Circe's gom jabbar! #monsterdon #Hercules1983

#monsterdon the SUPREME FREEZE!

Hercules and the gom jabbar!

#monsterdon

@wohali jinx coke etc

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

"Hercules, you're my density!"

#Monsterdon

It’s a good thing King Minos and Daedalus don’t need to breathe oxygen I guess #Monsterdon

Hold strong, Herc! it's only compositing! #monsterdon

I blinked. What is going on? Why is he trying to steal the magic egg inside space across the rainbow?

#Monsterdon

I see someone is a Dune fan

#Monsterdon

See, this is what I'm saying. Hercules is going to smash the world's egg and doom us all because he wasn't willing to ask a few more questions.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

What's in the box? Pain #monsterdon

Omg not a triple barrier of magic!
#infosec #Monsterdon

This is Circe's gom jabbar. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

#monsterdon they were right this is a terrible test

oh it's terrible alright

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Oh it's the gom jabbar. #Monsterdon

@Violinknitter It was 1983, they used ELIZA #monsterdon

FEAR IS THE MIND KILLER, HERCULES

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Hercules magically yeets his hand into space

and back

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Fear is the mind-killer, Hercules...

#monsterdon

the soul isn't the only thing in this movie that's inaccessible. points to some of these actors for doing the best they could with this script.

#hercules1983 #monsterdon

I have no fear. For fear is the little death that kills me over and over. Without fear I die but once.
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

"It may look simple, but only you can get it, if you can pass the test."

That's also in every AO3 entry based on this movie. #monsterdon

@yatsu

GET IN THE ROBOT, HERCULES!

#MONSTERDON
#Hercules_1983

They sure are playing fast and loose with mythology here. It’s confusing, and very on brand for #Monsterdon

It's not the soul of the earth, it's the Demon core!

#Monsterdon

The soul of the world is protected by gayness #monsterdon

sealed with a triple barrier to preserve freshness

#monsterdon

at some point, Herc is going to have to solve the riddle of the Sphinx, isn't he

#Monsterdon

@ramsey that's absolutely what it looked like…

#monsterdon

big egg for big boy
#monsterdon

"Don't be taken in by appearances," says the shape changing sorceress.

#Monsterdon

I thought Pandora's Jar was the primal seed

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

I’m usually a sucker for a mythology retelling. But this is painful. #Monsterdon

glowy E G G
#monsterdon

wtf are we doing next tot he soul of the world?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

"The soul is inaccessible..."

Wow, I wasn't expecting deep philosophy from this film.

#monsterdon

the soul of the world is an egg? that feels Evangelion coded.

#hercules1983 #monsterdon

@Louisa It really was!

I think we were supposed to be wowed by the sight of Hades but...

It was just a bunch of red and fog and stuff and we couldn't see anything. 😆

#Monsterdon

EGG.

#monsterdon

NYAHHH, HERCULES, FIGHT MY MINIONS #monsterdon

I wonder if the writers got sued? #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Is there a friggin movie this pos HASN’T ripped off?

#Monsterdon

Facehugger alert!

#MONSTERDON
#Hercules_1983

that thing's definitely got a facehugger inside

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Charon's gone goth!

#Monsterdon

I hope when they get in there they find Billy Zane being the Phantom #monsterdon

Just follow the yellow brick road to Hades
#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

This breath of the underworld foley could use a little something something less wheezy. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

yes, filmography, it's lovely composition skills, CAN YOU GET GOING

#monsterdon

@Taweret@timeloop.cafe It's been quite a ride so far! Not very coherent, but what can you do?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

So like just how historically accurate IS this #Monsterdon

Is that seed held in by caulk? #monsterdon

Hercules' life is nothing but tests. #Monsterdon

Don't pay the ferryman. #monsterdon #Hercules1983

One scene
Two scene

Red Filter
Blue filter

#monsterdon

Sharon looks like they aren't enjoying their career decisions.

#monsterdon

(Danzig intensifies)

#Monsterdon

All rainbows lead to THE GATES OF HELL dontcha know #Monsterdon

Endless stairway to the Temple of Eternity huh

Somebody has never heard about boundaries

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

I definitely meant to type Slurpee Falls.

I so dum

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon dramatic music to stand in ferryboats to

Hercules: “Circe, this boat moves way too slow. I could just walk there at this rate.”

#Monsterdon

#Rlyeh!

#Monsterdon

Charon is famously kind of a stickler for the rules, and yet in every one of these movies he's just like "yeah sure get on the boat, who gives a damn?" #monsterdon

#monsterdon we GET it he’s a skeleton

Yeah, this film is definitely a mashup of about 6 different films. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

this goes on for another forty minutes somehow

#monsterdon

i think he also lets people across to stir up shit with his bosses

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

If Lou Ferrigno agreed to dye his hair, he could be the He-Man in place of Lundgreen
#monsterdon
#Hercules1983

Does this neet to be in slow motion?
#monsterdon

Well at least Charon has cool costuming. #Monsterdon

ugh why is it so flickery

it's giving me a raging headache

#monsterdon #hercules

Oh yeah this guy seems fine, we should totally get in his boat.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Oh wow, Daedalus was also the woman with the red shoes in Dario Argento’s “Tenebrae.”

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Oh man Skeletor is down on his luck. He's just an Uber driver now.
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

#monsterdon Could this boat go a little faster, maybe?

COME SAIL AWAY

COME SAIL AWAY

COME SAIL AWAY WI

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

But Charon is... oh wait that one actually is Greek. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

And now the stairs are a rainbow bridge…

…are we **sure** they didn’t use ChatGPT to write this movie??? #Monsterdon

the boatman accepts bribes. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

"Can we shoot this in slow motion?"
"Nah, just play it back at half speed. Same thing." #monsterdon

@klu9 Sounds nightmarish... 😣 #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Imagine how bad this would be _without_ the narration #Monsterdon

#monsterdon these guys are so lucky Greece never gets cold

Odin filing a plagiarism suit

#monsterdon

@yatsu Lou's boobies

loubies

#Monsterdon

Well. Skull mountain was well named. #monsterdon #Hercules

Castle Greyskull. #Monsterdon

If I were in a theatre I'd be throwing popcorn at the screen. #Monsterdon

oh hey, greyskull castle #monsterdon

Crotch tassel or merkin?

#Monsterdon

@xerozohar yes please

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

They all sound like Pacman when they die. #MONSTERDON

"How many. Stairs. Have we. Descended now?"
"...Seven. Hundred."
"Lemme know when we get to a thousand.

I'm gonna puke."

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Red hot dry ice!

#MONSTERDON
#Hercules_1983

Somewhere over the gates of hell

#monsterdon #hercules1983

@kshernandez

I'd consider an endless escalator

#Monsterdon

Atlantis is at the center of the earth now, got it
#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

i mean, it'd complain about the outfits the ladies are wearing, but honestly Lou's pecs are getting more screen time than any boobies we're had on Monsterdon before, so it sorta feels like equality.

#hercules1983 #monsterdon