I really liked the monster in this one, and the main cast was pretty good, but the execution was all over the place just enough to qualify for Monsterdon. Roll credits!
Thanks @Taweret for hosting!
@moira amazing can you just disconnect train cars while they are in motion like that #monsterdon
that was great, much better than when i watched one of the many crappy dvd copies ages ago. thanks @Taweret ! #monsterdon
As the train goes over the cliff, we hear Momma shouting
"OOWWEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNN"
#monsterdon #HorrorExpress
Turns out it was actually the explodium express. #monsterdon
...Kind of an oddly Shaft beat for a pullout to orbit, but sure, why not. #Monsterdon
I gotta say, if I got a telegram telling me to destroy a train full of people, I probably would not do it.
here's a picture of earth so that when we poke your eyeball, we'll have something nice to look at. #monsterdon
So ends another #Monsterdon. As always, thanks to @Taweret and all the posters and lurkers. And remember #Monsterdoners: Ahhh, we have lots of innocent monks.
wait did they just trolley problem the monster away
god damn
#monsterdon
"FIN" in the Star Trek TNG font
but only part of the train?????? actually genuinely confused because i was off trying to find the soundtrack #monsterdon
I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. Itβs the only way to be sure.
and our thruple makes it through! happiness and long life too all three of them. #monsterdon
We just happen to have a spur line the goes over a cliff.
@strangefour He died doing what he loved - stealing a scene #monsterdon
Convenient that they laid track right off a cliff, just in case
Oh, convenient. They've got a cliff RIGHT THERE, seems a shame not to make use. #Monsterdon
Me too, man. Me too
I think "he loved you more than he loved the promise of heaven" is a quote from Milton π
@Zerofactorial Clear Eyes, smooth brains #Monsterdon
Monster's got a whole squad and a funky new version of their theme. Is this one going to be a win for the baddie, or will the protagonists pull off some assorted nonsense in the remaining 4 minutes?
For a man of science he is quite an adept killer. #Monsterdon
So this whole time
The train conductor/driver/coal shoveler doesn't know any of this is going on, right?
@CactuarJoe Gotta wrap up the adventure with an exciting climax. If you can't have Cthulhu rize from the ocean might as well go with a zombie army.
#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress
Oh no, don't resurrect Telly.
@Lazarou That just shows how dedicated they are to their duty #monsterdon
(man, those white contacts must have been absolutely wretched to wear tho.) #monsterdon
necromancy! #monsterdon
Oh hey, now we got zombies
Murder on the Parasite Express
ZOMBIE KOJACK!
#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress
oops, shoulda killed him, mr britain. #monsterdon
"I will teach you to end disease, pain, hunger!" But not mass murder, demonstrably.
#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress
I don't know what's going in in this fight scene, but it's pretty fun #monsterdon
He doesn't want to end disease though he wants to turn people into dinosaurs, they were more fun.
STG Rasputin!Monster is reminding me of Inigo Montoya.
"Let me go! It IS possible! I will teach you to end pain! Disease! Hunger! I must find the six-fingered man!"
"i am an energy being that has occupied earth throughout its history, i'm here because my friends just sorta forgot about me lmao" #monsterdon
Headshot, damn it #Monsterdon
![[empty]](/media/avatars/287224a269fbaefbc7e94920b207f9dca8b6e0415d818373c9f1528359b6a0e8.jpg){kind=small}
Shoot the motherfucker already
#monsterdon
I dunno I think the monster made the wrong move should've possessed the Telly instead of the wannabe freak #Monsterdon
#monsterdon MONSTER MONK HOST HUMILIATION RETRIBUTION
Quite the body count in this one. #monsterdon #HorrorExpress
oh no, drunk guy got his brain sucked!
and nothing change #monsterdon
The Mad Priest did not inherit the hairy hand. #monsterdon #HorrorExpress
Aww. I really thought Telly Savalas was going to shrug off the brain flattening by sheer force of swagger.
The priest was handsome before but he looks like the tiny Tim and Eric guy who screams with those contacts in . #Monsterdon
well that escalated quickly.
gotta keep your head on a swivel
Kojack is no more... He put up the best fight, but even he could not stop the space monkey mummy's mind games.
#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress
Thatβs a wrap on Telly. #Monsterdon
Telly chews the scenery for 12 minutes or so and is OUT. #monsterdon #HorrorExpress
Telly died the way he lived.
Smooth. #Monsterdon
Bummer
#monsterdon
alien is really overdriving it on this red-eye, he's gonna burn that motor right out
@CactuarJoe Just pray he never gets the Marty Feldman upgrade! #monsterdon #HorrorExpress
Nobody threatens Kojak with a cross.
β«
Ra-ra Rasputin
Causer of a violent scene
There was a cat that really was gone
β«
The monster's death vision has apparently been upgraded to an area effect weapon
riot on the train
aww, too late #monsterdon
ok the russian king guy has plot armor but honestly if he became the monster i would just start rooting for the monster even harder and hope for a sequel #monsterdon
Hey, he got the Wide Beam upgrade for his eyes! #Monsterdon
Only Tsarist stormtroopers could be that accurate. #monsterdon
#monsterdon βWhat if the monk is innocent?β
βAahhh, we have lots of innocent monks.β
Mad props to scriptwriters.
It's kinda funny that the monster's theme is the song the porter was whistling during the unveil?
Stole the dude's mind, stole his leitmotif. Brutal.
Those eyes are a great effect. #monsterdon #HorrorExpress
Maybe Jesus was another alien who came looking for the first alien and that's why ape alien dislikes him so much. #monsterdon #HorrorExpress
ENTER ME MASTER, ENTER ME
Dude, there's such a thing as being overeager. Have dinner first. #Monsterdon
That dude is tripping on eyes #monsterdon
Rasputin getting his entire wish here, good for him. #monsterdon
Go home, Telly, you're drunk #monsterdon
grievously wounding the monster cop but not killing him so the monster can't jump hosts is not a bad idea, but they are really bungling the followthrough #monsterdon
π¦ MONSTERDON LOW
BUDGET FILM SCHOOL π½οΈ
Re-use other film's stuff to save money.
Like the train set and miniature train.
You might have seen both in the movie Pancho Villa (1972) or even Nicholas And Alexandra before that. Pancho, made by same producer, just wrapped up.
It was the availability of the miniature and the train set that prompted the producer to write this script!
We have 15 minutes to go here, what could possibly happen in the rest of this movie.
@paco And don't call me Shirley! #WrongMovie #monsterdon
i couldn't even tell what he was slapping rasputin with but slapping everyone into oblivion seems like a pretty good way to resolve the plot #monsterdon
My favorite thing about this movie is how Savalas basically dropped his Kojak character into a Hammer-esque vehicle for Lee & Cushing, and ERRYBODY was just like, yeah, ok cool, and rolled with it
Most useless door guard ever
Holding a cross and saying "Beware the wroth of Satan"? Pick one end of the religion or the other, man!
#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress
cheez it it's the COSSACKS
Telly taking Rasputin OUT. i love this movie. #monsterdon
Whip that monk you stylish mofo!
I'll smoke them out! With my sweet-ass pipe!
#monsterdon βIβll smoke them out.β Well, since they all seem to have pipesβ¦
Wearing the only bright color in the scene and already chewing the scenery like there's no tomorrow. Milk it Telly. Milk it. #monsterdon #HorrorExpress
Telly Savalas is really making a run for hijacking this film. #Monsterdon
LOUD NOISES #MONSTERDON
#monsterdon βThis isnβt the worst episode of Scooby-Doo. This is a very good episode of Dr. Who.β
@CactuarJoe But only just barely. Monkey mummy is scambling to stay ahead of two old british chaps just enough to eat more brains. But they are over looking a monster right infront of them while being flippant about how the british are never the problem. Lol.
#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress
Crazy monk guy has become Renfield I see
gonna have a stare-off
raspy doesn't have a chance
shoulda et that eyeball while he could
damn fool
And worst of all, he could be any one of us!
He could be you! He could be me! He could even be --
so far it seems like the monster is just gonna be able to allkill this train and go about its business. it's unkillable and will just keep transferring hosts? idk seems pretty pointless to try and hunt it, just radio ahead to the next station and get everyone in one room until you get there.
Monster? I'm British!
(every looking uncomfortable)
Um, not that type of monster
#Monsterdon
"Monster!? We're British you know!" Great. Great line. #monsterdon #HorrorExpress
"Thought this might come in handy", says Peter Cushing with a huge shotgun
Does this make him the honorary American