they only have one sound effect
#Monsterdon

Oh, hey there Romulan babe. #Monsterdon

who???? ... what?? science? ??? #monsterdon

when you put all your eggs in one basket by making one hero guy instead of improving all humans, you had better give him more powers than just being really buff, healing would be an obvious power for the protector of good #monsterdon

actual lols as he threw the bear into Space...and maybe the Phantom Zone as well!

so bold!

#Monsterdon

Athena wearing a fancy white dress is bugging me way more than it should. One of her aspects is a warrior goddess!

#Monsterdon

ok gods if you didn't want all your magical objects being shattered and releasing evil all over the place why don't you not just leave them floating around in space #monsterdon

"Hey Bob! I'm finishing the audio for the movie, what sounds to snakes make?"

"Like a really shady guy in intense pain."

"Thanks Bob"

#monsterdon

Snake? SNAAAAAAKE!

(MGS death jingle)

#Monsterdon

I have never seen a toddler wrestle magic snakes until today

#Monsterdon

Don’t just TELL EVERYONE about the secret passage

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Night, Day, Matter, Air… once the four kingdoms lived in harmony, until one day the Matter Kingdom attacked.
#monsterdon

@whiskeysailor Ferrigno was a great Hulk. The size was one reason. He was 6’5” tall. Most bodybuilders are much shorter.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

creating a demigod in space and then juicing him down into an energy sphere and shoving that inside an infant's body is a completely different thing than imbuing a baby with demigod powers. you made a mech not a hero #monsterdon

haha that was almost a ferrig-YES

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe #monsterdon

"...and the gods said: Let there be pants! And there were pants!"

Superman's backstory is really dumb.

I mean Hercules, same thing.
#monsterdon

Born fully adult and without a penis

#Monsterdon

Oh wow, it's like they raided a santa clause shop for those wigs.

#Monsterdon

Zeus did you bring enough Burger King crowns for the whole class?

#monsterdon

This isn't the Greek creation mythos at all. They even got the four elements wrong. How do you fuck up earth wind fire and water?

And what the fuck does Pandora's box have to do with anything?!?

#Monsterdon

Pandora's Jar is a big old spaceship, it's Chariots of the Gods time!

#MOnsterdon

Launching my #monsterdon thread for Hercules (1983) based on the mythological bisexual Herakles!

Monsterdon is the thing where we watch an old monster movie every week and make fun of it. It's a good time. Mute the hash tag if you don't want to see the inevitable 9999+ posts by me and everyone else about an old monster movie.

If you'd like to join next week, just follow @Taweret, the keeper of the weekly Monsterdon poll.

loving the Big Bang effect

#Monsterdon

I really only know Lou Ferrigno from the old Hulk series. Leading man, huh?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

if there is one thing i am taking away from the reviews of this movie it's that i should be extremely stoned right now #monsterdon

This is just how David Lynch's Dune started...

#Monsterdon

@ricci "Can I just see it grow a little bit? It would mean a great deal to me" #monsterdon

Ok Lou we get it, you got the big sword

#Monsterdon

I went to get a snack but kept my earbud in. Just now I couldn't tell if they were fighting, fornicating, or trying to roll a log off the road.

#monsterdon #WrongHercules

@Configures @diazona @kshernandez perfect.

#Monsterdon

It's gonna be a Herculean Task to stay awake during this film....

#monsterdon #WrongHercules

@socketwench OMG, there’s a sequel!!!

Sequel! Sequel! Sequel!

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089271/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk

#monsterdon #hercules1983

@diazona @davesdogmaggie True. Could be laying right up there beside that huge log. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

@Taweret a wild and fabulous Monsterdon!

#Monsterdon

@paco Huh, I didn’t recognize that was Bobby Rhodes, known for Demons (1985) and Demons 2 (1986).

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

@kshernandez

I KNOW!

#Monsterdon

@Configures It was a mythic mix and match of a movie.
#Monsterdon

mfer' s gonna have some severe saddle rash.

#monsterdon #WrongHercules

Pretty pissed at myself for not coming up with Hulkules.

#Monsterdon

So mad at myself for sitting through that entire gongshow.

*proceeds to watch the sequel*

Thank you, @miru

#Monsterdon

Golan: “So, think we’ve got time to rip off Temple Of Doom as well before the end of this steaming pile?”
Globus: “*looks at watch* Kali-Ma!” #Monsterdon

just laying here now reflecting on like...

...that was a movie alright. where a lot of things happened

#monsterdon

Part of the reason that Dorcon never became as powerful as Minos is because everyone snickered every time he proclaimed. "I am the great an powerful Dorcon!"

#monsterdon

Hercules! Action! Adventure! Muscles! Spambots!

Thanks as always to @Taweret for breaking the jar of regrettable cinema and the #Monsterdon crew for your scientific input!

Click here to verify yourself into outer space! 💪🌌

At the very least, I respect that that movie had a unique aesthetic and it stuck to it. And the miniatures work was pretty good! The overall writing and acting, though, whew.

Goodnight, #monsterdon! Tip your organizer @Taweret and see y'all next week!

That was the rubbish we needed this week.

Not so awful as to be unwatchable. Just awful enough for a good time.

#Monsterdon

Anyway, Tubi thinks I should watch a Jason and the Argonauts show from 2000. Pass. And see you next week.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Now I want to see the sequel even more.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

with better writing, music, and direction this movie could have easily been a 5.5/10

#Monsterdon

Well, I hope Lou saved/invested wisely. Thanks #monsterdon ers Take care. See ya soon.

That was boring beyond description - but I do dig the early 80s effects and rotoscoping.

#Monsterdon

@trixter sex of course #monsterdon

And the lovers EXPLODE into SPAAAAAAAACE!

Well that was outstandingly fun/bad/hilarious. Several big belly laughs at chez Wohali.

Big thanks to @Taweret for organising tonight and all of you for voting for this film.... how had I never seen this one before?

Special thx to @JoeWynne for the trivia and @cherizilla for the bingo cards (welcome back!)

Vote for something equally awesome next week. Can't wait to watch it with y'all.

#monsterdon

Well, someone wrote that

#Monsterdon

Oh no, their lawn jockey fell into the harbor! #Monsterdon

MY MINIATURES!

#monsterdon

Escape From Thebes

#monsterdon

OH right, this is why Atlantis is no longer with us, Hercules did it!

That's a very british visit to a foreign civilisation...

#Monsterdon

I don't feel so good, Mister Editor

#Monsterdon

Did we ever actually establish why Casio Peah is so willing to just simply walk into being sacrificed?

Like even if she was raised into it, she's very very calm about the whole dying thing.

#Monsterdon

"Sword of thebes"

it's Excalibur you thieves! Give it back, what have we ever stolen from the wor.....oh bollocks.

#Monsterdon

Offer it herc, I think he'd make a pretty good virgin bride

#monsterdon

Defeating minions through the incredible power of STANDING UP

#monsterdon

@blue Holy heck Sybil's outfit is sorta kinda historically plausible? NEAT!
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

and now we play "Minos or Furnace?"

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Substandard sorceress ropes... Must be temu ropes... apparently sorceress powers come with unrequited horniness. LOL.

#Monsterdon 💪 🧔‍♂️ 🐻 👊 🌌 🇬🇷 😱

no the drug needs to be drunk by the victim first, not the perp.

uh, wut

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe definitely Fash

#Monsterdon

@Louisa green lighting doesn't flatter anyone. you would think atlantians would have figured out bisexual lighting if they were so advanced #monsterdon

THERE IS NO UNCERTAINTY

YOU HAVE A TITTY SHELF

#monsterdon

Science!
#Monsterdon

Curse you and your sudden, but inevitable trap door.

#monsterdon

SCIENCE FOR THE SCIENCE GOD

#monsterdon

While watching the crystal ball TV, Minos dismissed Daedalus back to chaos and Minos explains that he's a scientist and will summon her again when he's ready to use science to eliminate the gods.

#monsterdon

I'm never standing over two well-defined squares

Not ever

#Monsterdon

meanwhile, on Krypton...

#monsterdon

Loving Daedalus's costume, gigantic shoulder pads

#Monsterdon

quick fall out of love with me by how i never hear a word you say so that you can get your powers back and heal #monsterdon

@heathen_cat oh yeah this is amazing

This is exactly why I always say the quality of the movie and the quality of the viewing experience are not related (except perhaps inversely)

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

I was vaguely aware they were going on a journey to somewhere specific, I think?

#monsterdon

"Are you absolutely sure you want to come?"

well damn, Herc

#monsterdon

bleugh #Monsterdon

#monsterdon *snerk*

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️ DEMI-TRIVIA 💪

💸 Director Luigi Cozzi wanted many more special effects, but the budget was too small. He complained about some of the effects that were used appeared poorly in the final cut.

#Hercules1983

Is that chariot really covered in tin foil? #monsterdon

@JoeWynne lol no way

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pillars_of_Hercules

#Monsterdon

Prometheus having winged horses sounds like a half-remembered to Helios's chariot

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Not mentioned, but his junk stayed normal size. #monsterdon

herc your studded leather miniskirt is riding-up in front
#Monsterdon

Compromise: throw them both into outer space

#Monsterdon

the test of the Icy Hot muscle relief

#Monsterdon

indianajonesandtheidol.jpg

#monsterdon

This is a Neon Genesis Evangelion level of mixing up European myths and seeing what happens!

#Monsterdon

"The soul of the world"

What mythology is this now?

#Monsterdon

What was the oil budget?

#Monsterdon

I have to admit the visual and sound effects in this are pretty charming and it does feel a lot like watching 80s cartoons

#Monsterdon

I take it back, it's not He-Man, it's Power Rangers. #Monsterdon