20 more minutes until we can see the abrupt ending and be done with this

#Monsterdon

@bstacey the best mixing that no money can buy

#Monsterdon

OK movie, did you leave the audio in your other pants?

#Monsterdon

He is most definitely NOT hot

#Monsterdon

@whiskeysailor so far nothing has happened in this movie after the first five minutes and all you probably missed was people farting around and subtext about eugenics

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

"I had no idea he was an alcoholic"

you're a terrible judge of character

#Monsterdon

I bet those are 10x50 binoculars

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

A better movie would have Jada shoot or stab Mickey here in this scene at the climax of her story.

Alas, the script just says [some bullshit happens and the next scene starts]

#Monsterdon

is the next scene going to be a baby crawling in the ceiling

#monsterdon

I'm starting to peel, too. Like a sunburn. #Monsterdon

Gettin' sauced and procreatin' is in the bible too...ask Lot.

#Monsterdon

Elvis and John discover a radioactive mutant lying in the woods complaining that the others wouldn't give him any food. From this encounter they deduce that the radioactive mutants come in four stages and the fourth stage is invincible for some reason.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

As a non-drinker, this is how irritating drunks are...

#Monsterdon

Radioactive contamination makes you do woodland parkour I guess

#Monsterdon

I've got stage 4 monsterosis, Doc.

#Monsterdon

I am sending a message to the cursed reality of this movie with my thoughts, and that message is "7 people is not enough to repopulate a species" so please calm the fuck down.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

STRANGE BONES

MOIST BONES!

#monsterdon

"One must imagine Adam & Eve radioactive."

#Monsterdon

The re-recording is terrible and apparently they couldn't afford a foley artist. The scenes are strangely silent except for background music and the re-recorded voices.

#Monsterdon

I know what would improve this movie now.

Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf.

#monsterdon

John lectures his daughter and tells her to marry Steve and have lots of babies. She says "no" because she doesn't want to, and then says "yes" because her mind is easily changed by bad dialog.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Not if you were the last Steve on Earth

#monsterdon
#InTheYear2889

"I want you to marry Steve"

Dad is pure Gilead

#Monsterdon

@klu9 God. If I had drawn them... #monsterdon

"You've given me care about mankind. That is: RACISM" #Monsterdon

STRANGELOVE

#monsterdon

The Director: Tell, don’t show

#monsterdon
#InTheYear2889

"Steve....you're like the son I never had, ...do you want to see my drawings of mutant rats?"

#Monsterdon

the best whiskey in these mountains of nondescript California.

#monsterdon

Psychic powers after the apocalypse? Okay

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Steve sits like he's posing for a catalogue

#Monsterdon

Personally I'd never trust a guy that wore a turtleneck to the apocalypse

#Monsterdon

"this place is cursed, and I must kill your brother to lift it"

#monsterdon

Baths are keeping them alive? Huh?
#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

"We can all take turns, bathing there"

Oh we see what you're up to....

#Monsterdon

Chekhov's biblical flood

#Monsterdon

I would so murder this old dude and make myself king, just to shut him up....

#Monsterdon

Yeah, the Bible never turned no one into a monster. Not once

#Monsterdon

"He's a mutation, a freak of the new atomic world!" That's quite a leap from "not observed eating" and "spending nights outdoors"

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon For all their preparedness, they sure aren't worried about not breathing any fallout.

"look, we're in radioactive hellworld, just smoke indoors"

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Steve, have you noticed your brother has become a monster?

YIKES!!

Not squorl

#Monsterdon

Quick, Drunkman! Use your alcoholic bolos to defeat the monster!

#Monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow SAME #monsterdon

Rancher's infinite jug of hooch

#Monsterdon

"I've gotta have some meat!"

WHERE'S THE BEEF?!

#Monsterdon

RUN, KING ARTHUR SHAPESHIFTED INTO A SQUIRREL, THEY'RE SHOOTING DAY FOR NIGHT! #Monsterdon

MONSTER!

#monsterdon

we're still in the "atomic radiation is magic" era of movie science

#Monsterdon

Oh no I have a premonition that this is going to be one of those #monsterdon movies where there are a whole bunch of characters and all of them suck and we're supposed to care about the hyper-specific drama between them, oh no.

#InTheYear2889

GHOSTS OF THE RADIOACTIVE DEAD

ARE CALLING COLLECT

#monsterdon

I… I don't like any of these people.

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

"She's a SLUT, I'm a WASTREL, we were BUILT IN A LAB TO ANNOY YOU"

#Monsterdon

I’m sure it’s fine that the heavily irradiated guy wants raw meat and hates water. #Monsterdon

well, brother here looks a little pasty, but HEALING

#monsterdon

I'm sorry he wants steak tartar? #Monsterdon #InTheYear2889 🎥🧻

Oh, you built a model.

So you're insane

#Monsterdon

We ought to think through
what are the bad things
that could happen,
and what are the good things
that could happen
that we need to be ready for

-type beat

#Monsterdon

Grandpa's got two lines. #Monsterdon

Then a guy with radiation burns crashes in the doors and the old guy is like "don't touch him he has the radiation" but they're amazed that he's still alive and then an Elvis impersonator shows up and says the burn guy is his brother.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

This man's optimism is admirable.

"We're all gonna die anyway."

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889 🎥🧻

@xerozohar #Monsterdon

Night of the Living Houseguests

Offensive pantsuit patterns of the post apocalypse!

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

The whole movie is just people coming in that he doesn't have provisions for.
#monsterdon

I do love proving the gun's loaded by shooting holes in my own floor, ayup

#monsterdon

So is this like the ONLY house up here or...? #Monsterdon

Waiting For Goo-dot

#monsterdon
#InTheYear2889

this acting isn't wooden

it's RADIOACTIVE

huehuehuehue

#monsterdon

I think the Dad wanted this apocalypse...

#Monsterdon

the radiation is measured in wrenchin's

#Monsterdon

There’s a curtain, did you consider looking through the door before opening it? #Monsterdon

GHOUL, CALLED IT

#monsterdon

Oh, months. Yeah, that'll be enough to wait out the nuclear apocalypse. #Monsterdon

I can face the apocalypse as long as I’ve got my shawl-collared cardigan.#Monsterdon

I would say this movie is fuzzy AF, but then again this was made for NTSC TV.
#monsterdon

Nuclear war is "a thief in the night", is it, voiceover? You do you, I guess.

#Monsterdon

I guess I'll play #MonsterdonBingo. How bad can it be?

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889 🎥🧻

A graphic representation of my stomach after eating chili. #Monsterdon

💣 TURN DOWN YOUR LIGHTS 💣

(we glow in the dark)

#Monsterdon

"Will you find me a new Mom? How about you marry the help, like on The Nanny?"

Secret monster door! Mom & Dad monster!

Is that the moral of this, that a baby (girl or monster) needs parents?

UGH, now it's doing day-for-night, too. I hate this. Just make everything be in day.

Toy submarine sighted! Water doesn't behave right at that scale.

#monsterdon #gappa

@diazona I figured with the Paciffic, if the Europeans hadn't done something horrible to them then the Japanese would. You can see why Islands need Monsters to protect them!

#Monsterdon

@diazona revenge #Monsterdon

@diazona @TerryHancock #Monsterdon #WrongYear

idk... democracy has this way of being perpetually disappointing...

there is a tragic subplot of the rancher guy that finally got everything he wanted in the love of the beautiful woman, but his crippling alcoholism sent him back into the fog. completely un-commented on in the text of the movie though, the movie would have otherwise been exactly the same if he was not in it. #monsterdon

already a better model than the previous movie

#Monsterdon

In the Year 2889! Mankind learns to scamper off before I can say something scathing. Thanks as always to @Taweret for renting grandma's house for an apocalyptic showing, and special thanks to the #Monsterdon crew for all the canned beef.

...I'm gonna go get higher than a silk hat on Sunday. 🫩

FROGS WAS BETTER THAN THIS, which is a sentence I never wanted to say

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

For reasons that are stupid, the mutant who kidnapped the daughter was her fiance, Larry. And he died because the water killed him because he was a witch now.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

Movies made before seatbelt laws were enacted should come to gentler stops, to avoid harming the audience.
#Monsterdon

That's how it ends? What about the monster?

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889 🎥🧻

Freaking finally. And END. Woah! We're used to sudden stops here but I think that one takes a prize. Thank to @Taweret for hosting. Have a great week beautiful mutants. You can have some raw meat as a treat. #Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

@CactuarJoe was it even and ending?! #Monsterdon

Back in the plantation, John asks the creepy guy threatening him with a gun to measure the rain water outside to see how radioactive it is, and he obeys for some reason. We learn that the rain water has no radioactivity and I guess that's why the mutant is afraid of water, and then it rains and I guess the mutant dies.

Then Mr Creeper announces that he will then kill Elvis and claim the one surviving girl for himself.

#monsterdon #InTheYear2889

that was very poor, on every level

#Monsterdon

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a slightly less bad guy with a gun

#Monsterdon

THE END! Hope that wasn't too abrupt for anyone.

#Monsterdon #InTheYear2889

No. Absolutely not. I reject that “ending”

#Monsterdon

attacked by mutant, scream, and faint. Classic.

All that's left is to reveal the mutant is the lost fiancee. #monsterdon #intheyear2889

Pure Water (bad, REALLY bad)

#monsterdon