Oh so she's a Bene Gesserit

#monsterdon #hercules1983

@klu9 @Terencio @MatthewTitus88 True. True.

#Monsterdon

What's in the box?

PAIN

#monsterdon #hercules

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983 it's the gom jabbar!

@Lazarou At least with Evangelion, it gave the vibe that some of the mythology might just be reporting names

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

I mean, even then they knew the phrase, "If you wanna travel maybe a hundred fifty miles, you gotta break a few cosmic, all-encompassing eggs"

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Maybe disinfect that blade fi... nevermind.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

#Monsterdon 💪 🧔‍♂️ 🐻 👊 🌌 🇬🇷 😱

there are just a lotta tests. I hope this one is as easy as the sincerity test.

Test? Is it multiple choice? #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

@ramsey @MatthewTitus88 #monsterdon

Yo, look at Herc's chest, fam!!!

@surdfish Considering what they spend on the rest of this movie, probably fiddy cents, and whatever used motor oil they could scrape up.

#monsterdon #hercules

"protected by a barrier" and that barrier is a facehugger

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

#monsterdon I do not trust Lou Ferrigno with the soul of the world

#monsterdon It's a giant gatchapon machine.

You need to get the sphere with the charm in it.

@Terencio @MatthewTitus88 When did we see boobs? Did I miss that?

#Monsterdon

That Hand of Destiny shows up again in Invisible Sun ttrpg #Monsterdon

Wonka’s chocolate river is scarier

Just sayin’

#Monsterdon

I guess attributing every deed to the same hero regardless of their origin isn't completely out of line with how mythologies develop

#Monsterdon

It's Big Her's first time encountering a Spirit Halloween

big moment!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Engage bizzare mecha mythological creature number 75. #monsterdon

Circe gives Herc a quest to go fight a Hydra that guards the gates of hell so they go into a dungeon and see some skeletons.

Then the laser dragon appears and starts shooting lasers, so Circe tells Herc to use the shiny shield to reflect the rays back at the monster, which he does and then it screams and disintegrates into pink and magenta flashes, so they can advance to the SCP stairwell that goes to hell.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

The river Styx is what you get downstream from the Stygian stables after you run a river through it..

Remember, tip your Charon #monsterdon

It's definitely something different for Cassiopeia to be sacrificed instead of Andromeda

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Holy crap, it's Castle Grayskull!! #Monsterdon

Are we gonna meet SKELETOR?!

#Monsterdon

Unidentified skeletons, how you guys doin?
Still not talking I see.
#monsterdon

SKULL MOUNTAIN? Eternia?!

What in the name of He-mancules?

#Monsterdon

A rainbow bridge? Does everything have to be woke?

*I am mocking the people who would say that now. You know, the ones in red hats

#Monsterdon

Cool giant skull island. Herc why not just give up the quest and settle down with Circe on Skull Mountain and start a Horde.
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Yo I kinda like Xerxes. She's smart and knows all these cool hang-out spots. They oughta make a movie all about her instead.

#monsterdon

Did they just include Bifröst with Greek mythology?

#Monsterdon

This movie has very confusing mythology. And that's coming from a Pathfinder fan.

#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

They said "Hell" but meant "Hades", probably

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

The rainbow that leads to the gates of hell seems a little homophobic #monsterdon

Did fundies write this

#Monsterdon

Oh wait I was calling Ariadna the Evil Hot Lady but I realize that Daedalus is also an Evil Hot Lady so this movie has multiple Evil Hot Ladies, which is good.

#monsterdon

the rainbow bridge takes you to the gates of hell? fundamentalists must love this movie

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Yeah you can see it grow a bit, but stand back a little because can't afford to rotoscope you out. #monsterdon

Is Skeletor in there? How much He-Man are they going to crib? #monsterdon

#monsterdon omg that’s where my puppy went???

That’s a vaguely better mechanical monster than the last one #Monsterdon

RE: https://nerdculture.de/@ShadowPlay/111264267489223584

See! Now that's a Hydra!

#Monsterdon

Honestly, looks like K-9’s oversized little brother #Monsterdon

...it just...dissolved itself? the hell was that?

#monsterdon

"The endless stairway will lead us to the center of the Earth"... and beyond!

#monsterdon
#Hercules

ahem

#monsterdon

If only he were super intelligent, so he could think of that....

#MONSTERDON
#Hercules_1983

Ask your parents to buy you the Hercules & Robot Hydra playset today kids.
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

It's like Cannon kinda paid attention during Greek Mythology 101 but was mostly reading comics

#Monsterdon

These are the worst effects I have seen in a movie in a long time and I have seen some really bad movies!

#Monsterdon

Judging by her reaction, Circe does not appear to have thought this plan through at all. #monsterdon

oh no the pink strobe of DOOOM!

#monsterdon

Uh, youw dwagon needs moaw points of awticuwation

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Circe's metal bodysuit is certainly a choice . . . And that fringe placement is another

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

MECHAGODZILLA!!!

#Monsterdon

pew pew pew

#monsterdon #hercules

Visually this #Monsterdon movie is like if the original 1980s Clash of the Titans and Star Trek the Motion Picture went on a major bender together and this is the resulting troubled child

I suddenly have a desire to watch Return To Oz.

#monsterdon

I kinda lost track of why Xerxes was such a bad person. All she's done so far is help Herc.

#monsterdon

Flash, ooh ooh. Saviour of the universe. #Monsterdon

Just another night down at the lifestyle club. #Monsterdon

“Could I just see it grow a bit? It would mean a great deal to me. Please?”

It’s not *that* kind of movie!

#Monsterdon

@annathepiper

That's why it is called "Research And DEVELOPMENT."

#MONSTERDON
#Hercules_1983

"Could I just see it grow a little bit?"
I ship Minos & Daedelus. I hope these crazy kids can work it out.
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Oh, Minos, you're such a size queen.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

"Could I just see it grow a little bit?" [Raises eyebrow suggestively]

#Monsterdon

Picking up in real time with #monsterdon 50 minutes late, while fixing up a nightcap, I'm hoping this at least means they're done with the riveting "history of the kosmos" scene these all start with.

on preview: oh wow that's a lot of pectorals and farting laser sounds we got there #hercules #notTheCartoon

cosmic rays? so it's basically a star.

#monsterdon

cosmic rays!

x-rays!

microwaves?

#monsterdon

COSMIC RAYS

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

"It spits cosmic rays of deadly fire"

So ... just fire.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

Cosmic Rays of Deadly FIRE!!

I see, Daedalus is Q #monsterdon

"Another mechanical monster? The last one didn't work so well, you know."

- Every Gatchman episode ever

#Monsterdon

I believe we just got a toy boat in this movie! woohoo toy boat woooo!

#monsterdon

Daedalus made a Ghidorah?!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

This feels like a movie from the 60s, that some production team in the 80s decided to redo the special effects for.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Minos & Daedalus are looking sympathetic just because they have an agenda. #Monsterdon

Circe’s enunciation is the best in the movie so far

Every single consonant crisp

#Monsterdon

"Can I see it just grow a little bit?"

Welcome to meme country.

#Monsterdon

it's not quite ladies in lakes with swords

but it still sounds like a bad system of governance

#monsterdon

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

Garden of Eden.. let's have all the myths together and hit Frappe.

The wizard who is officially a witch explains that she is on Herc's side against King Minos and Ariadna, this movie's Evil Hot Lady, but needs to drink her blood to um... tell her stuff. So she pricks him and drinks his blood and then de-ages 40 years and starts glowing and tells us that she is Circe the Sorceror so we can have more ancient greek mythology shoutouts in the ancient Greek mythology movie.

#monsterdon

That blood did wonders for Circe's wardrobe. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

why does he need a shield. he's fucking hercules

#monsterdon

It's dangerous to go alone. Take these. #monsterdon #Hercules

#monsterdon Greek goddesses had a mylar budget.

ANOTHER LIFE FORCE STEALING TROPE
They're in every freakin movie. #monsterdon

"And to advise you what to do.....because you're more brawn than brains frankly.....sorry.."

#Monsterdon

Barely hidden fetish.. blah blah blah. #monsterdon #Hercules

Ferrignosploitation

#Monsterdon

Cool shells. Are you holdin'?

#Monsterdon

Lou Ferrigno was picked for this film after he showed the casting director he could curl 30 kilos of Ibsen and bench-press the complete works of Shakespeare

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

Circe just sucked blood to de-age.. man I don't remember Greek myths like I thought I did..

“I’m not a witch, I’m your wife.”

#Monsterdon

oh right, Circe. #monsterdon

oh no herc, you killed someone hot

#monsterdon

Oh damn she's a hot vampire witch. Herc hit the jackpot.
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

10 drops is a curiously specific amount of blood

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc