NO NOT CABER TOSS, HERCULES

WRONG SPORT!

#monsterdon

They didn't send their best against Hercules, did they?

Just outflank his log you idiots!

YES!!!

Throw the log out into Space! seed the galaxy! Panspermia!

#Monsterdon

Hercules threw the bear into outer space. 🤦‍♂️😆

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

LOGGG INNNNNNN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!

#monsterdon

What could possibly be the point of these trials anyway

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

This is Hercules vs 100 5 year olds. #Monsterdon

Chariot with spikes? Bah, nothing compared to Greco Wrestling!
#monsterdon

i odn't know about these wrestlers, ii think dorcon just wants to keep watching hercules be a beefcake

#monsterdon

I'm guessing this movie was a hit at the drive-in theaters.
#Monsterdon

Just how many things will he be throwing into space? #monsterdon

oh we _do_ get a Wrestling Special, good

#monsterdon

It is at this point that I would be asking questions about my advisor...

#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

And now we shall test his absorbancy! #monsterdon #Hercules

Who is supposed to win this instead of Herc?

#MONSTERDON
#Hercules_1983

P is over here like: "How did they know his name was Hercules? He was just a baby in a boat!"

#monsterdon

So he was immune to sword damage the whole time huh

And they had that long boring sword fight anyway

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

Hercules is awesome at crack-the-whip!

“With the strenghth of ten, ordinary men” #Monsterdon

#monsterdon steel blades shattered against his skin, but ...we'll see, we've still got wrestlers.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983 WE'RE GONNA SEE WHOS THE BEST WARRIOR BROTHER

"With your permission, I'd love to feel him up, er, feel up his, er, feel..."

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

“Size like time and space is relative” ah so Daedalus *is* the TARDIS #Monsterdon

"Yes, He defeated the chariots, but can he defeat eight out of shape guys?" #monsterdon

Oh, hey, he's got that variable plot-mediated invulnerability like Swamp Thing! #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

I don’t remember the Ben Hur chariot scene going this way #Monsterdon

Thank God I watched The Pitt before this. Prepared me to see that pectoral movement. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 💪 🧔‍♂️ 🐻 👊 🌌 🇬🇷 😱

those gray chariot horsies are backing up for Lou so sweetly!

@nazokiyoubinbou #monsterdon

ikr if we removed the narration this would be like the perfect movie.

When you are that swole and dehydrated to show off your muscles, do your nipples hurt? They look like they are straining to hold back all that man meat.
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

[grunting throughout]

#monsterdon #hercules1983

I was hoping the test would be to throw a chariot into space. #monsterdon

Bring on.... the WRESTLERS!

#monsterdon

@moira the early -2880s maybe

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

I just got here - why is Herc taking a .... well, ...

#monsterdon

ohhh is that at least 4 horse power?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Shins of steel #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

"Listen, buddy: When I say 'jump', you ask 'How many chariots do I need to clear?'"
#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

"Ha, ha, got your chariot," as he snaps it off of their face.

#Monsterdon

@diazona :mario_flop:

#monsterdon

[grunts]

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

OMG, what even IS this movie... I'm dying...

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon
#hercules1983
Herc's pecs heave one at a time before he leaps.

how did those chariots not rip themselves to shreds?

#monsterdon

Just go ahead and jump #monsterdon #Hercules1983

Ah, the '82BC Troyan Cybertruck.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Able to leap exceptionally short buildings in a single bound!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

So far he's down four parents. He needs to regenerate his parent shield before the next disaster gets skydaddy Zeus. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Heracles would dominate the NBA with that vertical!
#monsterdon

The Pecs of Power

#Monsterdon

Herc will be both a warrior and the starter on the Athenian basketball team. #monsterdon

#monsterdon oh no they got the pec flexing treatment

I wonder how much of this flick's budget was spent on body oil. #monsterdon #Hercules

stop doing the pecs. your pecs don't look good. they look weird

#monsterdon

That was SO bad.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983 go go ferrigno pecs

Why did he jump if blades can't cut him? Why does he even fight? #monsterdon

Yanno, it might have been more useful to jump into one of those chariots, Lou.

#monsterdon

Manttites ACTIVE
Mantittes ENGAGED

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

that is gratuitous muscle. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Is he trying to summon Daedalus or the TARDIS #Monsterdon

@moira but it was made of ·stone·! 😛

#monsterdon

One of my favorite things ever is reading the #monsterdon toots with no context at all.

I don’t even know what you are watching, or where.

You could just ask him to jump really high if you want to find out if he can jump really high

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

#monsterdon Hey, check this out, we saw it in a movie!

Hercules is going to have to please these horses. #Monsterdon

the veil is to cover her slobbering

#Monsterdon

How much you wanna' bet he punches a horse?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Ben Herc? #monsterdon

Why swords go bling bling??? #Monsterdon

Obligatory Evil Vizier.

#MONSTERDON
#Hercules_1983

There he goes throwing his weapons away again. Do his hands sweat butter or something? #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

OK, the Star Trek-looking lens flare shield bashing is kind of fantastic. #Monsterdon

“That man is different from all the others. Send him to my quarters after the fight.”

#Monsterdon

"No one ever makes it the first time they jump."

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon not too hard for HERCULES

Floppy swords #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

They don’t care. Not even blood lust. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon you're very obsequious, Jorkon, and that's how I know I can trust you

Hercules goes to Tyre to seek his fortune. I seek my own fortune at Canadian Tire so we are kinda the same right? #Monsterdon

That man is different from the others. 🤔

#monsterdon #hercules1983

@davesdogmaggie Wait!! My Bingo card!! I didn't start it! #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

This is what people did for fun before TikTok #Monsterdon

This sounds like the slowest most boring sword fight ever

#Monsterdon

The Convenience Sword flashes RED on activation.

#monsterdon

Wait, what? These are just ordinary swords. Why are they doing magical 80s CG sparks and synth noises???????

#Monsterdon

I am convinced this whole thing was improv. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon
#hercules1983
Kenobi: You would have been killed too, Herc.

Hercules be like https://www.youtube.com/shorts/W85GOQPPjZ4 #monsterdon

Welp. Time to burn my own house down. I am smarter than other men, you know. Zeus said so earlier. Very smart. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

@davesdogmaggie He did. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Just like the self cleaning MutAnts from This Island Earth. I wonder if the giant locust was also pine scented?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

well, mom and dad are dad, guess i'll head to the city and make bank! 💰💪

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Oooh Biggus _and_ Incontinentia both made it this year, how lovely

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

"Gonna light this shit on fire, gonna light this shit on fire, gonna light my life on . . . FIYAAAAH"

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Who is this guy? Is he Hercule's neighbor? Little brother? #Monsterdon

Yeah, you don’t have a house BECAUSE YOU BURNT IT DOWN

#Monsterdon

Filled with the power of the gods and he can barely fight two people. #monsterdon

He always hated the mushroom house of his childhood.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

@Binder It's like an exhausted rubber chicken and one of those inverted moo-ing toys.

#Monsterdon

I'm astonished this passed for special effects. I mean this was 1983, not 1963. #monsterdon