#Monsterdon 💪 🧔‍♂️ 🐻 👊 🌌 🇬🇷 😱

LOU!!

"Here, Lou, hold this shield in front of your crotch as we spin you around."

#monsterdon

A furnace of a thousand suns? I mean... one sun seems like a pretty good furnace if you're standing on Mercury. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

#monsterdon he was Skeletor for like a second there

Ah, yes. When I think of Hercules, the first and second words that come to mind are "strong" and "intelligent." #monsterdon

to be fair, this isn't far from actual Greek Gods' line of thinking.

#hercules1983 #monsterdon

Hercules was, of course, noted for his intellect...

#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

Oh hey look 80s incredible hulk is here.

#monsterdon #hercules

HE-MAN!

#monsterdon

We can rebuild him. We have the white mana. #Monsterdon

They re-used the producers table of cocaine for this shot. #monsterdon #trivia

Meanwhile Jupiter.
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983 it's lou!

I mean yeah, okay this does describe Lou pretty well

#monsterdon

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
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And then the moon Gods created Hollywood. And they brought forth Lou Ferrigno!!

Except actual, you know, labour. #monsterdon #Hercules1983

@GramrgednAngel The producers were so excited when they got it in their Happy Meal. Saved on props!

#monsterdon

Wrong! #Zeus would never talk to is wife 🙄
#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Every labor & every pain? Why isn't Hercules a woman? #Monsterdon

Are his underpants also made of light? #monsterdon

Zeus: Yeah, I'll just make a hot dude. That'll solve it. #Monsterdon

Wait, so... They're just picking some random human to superpower? Hercules isn't Zeus' son or anything?

We're just like, uh, throwing away every single bit of the source here aren't we?

#Monsterdon

Define intelligent #Monsterdon

#monsterdon the rotisserie is getting him to a nice golden brown

the original shounen anime
#monsterdon

bit? or tit?

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Hercules, super intelligent?

#MONSTERDON
#Hercules_1983

Hey this costume design is pretty cool. #monsterdon #Hercules1983

#monsterdon Did not expect Zeus to rock a Statue-of-Liberty-patina-green crown.

Athena, the goddess of wisdom, is in full no-thoughts-head-empty mode today

#Monsterdon

Well, stronger

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Lol, Santa is wearing his beard as his hair and borrowed a Gandalf beard

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon oh shit that’s Athena? We are in such deep doodoo

A body forged in the forge of a thousand suns - so, an Easy-Bake oven?

#monsterdon

The goddess of the great man of history theory. #Monsterdon

What a set of wigs and beards! #Monsterdon

gods, the early Q Continuum sucked

#monsterdon

I dig her crown tassels.
#Monsterdon

That's a Dollar Tree crown if I've ever seen one

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Costume design by The Fifth Element, okay #Monsterdon

my #monsterdon feed is scrolling sooooo fast

So everything in the universe is forces of evil huh

Sounds about right

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

The most plastic looking crown in human history

#monsterdon

Beam me up, Hermes. That's the transporter chief of the gods, yes? #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

#Monsterdon 💪 🧔‍♂️ 🐻 👊 🌌 🇬🇷 😱

Zeus or Santa?

#monsterdon Santa?

Someone beam us up the Gods.

WHAT YOU SAY!?

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Those are some "what does God need with a starship"-ass pillars

#Monsterdon

The god of obviousness, outlining what we were just shown. #Monsterdon

So, like a lot of adaptations, we get character names from Greek mythos, and the rest of just made up straight out of some dude's ass.

#monsterdon #hercules

The Greek Gods didn't live on THE FUCKING MOON

The OLYMPIANS lived on OLYMPUS

#Monsterdon

I couldn't have told this story any better. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

The world of mortal men is facing its hour of distinction.... time to fire the quad laser, gang!

#monsterdon

no wait SANTA CLAUS!?!? #Monsterdon

oh my god this place has a _working_ interociter?!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon So wait, all our Gods live on the moon?

Sometimes it's so easy to see which movies had LSD on set

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

well, the gods were the original space douches, i can work with ath

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

This is a very uninspired episode of Cosmos
#Monsterdon #hercules1983

That is frosting. Someone created that planetary surface with a flat spatula

#Monsterdon

MOONINITES #Monsterdon

MOON GODS :blob_dizzy_face: #Monsterdon

ah yes, mount olympus aka the moon

#monsterdon

"Then there was Earth. And on Earth there was life everywhere..."

Except this film. There was life everywhere but this film.

#monsterdon

Santa is very serious. #monsterdon

So… is this the sci fi version of Hercules?
#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

"They were not men. They were of the supreme race." They were women. #monsterdon #Hercules

#monsterdon Why would you claim the moon? The earth was right there

This could be the backstory of any movie

#monsterdon #hercules1983

The moon?! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 💪 🧔‍♂️ 🐻 👊 🌌 🇬🇷 😱

ok that's not true

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
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Gods on the moon! Whoa again!!

And so the world of the universe were created, and the moons that accompany them.

And all for less than $10 our of our special effects budget!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Saturn/Chronos, Mercury/Hermes, and Jupiter/Zeus

The worlds of the universe

fin

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983 GODS LIVE ON THE MOON wtf

oooooh the gods ARE the mooninites

well

the mooninites would agree

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

I think the Airplane 2 guy explaining everything which happened until now took less time than this intro.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

three to beam up, Scotty. #monsterdon

Anyway, as we learned from Krull, "fantasy/mythology but it's sci-fi" is my crack

#Monsterdon

Uatu, The Watcher...

#MONSTERDON
#Hercules_1983

Film, you've got to be careful about your terminology. You can't say it gave birth to the Colossus, Jupiter, because the Colossus is most certainly not Jupiter.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

@Taweret is _that_ why the preview had lightsaber noises

#monsterdon

I wonder if the story is going to start at some point.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Ladies first. #Monsterdon

Pandora's box as creation myth? Ok sure why not
#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

That line was subtitled as "And on Earth, the mystery of life," and I thought for a moment we were about to get a breakdown of the birth process. #monsterdon

@moira the explosion of the jar was of EXTRAORDINARY MAGNITUDE

#monsterdon

Where did this life everywhere come from? Was that another fragment of chaos or #Monsterdon

Very grid-like lookin stars

#monsterdon #hercules1983

#monsterdon #Hercules1983 but not as we know it

#Monsterdon

This is also where infinity stones come from.

#Monsterdon

Man, I never learned any of this stuff in my Astronomy class.

Jupiter wasn't a titan though?
#monsterdon

#monsterdon yo just saying Saturn is also a titan

Jupiter wasn't a Titan... #monsterdon #Hercules1983

And then... THE MOONINITES

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Spoke too soon. And that was before they misidentified the Colossus, which is famously of Helios. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983 each planet gets its own background story jeez

If you’d like to see Lou in the green but not as the Hulk, may I recommend:

https://youtu.be/X55Ac6oD6Sk?si=NPjKBsBAhT-kHKKs

#Monsterdon

JUPITER! WE WE GET STUPIDER!

#monsterdon