yeah i guess I could keep drinking ​:neocat_woozy:​ #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

"sure, those giant monsters couldn't harm him, but I bet these four random guards can get him." #monsterdon

No Cassiopeia, don't get in the cradle, just push Minos over the edge....ffs...

#Monsterdon

Minos is monologuing

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

If you sacrifice a virgin for science I'll give you tenure.. King Minos of Thira..

nice little tour of every way to break this dude's power. i'm sure no one will need that information in like 5 minutes.

#hercules1983 #monsterdon

That same blobby sword! #Monsterdon

it's Sokka's sword 😭

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Do you give this speech to all your virginal sacrifices?

#monsterdon #hercules1983

bet this guy totally buys into the cold fusion bs
#monsterdon

@ramsey first lesson of grad school

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Um, um, um that's not very phoenix legendy #monsterdon #Hercules1983 oh who am I kidding

Bride of the Phoenix??? What the heck??? I… whaaaatttt???

#Monsterdon

I must offer a virgin sacrifice to the phoenix every seventh equinox FOR SCIENCE

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon get in the fucking beginning and the end of all energy shinji #hercules #notTheCartoon

Cass is all: What happens if the bride is not a virgin? Just... hypothetically. #monsterdon #Hercules

Hot fusion reactor

#Monsterdon

"fused into total energy"

yes that kind of science

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Villain is being way too honest for a villain. #monsterdon

I'm not exactly sure how sacrificing Cass is supposed to help King Minos' evil plan to destroy the gods anyway. Don't the baddies normally sacrifice people *to* gods?

#monsterdon

I don't think any of this is in actual phoenix lore.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Kali-maaaaa....
Kali-ma shakti de!

Not so fast, Minoa-Ram! #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Oh this isn't the first time he's given this bird a girl, then.

#Monsterdon

@srol well it was terribly

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

#monsterdon must be an invisible phoenix?

Why Hercules isn't throwing something into space, the audience is asking why Herc isn't attempting to violate orbital mechanics.
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

oh, that explains a lot about Phoenix/Tempe/Mesa/Chandler

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

#monsterdon I want her to say "Virgin?!? Who told you that?"

Well, we just proved Herc is definitely not the epic hero here. Random NPC just gets murdered when he dodges that attack. He could have caught it. Heck, it would have just bounced off him anyway since we established sharp edges just bend against him. He wanted Random Background Lady to die.

#Monsterdon

I'm here for the last ten minutes and WOW these boobs #monsterdon #hercules1983

Ariadna gives Herc the black lotus drink to give him more mana or seduce him or something, and tells her that cass will soon be "turned to ashes" and this makes him mad and he breaks out of the chains and starts throwing people.

#monsterdon

Minos loves to name drop.

#Monsterdon

"ok make sure you bend your cleavage toward the camera when he grabs you" #monsterdon

You will cassiopay! #monsterdon

Stabbing never works, when will they learn

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Not even an oops my bad?

#monsterdon #hercules1983

"This is the phoenix - the fire bird!"

"Minos, it looks like a scale-shaped elevator."

#monsterdon

Hercules vs Batmen

#monsterdon

#monsterdon oh hi

The only thing left to the imagination is the plot.

#Monsterdon

Oh the choreography

#Monsterdon

THe ability to act at all while wearing that seashell and g-string outfit is actually impressive. #monsterdon

@socketwench "Mighty Zeus! That was the film negative!"

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Okay that was a pretty good dodge.

#Monsterdon

Wow, he's really grillin' 'em

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

We’re all hearing Herc’s dialog in Lou’s voice, right? I can’t be the only one.

Right?

#Monsterdon

No guard constellations either.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

I think the real reason she's going to be sacrificed of her own will is that name.

I mean, if I was named Casio Peah I'd be pretty upset too.

#Monsterdon

Soooo did Theseus already kill the Minotaur? #monsterdon #Hercules1983

Ball and chain from annoying the gods makes a decent starter weapon in NetHack, but here we are nearing the end of the movie. He should have at least an enchanted stalactite by now. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

#monsterdon ok, it’s been 10 minutes, he better yeet something else soon, union rules

tough luck for one of the maids

#Monsterdon

C'mon throw them into space, Herc. #Monsterdon

"open" he says, like it's a magic spell, Meanwhile two guys go to open the door. LOL!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Behold, Cassiopeia, beyond this door lies.... Fruitopia!

#monsterdon

Sorry to bail on everyone. This has been great, but I've had a long day. The Owlbear is done.

Take care of each other. Spread love, be kind, riff on bad movies.

Goodnight!

#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

When it comes to colour this #Monsterdon likes to go ALL IN like...we're doing BLUE BLUE MOAR BLUE then it's redredredRedRED!!! then it is CAN'T GET GREEN ENOUGH it certainly is a Look

"Om nom shiva!"

#Monsterdon

minos's first name, does he have one? he feels like a "steve." not the fun kind of steve either, the asshole steve.

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Mechanical centaur effects by Rob Bottin… ‘a roomate’s stoner cousin… ‘s cat #Monsterdon

[leans into hand on his chest]
".......Herc. Y'.

....y'wannabuyme drink."

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Now he's angry.

She shouldn't have made him angry.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Yeah, nah. #monsterdon #Hercules1983

To foil your plans I will make you drink the rarest Pokemon #monsterdon

Can I have some Black Lotus please

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Black Lotus is ok but I couldn’t get through season 2

Why is she still the same age as when Herc was a baby???? #Monsterdon

So ... LSD?

#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

Got a little nip showing there Sybil. #monsterdon #Hercules

Well, that was a blast! I hope to participate in the next #Monsterdon!

"It numbs the mind and awakens the senses. It has several citrus fruits in it. We call it..... Five Alive!"

#monsterdon

They keep putting Herc in chains. Did they even get the remnants of the ones they tried out on Fenrir Wolf before settling on the one with cat's breath and cetera? #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

@maple Somehow, despite having plenty of time to not do that.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Hey, that plan worked as well as could be expected. #monsterdon

down, down, down, do... dammit

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

NIP SLIP

#monsterdon #hercules

You know chains have no power on him. #Monsterdon

So, 90% of Ferrigno time in this movie is laying down of liftting rocks, is that it?
#monsterdon
#hercules1983

So many heartbreakingly beautiful people in this who never got the chance to act.

#Monsterdon

Director to costume design: "can we cut Sybill's top a little lower? We need just the slightest hint of nipple"

#monsterdon

y'know bowie was a way better labyrinth guy, this minos fuck's just a snoozer

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

only chains? that wont be enough to stop the unstoppable plotless man
#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

"Go and make babies with this guy for me" Excuse me what

#Monsterdon

How can you inflame passion if there is no emotion because SCIENCE!?

#MONSTERDON
#Hercules_1983

Minos is one horny MF. #monsterdon #Hercules

Wow Hercules chained down on a dais I'm sure that scene didn't stick w/ any viewers. #Monsterdon

😬

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

@trixter at least 1 bear's worth #monsterdon

no we're in Thera now! 🥴 #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

We have eliminated all uncertainty! ... Where was I? #monsterdon

"Your groom is eager to inflame your passions.

"Here, take some Benadryl first."

#monsterdon

Someone went to Burger King. #monsterdon

@diazona "any" 😆
#Monsterdon

No uncertainty!

...Where was I?

I see what you did there, movie. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

Fuck science! There is no uncertainty.... .... where was I?

Atlantis!

#Monsterdon

I’m not even gonna ask why Cassiopeia has mermaid shell bra thingies #Monsterdon

"There's no uncertainty!"

Waaaait, that's not science, that's FAITH. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon “there is no uncertainty! Where was I?”

"There is no uncertainty. Where was I?"

lolololol

#monsterdon #hercules