Intruder alert!
#Monsterdon

So this is what she was up to before she married Miracle Max

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Damn, this movie is really bad 🤣
A lot of things happen, but nothing seems connected.
#monsterdon
#Hercules1983

Does anyone have any idea what the plot is? If so, please help. #Monsterdon

"Fairy goddess"?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon
#hercules1983
I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!

#Monsterdon 💪 🧔‍♂️ 🐻 👊 🌌 🇬🇷 😱

Sincerity test - you just have to know and say your name easy A, recommended

Everyone else just get a spammer thanks to the feed? #Monsterdon

This witch really knows her headology. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

What do you want, Temu Yoda #monsterdon

This island witch is kind of a know it all. #Monsterdon

Come, I will introduce you to the Sampo! #OhNo

#monsterdon

I wish they hadn't dubbed over Ferrigno's voice. #monsterdon

#monsterdon "Fairy goddess Athena"? I thought she was Psychic Type

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983 wow anybody else getting phishing messages claiming to be from the mastodon team? lol

That's the old woman from scene 34 of Monty Python and the Holy Grail!
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

We’re on Easter Island now??? I am so confused

#Monsterdon

Strong swimmers!

#Monsterdon

Not this way, Athens is
#monsterdon

Die oh accused Herc!!! #Monsterdon

Suddenly, o/~ I want a head like the heads you see on Easter Island! o/~ starts playing.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

So the stables are in the shape of horses because that’s what they contain; what shape is the outhouse? #Monsterdon

Hercules, punished by the gods for missing leg day.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Wonder Woman!

(Sorry, don't mind me....)

#monsterdon

baba yaga?! what're you doing in greece?

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

@sakhavi Does Space Hercules even need to breath?

#Monsterdon

WHY IS HE ON EASTER ISLAND

#monsterdon #hercules1983

@Taweret throwing more shit into their crib

#monsterdon

🗿
#monsterdon

oh. hello.... 🗿

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Those are moai? He swam to Easter Island? #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

I do really like the sound his chest hitting the sand made.

#monsterdon

@Taweret@timeloop.cafe It was supposed to be an interview for a bodyguard job, right?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

And apparently he swam to the South Pacific

#Monsterdon

Same around to the Pacific I see
#monsterdon

EASTER ISLAND!?
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Zeus, hang on, the H-Hold on this witch is on the fritz again.

#monsterdon

Wait, should Poseidon have to sign off on this first?

#MONSTERDON
#Hercules_1983

And he swam and he swam right over the dam

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

#monsterdon why’d he swim for days if he could stand up right where he was?

he swam through the middle where the horses couldn't go

swam so fast that the hounds couldn't cat

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

@CardboardRobot https://theconversation.com/a-shark-in-the-stars-astronomy-and-culture-in-the-torres-strait-15850

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

@rdm Where's #KateBush? Oh to be in love!

#Monsterdon

"We'll drown the strongest man in the world in waist-deep water!"
- The stupidest villains of all time

#monsterdon #hercules

Hercules is Captain America now, ok sure #monsterdon

Easter Island, of course....

#Monsterdon

Who's that again? Look unless you've got pecs like dinner plates Imma need you to wear an effing nametag. #monsterdon

I think the idea of feeding Herc.to the sharks may have … excited Dorcus.

#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

Hercules, somehow capable of holding breath while unconscious

#monsterdon

They take him “well out to sea” and drop him water that’s only 10 feet deep.

#Monsterdon

There's a whole bunch of whales around here somewhere...

#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

Lou Ferrigno sleeps with the fishes.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

I missed it.

Why does Hera hate magic space ball Hercules exactly anyway? I mean, there is no "Zeus was cheating on her" thing going on here or whatever. It's pretty much just she's a jerk for no reason I guess?

Or did I miss something?

#Monsterdon

Oh I hope he's going to yeet sharks into space next
#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

Whale noises really sell this Poseidon scene..

#monsterdon I wish those dolphins would shut up.

We gonna get a sharks constellation?

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Why does it sound like they're drowning a cat in that water too?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

The gods spend an inordinate amount of time looking puzzled.

For gods.

#Monsterdon

“Your highness” just arrived from her Penthouse shoot. #Monsterdon

How Hercules got his Groove Back 😏 #monsterdon

i forget why anyone is doing anything in this movie

#monsterdon

This beauty pageant is messed up
#Monsterdon

Feed him to the Sharkticons!
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

How does he keep his hair dry underwater? #monsterdon

Adriana's outfit is impressive, but I don't think polyester and spandex were readily available in ancient greece.

#monsterdon #hercules

ancient greek spandex #monsterdon

wow spandex with boob cups

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Nowhere near enough space for 1000 horses. Maybe they're very small horses? #monsterdon

his leer/sneer/laugh at her is HILARIOUS

"Why don't you ever feed ME to the sharks?"

#monsterdon

I'm confused.
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 💪 🧔‍♂️ 🐻 👊 🌌 🇬🇷 😱

oh no the ladies' costume designer really needs to be prosecuted for this one

Costuming by Frank Frazetta. #Monsterdon

did he just get cock-blocked by his own dad?

#monsterdon

Do her legs get tangled in that front thing when she goes swimming?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

He got Zeus-blocked

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Dorcus doing some of the most aggressive mincing I've ever seen on film.

#monsterdon

Oh come on, Zeus, they were just kissing. You’ve done worse

#Monsterdon

"Oh these wacky humans!"

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

@cocaine_owlbear Incidentally, the sequel is also on Tubi

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Just once I want the princess to remove the veil and she's got like big ol buck teeth and loads of freckles. #Monsterdon #Hercules

Wait, what just happened??? Why did they suddenly get teleorted and why did the teleporter malfunction and render them unconscious?

#Monsterdon

Gods has to break that up because Herc hasn't earned his penis yet. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

The Power Of Spandex!

#MONSTERDON
#Hercules_1983

@apLundell@timeloop.cafe She deserves to look pretty for herself, y'know?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Eat godbolt interloper!

#monsterdon #hercules1983

That moment when you get cock blocked by the gods.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Zeus is also the god of narcolepsy #monsterdon

Zeus fires his head laser. Like he always has in myths.
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

In the myths ol' Herc physically moved the river instead of just chucking a few rocks into it. (It was also the king's stables but nevermind.) They probably couldn't show that here since they blew all their budget on Lou's protein shakes.

#Monsterdon

god dammit zeus fuck off
#monsterdon

#monsterdon oh shiii it’s daikon

If he leches any harder, he's gonna need to divert another river to clean the mess in his pants!

#Monsterdon

Hercules.

Consent, you idiot.

#monsterdon

Kissing her was electrical. #Monsterdon

Ope! That's a smiting! ⚡

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Excuse me. A kiss was NOT part of the deal.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Lady, everyone can *already* see your face, that’s not so much a veil as a sheet of single ply toilet paper #Monsterdon

ZEUS ANGRY #monsterdon

Herc just standing there waiting for his two brain cells to find each other.

#monsterdon #hercules1983