#Monsterdon Love a commercial when gross things aren't happening. Could have used them a few minutes ago.

just call the Venus guy, he knows about gravity #monsterdon

oop, sorry sir, you're fabulous glasses weren't enough to protect you. #monsterdon

#monsterdon New character! “Do you believe in the devil?… Still, the devil must be afraid of one honest Cossack.” Spouse nominates him for new Best Character.

Aww Venom's just trying to go home. #Monsterdon

new monster guy: i am going to kill this rocket scientist and smooth his brain

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

#Monsterdon Okay, guy, we get it. You're smart. You can stop playing chess AGAINST YOURSELF now. Sheesh. *eyeroll*

IT'S TELLY :ameowbongo:

You know it's a good #Monsterdon when it has a freak in a cage

This bald guy just SHOWED up an hour into the movie and won the title of most interesting character by default #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

if he's thinking the monster will be lighter than a human because he's from another planet I'm gonna riot

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

@OldRustBucket [Ella Fitzgerald] You say po-TAY--toe I say po-TAH-toe

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Little Father, who loves ya', baby?

So #HorrorExpress is turning out to be, like, *Fallen* on the Orient Express? #Monsterdon

FINALLY!!! Who loves ya baby? #Monsterdon

What period is this that Savalas gets Virginia Slims to smoke?

#Monsterdon

It's not quite as good as the inciting incident of #PaperConveyerBeltFanClub but I appreciate the little paper ticker reading out the telegraph

#Monsterdon

Remember that episode of King of the Hill where Peggy and Hank boink on the train and it's disco themed? this is sort of like that

#monsterdon

Whoops had it at 1.25 speed. Got to Telly before everyone else.
#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

My bad, I thought the other redhead in blue had been the Countess #monsterdon

We've got Telly! #monsterdon

THERE'S TELLY! #Monsterdon

There's Telly! Who Loves Ya BABY! #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

"...I'm Kojack, I know about everything!"

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Who loves ya baby?!

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

exactly... the next hour sometime, got it

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

This might be a funny time to share that (because I went to a weird school - long story) my senior prom was on one of these scenic train ride type things. There was a dance floor car. Lmao #monsterdon

ALWAYS REMEMBER TO DRINK YOUR OVALTINE!!?? #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

"how can we show this is russia?"
"the fucking hats, man. the hats. this is going to work."

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

We all know the buddy system works because of the 100% survival rate in every horror film from the moment it is implemented. #Monsterdon

Rasputin wants to play Renfield to the creature so bad.#Monsterdon

Under no circumstances must anyone be alone.

<next scene>

The professor is alone.
#monsterdon

"people must not be left alone" says guy who immediately goes off on his own to find the monster. #monsterdon

Can this thing multiply? Because investigating everyone’s eyes would be a fantastic strategy.

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

These chips weren't even SALTED!

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Don't even go to the bathroom alone! #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Wow. This is really not a very big train is it. #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Why does the monster keep killing, though?

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

oh there's our boy #monsterdon

scientist guy: we should test for x-rays
christopher lee: where the fuck are we going to get an xray machine on a train
scientist guy: good... point

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

and now the monster is all like a The Master and I'm _definitely_ wondering about the third doctor

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Oh sure, he's all 'I'm into God' and then the first chance he gets, he wants to serve evil. #monsterdon

The symptoms: Dying with white scleral contacts in. #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

No, not Jonesy! #monsterdon

doon DOON [jang jang, jang jang] doon DOON

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

sudden tomorrow people music, briefly

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Sorry padre, he's just not that into you. #Monsterdon

like how he turns off the lights so he can show off his new glowy eyes #monsterdon

one of them #monsterdon situations where you need a belmont but you have a rasputin

@faoluin

#Monsterdon

For what it's worth, Chariots of the Gods (ancient aliens woo) was 1968.

Noooooooo my favorite character 😭 #monsterdon

so less rasputin and more manson then got it

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

holy shit pujardov is a shitty christian; he immediately wants to serve this other false god what the fuck lmao

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Rasputin's just looking to worship you, sir, no need to be violent. #monsterdon

Man, Goo Ape's just *feasting* on this train. #Monsterdon

Rasputin guy flip-flops like a politician accepting bribes in an election year.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Hercule Poirot has really changed.

Someone needs to tell this creature about personal space. #monsterdon

he has to turn down the lights because this version of the prosthetics are just _really bad_

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Time for the close ups of eyes montage! WHy does everyone have blue eyes?
#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

well well wells if it isn't the Saxon Countess brothers #monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow Chief? MCCLOUD! #Monsterdon

Wells. Saxxon. Countess. Janet. Brad. Rocky! #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

ah, great, a flashback to a scene we just saw like 30 seconds ago. classic. #monsterdon

Meeeee and… Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones. #Monsterdon

LOL, priest got burned hard

#Monsterdon

the brain absorption sound bangs i need that in an EDM track #monsterdon

@neekerbreeker And it irons their frontal lobes smooth too. Busy, busy eye #monsterdon

Ah what a burn #Monsterdon

More soul sucking!

Mad Monk is throwing his lot in with the Monster.

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

if the monster got woken up in 2024 the eye would just be full of memes and yuri #monsterdon

@juliewebgirl You would be surprised at how many just watch the tootstream.

🦖#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

I swear, Miss Jones looks like she stepped directly out of the Brezhnev era USSR, and I'm not sure why

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

would you like to buy an eyeball? one $20, and that's poking me own eye. #monsterdon

Well well well Wells, Saxon, Countess.
#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Wait why did Satan Cop have a werewolf hand

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

So, wait, how many eyeballs do we need for the film?
#Monsterdon

Prosthetic eyes over your real eyes SFX, because sticking red LEDs in your real eyes was too hard to do back then. #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

btw, brontosaurus lived about 156 to 146 million years ago, so... this monster is either REALLY old, or... he did not see those dinosaurs

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

#Monsterdon “The Dutch want to breed it with tulips and carrots. It’s chilling. Hard as Diamonds Tulips with green frondy bits. Unholy.”

All Cops Are Baphomet

#Monsterdon

Now it take over other people and it has two eyes now. #Monsterdon

Noooo you killed the best character

I'm reconsidering my allegiance to #TeamMonster

#Monsterdon

damn, you just got koala brained

#monsterdon

HEY! MOVIE, NO! BAD MOVIE, BAD!! #Monsterdon

No Not Miss JONES! #monsterdon

It's the Satellite of Love!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon “I see.” No, someone else has the eyeball right now.

@sean "I can see YOUR house. Holy shit, I can see your mom from here! Goddamn, your mama so fat..."

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Oh great, now it’s contagious. Is there a vaccine for ancient evil? #monsterdon

If passengers want excitement they should start a game of Truth or Dare #monsterdon

aw, ma'am! gone too soon. RIP the only sensible lady on this train. #monsterdon

Wait... So the monster is sort of a walking hard drive? So he's prehistoric Johnny Mnemonic? #Monsterdon

Miss Jones's hair is the top performer.

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

You know that viral clip of that Australian bank robber getting arrested where he's asking about what crime has he committed other than eating a suculent Chinese meal and then screams "get your hands off my penis!" That's all I'm hearing every time Christopher Lee talks. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 😱 🚂 🦍 🐛

So, vitreous humor, aqueous humor, and evolution-o-scope humor?

Pictures of Lilly! #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Yes, what's a the fussy about an ancient monster killing people?
#Monsterdon

ooooOOooo a THOUSAND rubles

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

@ranjit Also some of the compartments look to be about five meters wide #monsterdon