Hera has resting smelled-a-fart face

#monsterdon

We have Clash of the Titans at home.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

still better than Kevin Sorbo

#Monsterdon

Uhhh....what is he DOING to the tree....

Oh! He's lifting it out of the ground. Okay.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

feel for this actress having to run across rocks in her bare feet

Isn't this baby subplot the founding myth of a religion or two? I get confused with all the Terran beliefs...

#Monsterdon

Thick as Thebes

#Monsterdon

First scriptwriter: "HANG ON there is NOTHING in Greek mythology about the Olympians living on the moon, and also, why are we using Roman names for the planets but Greek names for the gods—”

Rest of the scriptwriting team: "SHUT UP, BRIAN!"

#Monsterdon

night and day being two of four elements is so awesome because light is not an element, only whether the thing you are riding on is in the way betwen you and light or not #monsterdon

@ricci #monsterdon #WrongHercules

he did a pretty cool roll over the table at the start of the fight.

@moira @Taweret I could go for a complete star chart of #Monsterdon constellations

Oh wow... I truly wish I had a screenshot of the face the "emperor" just made... That was, uh, something...

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe “Starcrash” is a masterpiece! I mean, a masterpiece of confusing sci-fi effects, but a masterpiece nonetheless!

#monsterdon #hercules1983 #starcrash

@davesdogmaggie Well, you can always be clever next week. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

#monsterdon Thank you @Taweret for a delightful and unexpected romp through my very formative youth. :)

@davesdogmaggie It was right there... #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

RE: https://mstdn.social/@davesdogmaggie/116157489151477487

It was foreshadowed though...

#Monsterdon

The Constellation of "two people fucking"

#Monsterdon

I... what? That was silly. Many things happened, but what?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

@jonny you definitely can.

#Monsterdon

Did I just watch a cocaine-fueled fever dream? #monsterdon

And herc was the real monster!

Thanks @Taweret for hosting and to everyone in #Monsterdon with your great commentary!

The case had a Sybil in it and she didn't play Sybil? Missed opportunity there.

#Monsterdon

"Are you really Casio Peah or are you one of the others reborn?"

"I'm all of them and none of them."

What? No. She's herself. She was there from the start. We don't have weird time shenanigans going on in this one. That's about the only thing that wasn't going on in this...

#Monsterdon

now you've done it hercules!!!! the lesbian volcano is erupting!!!! #monsterdon

What is happening. Why did this person turn into a space rock?

#Monsterdon

@moira @ricci lesbian tip and bisexual core #monsterdon

Please tell me this ends with the volcano being Vesuvius and killing Pompeii.

(I have no idea what's going on or if they named the volcano at any point)

#Monsterdon

@ricci lesbian

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

whoah, ColorFlame Sword.

#monsterdon

the scale ride kinda sucks.

#monsterdon

@allanb oh, i assure you

there's tape

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Princess Evilla doesn't learn very fast does she. #Monsterdon

an ASTRAL SWORD

a VORPAL BLADE

#monsterdon

is she giving herc E? where are the baby pacifiers and the candy necklaces?

#monsterdon

in the dungeon of Forbidden Magic cards

#monsterdon

Take the drugs, be a hero

#Monsterdon

...wait, didn't we see this nonsense in Planet Earth?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Chains will work this time, for sure

#monsterdon

"I've no doubt, my dear."

After all, your front-butt is perky as ever. #Monsterdon

Science for the science god!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

And then she just CGs away... Because apparently sorceresses CG away when they die. Bad synth noises and all.

This movie is... it's something...

#Monsterdon

lol, he looks just like the Hulk on this green island/planet

#Monsterdon

Circe falls in love and then dies. Convenient.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

I think some exposition just spilled all over us. #Monsterdon

"By the seven moons"

But Earth doesn't have 7 moons...

#Monsterdon

Aaaand we have butt. #Monsterdon

Hmmn … for some reason Lou Ferrigno looks just right in that green light. Just right.

#monsterdon #hercules1983 #theincredibleherc

Oh, so that's why she's wearing a swimsuit?

#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

Spammers dry-humping the Monsterdon crew like we're not experts at identifying bullshit

#Monsterdon

This is "fan on a boat pointed at the sails" level physics here. #Monsterdon

"Alright, get on"

W-what, here? Now? I mean I want to b-oh

never mind

#Monsterdon

YEET THE STONE! YEET THE STONE!

#monsterdon

Hercules, you can tie a knot, what the hell are you doing

#monsterdon

"Unfortunately, the budget won't allow for winged horses...."

#monsterdon

well okay we don't get to see herc's balls, but we did get to see herc's giant crack

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

I keep thinking "why is this happening" but that's not how you watch this move.

Oh wow, he just made the Straits of Gibraltar!

#monsterdon

Herc fucks around with hydrology again #Monsterdon

bet she's sweating like a hog in that plastic bodice
#Monsterdon

So the egg can cast Tetra Magic, so what. #Monsterdon

Is this all a Bene Gesserit trick?

#Monsterdon

isnt this a scene in dune

#Monsterdon

"TO SKULL ISLAND"

It's only a model :/

#Monsterdon

what in The Power of Greyskull...

#monsterdon

Oo, Thera needs Alka-Seltzer #Monsterdon

#monsterdon HERCULES WATCH OUT IT'S KILLDOZER

( the director's barely disguised fetish )

#monsterdon

Actually it might be Daedalus that wins the stupid hat contest

#monsterdon

I mean sure you can have ten drops of my blood but autoclave the knife first, hmmkay? #monsterdon

I like how any time there is magic bullshit in this movie you hear laser noises and see some bright neon lights.

#monsterdon

She's every right to pull a knife on him though

#Monsterdon

Oh good, another miscellaneous character with miscellaneous powers #monsterdon

She's gonna make him a genuinely disgusting omlette. #Monsterdon

@hollie #monsterdon

His skirt shrank bc it was made out of cotton.

At what point do human body builders have too much muscle to float? I don't think it's technically possible, but Hercules looks like he comes close. #Monsterdon

boobies almost out bathing suit codpiece curtain lady
#Monsterdon

Hercules, you did remember to evacuate the horses first, right?

#monsterdon

@log

New York Hercules did it too!

#Monsterdon

I don't remember the log constellation, which one is that one

#monsterdon

And that's how we got the constellation The Pencil #Monsterdon

YEAR OF THE HORSE!

#monsterdon

Lou was not hired for his ability to portray complex emotional feelings. #monsterdon

I burned down my house because I don't know why I'm so strong.

Sure, checks out.
#monsterdon

I just love the kind of fight choreography in which you can tell the participants were never in the same room at the same time

this is why I like Marvel movies

#monsterdon

A really big stick. Did they ever try that in a Godzilla movie?

#monsterdon

tbh they've not found a much better way of taking a drone out that by "throwing something at it"

Can Hercules fashion a crude laser out of mirrors?

#Monsterdon

steampunk drone attack
#Monsterdon

She ate some bad Dippin' Dots

#monsterdon

Uh oh, evil is so pretty... maybe we should we let evil win?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

This is all very Italian. #Monsterdon

When all you have is a Hercules every problem looks like heavy shit roped to a stick

#monsterdon

I can't watch Lou The Hulk be Hercules. Steve Reeves is the only one for me (mostly KSTW-11 long before MST3K came along).
#monsterdon

what the fuck dog???? #monsterdon

they only have one sound effect
#Monsterdon

Oh, hey there Romulan babe. #Monsterdon

who???? ... what?? science? ??? #monsterdon

when you put all your eggs in one basket by making one hero guy instead of improving all humans, you had better give him more powers than just being really buff, healing would be an obvious power for the protector of good #monsterdon

actual lols as he threw the bear into Space...and maybe the Phantom Zone as well!

so bold!

#Monsterdon

Athena wearing a fancy white dress is bugging me way more than it should. One of her aspects is a warrior goddess!

#Monsterdon

ok gods if you didn't want all your magical objects being shattered and releasing evil all over the place why don't you not just leave them floating around in space #monsterdon

"Hey Bob! I'm finishing the audio for the movie, what sounds to snakes make?"

"Like a really shady guy in intense pain."

"Thanks Bob"

#monsterdon