Well, that movie was oddly boring.
@davesdogmaggie ooooh that's good
No bingo for me this time, despite a lot of checked boxes
I have returned from a trip to the snows outside to gather cheese spread from the great stables of cars.
So this one looks to be more of a basic Conan rip off. Just with Greek flavoring.
#Monsterdon #SevenMagnificentGladiators
Totally reading her lines off a pillar.
#Monsterdon
#monsterdon
#hercules1983
Mwah, good night everybody. Thanks to @Taweret for hosting and @ryan for streaming. Thanks for riffing on bad movies with me Mastodon pals.
I think I'll go re-read Waldrop's A Dozen Tough Jobs now, just to recover from this.
Thanks to all who participated and organized this.
Dear cod piece!
#Monsterdon
What is with that outfit! Look at this guy?!
Poor Cassiopeia, I hate when my tinfoil dress gets caught in the paper shredder, too #Monsterdon
dud where's your pants?
#Monsterdon #Monsterdon2
My dude, I think you're wearing your wife's BDSM outfit.
No bingo sadly
@diazona Or, "mounds" the word? π€ #Monsterdon #Hercules1983
Is this even a separate film, or is it just a recut of Hecules?
@combatwombat@hachyderm.io is it the same set peices too? #Monsterdon #Monsterdon2
@diazona Oh... ok. Mums the word lol #Monsterdon #Hercules1983
Looks like the same director made another one in '85, so I'm just gonna keep rolling.
#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules
@strangefour Apparently Minos was the king of Thira, not Crete, in this story? I came in late. #Monsterdon
#Hercules1983
@combatwombat@hachyderm.io so i wasnt imagining the #monsterdon feed zooming by all night π
Well, that was a thing folks.
Signing off now, time for some lunch and a bit of yard work.
Minos' sacrifice-contraption had an Italian racing-bike crank and arms.
Thatβs a wrap! We just watched Lou Ferrigno flex for an hour and a half with some of the cheesiest dialogue, feats of strength, and bastardized mythology weβve witnessed yet. It was great.
As always, thanks to @Taweret for hosting, @cherizilla for the bingo card, @JoeWynne for the drink recipe and trivia, @ryan for the live stream, @paco for data analysis at https://gallery.don.monster, @combatwombat for the replay, and all of you for making it awesome!
@kshernandez shhh we don't talk about that
Minos: β*points gun at Cassiopeia, gestures at Spruce Moose* get inβ #Monsterdon
That was much too good and the print was surprisingly excellent
@yatsu It may be cannon, but it sure as hell ain't canon. #Monsterdon
Still think the centaur automaton pulling the chariot would have been great. But the rock was pretty funny. #monsterdon #Hercules1983
@ramsey Yeah, that answer's a little suspect. #Monsterdon
#Hercules1983
#monsterdon
#hercules1983
I had a blast waatching this movie, but I don't know if I can stay awake for The Seven Magnificent Gladiators. I want to tho.
@combatwombat well deserved TBH
@ramsey Hey, he freed the Phoenix, too! Not just Casseopeia! #Monsterdon
#Hercules1983
She degraded into a Doctor Who vortex #Monsterdon
And so Hercules (literally) fucked off into the Sea of stars. Never to be seen again until Sam Raimi got a hold of him.
Thanks to all, and to all a good night! #monsterdon
now that's was a burning bag of crap on a damp basement.
Well, I had a blast, thanks for everyone sharing their thoughts!
#monsterdon
#hercules1983
#monsterdon Hercules, Yeeter of the Gods
Casio wristwatch isnβt special, everyone that tries to live in Phoenix gets burned to ash #Monsterdon
Actually I quite liked it #monsterdon #Hercules1983
@diazona Wait a minute. Isn't he like a Ken doll down there? #Monsterdon #Hercules1983
I had to zone out there for safety sake. The sci-fi mash up that no one needed. Hercules!
#Monsterdon
Thank you @Taweret and everyone for participating in this week's #Monsterdon
That was ... something.
if only post-processing had been a literal canon
And they fucked off into the celestial sphere, the end!
Itβs not even John Williams. Though itβs trying to be. #Monsterdon
A movie that deserved none, yet all, of your attention. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983
"sound man" "boom man" "special fx" okay I was with you until "special fx" because there's nothing special abou
I guess the bear cam back and crashed on them. Thanks @Taweret for hosting :) #monsterdon
Colossus? Or Burning Man? #Monsterdon
"The Friend" Roger Larry.
The viewers looked upon the movie, and saw that it was dumb.
Oh ok so the Phoenix brought fire to humans, Prometheus just had a flying chariot, got it
#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
'β¦and they formed The Constellation With Two Backs. The End.'
#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
π§ πͺ π» π
They fucked off into the solar system and exploded!!
"Ben Affleck getting bad news on the door step meme" but Hercules just hurls the bad news out into Space.
Cassiopeia answered him in the most ambiguous way. βI am all of them and none of them.β
So...which is it?
#monsterdon Wait gang when do we get to see The Orient Express?
The volcano is erupting! Just as the old man foretold in scene 24! #monsterdon
hot damn that kiss exploded both of them
#monsterdon
Couldn't figure out an ending so the writer blew up the universe. Typical.
And they fuck off into the stars
Are you really Cassiopeia? Play something with your auto-chord
#monsterdon omg all that and they blew up in the end?
#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
π§ πͺ π» π
The ending, like the rest of the movie, makes no sense!!
Okay, weird blobby silhouette to use for a constellation but okay. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983
And they kissed off into the sea. Of stars.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1983 *and then they exploded*
ok that was .... a thing :D
Love the one you with, I guess. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983
#monsterdon huh? We end on an enigmatic exchange about how they don't trust each other?
and they fucked off into the sky #monsterdon
The βbald guys in capes and swimming trunksβ labor must have been, like labor three and a half, or something #Monsterdon
#monsterdon
#hercules1983
Wait Cassiopeia, you have to marry some guy named Ceto.
Wait, what? Was she all the women in this film? Why are they silhouettes?
....what???
#Monsterdon #Hercules1983 wait is she a composite personality? what?
Wait where is Daedelus?
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
KISS ME JERKULES
#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
π§ πͺ π» π
You can just outrun a volcano.
"I'm all of them and none of them."
"That...that doesn't answer ANY of my questions, lady."
Even the lava is green here
One tiny firecracker blew up a chunk of their tiny set.
Take that Rhodes er Knossos er Thebes! #monsterdon #Hercules1983
Iβm eager to see this Phoenix.
Hercules killed all those people just to free one person.
And so Atlantis fucked off into the sea! In spaaaaaace!
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
I bet blowing up that model was fun. #monsterdon #Hercules
The ending is AMAZING. #Monsterdon
So are the gods going to kill this woman now? Or are we breaking a clear pattern for comedic effect now? #Monsterdon #Hercules1983
HERCLUES WILL RETURN in HERCULES II: CIRCE'S REVENGE
#monsterdon
I guess the colossus of rhodes was actually the colossus of thera?
or something?
And all the people who were just unlucky enough to live under the iron hand of Minos are dead
Load bearing pheonix sword.