Straight up tho' the funniest moment in the entire movie is when mid-conversation for literally no visible reason Ferringo's mantitties did a sudden spasm upwards. It was like they got spooked by something off camera and I couldn't stop laughing
subtitle: "thud"
@kshernandez @davesdogmaggie I mean to be fair it may have been yeeted into space early in the movie
@diazona I'm sure if he yeets enough of the Earth's mass into Space we'll have those seven moons in no time and there will be no consequences for any of this.
#Monsterdon
3 minutes in and I'm already confused.
@moira @CactuarJoe So is Alien Contamination, as far as I remember.
That wasn't the worst #Monsterdon. I feel like they were actually trying. On cocaine, yes, but actually trying. #Hercules1983
This movie was so bonkers I completely forgot that a massive volcanic explosion on the island of Thera is thought to be an origin of the legend of Atlantis. Well done, movie!
Not often you get King Minos, the Labyrinth and NOT have the Minotaur. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983
OK I'm calling it, best #Monsterdon experience of the last year (or more)! My brain may disagree but it doesn't get a vote.
Thanks as always @Taweret for hosting and everybody for posting! Now on to The Seven Magnificent Gladiators....
I watched this instead of studying for my Greek Mythology quiz tomorrow. How screwed am I?
🦖#MONSTERDON Goodbye!
❤️ Thank you @Taweret for hosting this muscular movie!
🅱️ and thanks @cherizilla for the Bingo card! My favorite: "Trickster God" Good one.
🎞️ and more thanks to @paco for data analysis and @combatwombat for the replays. And to @miru for the double feature
🦖And to all the members of the Real Time Film Analysis Squad: That was a fast scroll! Problems next week? Yeet them into space!
#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇
That was fun and incredibly stupid. Wow.
I fell like some license was taken with Greek mythology.
Thanks @Taweret , @JoeWynne , @Cherizilla ,
and all #monsterdonians for watching Hercules yeet things into space for and hour and change..
That kind of slapped #monsterdon
And it's over! I wish Hercules and Circe had gotten together instead. She was a much better match #monsterdon
Thank you, movie, for finally being over. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983
and that concludes today's posting about large Very Buff men
#monsterdon
Who woulda thunk Hercules would bust out of iron chain? Not the king who's been watching him for the whole freakin' movie!
the tl did a funny. #monsterdon
OMG we get a toy boat and an evacuation scene as the panicked civilians flee Atlantis, which explodes in a montage of exploding models.
Herc explains that the phoenix is free and then he and Cass kiss... after he asks if she is really Cass or Circe or Ariadna in a new form and she's like "I'm all of them." and then they fade out and we see explosions that are probably supposed to represent sex or maybe actual explosions. whatever. then credits.
Well, that's another #Monsterdon in the can. Thanks as always to @Taweret for putting all this together. And to @miru for the stream!
The movie was bad, but the comments were fun! Thanks all!
i couldnt keep enough tabs on all the WTF-ery just happened. That movie deserves an acid trip, and was no doubt writen on a cocaine fueled bender chasing that sweet sweet #StarWars knock off money.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1983
BEST MOVIE SO FAR this year!!!!
okay I tuned in for the very end of that movie and it looks charmingly silly and cheesy
I may catch up with the #Monsterdon Replay later this week :blobfox3c:
Herc's got them trust issues...his heart's been broken before.
That was... something. #monsterdon
WHY EXPLOSION
that's certainly a *choice* to shadowbox and explode, film
Herc must now use his super strength slowly winch Cass up from the volcano elevator. Ariadna tries to throw a spear at Cass but Herc throws a sword at her first. Then we get some rumbling and blooping as Ariadna crumbles to dust.
Then a stock footage of a volcano as Thira explodes, blowing up Atlantis and inflicting major setbacks on Minoan civilization.
Cassiopeia got over having to wear that veil real quick
"I'm all of them and none of them" sure okay that makes sense
How does the Phoenix serve the Universe?
"I'm all of them and none of them"
"Lady, that's not answering the question"
The End
EXPLOSION!!!!
love when the sfx team gets in on a death scene being overwrought
After breaking into the volcano chamber, we get a final battle where Hercules has to fight Minos who has a magic sword, which is a glowing multicolored flaming lightsaber. But then Herc grabs the magic sword from before and Minos is like "no dont use that it will make the volcano explode" but Herc pulls it out anyway and wins the sword fight.
Casaiopea has sea shells covering her nipples. Just... um... thought I'd mention that.
![[empty]](/media/avatars/287224a269fbaefbc7e94920b207f9dca8b6e0415d818373c9f1528359b6a0e8.jpg){kind=small}
And our brave hero skewers an old man. #Monsterdon
that flaming sword really looks awesome though
#Monsterdon
Oof. The CG fire isn't quite at the same framerate as the actual movie and it's... 🤢
“You’re too reliant on your strength” #Monsterdon
Hercules almost defeated by the flaming sword of gaiety.
the sword really reminds me of rocket pops
This is just another reason to dump that pesky virginity. No getting sacrificed to fuel some dork in a Burger King crown's evil volcano power station. #monsterdon
After yeeting all the guards, Herc demands that Ariadna take him to Cass, who is in a volcano place where Minos is explaining his evil plan to answer my previous toot.
Minos has um... tracked a phoenix to a volcano and sacrifices a virgin to the volcano to keep himself alive and is going to use the magic sword from before to um... wait... actually none of this makes sense anyway why i am still explaining it
Space sword? SPACE SWORD! Hey a little bit of actual history that works. Finding a chunk of meteoric iron was for a long time the best way to get a source of iron to make swords from.
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
shell doing product placement in cassiopeia's costume is a choice
Why does Meanest feel the need to tell all this to someone he's about to drop into a volcano?
RIDE THE SCALES!
@moira surface tension, no need for tape? 😆
uh, dad is nuts
Cassiopea Versus The Volcano.
Ah yes the volcano Phoenix of Greek mythology, how could I have forgotten
#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇
Everyone in this film is a constellation.
How convenient of her outfit to have the built-in arm handle
i wonder how much tape is involved in keeping her in her cups
Full disclosure, somewhere in between the three headed dragon and Circe dying, I did fall asleep. I'm sure what I missed was terribly important. #monsterdon
These guards look vaguely familiar
goin' well, got any more robots to sic on him?
While Ariadna and a boobilicious escort is taking Cass to meet Minos to be sacrificed on this night, when the gods are powerless... hey wait is that another Minoan fresco on the wall... nice!
Anyway, Minos does a supervillain rant about why we need perfect order and we've eliminated all emotion and hope and doubt in Thira and tells Ariadna to seduce Herc so we can breed a race of champions to rule the Earth meanwhile he'll have sex with Cass.
so many slabs of meat laying on the floor of that dungeon, I can't make out what is what
> no emotions on Thira
> responds: "Have no fear"
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yeah sure minos
#monsterdon
No emotion, no hope, no doubt... sums up this movie pretty well
Plenty of uncertainty though
Hercules clearly missed his search check
Hahaha he fell in the hole, the end
way to stand on the completely obvious trap door herc
Even the crystal ball in this universe makes bloopy TV noises.
Herc and Circe have wandered into the Green part of Atlantis when they are attacked by a robot centaur who kills Circe, making me sad. Herc avenges her and the cenatur sinks into the ocean and disappears and then before dying (I think) Circe is like "you must go to cass because she is good good girl and i am the good bad girl so I am fated to die by this script." and then she dies and vanishes to some bloopy noises.
When this ends, @miru is showing the follow-up film The Seven Magnificent Gladiators.
Do you like gladiator movies? 😉
That's the scene that got Lou the part on The Incredible Hulk. #Monsterdon
@CactuarJoe yes I believe the gods are in fact to blame
I just... The toy was disarmed with the first hit. This was literally the least capable one yet, yet this was the big guardian they selected for the island with the annoying green light?
NOOOO! Not Xerxes!!! Why!?!
This looks like The Matrix remasters
"Robot Centaur Killed My Sorceress Girlfriend"
lucky the Mediterranean is only 11 feet deep
#Monsterdon
“Oh, you a woman lost all your powers and are in love with me. Whatever, on to the rest of the plot”
Super...Green...
HE YEETED HIMSELF INTO SPACE!!! #Monsterdon
You made me fall in love and when that happens to a sorceress it makes her lose all her powers.
What even the-
no
no
We open the tower containing the chariot, which seems to be made of quartz, but we need a magic horse replacement, and it's Herc's job to think of something for some reason. So he naturally... um... pulls a rock out of the wall and decides that a rock would make a good horse.
Circe magicks up a rope to grapple the rocks and tie them to the chariot.
I'm hoping Herc's plan is just to yeet the rocks into the air and then follow behind with a rope.
This dub is brutal. And don't get me started on the sound effects.
I dunno but it was pretty fricking epic.
That's how physics works....oh wow they're already out in the Asteroid belt....Alpha Centauri next yeah?
See how epic space travel is?
Xerxes is cool. I'm guessin they gonna give her a bad ending and I'm already upset about it.
Herc solves all his biggest problems by throwing shit into SPAAAAAAAAAAACE!!
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
#monsterdon
If your character sheet doesn't say you're carrying a rope, then you don't have a rope!
Hercules pulls The Reverse Tetris
Circe uses her Talisman to enlarge Herc with the power of neon rectangles so that Xenodama can be impressed with his pecs and also so that he can um... separate Europe from Africa giving us continents. yes that sounds right.