"The soul of the world"

What mythology is this now?

#Monsterdon

What was the oil budget?

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I have to admit the visual and sound effects in this are pretty charming and it does feel a lot like watching 80s cartoons

#Monsterdon

I take it back, it's not He-Man, it's Power Rangers. #Monsterdon

Isn't the rainbow bridge where pets go after they die?

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Wait, is he using the shield to reflect the rays the way he reflected Medusa's gaze in the mythos? That's a take. #Monsterdon

plastic bronze bodykinis were all the rage on the beaches of Corfu that year
#Monsterdon

Hydra, Kerberos, whatever

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

This is really boring. #monsterdon

genderbent Daedalus I can get on board with

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TBH, I'm on Circe's side...

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Hercules, close your mouth, you're catching flies. #Monsterdon

maybe if i got some hercules blood my shoulder wouldn't hurt anymore

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#monsterdon The whales are deeply concerned.

I was wondering when Atlantis would get a shout out...

#Monsterdon

Hercules meeting the old witch (colorized).
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

No wonder vampires drink blood. #monsterdon

We doing vampires now?

#Monsterdon

The return key on my keyboard case just mysteriously stopped working. Going to be really annoying if this keeps up. #Monsterdon

that classic character from Greek myth, Carolkane

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@moira To be fair, maybe Hercules swam up the black sea

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Does this mean Hercules is canonically a South American!?!?!?

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#monsterdon
#hercules1983
Release the Kraken, I mean Hercules!

Hercules has woken up drunk at the bottom of a river before.
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

The best part of this movie so far is that Ferrigno is so fucking wooden he's dragging the entire cast down with him. #monsterdon

I forgot to mention that the stables look like two stone horses with a door between them. That is super cool. I like it a lot.

#monsterdon

@devilgirlbot I have done what I promised, now it's your turn

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And so the holy scion of purity caused a massive natural disaster. #Monsterdon

@diazona
Yeah, just ask it real nice

@ricci

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Those videos where people clean things....

#Monsterdon

@JoeWynne @ricci AI so it can invent one, I presume? 😂

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

@ricci There's like five constellations that are rivers, sticks, or snakes - one of those could be a few logs

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

@Taweret "I know what i'm going to do"
throw it into space
throw it into space
throw it into space
#monsterdon

"It's a shame no one can see you"

That veil is incredibly sheer and we can see her whole face.

#Monsterdon

@ricci “just a guy made of dots and lines” #Monsterdon

"They say these creatures come from the black isle--"

MARMO!?

"Thera"

oh

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Cassiopeia? Wrong hero alert again. That's another Perseus reference, and she sure isn't a love interest there.

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why haven't we cleaned the sacred stables in years anyway?

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Uh oh I've seen how this ends, Cassiopeia is going to get yeeted

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a tree trunk with handles, how convenient
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Cassiopeia's got the right idea, wearing a mask. These contestants have traveled from far away, who knows what pathogens they're carrying #monsterdon

@floatybirb There is a slight resemblance. #monsterdon

+1 *mario jump noise*

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Maybe *don't* do a closeup on the spikes so that we can see that they are spray-painted cardboard

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@cd0 #monsterdon He said "strong", not "smart"...

Because Herc can't get a break, while pulling some rocks to build a stonehenge or something, his mom is attacked and killed by a flying dragon transformer thing. He comes to her rescue and kills it with a stick, but now he is out of parents.

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"Herculues, what are you doing? That's your house."

"Let me answer your question with another question: Who the fuck are you?"

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"I don't have a house anymore."

"Well, you _did_ until you _burned it down_, genius."

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Who wore it better? Choices:

King Minos: Orange robe with shiny crown and also shoulder pads?
Daedalus: dressed like the Devil Girl from Mars but green

#monsterdon

Did he just set his stone house on fire?

#Monsterdon

Daedalus: In my defense, there's NO way I could have known someone would try to poke it

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Meanwhile in Crete or somewhere, King Minos summons Daedalus the inventor, who is a girl in this. She teleports in for their midnight conference beside the giant head pond.

Minos says that they have to defeat Hercules, so asks Daedalus to help, so she gives him some transformers that will turn into giant robot monsters when they enter Earth's atmosphere. So maybe they were on the moon and not in Create, who knows.

#monsterdon

Lou Ferrigno looks like Scott Walker from Heated Rivalry. Who is less jacked than LF, but still very jacked

#monsterdon

Just watching Lou run makes me tired, look at him go!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon This is not a good plow.

HAHAHAHA we get to see how small the miniatures actually are

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Finally some big muscles, I was dying from lack of thirst trap. #monsterdon

he's not a stepdad, he's a dad who stepped to a bear and LOST

#Monsterdon

bear :3

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And with those muscles, bingo! #monsterdon

I hate it when I'm mildly threatened by foam latex snakes with glowing eyes. #monsterdon

Loving how he delivered that line, like a stroppy teenager

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe #monsterdon

To be fair, if you're watching Ferrigno's Hercules, you can't be that smart. Oh. Oh, I mean except for us.

The audio is "divine son" and the captions is "protege" and I really want to know how that happened.

#Monsterdon

Thank you for the 10 minute special effects laden #FakeNews history lesson!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

lo, thought Zeus was going to flip the bird there...

spectacular effects, mind is blown

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why complete the job when slacking off is right there?

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I’m about ten minutes behind but even two minutes in this is goofy as all get out. Pandora’s… jar??? The whole point of the box was it closed again to contain hope 🤦🏼‍♀️ #Monsterdon

@JoeWynne but, Sybil Danning

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What is with thee noise this baby is making? Does the ADR company have a discount rate on goat sounds?

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If the early toots are any gauge, I'm going to have a hard time making it through tonight's feature. 😂

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Is that supposed to be a sword next to the crown on the ground? It looks like a churro with a cross guard.

#Monsterdon

This is some advanced level Shatnering

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Okay so in mythology Hercules is the son of Zeus because Zeus is a slut and keeps seducing everyone. But in this movie he's like um... some kind of cosmic light that the gods have picked as a champion.

Anyway, he's being sent in Baby form to Bronze Age Greece, 4000 years ago, in the city of Thebes where he's a prince. The model city shown looks nothing like bronze age greece, but it still looks really weird so I can't be too mad at it.

#monsterdon

this is either gold foil armor, or incredible pull strength.

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BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL #monsterdon

If Herc is a Man of Bronze, then he's automatically weaker than a Man of Steel. or even a Man of Iron.

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#Monsterdon

We aren't even going to get the background about Zeus being a dirty old man and cheating on Hera to father Hercules?!?!

I guess "making a man out of light" is uh, poetic license to the origins of Perseus? Which isn't even the right hero. And ok, I'll try to take off my "I was a giant mythology nerd in middle school" hat now.

#Monsterdon

I was kinda just expecting a standard sword & sandal adventure, I hope this cosmic grandeur sticks with us!

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why is the ancient greek monster movie doing a bullshit astronomy tho?

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in this movie we learned that all the planets are actually pieces of a jar that exploded.

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Hercules! Hercules!

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Starring Lou Ferrigno and many other people who will be wearing significantly more clothes. #Monsterdon

The MGM lion growling startled the cat, off to a good start

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@ShadowPlay "Only then will I return." #Monsterdon

This is Mirella D'Angelo, who played Xerxes in Hercules (1983). Wikipedia says she is 66 years old in this picture. #monsterdon

@hollie @Taweret phew, glad things are okay!

You missed a "good" one

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Think I got bingo. Some of these squares ard kinda iffy. 🤔

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983 #MonsterdonBingo

@davesdogmaggie Bet you've learned your lesson. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Oh right, double bingo 👯 #monsterdon #hercules1983

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

Face it. You loved Hercules (1983).
I've never seen so many toots in my life. Or so many yeets.

@diazona @kshernandez I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but I just want to stew in my self loathing for a while.

;)

#Monsterdon

Straight up tho' the funniest moment in the entire movie is when mid-conversation for literally no visible reason Ferringo's mantitties did a sudden spasm upwards. It was like they got spooked by something off camera and I couldn't stop laughing

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

subtitle: "thud"

#monsterdon #WrongHercules

@kshernandez @davesdogmaggie I mean to be fair it may have been yeeted into space early in the movie

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

@diazona I'm sure if he yeets enough of the Earth's mass into Space we'll have those seven moons in no time and there will be no consequences for any of this.
#Monsterdon

@xerozohar HERC WILL BE BACK

IN THUNDERBALL!!!

#Monsterdon

3 minutes in and I'm already confused.

#monsterdon #WrongHercules

@moira @CactuarJoe So is Alien Contamination, as far as I remember.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983