BAD MOVIE! BAD!

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

"The real force of the Atom has never been calculated"

Einstein: "Am I a joke to you?"

#Monsterdon

wait what

anyway, ty for joining, everyone

#monsterdon

I want to personally apologize to #monsterdon for voting for that movie, I did not realize it was not set in the far future and was actually just set in the shitty shitty present that was our past. I should try to be a more educated voter.

Goodnight everybody, see y'all next week!

DON'T YOU "THE BEGINNING" ME YOU TERRIBLE MOVIE

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

I’d like to nominate “These bones are still moist!” for most upsetting line in cinema history. #Monsterdon

That's just how bad these writers were. This is the END you dipshits.
#monsterdon

And so they fucked off to… shit, I don't care where, as long as they. fucked. off.

Wow that was abominable. I lost like 15 sanity points watching this. Fucking hell. Although, as my partner points out, it was actually pretty easy to riff. So there's that.

Thanks for making it fun, fam, you guys are the best. Love ya'. Take care of each other. Be kind, spread love, watch better movies, and play games.

Goodnight!

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Yup. I was right. I regret watching that.

Same time again next week? #monsterdon

THIS ONE GOES IN THE CORNFIELD

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

"Its skin looked like rubber"

STOP TRYING TO COVER, MOVIE

#Monsterdon

THE

THE SPRING IS A PAVED POOL

HEY FUCK YOU MOVIE

#Monsterdon

IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY DAY-FOR-NIGHT #Monsterdon

I'm not sure how candidates for #Monsterdon films are chosen, but once again I appeal for choices from the 1930s and 1940s. There are so many great films from that era. The Old Dark House, Doctor X, The Mystery of the Wax Museum, The Ghoul, The Invisible Man, Sh! The Octopus...

I remember Joel Hodgson saying in an interview that there were some movies they never did on MST3k because they couldn't subject the writers to watching them multiple times to write jokes. It wouldn't surprise me if this was one of the movies he was referring to.

#monsterdon

Congratulations, everyone, for successfully making it through the year 2889 (except it's not the year 2889, I guess?) in the year 2026

Thanks to my inability to remember when I owe my spouse a date night, I joined y'all tonight through the magic of time travel (watching it hours ago and using scheduled posts), which somehow feels appropriate for a movie that doesn't take place when it purports to either

IT'S ALL LIES!

https://discuss.systems/@ricci/116749664505730357

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

I see we're deep in the Gross People Interacting part of the movie. #Monsterdon

"Tomorrow we start bathing in our only source of uncontaminated fresh water."

Ummmm....

#Monsterdon

Maybe this guy shouldn't have marked his house as "nuclear war survival bunker" on #OpenStreetMap

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon the more I think about it, the more I realize this movie's plot catalyst could have been "a weird comet crashed nearby" like all the 50s Monsterdons

i'm meeeeeelting i'm meeeeeeeeeeeeelting #Monsterdon

So if this is a million years of evolution in a short time, the implication is that we're evolving towards staggering, disintegrating ghouls?

#Monsterdon

The old guy was in charge of a ship during the nuke tests?

The title was an afterthought. This is really set in 1969. #monsterdon #intheyear2889

If only there was some way to determine who is on the other side of this glass door without opening it, guess let's just face possible death instead

#Monsterdon

@ottaross Prepper dad wasn’t even good at prepping. The house had no defenses whatsoever, and he should have been instructing Joanna from an earlier age.

#Monsterdon

There are two women in the world. Alienate the one who loves you in hope of landing the one who hates you? Bold plan, sir. #monsterdon #intheyear2889

“You’re the family now, dog” #Monsterdon

#monsterdon What kind of rich people nonsense if having a model of the landscape you live in?

Well. That's 80 minutes I'm not getting back.

Still thank all of you who endured it with us!

Perhaps next week's will be better.

#Monsterdon

And then suddenly the rain scared the monster away and everyone was happy. THE END

#Monsterdon

I think I broke my neck in that car crash of an ending #Monsterdon

They've got less than ten minutes to get to the year 2889, I don't think they're gonna make it. #Monsterdon

Aaaand murder

#Monsterdon

Leave drunk hillbilly alone, getting drunk and dancing with a pretty girl is perhaps the most sensible reaction to Armageddon. #monsterdon #intheyear2889

It's the drunk aunt at the wedding dance! #Monsterdon

Oh get eaten already will you please. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

This movie’s really got me rooting for the extinction of humanity. #Monsterdon

"You've given me a deep feeling of responsibility to mankind"

Which I clearly didn't have before, being an army man. Kill 'Em All Jimmy they called me!

#Monsterdon

I'm afraid Grange has...

Gone out of range

#monsterdon

Ooo I hate "oh you're just a silly woman, your eyes cannot be trusted, after all you have emotions and shit"

Die -_-

#Monsterdon

Wow, we ALMOST had something happen there. Oh well, put the plot point back in the fridge to reheat later. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Oh, when he said "spring-fed pool", he mean an actual swimming pool fed by a spring?

That's really tacky. Don't do that.

"A thousand generations of change could take place in a matter of weeks!"

No, your DNA just unravels like a ball of yarn. Sorry, chief.

#Monsterdon

"These bones are still moist."

MOIST BONES

#Monsterdon

"Just raw meat and no shower please!"
RFK Jr. is that you??

#Monsterdon

"Larry didn't come."

Sorry, honey, your man's dead :D

#Monsterdon

Oh look. It's the same nuclear blast we always see. #monsterdon #intheyear2889

At least they're not quoting Oppenheimer.

@jadebees @Taweret @cherizilla In that sense #InTheYear2889 is a masterpiece.

The prepper is in way over his head;
has absolutely no conception of genetics and is happy to lean on the bible when his rudimentary coffee-table-book knowledge about radioactivity hits its limits;
and likes the idea of being in charge a lot more than he understands the implications of his decisions.

Truth in television.

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

That movie was so bad I think it broke a ceasefire

#Monsterdon

What qualifies as the worst movie of the year is ambiguous, but this was definitely in the running

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

That ATOMIC FIEND!

#Monsterdon

They couldn't afford a Theremin, so they've got someone offstage humming into a comb and tissue paper. #Monsterdon

"This thing is MAN sized!"

It's a full-size Snickers! #Monsterdon

"Easy Jimothy. Just a rabbit."

ELMER SEASON!

#Monsterdon

This obscene music and dancing!

#monsterdon
#InTheYear2889

This is all gonna end with the daughter donning power armor to fight an Omega Mutant in the cargo bay.

#Monsterdon

"Three of those animals lived through it"
Godzilla, Rodan, and Gamera?

#monsterdon

Please please please let one of these drawings be a dickbutt

#Monsterdon

YES, every movie needs a beach or swimming scene so the female cast can get almost-nekkid!

When they said "pool", I thought natural pool. Nope, just a swimming pool, implausibly cleaned without a poolboy.

Do you believe in mental telepathy? No, these characters would need mental processes first.

The first taste is never good, like this movie.

#monsterdon #year2889

This Nicky guy is what happens when you use CHA as your dump stat then OD on Andrew Tate

#Monsterdon

don't drink don't smoke
what do y'do?
y'don't drink don't smoke
what do y'do?

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

"We'll all be dead. Or like Granger."

A furry!

#Monsterdon

"These bones are still moist!"

D... Don't say it that way :/

#Monsterdon

This is a actually documentary about RFK JR I see

#Monsterdon

Oh, there IS a monster in this movie in addition to the usual one (humankind)

#Monsterdon

That's what YOU think... Heh. Heh heh heh. MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!

#Monsterdon

@ricci einstein's equations were wrong and never accounted for the excess of freaky monster guy energy in the atom #monsterdon

"we saw Night of the Living Dead and thought hey, let's do *nuclear* zombies without any icky social commentary." #monsterdon #intheyear2889

#monsterdon There is no Los Angeles, there is only Zuul.

Eeek! A cowboy!

#Monsterdon

"But you confirmed our Airbnb reservation!"

#Monsterdon

@wulfric I was on team Mutant Fiancée Larry #Monsterdon

@L1vY@mstdn.social He meant get the special lager out of the store room.
#monsterdon

And as another movie ends with all the grace of a plane crash, we say aloha to one really awful film. As always, just one last thing to do before you leave the theater:

Was IN THE YEAR 2889 (1967) the WORST #MONSTERDON MOVIE OF THE YEAR?

Jfc. I looked down to type something snarky and the movie ended. Did the woman have a baby? Does it get its own gun?

What the 🤬

#Monsterdon

I demand an Inquiry

#Monsterdon

Nosfe-Rad-tu

#monsterdon

Sure am glad we get to see the biggest immediate threat let off the hook again and again. Sure ramps up the, uh. Tension. I guess. Not at all frustrating.

>_>

#Monsterdon

[sad swimming noises]

#Monsterdon

finally! Proper mutants, with made-up faces.

Weird how "a million year of evolution" always goes in the direction of eating raw meat.

#monsterdon #intheyear2889

"Don't touch him. He's hot."

Like Fabio!

#Monsterdon

"Don't touch him, he's hot"

I'll say 🫦

#Monsterdon

35 more minutes of this dreck

bone moisture decreasing 📉

#Monsterdon

There's a certain amount of tension between dad's Go Make Babies For The Good Of Mankind and his Oh But Get Married First Like a Good Christian

#Monsterdon

"They should bear children as soon as possible"

the writer's barely concealed fetish.jpg

#Monsterdon

Feels like an episode of “All My Circuits”

#monsterdon
#InTheYear2889

If pointing the Geiger counter at Granger measures 740 Roentgens, doesn’t that mean he is *emitting* 740 R, not that he was *exposed to* 740 R? Like perhaps he is contaminated with radioactive dust measuring 740 R?

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Was this movie created on a dare to shoot an entire movie in a rich guy's house and yard?

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Just like Pulp Fiction I bet they made up some random verses.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon I mean, I realize that they think the wind is in their favor or whatever.

But in the event of nuclear war, I would still recommend at least closing the windows, and not going outside for long romantic strolls.

Grange is slowly mutating into James Coburn

#Monsterdon

WABBIT SEASON!
#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Really it's impressive how werewolf bro can sneak out of the house multiple times without coming BACK to the house first. #Monsterdon

sure would be awkward if Larry showed up

oohhhh that mutant we saw, could it be ... ?

#monsterdon

is it good when a plot abruptly jumps 3 weeks into the future because the writers can't really think of any way to move the story along naturally

Asking for a #Monsterdon

"He's a FREAK"

Damn, bigotry against ghouls started early.

#Monsterdon

So, what happens when they run out of cigarettes?

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Dammit Jim I'm a doctor not a radiation safety officer.
#monsterdon