oh my, the mutant fioncee has arrived and is hungry for squirrel

#Monsterdon

The real power of WHICH atom? There's a couple different ones, Bob.

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

well judging from the background noise

I THINK BIRDS SURVIVED

#monsterdon

So this doesn't feel like the year 2889. #Monsterdon

My god theres two more radiations than last night.
#monsterdon

SOUNDTRACK AVAILABLE ON TINNITUS RECORDS
#monsterdon

The plantation bunker house is safe from radiation because there is lead in the hills nearby. That makes no sense to me but physics is normally waived during #monsterdon movies anyway.

#InTheYear2889

Yes, let's explain the basics of nuclear annihilation to the 1969 audience. And geothermal fallout resistance.

#monsterdon #intheyear2889

There better be a radioactive zombie or something, otherwise this sux.
#monsterdon

🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧🔧

47 wrenches

#monsterdon
#InTheYear2889

"The nukes have fallen. Let me preen on the balcony!" #monsterdon #intheyear2889

"I got big things in LA"

Chief LA doesn't exist anymore. It's goo.

#Monsterdon

awaiting for this to become Donner Party: 2889

#monsterdon

He's a little bulky for a Torgo, but you use what you've got. #Monsterdon

How can I know what’s in that guy’s jug unless it says “XXX” on the side? #Monsterdon

Yeeeep, sure am glad I built this REMOTE HOUSE in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, where NOBODY would just WANDER BY

certainly not AN ENTIRE CAST OF THOUSANDS in the FIRST FIFTEEN MINUTES

#Monsterdon

Love how the man with the apocalypse mansion just keeps the doors unlocked....

#Monsterdon

Bold of old man here to assume a locked door with panes of glass is gonna stop any post-apoc critters or raiders.

#monsterdon

He's gonna sit down in his chair and wait for the frogs to come kill him. #Monsterdon

Seven hundred forty wrenchens!!

#Monsterdon

740!? He should be A PUDDLE

#Monsterdon

This doesn't look very future-y

#Monsterdon

"Don't touch him!"

He's gross!

#Monsterdon

Oh, they have a photo of The Average Man. Finally let him out of the vault in Svarlbad, huh? #Monsterdon

NGL this post nuclear world looks pretty great so far

#Monsterdon

AND KTLA IS THERE

#Monsterdon

three billion people murdered by nuclear bombs... but the Dow closed up 3%

#Monsterdon

Oh, so this movie picks right up where Dr. Strangelove leaves, nice.

I guess I don't blame them for not springing for the rights to "We'll Meet Again"

#Monsterdon

♫ IN THE YEAR 2889 ♪

♫ IF MAN IS STILL A uh SPINE ♪

#Monsterdon

American International TELEVISION? This is a TV movie? Ripoff! #Monsterdon

This cave needs a rave...

#Monsterdon

Just walk right on ahead and desecrate their holy site, I mean they're only island people, aren't they?

Oh now look what you've done!

#Monsterdon

awww, look at the Pterodactyl!

#Monsterdon

@TerryHancock It would be almost impossible for next week's movie to not be better

If that happens, it'd honestly be impressive, except that we might not survive

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

@wulfric I was on team Mutant Fiancée Larry #Monsterdon

"let's just mix a load of Indigenous cultures together and maybe a bit of Brownface, it'll be fine"

Colonisers....

...they're after the island as well, aren't they?

#Monsterdon

the main advantage of tonight's #monsterdon has been that now the next movie everyone sees is bound to be better.

#InTheYear2889

@lalah This is an excellent question.

#monsterdon

RE: https://mastodon.social/@Newpa_Hasai/116751733334515059

easily the front runner for the year, this movie was a disgrace

#Monsterdon

The best character was... um... I dunno... the rabbit that one of the mutants ate I guess.

The worst character was John, who was supposed to be the hero/mentor figure I guess but his main hobby was urging the Elvis impersonator to murder. The other characters were also bad.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

I blame Joanna for this whole fiasco. Prepper Dad had it all worked out. But that wasn't good enough for Joanna.

#Monsterdon

So he wants Steve to shoot his daughter, to save her from "a fate worse than death"? Did he ever ask if that's what she wants? All the men in this movie are the worst

#Monsterdon

RE: https://retro.pizza/@xerozohar/116751729771946759

Better still!

#Monsterdon

That one would definitely be in the running if we did #WorstMonsterdon again.

#Monsterdon

@paco perhaps we should have watched the movie backwards and it'd be better

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

@combatwombat @Taweret Nah, that's Planet Earth. Which was only bad because Gene Roddenberry couldn't stop being weird about gender

#Monsterdon

Maybe that was just a very bad print? Missing an audio channel?

#Monsterdon

@Violinknitter burn it all down #Monsterdon

Maybe it's a failed pilot for a TV show, not just a failed movie.
Anyway, thanks @Taweret for hosting :D #monsterdon

and we fucked off into THE BEGINNING

now let's forget this film ever existed.

actually, no, let's remember it's BAD and never watch it again.

#monsterdon

ugh

#monsterdon

"It was Larry"

called it an hour ago

And now they casually discuss genocide....

The End

#Monsterdon

Yes yes, the Impure can't exist alongside The Chosen Pure Ones blah blah don't mix genes, d- HEY WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE END??? #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe what a world

#monsterdon

Oh grandpa, better put the safety on before you tuck the gun in down there :x #Monsterdon

Is the mutant fiancée going to melt in the rain?

Or transform into a winged god?

#Monsterdon

The, uh, monster. He's like if a butler was a rubber mask. #Monsterdon

I always sleep on the couch with the lights on and with a gun in my hand like all real American men

#monsterdon
#InTheYear2889

Luger, I hardly...

Eh.

Nah.

#Monsterdon

The dingo out there's got my baby!

#monsterdon

"It was once a man? It's trying to communicate? Kill it!" #monsterdon #intheyear2889

Jesus, dad #Monsterdon

One of the other boys I don't care about tries to rape the daughter in the woods, but the other girl (his GF/wife/partner, I guess) yells at him, giving her a chance to run away. She then tries to tempt him to having a nice midnight swim instead, even though it's always daytime in this movie. He is not interested so she goes swimming on her own while he creepily skulks around.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

He's CROUCHING IN PLAIN SIGHT #Monsterdon

"Let's go take a moonlight swim" and get EATEN BY CREATURES

PLEASE

#Monsterdon

This movie is teaching me that bombs should be dropped directly on men in general

#Monsterdon

@wohali lolwat

That's so bizarre that the sound would be in some copies and not others

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Not any more 😳

And there goes the jug, the precious jug

#Monsterdon

it's your mutant fiancée, come to rescue you from gaslighting Steve

#Monsterdon

The mutant in the bushes is Larry, isn't it

#Monsterdon

More things pretended to happen in this movie. The ranger guy got drunk, one girl had a jazz dance party in the living room, and then the ranger got his jug broke. John uses this to wax melancholy on the evils of alcohol, and the ranger walks into the woods.

John tells him not to go into the secret food vault and if he goes he will be killed and then chases him with a gun to prove it.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

"Now my whole family has gone"

delivered like a catalogue model

#Monsterdon

@bstacey the best mixing that no money can buy

#Monsterdon

OK movie, did you leave the audio in your other pants?

#Monsterdon

He is most definitely NOT hot

#Monsterdon

@whiskeysailor so far nothing has happened in this movie after the first five minutes and all you probably missed was people farting around and subtext about eugenics

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

"I had no idea he was an alcoholic"

you're a terrible judge of character

#Monsterdon

I bet those are 10x50 binoculars

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

is the next scene going to be a baby crawling in the ceiling

#monsterdon

I'm starting to peel, too. Like a sunburn. #Monsterdon

Gettin' sauced and procreatin' is in the bible too...ask Lot.

#Monsterdon

Elvis and John discover a radioactive mutant lying in the woods complaining that the others wouldn't give him any food. From this encounter they deduce that the radioactive mutants come in four stages and the fourth stage is invincible for some reason.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

As a non-drinker, this is how irritating drunks are...

#Monsterdon

I've got stage 4 monsterosis, Doc.

#Monsterdon

I am sending a message to the cursed reality of this movie with my thoughts, and that message is "7 people is not enough to repopulate a species" so please calm the fuck down.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

STRANGE BONES

MOIST BONES!

#monsterdon

"One must imagine Adam & Eve radioactive."

#Monsterdon

The re-recording is terrible and apparently they couldn't afford a foley artist. The scenes are strangely silent except for background music and the re-recorded voices.

#Monsterdon

I know what would improve this movie now.

Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf.

#monsterdon

John lectures his daughter and tells her to marry Steve and have lots of babies. She says "no" because she doesn't want to, and then says "yes" because her mind is easily changed by bad dialog.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

okay I guess the implication here is that he's *fabricating* a key by whittling

despite the key he held up clearly being metallic

whatever.

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ

At least it's not Communion-long

#Monsterdon

Not if you were the last Steve on Earth

#monsterdon
#InTheYear2889

"I want you to marry Steve"

Dad is pure Gilead

#Monsterdon

the score being mixed so low this entire time is cracking me up

budget on this thing was probably like $15 and free sandwiches.

#Monsterdon

@klu9 God. If I had drawn them... #monsterdon

"You've given me care about mankind. That is: RACISM" #Monsterdon

STRANGELOVE

#monsterdon

The Director: Tell, don’t show

#monsterdon
#InTheYear2889

"Steve....you're like the son I never had, ...do you want to see my drawings of mutant rats?"

#Monsterdon