@CactuarJoe gawd I read that to the tune of "I'm a bitch i'm a lover" etc

#monsterdon

The old dude objects to the ranger guy joining their secret apocalypse club house, because he doesn't have enough food, but he is overruled and the ranger guy joins their house.

Then at dinner the old guy explains that he's in charge (red flag) and has been preparing for the apocalypse for 10 years (weird, yellow flag) and also made a cool paper mache model of his house and yard (weird, green flag).

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

"I have this craving for fresh man meat."
You and me both honey. 💅
#monsterdon

My man. Why did you not over prepare. How do you not have food for a year for three people planned? And they the math would make more sense that you can't handle more than double the people. Or hell cover it with "damn it I was having more supplies to replenish coming next week. I just three out 6 months worth of food a few days ago." or some shit.
#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Heh. Yeah, I'm not gonna, I just need

BLOOD

#Monsterdon

raw meat aww yeah let's gooo 🧟

#monsterdon

#monsterdon We're all human, we are also divinely flatulent. Now PULL MY FINGER OR I’LL SHOOT YOU.

"I need fresh meat. Raw meat!"

"Here, nibble on my arm..."

#monsterdon

This guy should put a larger target on his back.

#Monsterdon

“I am the General and we will shoot the radiation if it tries to get in the house “

#monsterdon
#InTheYear2889

#monsterdon I think we've found Chekhov's Fascist.

"I'm in command! You will follow my orders! You're gonna die!"

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon If it rains, we're fucked. If it doesn't rain, the plants die, either way, we're fucked, but nevermind, you're not welcome here!

@Binder eh, he's no Auric Goldfinger

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

His second in command is the guy he just met who he didn't want here

#Monsterdon

Prepped Dad: here’s a diorama of my environment.

#Monsterdon

There Will Come Contaminating Rains

#monsterdon

I'm in charge, and here are my rules… says the guy who's had every thing he's demanded overruled by his daughter so far

#Monsterdon

LEAD SHIELDING DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

This MF made a diorama to show why he isn't dead.

#Monsterdon

This man is insufferable and I love him

#Monsterdon

Distressed at this, the old guy reclines on a chair and stares at a portrait of a lady, who I assume is his wife and also a ghost. Then a random couple wander in through his porch, seeking shelter from the sunlight and radiation.

The old guy shoos them away and then threatens them with a gun, because he only has provisions for 3 people in his plantation bunker house.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Patriarchy established....

#Monsterdon

"It looks like we're stuck with each other, so let's go over the rules.

"Do not pass Go, do not collect $200..."

#monsterdon

Can't stay!!!
No provisions!!
No provisions!!!
#monsterdon

there's a good premise for a farce somewhere in here: more and more people keep arriving in the apocalypse survival bunker, greeted each time with "what are *you* doing here?!"

#Monsterdon

Screaming is how she greets new friends. #Monsterdon

Okay, I'm on the feed. #Monsterdon is going.
Looks like prepper Dad isn't having much luck as his daughter lets everyone join their post apocalyptic resort.

does the jug have three Xes on it? it fucking better. DO YOU HEAR ME MOVIE IT FUCKING BETTER

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

What light though yonder window break.s
#monsterdon

This movie is on track to add a new character every 2 and a half minutes

#monsterdon

watch out for this one...he's sweaty!

#Monsterdon

That guy looks like trouble. I bet he's a BEATNIK.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Day for night!

#monsterdon
#InTheYear2889

"Mac, we're staying"

Nobody says "Mac" anymore

#Monsterdon

#InTheYear2889 starts with a nuclear bomb going off. A narrator whose "biblical" dial has been set to 11 tells us that a nuclear war is going on and radiation will kill everyone.

Meanwhile in a yard somewhere, an old guy and a young woman are listening to a portable radio describing the nuclear holocaust. They then go inside to play piano and hide from the radiation.

#monsterdon

This is like when the dwarves showed up at Bilbo’s house.

#Monsterdon

TBF, this is how I react to someone at the door...

#Monsterdon

is that portrait of his dear Lenore?

#Monsterdon

"I'm Steve Marlin. It's my grandma that said we could film here."

#Monsterdon

More like H.R. Giger counter, amirite?

#Monsterdon

"we can't open the curtains, that will tell other's we're here!"

#monsterdon

@amyfou Optimistically to keep the fallout from coming down?

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Larry
Larry
Larry

#Monsterdon

I'm unsure how french doors are protection from nuclear fallout

#monsterdon

Calling it, the dad killed Larry and wants to breed.....you know what I mean.

#Monsterdon

Launching my #monsterdon thread for #InTheYear2889! This week we are watching a movie that I guess takes place in the year 2889 according to some calendar and probably has a monster in it or something.

Anyway, monsterdon is the thing where we watch an old monster movie every week and make fun of it. Feel free to mute the hash tag if you don't want to see thousands of posts by me and others about that. Otherwise, enjoy the sauce?

Larry was everything, the universe was larry

#Monsterdon

I hope I hold at 47 👴

#Monsterdon

New York, Paris, Moscow ... I'm sure there are other locations probably

#monsterdon

WKRP in the Crater of Cincinatti

#monsterdon

This looks like a Fallout 76 type of nuclear Armageddon that has pine trees and fun stuff to do

#Monsterdon

Three billion people wiped out by nukes but fortunately the plants are fine

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

#monsterdon Ted is super constipated…

If you can hear the high pitch background squeal you passed this monsterdon hearing test.
#Monsterdon

Ted Johnson becomes a ghoul

#monsterdon

1000 nuclear bombs sounds like a lot

#monsterdon
#InTheYear2889

#monsterdon /waits for narrator to catch his breath

🎶 THE SUN IS HOT
/narrator speaks some more
🎶 THE SUN IS NOT A PLACE WHERE WE COULD LIVE

Taiwan was the flashpoint?

yikes!

#Monsterdon

Going to join #Monsterdon late, somebody write down everything that happens!

never eat a mushroom cloud unless you're 100% confident of the species

#Monsterdon

That's not how you pronounce Roentgens.
#Monsterdon

but it will be a *dry* heat

#Monsterdon

Not exactly a passage from the Bhagavad Gita. #monsterdon

Already very accurate to America doing anything International

#Monsterdon

This feels like a evangelical advert...

#Monsterdon

TV- PG

No titties for Dolemite

#Monsterdon

the "horrible menace" being the people who stole a baby kaiju, right?

#Monsterdon #WrongYear

#Monsterdon #WrongYear

They should say....

lil' kid's like: "I wish I'd never learned Japanese!"

#Monsterdon #WrongYear

This island is always dancing, it's like The Beach

#Monsterdon

@RachelThornSub@famichiki.jp as someone that always votes for the oldest movie, I second this @Taweret@timeloop.cafe #Monsterdon

A new kaiju egg is hatching. Happy pride month!
#Monsterdon #Gappa #TheTriphibianMonster

she tripped on the GAPpa...

#Monsterdon #WrongYear

RIP ancient cultural artifact.
#Monsterdon #Gappa #TheTriphibianMonster

A thing that has never occurred in history: Native people happy to see the invaders who mass-murdered their parents a generation ago.

"But we made a theme park land just for you!"

I'm not super amused by the blackface, but eh, it's the '60s. !timecapsule, you know?

And now, the ceremonial gravel quarry! Holy land of all B-movies!

The statue looks like their comic relief fisher guy.
#monsterdon #gappa

"In primitive races the most fearful thing is their god"

spicy take there lady!

#Monsterdon

I would have preferred if Larry took her into the fog and they lived happily radioactive ever after.

#monsterdon

@Louisa #Monsterdon

yeah but then you woulda missed the Writer's Barely-Disguised Fetish....

The people of North Sentinel Island have the right idea. You see strangers trying to contact your uncontacted tribe, you huck spears at them until they're dead.

#Monsterdon #Gappa

Gappa has more cinematography, acting, & music in the intro than all of Year 2889.

"We're going to steal animals & pretty girls from the South Seas. Ha ha Japanese imperialism is fun!"

OH, random island in the Pacific, that happens all the time.

#monsterdon #gappa

Should've gone with the "Winged god" ending.

#Monsterdon

The volcano teased in the main feature is here for the double feature!
#Monsterdon #Gappa #TheTriphibianMonster

I stupider cause watch this movie.

#Monsterdon

In the category of a Post Apocalyptic Movie spares the audience from a realistic depiction of the nuclear apocalypse I give #InTheYear2889 5 out of 5 stars. Too bad it barely depicted anything at all. Old guy prepper lectures a lot but seems to be singularly ineffective. None of the people seem to be taking their supposed peril all that seriously, even as one of them turns into a monster, and another turns out to be a murderer. You know what, I don't care either. Definitely a #Monsterdon to post about and not pay much attention to.

Thanks for the commentary, everyone. Thanks for hosting @Taweret . Thanks for the bingo card, @cherizilla . Thanks @miru for the stream.

Well team, great job, that's another movie launched into space but honestly this one should've been burned in the cornfield and I think we all know it.

Thanks as always to @Taweret for hosting.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Toto University gonna bless the rains down in the South Seas

#Monsterdon #WrongYear

the apocalypse being totally fine is certainly a choice. nobody seemed to really care that everyone else was dead, after the rain all the problems were solved. the monsters never even really attacked them, the only one that was prowling around was just joanna's fiancee. really the only problem in the whole movie was mickey.

#monsterdon

This concludes my #monsterdon thread for #InTheYear2889 , a movie that seemingly did not take place in the year 2889 and is less good than the one song that has kind of a similar title to it but is more catchy.

Thanks to everyone for attending this week's monsterdon!

@Violinknitter
I mean, yeah.
But I also reject the entire movie.

That was truly awful. And not in a fun way.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon And the religious stuff? What was the point of that? IT didn't go anywhere, and none of the characters was particularly religious anyway.

None of them seemed to take any particular inspiration or solace from reading the bible. It was just a thing they did to kill some time.

honestly that would be a weakness of extremely rapid evolution, that in the period of evolution you might not be exposed to a periodic environmental phenomenon that a longer evolutionary window would have selected for compatibility with. so really this movie is about the dangers of incomplete environmental conditions in controlled evolution experiments #monsterdon

@ColesStreetPothole We find out in the sequel "In the Year 2890"

#monsterdon

But what really happened to Jimothy? We never found out!
#Monsterdon

I'm going to check the nightmare box because that whole movie was a nightmare

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonBingo

@Lazarou Actually even a good or mid movie might break a ceasefire.

#monsterdon

I like how the monster is just an old guy with bad teeth

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

The BEGINNING!?

Oh HELL no.

THE END

So all they had to do was let it rain to kill the mutants, and the actual monster lived? Damn what a bummer!

Oh well the commentary on here made it bearable thanks everyone!

And thanks @Taweret for sharing this Dark Blue #Monsterdon with us!

Maybe the real monsters were the people who made this film.

#monsterdon

Thanks everyone for giving this film the respect it deserves!

#Monsterdon