Well, that movie was oddly boring.

#monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie ooooh that's good

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

No bingo for me this time, despite a lot of checked boxes

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

I have returned from a trip to the snows outside to gather cheese spread from the great stables of cars.
So this one looks to be more of a basic Conan rip off. Just with Greek flavoring.
#Monsterdon #SevenMagnificentGladiators

Totally reading her lines off a pillar.
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon
#hercules1983
Mwah, good night everybody. Thanks to @Taweret for hosting and @ryan for streaming. Thanks for riffing on bad movies with me Mastodon pals.

#Monsterdon

I think I'll go re-read Waldrop's A Dozen Tough Jobs now, just to recover from this.

Thanks to all who participated and organized this.

Dear cod piece!
#Monsterdon

What is with that outfit! Look at this guy?!

#Monsterdon #7MagnificentGladiators

Poor Cassiopeia, I hate when my tinfoil dress gets caught in the paper shredder, too #Monsterdon

dud where's your pants?
#Monsterdon #Monsterdon2

My dude, I think you're wearing your wife's BDSM outfit.

#monsterdon #doublefeature #IdunnoSomethingAboutGladiators

No bingo sadly

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

@diazona Or, "mounds" the word? 🤭 #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Is this even a separate film, or is it just a recut of Hecules?

#monsterdon #doublefeature #IdunnoSomethingAboutGladiators

@combatwombat@hachyderm.io is it the same set peices too? #Monsterdon #Monsterdon2

@diazona Oh... ok. Mums the word lol #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Looks like the same director made another one in '85, so I'm just gonna keep rolling.
#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules

@strangefour Apparently Minos was the king of Thira, not Crete, in this story? I came in late. #Monsterdon
#Hercules1983

@combatwombat@hachyderm.io so i wasnt imagining the #monsterdon feed zooming by all night 😅

Well, that was a thing folks.

Signing off now, time for some lunch and a bit of yard work.

#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

Minos' sacrifice-contraption had an Italian racing-bike crank and arms.

#monsterdon
#Hercules1983

That’s a wrap! We just watched Lou Ferrigno flex for an hour and a half with some of the cheesiest dialogue, feats of strength, and bastardized mythology we’ve witnessed yet. It was great.

As always, thanks to @Taweret for hosting, @cherizilla for the bingo card, @JoeWynne for the drink recipe and trivia, @ryan for the live stream, @paco for data analysis at https://gallery.don.monster, @combatwombat for the replay, and all of you for making it awesome!

#Monsterdon

@kshernandez shhh we don't talk about that

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Minos: “*points gun at Cassiopeia, gestures at Spruce Moose* get in” #Monsterdon

That was much too good and the print was surprisingly excellent

#monsterdon #hercules1983

@yatsu It may be cannon, but it sure as hell ain't canon. #Monsterdon

"I'm all of them"?

Did I miss something?

#monsterdon

Still think the centaur automaton pulling the chariot would have been great. But the rock was pretty funny. #monsterdon #Hercules1983

@ramsey Yeah, that answer's a little suspect. #Monsterdon
#Hercules1983

#monsterdon
#hercules1983
I had a blast waatching this movie, but I don't know if I can stay awake for The Seven Magnificent Gladiators. I want to tho.

@combatwombat well deserved TBH

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

a cannon film

is it tho?

#hercules1983 #monsterdon

@ramsey Hey, he freed the Phoenix, too! Not just Casseopeia! #Monsterdon
#Hercules1983

She degraded into a Doctor Who vortex #Monsterdon

And so Hercules (literally) fucked off into the Sea of stars. Never to be seen again until Sam Raimi got a hold of him.

Thanks to all, and to all a good night! #monsterdon

now that's was a burning bag of crap on a damp basement.
Well, I had a blast, thanks for everyone sharing their thoughts!
#monsterdon
#hercules1983

#monsterdon Hercules, Yeeter of the Gods

Casio wristwatch isn’t special, everyone that tries to live in Phoenix gets burned to ash #Monsterdon

Actually I quite liked it #monsterdon #Hercules1983

@diazona Wait a minute. Isn't he like a Ken doll down there? #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

I had to zone out there for safety sake. The sci-fi mash up that no one needed. Hercules!
#Monsterdon

Thank you @Taweret and everyone for participating in this week's #Monsterdon
That was ... something.

if only post-processing had been a literal canon

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

And they fucked off into the celestial sphere, the end!

#Monsterdon

It’s not even John Williams. Though it’s trying to be. #Monsterdon

A movie that deserved none, yet all, of your attention. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

"sound man" "boom man" "special fx" okay I was with you until "special fx" because there's nothing special abou

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

I guess the bear cam back and crashed on them. Thanks @Taweret for hosting :) #monsterdon

Colossus? Or Burning Man? #Monsterdon

"The Friend" Roger Larry.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Whatever they were doing at the end was pretty explosive I bet

😛

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

The viewers looked upon the movie, and saw that it was dumb.

#monsterdon #hercules

Oh ok so the Phoenix brought fire to humans, Prometheus just had a flying chariot, got it
#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

'…and they formed The Constellation With Two Backs. The End.'

#monsterdon
#Hercules1983

Roger Larry as, the friend.

Oh, OK.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

They fucked off into the solar system and exploded!!

"Ben Affleck getting bad news on the door step meme" but Hercules just hurls the bad news out into Space.

#Monsterdon

Cassiopeia answered him in the most ambiguous way. “I am all of them and none of them.”

So...which is it?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Wait gang when do we get to see The Orient Express?

#Hercules #notTheCartoon

The volcano is erupting! Just as the old man foretold in scene 24! #monsterdon

And they fuck off into space.

Possibly literally.

#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

hot damn that kiss exploded both of them
#monsterdon

Couldn't figure out an ending so the writer blew up the universe. Typical.

#Monsterdon

And they fuck off into the stars

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Are you really Cassiopeia? Play something with your auto-chord

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Well, it ended like it began.

Badly.

#monsterdon #hercules

#monsterdon omg all that and they blew up in the end?

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

The ending, like the rest of the movie, makes no sense!!

Okay, weird blobby silhouette to use for a constellation but okay. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

And they kissed off into the sea. Of stars.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983 *and then they exploded*

ok that was .... a thing :D

Love the one you with, I guess. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

#monsterdon huh? We end on an enigmatic exchange about how they don't trust each other?

and they fucked off into the sky #monsterdon

BECOME THE BEAST WITH TWO BACKS

AND THREE LEGS

I GUESS

#monsterdon #hercules

The “bald guys in capes and swimming trunks” labor must have been, like labor three and a half, or something #Monsterdon

#monsterdon
#hercules1983
Wait Cassiopeia, you have to marry some guy named Ceto.

“The world has nothing more to fear”

Um

About that

#Monsterdon

Wait, what? Was she all the women in this film? Why are they silhouettes?

#Monsterdon

....what???

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983 wait is she a composite personality? what?

Wait where is Daedelus?
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

"neither do i with you in my arms"

eugh

#hercules1983 #monsterdon

KISS ME JERKULES

#monsterdon #hercules

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

You can just outrun a volcano.

"I'm all of them and none of them."

"That...that doesn't answer ANY of my questions, lady."

#monsterdon

Even the lava is green here

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

One tiny firecracker blew up a chunk of their tiny set.

#monsterdon #hercules

Take that Rhodes er Knossos er Thebes! #monsterdon #Hercules1983

I’m eager to see this Phoenix.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Hercules killed all those people just to free one person.

#Monsterdon

And so Atlantis fucked off into the sea! In spaaaaaace!
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

I bet blowing up that model was fun. #monsterdon #Hercules

The ending is AMAZING. #Monsterdon

So are the gods going to kill this woman now? Or are we breaking a clear pattern for comedic effect now? #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

HERCLUES WILL RETURN in HERCULES II: CIRCE'S REVENGE
#monsterdon

I guess the colossus of rhodes was actually the colossus of thera?

or something?

#monsterdon #hercules

And all the people who were just unlucky enough to live under the iron hand of Minos are dead

#Monsterdon

Load bearing pheonix sword.

#monsterdon #hercules1983