That sure is a sound effect. Does the monster have a car alarm installed?

#Monsterdon

The combination is 0 0 0 0 0 #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Me at work next year: "There is no morality in a fact."

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon “I’m sorry, I can’t tell you. But wait until we destroy Alderaan!”

lol, his brain got smoothed! #Monsterdon

Y'know dude, it's not too late for the ape man to revolutionize science. You'd think at some point in that two million years he probably went to grad school.

#Monsterdon

I. I. I got nothin. #monsterdon

"Wait a minute, this man's head is full of raspberry jam!"

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Let us repair to the mausoleum car for the autopsy. #Monsterdon

"his eyes are white"

"oh thats probably just yoga"

#monsterdon

"Is it true you're a doctor?"

"...ask me after I finish my dinner."

I love Peter Cushing

#Monsterdon

lol
"Is there an autopsy carriage on this train"
"Of course, follow me..."

#monsterdon

@paco #monsterdon It's clear we have an unfrozen lockpicking caveman lawyer on our hands.

LMAO THE ZOOM IN ON THE FISH EYE

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

When going into a dark rail car, it's always best to lead with your bayonet.

#monsterdon

Where is Telly? I came for the Telly and so far, NO TELLY!!! #Monsterdon

Monster finds kids looks for a bit then is all "nah...not ripe yet" #Monsterdon

#monsterdon You know, the way that train sways on the rails, I don't know that I would be as eager as that guard to walk around with my bayonet in fixed position while the pointy end sways so close to my face.

It's taking FOREVER to murder these kids. Do it or don't!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon “Half ape, half man.” Bit of a taxonomy issue there… And for a fossil he’s damn lively.

@allanb A Boxing Helena reference? 100 points to this evil mfer right here. #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

"Say two hail monsters and bring me something from the buffet car"

#monsterdon

"I don't want to panic the passengers!"

Countdown to the passengers panicking when word gets out in three... two...

#Monsterdon

ah shit somebody call Poirot #monsterdon

I know what will stop this monster! Six screws!

#monsterdon

"Forgive me baggage man, for I have sinned"

#monsterdon

Ha ha - poor axe-wielding mime work there.

#monsterdon

The baggage man has been boxed

#monsterdon

A lot of people asking questions already answered by my "Do Not open this mysterious crate under any circumstance" shirt
#monsterdon

This lock is going to need a good shot of WD-40 given all the wear and tear it's going through

#monsterdon

They'll regret opening that box like that...

#monsterdon

Dogs are especially attuned to the stink of hell.

#monsterdon

Ha, the 1970s "1906" Gibson Girl— upswept hair, thick lipgloss, and a metric ton of eyeliner

#Monsterdon

"There's the stink of Hell on this train" No offense Father Buzz Kill but you're not looking all that fresh yourself. #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Lol @ the guard getting Yeti mind-fucked

This is not a typical Yeti I think

#monsterdon

🚆 TRIVIA EXPRESS 🎞️

There was only one set for the interior of the train cars during production.

That meant all of the scenes inside a certain car had to be shot at once.

Next, they reconstructed the set representing the next car and shot all those scenes. And so on.

🦖#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

ah, here's this movie's thruple then. a fine #monsterdon tradition continues.

#Monsterdon that’s a dog, not a muppet. Stop picking at her fur you dumb monstrous woman. Someone throw the Countess off the train. No need to slow down. Save the dog.

oh my, that lock's in a three-way

and you want to drill a little hole do you?

this movie needs to be a liiiiiiiittle less horny on main

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress #monsterdong

for our next pose, downward facing soon to be dead poodle

#monsterdon

Sure, blame it on yoga. #monsterdon

I like how Cushing's character is not giving up on how weird the growling fossil box is.

#monsterdon

That was the third steam whistle jumpscare in the film so far. How many more do you think? #Monsterdon

@Lazarou that is a gorgeous steam engine #monsterdon

[OMINOUS CREAKING]

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

#monsterdon "Creepy sound? Let me unlock the source."

Lee’s character is 1% scientist, 99% douche nozzle. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon I don't think chalk works on there

#Monsterdon Those spats are pretty clean for someone who's been walking around on the docks in SHANGHAI!

#monsterdon Creepy old guy who warns you of an ancient hex. Check!

i didn't know rasputin was in this movie. #monsterdon

Ra Ra Rasputin! #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

1972's eye-roll champion right there. #Monsterdon

These are the sort of docks the Supernatural can kill a man and steal his irises and nobody notices
#monsterdon

He dabbles in fossils and bones

#monsterdon

Oh dear, the mustache works for Christopher Lee #Monsterdon

Fun fact about Horror Express for #monsterdon peeps.

That's the movie Justin Long's character visits in his immersive VR in the season 2 finale of Creepshow.

Ah finally civilization
#monsterdon

Hi-ho hi-ho, it's off to work we go! #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Hey, are these opening credits in Spanish for anyone else..?

Good start to any #Monsterdon

HOOT HOOT

Oh wow these opening credit fonts. THE SEVENTIES, you say!

#Monsterdon

Get your timed mute buttons ready, tonight we #monsterdon!!

@RufusJCooter The Grand Mott goes down with the That’s No Moon. #monsterdon

@videograndpa @Taweret yay! :D

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

@jonny I think it was always an immortal energy being. It just happens to have picked up mind-absorbing skill which smooths brains and boils eyes, along the way. #Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

@ranjit i was wondering the same thing! #monsterdon

#monsterdon All I can say is that chekhov's dog did not get resolved and I am disappoint. But otherwise pretty fun spaghetti monster film! Multiple actors capable of scene chewing!

@BestGirlGrace so: space alien stays frozen in a fossil for thousands of years but is actually millions of years old. It kills by zapping with laser eyes. There’s a priest to jumps on team Satan at the first chance he gets, Kojak shows up and smokes on a train. And then there’s this trolley problem where someone sends most of the train off a cliff. That’s about it. #monsterdon

ok i found my crappy old dvd copy of HORROR EXPRESS. it was even worse quality than the blurry hoopla version. here's a sample frame, alongside a frame from the same scene from the youtube version i watched #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress 🎼drivin’ that train, alien brain, hairy arms you better watch your speed

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress Was not expecting the raising of the dead. It explains why hairy arms was checking heads.

Wait, what happened to Alinka, the countess’s dog? #monsterdon

@diazona @moira @SnoopJ The con woman was throwing out gibberish to get sympathy. "Shanghai", sure. #Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

@plaidtron3000 Grand Moff Tarkin /could/ have bugged out from the Death Star mk I, if he wanted to.

That's leadership, man!

#monsterdon

Oh hey! Whatever happened to Checkov's poodle? Did it make it? #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress “Come into me Satan!”

@paco @plaidtron3000 Well, he did chew on that scenery like a Cossack on his enemies. #monsterdon

@Configures @jonny he's what happens when the space desk lamp leaves somebody behind who _doesn't_ conveniently evaporate

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress Telly Sevalis is my new favorite scenery chewer.

i never make it to #monsterdon but i do enjoy trying to piece together whatever the hell the movie is about from everyone talking

@jonny "They left me here by accident" SUUUUURE monster, an accident, or you killed them all, or they FOITsky to get away from you. #Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

@neia Oh haha yeah good thing that didn't happen in the middle of the movie!

Maybe throw in an evil eye drive, then you never have to worry about running out of storage space again

#Monsterdon

@Louisa so you remember that guy Konev who opened up the monster's box with an axe?

According to the credits he *is* the conductor, so he is presumably pretty aware that something wacky is going on aboard, but wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. "Don't get paid for this" and went back to doing train stuff I guess?

#Monsterdon

@moira Maybe he just got madder and madder over the two million years it took him to get dug up by an Englishman and he just wanted to hurt folks #monsterdon

@Zerofactorial

#Monsterdon

Gave an excuse for the spy sub-subplot and for the alien to get greedy about it for its hypothetical spaceship escape.

Telly Salvalas as... The Cossack!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY2reJ9ktRo
#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Well, class. Have we learned anything about how not to care for once-frozen, half-human, half-ape, 2 million year old, defrosting, alien-possessed and cunning specimens, ones eager for murderous rampage, that we got from some dude we followed into a cave?

#Monsterdon

So what was the reason for the "steel harder than diamonds" plot device, anyway? #monsterdon

@Bluedepth mmmm pockets

#Monsterdon

Look I'm going to just accept the train spur that goes off a cliff as Just Bolshevik Russia Things. #monsterdon

The moral is that if you buy a ticket on the Horror Express you're guaranteed a ride without any stops, not even at the end #monsterdon

@trixter Sounds pretty Czarist Russia to me. #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

@brooke I guess in case you have a civil war and someone's sending soldiers to the capital by rail? This seems like Actual Russia Problems. #monsterdon

Thanks to @Taweret for another great creature flick. Short on plot, but plenty of poached eyeballs to go around.

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

That was fun! I mainly wish the lighting was better and weird Christopher Lee showed up instead of angry misanthropic Christopher Lee. #Monsterdon

Telly may have only been in the movie for a few minutes, but he acted enough for a whole movie #Monsterdon

That wasn’t half as bad as I expected! And what an amazing soundtrack! #monsterdon

I think that the writers create such an awesome monster that they didn't know to end the movie, so we got this crappy ending. Kinda like "Lost"
#monsterdon

honest to god, though, this would be a fun d&d campaign. might make a module inspired by this lol

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress