Dammit Jim I'm a doctor not a radiation safety officer.
#monsterdon

SOUNDTRACK AVAILABLE ON TINNITUS RECORDS
#monsterdon

The plantation bunker house is safe from radiation because there is lead in the hills nearby. That makes no sense to me but physics is normally waived during #monsterdon movies anyway.

#InTheYear2889

Thanks for cleaning the scrambled eggs off of me.

Scrambled eggs all OVER my face… what is a boy to do?

#monsterdon
#InTheYear2889

Oh hey, HO-scale apocalypse! #Monsterdon

George Romero's Night of the Living Bores

#monsterdon

Love how the man with the apocalypse mansion just keeps the doors unlocked....

#Monsterdon

Dad, you think *everyone* is contaminated with “woke”

#monsterdon
#InTheYear2889

Three million people dead? Nobody's left?

If the world population is that low, why are we fighting at all? #monsterdon #intheyear2889

And now, we're in a peaceful backyard listening to birds and the last radio transmission.

"Maybe there's no one left to hear my voice"

No, I can hear you. Unfortunately. #Monsterdon

awww, look at the Pterodactyl!

#Monsterdon

RE: https://mastodon.murkworks.net/@moira/116751735716018479

Co-signed

#Monsterdon

No more roentgens in my mentions,

#Monsterdon

Ok I now have a winner as the worst movie I ever saw. Dances with Wolves has now been dethroned. Wut?????
My first of these offerings and, unforgettable.
Wut????
#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

RE: https://timeloop.cafe/@bunnyhero/116751729929307501

Best review

#Monsterdon

RE: https://retro.pizza/@trixter/116751730180618278

Absolute bastard movie. Call the ICC

#Monsterdon

So, we should also watch THE DAY THE WORLD ENDED (1955), right?

To see the less-bad Corman movie this one was ripping off?

#Monsterdon

Not the regular Luger, the SPECIAL Luger

#Monsterdon

What!? And it's over? Ha!

And the missing foley/sound-effects didn't even get the pivotal gunshots that wrapped up the movie! Ha ha.

#Monsterdon

.....wow. fuck right off.

#monsterdon

Hahaha guess who is AFRAID to fuck off into the sea?

Twist worthy of M Night.

Oh wait he did it, actually

#Monsterdon

you should have shot him when you had the chance John, you nazi clown

#Monsterdon

...If there's no other way? Does the old man think she's gonna get bit and turn into a mutant? #Monsterdon

I wonder what Godzilla is doing now.

#Monsterdon

Am I my exotic-dancer girlfriend's keeper?

#Monsterdon

This wasn't in the bible.

#Monsterdon

Monster please kill this guy

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

go into that fog, Tim. Maybe there's booze in the fog. #monsterdon #intheyear2889

So Mickey don't drink, don't smoke, what do he do

#Monsterdon

"Don't go into that fog!" he says, going into that fog

#Monsterdon

Gotta cut away from the action quick! We almost had a plot point happen on-screen! D: #Monsterdon

"Good night"

But it's 1pm, I-- Oh, Day for Night again. #Monsterdon

Take Steve's cigarettes away and he'll be naked on the roof, howling at the moon

#Monsterdon

NO FUN ALLOWED

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889 🎥🧻 #MonsterdonBingo

#monsterdon The bulbous head, the hairy sack underneath…

"They should bear children as soon as possible" --he's getting grosser by the minute

#Monsterdon

gadget? are you referring to a key as a gadget?

#Monsterdon

"The women should bear children as soon as possible!"

Ew :/

#Monsterdon

"They should bear children as soon as possible"

PLEASE FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF OLD COOT

#monsterdon

It’s at least 20 minutes since Generalissimo Prepper talked about updrafts and I’m starting to get confused on the premise. #Monsterdon

Mental telepathy, as opposed to the other kind of telepathy

#Monsterdon

Grange is very representative of the film. Radioactive, and wandering aimlessly.

#Monsterdon

Meanwhile at the moonshine still in extra blue day for night.
#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Mickey is sooooooooo creepy.

Push him in the river

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe i hate re-heated plot points

#monsterdon

So we got one plot point in half an hour. Did they have to ration those, too? #Monsterdon

It's been three weeks and they're out of fresh water. So he had water for two people for… a few months, at the outside?

I guess since there's a source nearby you don't need that much, but hm

#Monsterdon

Elvis tells John that the bible has the answers to everything because this movie is also a Chick tract, but with added mutants.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

#monsterdon You know it's an exciting movie when they interrupt the action for a bible study group.

EVOLUTION DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

That wasn't a rabbit, it was a Crunch bar :D #Monsterdon

"oh these past few week with you… just off-camera…"

#Monsterdon

Outside a bird is flying and a mutant klingon is skulking in the jungle.

Meanwhile, inside the dumbass bedroom, two of the surviving boys are saying they heard coyotes (probably radioactive) and one of them is sick of canned food and wants to eat meat.

We then see the ranger outside being stalked by a mutant klingon.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Granger is trying ACTING. Wonder if anyone else will make an attempt.
#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

"Dramatic pause" is on my #MonsterdonBingo card.

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889 🎥🧻

So, uh, the 2889 apparently doesn't mean anything. It's a left over title from another work (an adaptation of a Jules Verne story) that was never made by the studio.

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Oddly… sexual way of saying “That’s what YOU think”🤔

#monsterdon
#InTheYear2889

lol, this dude really likes his meat

#Monsterdon

oh my, the mutant fioncee has arrived and is hungry for squirrel

#Monsterdon

The real power of WHICH atom? There's a couple different ones, Bob.

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

So this doesn't feel like the year 2889. #Monsterdon

My god theres two more radiations than last night.
#monsterdon

Yes, let's explain the basics of nuclear annihilation to the 1969 audience. And geothermal fallout resistance.

#monsterdon #intheyear2889

There better be a radioactive zombie or something, otherwise this sux.
#monsterdon

🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧

47 wrenches

#monsterdon
#InTheYear2889

"The nukes have fallen. Let me preen on the balcony!" #monsterdon #intheyear2889

"I got big things in LA"

Chief LA doesn't exist anymore. It's goo.

#Monsterdon

He's a little bulky for a Torgo, but you use what you've got. #Monsterdon

How can I know what’s in that guy’s jug unless it says “XXX” on the side? #Monsterdon

Yeeeep, sure am glad I built this REMOTE HOUSE in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, where NOBODY would just WANDER BY

certainly not AN ENTIRE CAST OF THOUSANDS in the FIRST FIFTEEN MINUTES

#Monsterdon

🦖MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️ APOCALYPTIC TRIVIA 🌏🔥

What's in a name?
All promotional materials for tonight's feature, including the All-Important TV Guide, use the title "Year 2889." But, as you saw, the onscreen credits are actually "In the Year 2889."

Similar attention to detail was applied to every facet of our film.

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Bold of old man here to assume a locked door with panes of glass is gonna stop any post-apoc critters or raiders.

#monsterdon

He's gonna sit down in his chair and wait for the frogs to come kill him. #Monsterdon

Seven hundred forty wrenchens!!

#Monsterdon

740!? He should be A PUDDLE

#Monsterdon

This doesn't look very future-y

#Monsterdon

"Don't touch him!"

He's gross!

#Monsterdon

Oh, they have a photo of The Average Man. Finally let him out of the vault in Svarlbad, huh? #Monsterdon

NGL this post nuclear world looks pretty great so far

#Monsterdon

AND KTLA IS THERE

#Monsterdon

three billion people murdered by nuclear bombs... but the Dow closed up 3%

#Monsterdon

Oh, so this movie picks right up where Dr. Strangelove leaves, nice.

I guess I don't blame them for not springing for the rights to "We'll Meet Again"

#Monsterdon

♫ IN THE YEAR 2889 ♪

♫ IF MAN IS STILL A uh SPINE ♪

#Monsterdon

American International TELEVISION? This is a TV movie? Ripoff! #Monsterdon

Oh, you're going to steal a giant egg, aren't you?

When will Humanity learn!

#Monsterdon

This cave needs a rave...

#Monsterdon

Just walk right on ahead and desecrate their holy site, I mean they're only island people, aren't they?

Oh now look what you've done!

#Monsterdon

@diazona revenge #Monsterdon

@TerryHancock It would be almost impossible for next week's movie to not be better

If that happens, it'd honestly be impressive, except that we might not survive

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

"let's just mix a load of Indigenous cultures together and maybe a bit of Brownface, it'll be fine"

Colonisers....

...they're after the island as well, aren't they?

#Monsterdon

RE: https://mastodon.social/@Newpa_Hasai/116751733334515059

easily the front runner for the year, this movie was a disgrace

#Monsterdon

I award #InTheYear2889 0 out of 5 brilliantly lit night time swimming pools.

The most you can say for it is that some stuff happened in it. The most you can say for the characters is that some of them sometimes approached being almost likeable. The monster threat was rather unthreatening.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

That one would definitely be in the running if we did #WorstMonsterdon again.

#Monsterdon

@paco perhaps we should have watched the movie backwards and it'd be better

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Maybe that was just a very bad print? Missing an audio channel?

#Monsterdon

@Taweret cheers. I need a shower I think... #Monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie #Monsterdon

Yeah. As in: "WHO TF voted for this movie??!!??"

@skatem #Monsterdon

If only the abrupt ending had come 45 minutes ago....

Maybe it's a failed pilot for a TV show, not just a failed movie.
Anyway, thanks @Taweret for hosting :D #monsterdon