Monster is gonna have sooo many recipes for borscht now!

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

rasputin sure gave in to satan real fast #monsterdon

looks like his faith has been rewarded. his brain-smoothing powers are faster now. #monsterdon

@DinosaurRobo *chugs vodka directly from the bottle* #monsterdon

our mad monk says fuck the military police

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

someone left a geiger counter in the recording booth

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

@Taweret ah yeah, it makes no sense but there's always a lot going on

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

@Lazarou ooh yeah I think I may have caught that too

#Monsterdon

That ape's gonna find out he's no match in a dominance contest with Captain Kazan #monsterdon

@Taweret Yeah, I'm really enjoying it :D #Monsterdon

@YsengrinWolf Russian train wifi amiright? #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Monk is all like "smooth muh brainnnnn smooooth it yeah!"

Telly's still Prime Freak tho

#Monsterdon

Arise our final monster host! Rasputin the Mad Monk gets his time to shine!
#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Konstantin Tsiolkovsky gets name dropped! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Konstantin_Tsiolkovsky #monsterdon

Maybe take some febreeze before you transfer over to the priest #Monsterdon

@apLundell Not that PARTICULAR train, surely? Though it was a lovely train before the THING got on it. #Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

mm, got some killer eye makeup out of it too. Rasputin living his best life rn. #monsterdon

not enough visine in the world

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Monster transferring to a new body takes so long.

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

@moira That guy has never been to France! #SillyEnglishKnnnigggits #WrongMovie #monsterdon

“But what if the monk is innocent?”
“Ehh, we have lots of innocent monks.”

Oh man

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

@srol It's like stormtroopers, but on defense

#Monsterdon

You filthy, godamn, pock-marked, fascist assholes! Take your hands off my alien being in a human host! #monsterdon

#monsterdon The Rasputin character isn't the one who gets shot/stabbed/beaten and still walks around? Wow. Okay they seem to be passing the pinkeye of invulnerability around now so maybe we'll see it happen yet...

boozycam does not help this scene make more sense

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

I'm kinda rooting for the monster tbqh

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon "Jesus Chri...I mean, would you shut up? I'm in pain here."

#monsterdon “Come in to me, Satan!” PHRASING!

I need an old priest and a young priest...

#Monsterdon

now kiss

#Monsterdon

what if the MONK is innocent? dude, have you been watching the same movie as the rest of us? #monsterdon

Rasputin's really just a sub tryin' to get a scene going here, huh. #Monsterdon

You grab these soldiers by the shoulders and they're just completely incapacitated. #Monsterdon

"Come into me, Satan"

PHRASING

#Monsterdon

I like the gendarme, it's like "uh, should I, uh, do something, with, uh, my gun or something?"

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Nobody did imperialism like the British but Kojak gets shit done

#monsterdon

Suddenly, the soundtrack gets very funk bass-y. This is a 70s movie, alright.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Now I'm thinking that Savalas would have made an excellent Doctor ... or Master.

That was THE LAZIEST KNIFE THROW EVER #Monsterdon

Kojack v The Devil
Coming this fall on CBS
#Monsterdon

@gnomon I bet it makes for excellent skillets #monsterdon

Those Ukrainians are cruel lol
#monsterdon

This is getting kinky #monsterdon

Telly truly is a freak this is great

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Cossack 1, Renfield 0.

Dude, I'm pretty sure Rasputin is gonna survive this

#Monsterdon

Almost as good as Tuco. #Monsterdon

If this guy's like the Raspuntin from Shadow Hearts, he's enjoying this #monsterdon

#monsterdon “He has the Evil Eye!” No, he gave that back earlier.

@davesdogmaggie You're watching Teletubbies?! :ablobcatgooglymlemjumping: #monsterdon

Telly Savalas is such a scene stealer jeez

and Cushing and Lee are just standing there taking it smh

#monsterdon

Rasputin fights cossacks with Christianity!
Telly Savalas is not a vampire so he can kiss the cross. Foolish Rasputin.
#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

It's Russian 24! But on a train!

#Monsterdon

"Instead of babbling nonsense you'd investigate this properly—”

<POW!>

HA HA TELLY JUST EARNED HIS SPOT IN THE MOVIE WITH ONE PUNCH. :D I'll even forgive his complete failure to sound Russian for this.

#Monsterdon

Telly's Crews arrived!
#monsterdon

This must be how Stalin fans feel :P #Monsterdon

I don’t think Telly’s seen a script. I don’t think the character is in the script. Telly just showed up and went off. The robe is from home.

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Telly Savalas' character is totally insane and I am here for it

#Monsterdon

This Telly guy is great. :D #monsterdon

Hm. On the one hand, a brutal authoritarian cop. On the other hand, he DID get the Englishmen to shut up. #Monsterdon

Telly was completely naked under that coat. #Monsterdon

he just punched that uptight english guy with the uptight american lady, that is some shit they don't teach you in a boxin class #monsterdon

You tell 'em, Telly! #HorrorExpress #monsterdon

of a TOOK!

#monsterdon #HorrorExpress

@DinosaurRobo@retro.pizza Because he's half half-ape, half-man now! That's how genetics works!

(Well technically he's just infested by a parasite at half strength, but yeah.)

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

See, when you take away someone's glasses, you take away their power of sight. But the magnifying glasses enhance your power of sight. You can see the earth from a distance for perspective. But then the when you are inhabitated your eye or brain drains in three mixed metaphors. ETA Hoffmann could have written this.

#monsterdon

That gun is just as funny as those ridiculously tiny metal weed pipes lol #monsterdon

"who'a the trouble makahs!" #monsterdon

"Everybody's under arrest." Surely that's not really how this works... #monsterdon

"I **am* in Siberia!"*

Great line. #monsterdon

Anyone asks he'll tell 'em he got some Propecia on his left hand #monsterdon

who is this russian king guy all of a sudden and why is he so dope #monsterdon

"Monster? we are British"
well, that answer it.
#monsterdon

I really should have bought a bottle of vodka for this one. #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Did you know you can hook up your private train carriage to Amtrak trains?
#Monsterdon

Count Kojak is on the case!

#Monsterdon

a man with one italian hand #monsterdon

I’m sorry did they just turn right? What kind of train… I’m very confused. #Monsterdon

Telly Savalas turns up in the third reel, hamming it up like a boss #monsterdon

<Cossacks boarding the train>

HUT! HUT HUT HUT! HUT HUT HUT!

#Monsterdon

If minds are transferred here, why does the inspector have a wooly arm? Make it make sense. #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

So, we've got a THE THING situation, I guess? The monster is trying to get the resources necessary to make a spacecraft to get off the planet, or perhaps around upon it?

#Monsterdon

Goo Ape, you really SHOULD kill Rasputin. I mean, I'd kill him and I'm not even a space monster :/ #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Tonight's baddie has "King Charles' Hands Effect" only instead of knockwurst, I'm thinking breakfast sausage links.

"master...."

"oh my god, you again"

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

They're stacking up corpses like cordwood in one of these few cars.

🦖#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

Holy shit this is some A+ Telly Savalas. #monsterdon

@Louisa lol, he immediately answered your question #Monsterdon

Here this duck hunting shotgun will fix things
#monsterdon

uh apparently there's yet another female character I didn't even know about

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Oh, it’s an ALIEN brain-transferring organism. That explains everything.

It really does have to be pointed out that the monster is outplaying our heroes REALLY SERIOUSLY here. Like, running RINGS around our heroes. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon TERRY

All these private rooms. Is this a train or a TARDIS? #monsterdon #HorrorExpress

@SnoopJ ooh gotcha I thought this was some entirely new scientist I hadn't heard of

#Monsterdon

Honestly when they showed the first shot of Captain Wossname and it was just fur, I was hoping he was a wolf-man or something. Quite disappointed.

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

"What does it mean?"

DOUBLE RAINBOW #Monsterdon

Were they keeping Kojak in a crib?

#Monsterdon #HorrorExpress

#monsterdon Though where they’re going to find an honest Cossack…

So he's .. half-monster?

#monsterdon