so far we've just got a bunch of jar fragments faffin' about

#Monsterdon

The Colossus of Jupiter, ancient wonder of the not to scale world. #Monsterdon

Waiting to see what their take on Pluto is
#monsterdon

So, uhm, these actual flames in space... They're like burning air and they're burning upward as if there's gravity and, uhm... I have... questions...

#Monsterdon

The jar kinda looked like a uterus

which I guess is appropriate

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

The censors wouldn't let us see Pandora's Box so she had to keep it in her jar #Monsterdon

This is a lot of cosmology set up. Hope it’s going somewhere. #Monsterdon

So much swooshing

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

This movie is like every sci fi bit of nonsense we've seen in the last, like, five years all condensed into one aesthetic and then smushed into Jason and the Argonauts like a PB&J sandwich #Monsterdon

#monsterdon what if the whole movie is just this planetarium show

Pew pew swooshy space sounds.
Not that expected from a Hercules film so far
#Monsterdon

so many liberties taken and yet we're sticking with pandora's jar (correct)

#Monsterdon

I am here for #Monsterdon but uncertain how late I'll make it. I've seen this one before.

https://www.themoviedb.org/movie/30577

The marketing for Hercules when it came out made it seem like it might have been a sci-fi take on the myth. Mom and I saw it in the theater. Fun but disappointing given our expectations. I think I've seen it maybe once since.

Were the filmmakers like, "We got all this Starcrash shit lying around, let's get some sweaty guy and blow and make a movie"?

#monsterdon #hercules1983

You heard it here first, everything in existence came from a jar

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Wow, this opening is really something. Not good, but something.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Hey, I have a question. How does the mythological cosmogony square with the prevailing Aristotelian philosophical belief that the universe was eternal?…

Never mind I'll just go sit over here.

#Monsterdon

This is one of those movies that Mike Jittlov would watch and think "I could have done these effects for 1/10 the cost and it would have looked WAAAAY better" #monsterdon #Hercules

Hercules IIIINNN SPAAACE!

#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

@srol I think the oldest versions of the myth say it was a jar, actually

#Monsterdon

Mercury doesn't usually flame....

#MONSTERDON
#Hercules_1983

It's because the jar broke that Pandora then got a box? Hopefully the box was high quality. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

I thought that was Uranus hur hur obligatory joke #monsterdon #Hercules1983

special effects courtesy Aweseom Van Paintings Ltd (1979)

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Narration hell yeah ✅ I'm getting some Manos the Hands of Fate vibes.

#monsterdon

how much prism can we put in this intro

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 💪 🧔‍♂️ 🐻 👊 🌌 🇬🇷 😱

oh no i got the hiccups

@foebrian #monsterdon

I say! This is a familly-orented stream! No perving after her "box"!

#monsterdon bc I’d watch that

#Monsterdon

Okay, I could do with fewer flashing lights.

I kind of like the audio effects. Very Commodore computer chip sound.

Wait, are the Gods from Saturn? #Monsterdon

Oh God, not THAT jar. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

@sakhavi Yeah, the universe just... made a jar. Somehow. And conveniently filled it with elements and stuffs. Look it makes sense!

#Monsterdon

the "cocaine is a helluva drug" version of Greek mythology

#Monsterdon

What about water, earth and love? /Without them we can't summon captain planet!
#Monsterdon #hercules1983

pew! whoosh!

#hercules1983 #monsterdon

One of my history profs told me to never ever start a biography with “So&so was born” (everyone was born, that’s not special)

But I suppose starting with Creation is a choice

#Monsterdon

This seems like a more thinly veiled excuse to blow some stuff up than a Mythbusters episode. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Jars were created at the beginning of time, don't ya know.
#Monsterdon

How many jars do you got in this place, Pandora

#monsterdon

Pandora's Amphora.

#monsterdon #hercules

The starship Heart of Gold!?!? #Monsterdon

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

Pandora's Jar made the Solar System? Whoa!

When Pandora’s jar exploded, they decided a jar was too fragile, so they used a box instead.

#Monsterdon

SPPPPPPPPAAAAAACCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon is every damn thing just gonna keep blowing up?

These Christian creation myths are getting really weird, gang.

#monsterdon

Ya know this isn't worse since than we usually get in Monsterdon. It might actually be more accurate than most. Just with lots of poetic license.
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

#monsterdon #Hercules1983 matter, doesn't matter....

This whole backstory is loaded with magic mushrooms and blunts. #monsterdon

... jar?

#Monsterdon

someone is seriously fucking with us here #Monsterdon

Is there any mythology/religion whose origin doesn't start in darkness?

#Monsterdon

CYBER AMPHORA

#monsterdon #hercules1983

As they say, don't put all your eggs in one jar
#monsterdon

we are really going to watch the SciFi hercules, arnt we
#Monsterdon

Pandora's jar just kind of ... happens in this version, I guess

#Monsterdon

Nooo disco jar. #monsterdon

Pandora’s…. Jar?

#monsterdon #hercules1983

I've found wandering.shop updates really slowly these days, making it really hard to follow #monsterdon so I'll be posting from my RPG account tonight as tabletop.social updates in real time. Don't know what is going on with wandering.shop

#monsterdon there came forth a jar? WHOAH

"Night, Day, Matter, and Air.

Then Eru, the One, made the Ainur and Melko got pissy because he couldn't have a solo and—”

(checks notes)

Whoops wait wrong mythos

#monsterdon

oh man the piece of the jar clearly hanging on a wire.... fantastic

#monsterdon

Jar. Box. Whatever. Stick with me here. #monsterdon #Hercules

Ah yes night. We always handled that element with great care in chemistry class.
#Monsterdon

pandora's JAR?

#hercules1983 #monsterdon

DISCO JAR

#monsterdon

We're starting this #Monsterdon from THE BIG BANG I hope they have good editing and it doesn't drag on

...Wait, pandora's JAR #Monsterdon

THE EN----- DAMMIT!

#monsterdon #hercules1983

someone left the universe ajar again

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

#monsterdon ooh a Simon jar

Over-under on how long it takes before I start wishing the primordial darkness had stuck around?

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Ah, yes, the four elements: Night, Day, Matter, and Air.

With these powers combined…

#Monsterdon

this is a LOT of exposition

#monsterdon

#monsterdon .....
and microplastics.

Ooh an alchemical exposition!! #Monsterdon

Pandora's Jar.... now in disco floor colours!

#monsterdon

Night and Day are elements? That's new!

#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

Man, Chaos and Darkness … get a room!

#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

Darkness, fireworks, Darkness, firewaterair?

#monsterdon #hercules1983

(Enterprise swooshes by.) #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

But everything changed when the fire nation attacked

#monsterdon

*takes notes for this science class*

#monsterdon #hercules1983

#Monsterdon 💪 🧔‍♂️ 🐻 👊 🌌 🇬🇷 😱

chaos + dahkness = elements (night, day, matter and air)

wait

and darkness moved upon the . . . Oops. Wrong mythology

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Very explod-ey darkness there, movie.

#Monsterdon

STELLA STAAAAAAAAAR #Monsterdon

Great another science lecture movie. #monsterdon #Hercules

#monsterdon what’s the atomic weight of matter?

Movie, I've seen the end of The Black Hole (1979).

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Wait, so the big bang was just some really bad fireworks and cheap explosion effects?

A lot of scientists are going to be very very disappointed...

#Monsterdon

Night and day. Yup, elements.

#Monsterdon

from the primordial chaos emerged...

this movie.

#hercules1983 #monsterdon

these aren't the elements i remember

#monsterdon

Night, Day, Matter, and Air? Screw you, Earth and Water! #monsterdon

“In the beginning”

Welp, we’re in for it

#Monsterdon

Chaos & Darkness, name a more epic duo. #Monsterdon

Can't wait to see the 80s special effects that mostly look like sparklers

#Monsterdon

"Chaos merged with Darkness, and from this union was born MAGA"

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc