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allanb
a simple test: one night with me in a bathtub filled with hot oatmeal
#Monsterdon
Judgment Dave
davesdogmaggie@mstdn.social
More exposition, sniveling man. More.
banderkat
banderkat@twit.social
"Accompany my daughter. This is no easy task. She's a real pain and I look forward to getting her out of the house."
#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
Shannon Prickett
Binder@petrous.vislae.town
Hercules just nodding along like he has any idea who Cybele is.
Harvey Sandstrom
cd0
Mmmm. Sinew-y. #monsterdon
raptop (π― π· πππ)
Newpa_Hasai
@ricci Sagitta (sort of)
[empty]
allanb
Meenos the meanie
#Monsterdon
The Witch of Crow Briar
crowbriarhexe@tech.lgbt
βI donβt have a house anymore, or a familyβ well duh thatβs because you just set them on fire!! #Monsterdon
Shannon Prickett
Binder@petrous.vislae.town
AmyFou ποΈ
amyfou@lingo.lol
#Monsterdon πͺ π§ββοΈ π» π π π¬π· π±
Cassio-PAY-ya??
Floaty Birb
floatybirb
We go to Tyre, which is in Phoenicia and also looks not very Phoenician, where Herc is doing his hero exam by swordfighting some dudes while the king watches. Naturally when you hit two swords together they gleam like light sabers.
Then the king sends some scythe chariots to fight Herc, and he gets out of the way by jumping in slow motion. The chariots come back, but he declines to get out of the way but instead breaks the chariot blades on his legs and pulls apart the chariots.
Nick
turgon@dosgame.club
this is how we got the log constellation
jadebees
jadebees@sunny.garden
Who is Greek Wormtongue, and what's his beef with Hercules?
Blue
blue@bigshoulders.city
well at least they've established his finisher
PurpleJillybeans :PrideDisk:
PurpleJillybeans@kind.social
2001 BC - a space oddity
#monsterdon
Karen Conlin
GramrgednAngel@beige.party
SPAAAAAACE LOOOOOOOOOG
jonny (nonvenomous)
jonny@neuromatch.social
i am shitting myself with the log crushing strategy that is incredible, who would have even thought of that #monsterdon
jammerb :twit:
jammerb@twit.social
Logs in space!
Blake C. Stacey
bstacey@icosahedron.website
@floatybirb I mean, I know which fit I wish *I* could rock
π€Robot Enby Xeroπ€
xerozohar@retro.pizza
Quick, send the randos! #monsterdon
Xoa Gray
xoagray@tiggi.es
Okay, I am amazed he did in fact not punch a horse. At least not yet!
nhgeek
nhgeek
My man skirt is shorter than your man skirt. #monsterdon
raptop (π― π· πππ)
Newpa_Hasai
...did the swords clip through his legs?
Cardboard Robot
CardboardRobot@mstdn.social
Hercules you are clear to land, over
Floaty Birb
floatybirb
After burning his mother's body, he decides to also burn down his house. A friend who we don't know know the name of has shown up for this funeral and is like "wtf why are you burning down your concrete mushroom house" and Herc is like "woe is me i dont have a family any more my strength brings me woes" and then announces that he's going to Tyre to "seek his fortune" because the king of Tyre is holding a contest to determine the Ultimate Warrior for a Special Mission.
Judgment Dave
davesdogmaggie@mstdn.social
And thatβs how you tear your rotator cuff.
rj
arrjay@tacobelllabs.net
MAN OF STEEL
AmyFou ποΈ
amyfou@lingo.lol
#Monsterdon πͺ π§ββοΈ π» π π π¬π· π±
binnnnngggooooooooo
Srol
srol@mellified.men
If it seems like the test isn't as hard as they implied, it's because Hercules is doing it wrong. He's supposed to eat the chariots.
Solarbird :flag_cascadia:
moira@mastodon.murkworks.net
You can tell it's still the early 80s because wicker chariots are still in fashion
Shannon Prickett
Binder@petrous.vislae.town
Those sword rims can NOT be street legal. #Monsterdon
David Zaslavsky
diazona@techhub.social
We should have had flexing pecs on the bingo card
Lazarou Monkey Terror πππ
Lazarou
Solarbird :flag_cascadia:
moira@mastodon.murkworks.net
'k honestly don't hate that composite shot even if it makes no sense.
banderkat
banderkat@twit.social
Love how all the special effects are improved with laser flashes. Very period appropriate
#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
Softwarewolf
faoluin@chitter.xyz
Your majesty, today is Chariot Chuesday
The Embodiment of RED :fire_t:
thraeryn@masto.hackers.town
goddamn, every MFer and the mom they were doin' simply DID NOT want to see a sword onscreen unless it had partial feature parity with a lightsaber
#Monsterdon #Hercules1983
strangefour with the Pleiades
strangefour@retro.pizza
Dorkon? His name is Dork-on?
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
Sam Levine
SRLevine@neuromatch.social
The other guys only get one sword and Hercules gets two? And no one has a shield, yet they are using single hand weapons?
Crazypedia won't Comply π§Ώ
Crazypedia@mypocketpals.online
I'm pretty sure this movie takes place in a galaxy far far a way...
#Monsterdon #Hercules1983
wohali
wohali@timeloop.cafe
what a weird delivery that guy who is advising the king is giving, even accounting for the Italian overdub
Canageek (Roleplaying account)
Canageek@tabletop.social
That is sure the sound swords make when they hit one another!
Are we sure this wasn't a Star Wars movie at one point?
raptop (π― π· πππ)
Newpa_Hasai
Why is Hercules' gear enchanted to do electrical damage?
Brooke Vibber :neocat_cofe:
brooke@bikeshed.vibber.net
#Monsterdon #Hercules1983 are these.... laser swords or something?
strangefour with the Pleiades
strangefour@retro.pizza
So far this is Star Wars, Conan, ZOIDS, and a cartoon understanding of mythology put in a blender.
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
Cactuar Joe
CactuarJoe@retro.pizza
So when Herc wasn't working the plow or tearing up the forest he was learning to use the sword and shield? #Monsterdon
π€Robot Enby Xeroπ€
xerozohar@retro.pizza
I've seen this star trek episode #monsterdon
Overdrawn at the Gravitas Bank
EmptySet@dobbs.town
Giant, killer, robot insect drone dies sounding like Pac-Man.
Mister Softie :dp_knife:
whiskeysailor@reefahoy.boats
Of course swords spark like lightsabers!
#monsterdon
Judgment Dave
davesdogmaggie@mstdn.social
More glowy effects. Sweet!
teledyn π
teledyn@mstdn.ca
Ok. This is the most terrifying #monsterdon yet. Terrifying not the least because it was made π€£
Matt Panaro
eigen@mattstodon.panar.ooo
@cherizilla I think the implication is that the bear in fact becomes Ursa Majorβ¦
Brooke Vibber :neocat_cofe:
brooke@bikeshed.vibber.net
#Monsterdon #Hercules1983 go to tyre where they have some fires
AmyFou ποΈ
amyfou@lingo.lol
#Monsterdon πͺ π§ββοΈ π» π π π¬π· π±
Lou, you're stronger than most men because you pump iron and take anabolic streroids
Lazarou Monkey Terror πππ
Lazarou
@yatsu "I can't give up and go home, I burned it down!"
Canageek (Roleplaying account)
Canageek@tabletop.social
Just burning down a perfectly good house? Someone else could have lived in that! Wasteful!
The Embodiment of RED :fire_t:
thraeryn@masto.hackers.town
uh, Herc, that house is made of foamed cement
like, you feel how you can't even feel the fire inside. yeah.
saucerlost
All I have is my ADR voiceover
wohali
wohali@timeloop.cafe
"Where will you go?"
"To tell people of my strength...and help them achieve it themselves. I shall call it.... Crossfit!"
David Zaslavsky
diazona@techhub.social
Well of course you don't have a house because you literally just lit it on fire
Bluedepth
#monsterdon Yeah, holy moley! I've seen this one before! Minos over the top, Daedalus, supposed to be Icarus's father, ahem, and then Lou Ferigno... Yeah, not a really huge surprise I turned out to be such a queer geek. LOL
Captain Button
cptbutton@dice.camp
Lazarou Monkey Terror πππ
Lazarou
Joe Watching β½ποΈπ΄πΊ
JoeWynne@mstdn.plus
π¦#MONSTERDON ποΈ
βοΈ DEMI-TRIVIA πͺ
π° Menahem Golan wanted to make a bundle by producing a movie like the successful Hercules in New York 1969 (starring Arnold Schwarzenegger).
He knew that Conan (1982) was also very successful and it had gore, nudity, and sex.
1/2
Shannon Prickett
Binder@petrous.vislae.town
Solarbird :flag_cascadia:
moira@mastodon.murkworks.net
Pippin running like hell to find someone to stop Hercules from burning his live mother
Sasha Akhavi
sakhavi@aoir.social
#monsterdon and farewell all this flammable grass
Violinknitter
Violinknitter@wandering.shop
βAnd the Gods sent A Locustβ
βYou mean a swarm of locusts?β
βNope. Singular insect. Big, metal, has no clear function.β #Monsterdon
strangefour with the Pleiades
strangefour@retro.pizza
RIP Ma and Pa Kentacus.
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
Softwarewolf
faoluin@chitter.xyz
The famous second labor of Hercules: defeating the dreaded mechanical grasshopper from Mars
[empty]
allanb
welp, time to burn mom in the backyard
#Monsterdon
Solarbird :flag_cascadia:
moira@mastodon.murkworks.net
[muffled] I'm still alive!
"Miss Movie Masochist"
socketwench@masto.hackers.town
The Timex Death Flyer was a short lived product disaster.
Shannon Prickett
Binder@petrous.vislae.town
Is he shooting it w/ a stick? How is this combat developing? #Monsterdon
David Zaslavsky
diazona@techhub.social
@bunnyhero this whole movie should be in quotes
Void Chicken
Taweret@timeloop.cafe
Ferrigno is roided up past the point where muscles even look good. he's crossed over to where it just looks like something is wrong with him
Mark Shane Hayden
msh@coales.co
Hercules vs. MECHA MONSTER right on :blobrainbow: #Monsterdon
bobert
combatwombat@hachyderm.io
What was the plan here, flap him to death? #monsterdon
Cactuar Joe
CactuarJoe@retro.pizza
Well that's just embarrassing. #Monsterdon
bunnyhero
bunnyhero@timeloop.cafe
strangefour with the Pleiades
strangefour@retro.pizza
A super strong boy who came from space but wants to just live as a farmer? More likely than you'd think.
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
Log πͺ΅
log@mastodon.sdf.org
Mechamothra not as good as organic Mothra. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983
leece
leece@aus.social
Mothra ! #monsterdon #Hercules1983
jadebees
jadebees@sunny.garden
Herc, I think you're supposed to plow the earth and then sow it with dragon's teeth, not plow it with dragon's teeth.
AmyFou ποΈ
amyfou@lingo.lol
#Monsterdon πͺ π§ββοΈ π» π π π¬π· π±
hercules vs mechamothra!
Noah S. McKinnon
nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party
#monsterdon people don't know this, but Hercules' Greek name, "Herakleios," translates to "Luke Skywalker."
Andy L.
apLundell@timeloop.cafe
#monsterdon This is a weird movie.
Matt Panaro
eigen@mattstodon.panar.ooo
I feel like he ran a lot faster for his mom than his dadβ¦
Paco Hope
paco@infosec.exchange
And thus, Mothra, defender of Earth was born.
TheREALPaulJohnson
RobynGoodfellow@mastodon.murkworks.net
That's what happens when you leave your parents just lying around Herc. #monsterdon #Hercules
Ben Ramsey
ramsey@don.monster
Hercules launched a bear into space, and we're supposed to believe heβs struggling to pull three medium-sized boulders?
banderkat
banderkat@twit.social
Ah yes, evil plans are much improved by representation in model form
#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
Shannon Prickett
Binder@petrous.vislae.town
Look at that oiled piece of meat run. #Monsterdon
Aging Owlbear :lgbtq_heart:
cocaine_owlbear@retro.pizza
Hercules β¦ we have an ox, you know.
ShadowPlay
ShadowPlay@nerdculture.de
Dalek drones!
ano yatsu
yatsu@retro.pizza
herc can't hear you calling, his muscles are creaking too loud.
Noah S. McKinnon
nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party
#monsterdon who's this asshole on the horse
Shannon Prickett
Binder@petrous.vislae.town
Hercules is too naive to know that most people use oxen to plow their fields. #Monsterdon
Blake C. Stacey
bstacey@icosahedron.website
Aww right, now we're gonna be in for shit that makes no sense whatsoever, and I am *so* ready for it
Nazo
nazokiyoubinbou@urusai.social
That is literally the dumbest way to plow a field I have seen in my entire life.