs this guy as the king? #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963 bronze age man cursed to be eternally harassed by harpies for his sins first recorded person to complain of being cancelled

i just love how Harryhausen answers how would a bronze statue move if it came to life

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

"Jason! Jason! We accidentally made the movie much more memorable!"

#Monsterdon

@rebeld "To activate FleeceHeal ™️ , please scan the QR code and download our App. Now create an account. We have sent you a text with a security code. Thanks for signing up. Enter your email. We have sent an email confirmation..."

"Nevermind. She died."

#monsterdon

Shrieking like a little girl would also be my response to a gang of sword-wielding skeletons

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

honestly if more movies had the courage to abandon everything and pivot to a skeleton war instead of trying to resolve their plot... #monsterdon

"Hecate, goddess of darkness, revenge yourself upon the Thessalians. Deliver to me the children of the hydra's teeth, the children of the night!"

*fireballs roar from the sky and incinerate the corpse of the slain hydra, leaving only polished bones behind*

Come on, these special effects would have been amazing to watch in a theatre in 1963!

#monsterdon

AND WE HAVE A TITLE DROP #Monsterdon

*harpies swoop down and attack the blind man Phineas trying to have a meal at a stone table*

jeez it's like trying to eat grapes outside in the summer, dude's being mobbed by the equivalent of park squirrels

#monsterdon

Um, shouldn't the Greek temple be in good repair and not a 3300 yr old ruin?

Real estate agents these millennia.

#monsterdon

Counting that as friendship, so... bingo? #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963 "righty tighty; lefty loosey"

There's always a 'thermal exhaust port' on these things...

#Monsterdon

Having once rowed crew, I can tell you that backing up is not that easy

Admittedly I was never forced to row for my life away from a menacing giant on the shores of Lake Washington

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963 "These are the *biggest* anal beads I've ever seen!"

"If I meet a woman with a full leg and a warm bosom"

Wait, so like, you're looking for a woman with one good leg and warm boobs? It's nice that he doesn't have unrealistic beauty standards

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

I didn't know Hercules invented frisbee golf

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

discus? Discuss.

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

@moira @SnoopJ after getting off the gold fleece standard, there was a brief period of hyperinflation on the island before the skeleton army was able to assume control and institute a command economy based around manufacturing bone-based skeleton novelty items like spine string basses and femur drumsticks #monsterdon

We made it! And we only got a little fleeced

Thanks for the laughs everyone! :) Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

YOU JUST GO AHEAD WITH THE MARRIAGE EVEN AFTER GETTING RUN OFF THE CLIFF BY SKELETONS WHAT IS HAPPENING ON SKELETON ISLAND #monsterdon

All that great animation and they finish the scene by throwing a bunch of halloween decorations off a cliff XD XD XD #Monsterdon

I wonder if they ever get BONE TIRED

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

@hollie I think maybe it's more like an octopus where each head is sort of independent of the central brain and only for certain coordinated actions does the central brain get involved? But what threshold it needs for those actions is apparently not met here.

#Monsterdon

It's gotta be said that Jason totally is a thief here. Like, that shit ain't his. #Monsterdon

Okay I'm just going to say it: Jason sucks at swinging a sword

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

*frantically rowing away from the rockslide held back by huge damp deity, sailor yells* "KEEP THE STROKE GOING!"

*all of monsterdon looks straight into the camera*

#monsterdon

@jonny Probably just refusing to do sexual favors for Zeus

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

i looked away for five seconds and now a bunch of demons have baited a blind guy into an open field torment sesh with a plate of grapes #monsterdon

Guys with half-built wooden kayaks in their garages that they've been sanding for seven years: Yes, putting a boat together is definitely that easy

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

of course! the giant statue is only held together by the diesel engine in its ankle!
#monsterdon

All of the cheap 90’s and 00’s CGI is shit compared to Harryhausen at his prime. Harry understood that creatures have mass and are effected by gravity!

#monsterdon #jasonandtheargonauts1963

obviously when the giant statue comes alive and starts coming after you you just drop the god damn brooch pin and scram #monsterdon

You know what's good for sunburns?

Shirts

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

I love how my feed is all #Monsterdon and no #Oscars.

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️ TRIVIA AND THE ARGOS ⛵🌊

REUSE, RECYCLE

The Argo was built over a fishing boat, but it had three large Mercedes engines to power it. They cost roughly 10% of the film's budget.

Filmmakers sold the ship to 20th Century-Fox after filming, and it was used in Cleopatra (1963).

#JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

Jason attempts to explain the rules of the board game

#monsterdon #jasonandtheargonauts1963

Jason rocking that mini-dress with the bateau neckline and gathered waist for that straight out of Olympus look

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

"In 20 years he's turned my home into a savage, cruel land." 20? Amature. I know a guy who did it in less than 2. #monsterdon

It wasn't me, it was the one-sandaled man!

#Monsterdon

dang, something came up and I had to miss the #monsterdon movie. Then I joined #WrongJason just in time to see the perfect quote for my next biosketch...

I award Jason and the Argonauts 5 out of 5 glittering fleeces, mostly because it had a cool boat. Fuck yeah boats. The stop motion monsters were also cool.

All the characters were kind of jerks, but oddly not in an annoying way. The best character was King Neckbeard for being over the top. He brought the Tim Curry energy.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon As well done as that sequence was, Skeletons really are the most goofy of all forms of undead.

fuck yeah dude!!! with these skeletons!!!! all things are possible!!!! only skeletons in anything forever!@!!! #monsterdon

BBQ HYDRA with all the fixings

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

@moira reserve value of golden fleece with a bond issuance central bank backed up by the military assurance of a bunch of dragons and hydras and whatnot #monsterdon

RIP hydra you were the best part of the movie by far

#Monsterdon

HAIL HYDRA

edit: this interjection was an expression of shock at the appearance of the final guardian of the golden fleece, it is in no way an endorsement of any actions or positions attributable to the organization known as Hydra in reality or in fiction, the author claims no allegiance with said organization, et cetera

#monsterdon

Me, a spinner: I wonder if the golden fleece smells like dirt and lanolin

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

Medea is too good for Jason.

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

I feel like seizing everyone at a banquet like this is breaking a duty of hospitality

do these people not know they are in Greek mythology

classic way to get yourself transformed into a willow or encased in your own gold or some such damn thing

#Monsterdon

how do you go so wrong as to end up with this lego wig guy as your king #monsterdon

Okay well we know which boat crew needs a stern lecture about toxic masculinity

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts