And mecha centaur fucks off into the sea

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

The third round of mechanical monsters is here. (Still cheesy) #Monsterdon

oops! Gallium Defender of the Isle!

#monsterdon

After going through the trouble to get a flying chariot, we bail out of it and splash into the sea and then swim to Thira.

Circe informs us that she has no powers now because she's horny4Herc (tm) now and you can only have love or magic in this world, not both!

#monsterdon

okay, Krull came out like, a year AFTER this, right? so were the warrior death sounds MIMICKING THIS?!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Lou's looking in his element on this green island. #monsterdon #Hercules

Now he's killing Sagittarius.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

#monsterdon so much for science

That is no AT-AT and he is no Luke Skywalker

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

What's the point of a metallic one-piece if it can't reflect death rays back at the attacker?

#Monsterdon

Does the "green island" give them the munchies?

#monsterdon

Wait, what's that about a black lotus?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

wtf is a Seventh Moon?!
#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Did they sacrifice the Black Lotus for 3 mana of any color?

#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

Seventh moon? Where are we, Jupiter?

#monsterdon #hercules

But even if Xerxes gives up her witch powers, she still has her smarts, and her connections at the cool hang-out spots... right?

#monsterdon

I think the most amazing thing here is that she fell in love because he threw a rock. That was the pivotal moment. When he threw a rock. Her magic was all 100% up until he threw a rock.

#Monsterdon

I wonder how the Primordial Darkness is doing...

#monsterdon
#Hercules

Herc says to Circe "thanks, but now our roads must part" but Circe is horny now and she's like "I'm coming to Thira too let me touch your pecs. my magic will help" even though she was like "oh no my magic cannot help in Thira" before but Herc is like like "Okay"

And then he yeets the rocks into the air in accordance with prophecy and they fly through the asteroid belt because this movie makes sense.

#monsterdon

@strangefour@retro.pizza Colossuses are very popular these days!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

@saucerlost

I guess they thought anyone watching Hercules (1983) must be a complete sucker

#Monsterdon

“Never mind. We’re here” #Monsterdon

If Event Horizon is a Warhammer 40k movie, then Hercules is a Zoids movie.
#monsterdon

#monsterdon kind of leaving her hanging after she confesses her love, douche

"Herc, Herc, you're coming in too fast."

"It's just like bullseyeing womprats in my T-16 back home."

#monsterdon

Never mind, we’re here

#monsterdon #hercules1983

The Colossus of Rhodes? Err Thera?
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Loving the mix of Classical and Futuristic for this city

#Monsterdon

Why didn't NASA think of this? Slackers. #monsterdon

Why did the rope break?

Love. It's a whole thing. I can explain later. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

How DARE you MAKE ME fall in love!?

#monsterdon #hercules1983

#monsterdon I wonder why they needed a magic carriage.

The rock was doing all the work.

...and Hercules yeeted himself into space

yup

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Hercules understands orbital mechanics better than Jeb.

#monsterdon

Space...The Final Frontier
#monsterdon

and now that we've violated thermodynamics, LET'S GO!

#monsterdon

They just passed the Enterprise in space dock.

#Monsterdon

What was that weird overlay?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

best scene ever

#monsterdon

Wait i think i saw #Thor do this once!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

They're gonna run over the bear, aren't they. #Monsterdon

"Are you absolutely sure you want to come?"

ok, ok... it's time for that picture

#monsterdon

There isn't a bra in this entire film which doesn't look *agonizing*.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Who needs a Pegasus when you can throw a rock?
#monsterdon

Now create some horses

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Ok, which of you (either former scouts or shibari practitioners) can enlighten us as to what knot she just tied very fancily. #Monsterdon

@nhgeek

tin foil... OF THE GODS!!!!!!!

#Monsterdon

What's the matter, Herc, never earned your knot tying badge in Hellas Scouts?

#monsterdon #hercules

Magic was eventually outlawed due to constant noise complaints.

#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

This is a freaking waste of claymation

#Monsterdon

The two goddesses (I think Hera and Athena, but maybe not) decide Herc and Circe are having too easy of a time making continents and fighting evil, so Zeus decides to give Circe a gift from Aphrodite and make her fall in love, probably with Herc, thus causing problems.

#monsterdon

OK the stop motion with the rope is cute.

#Hercules1983 #Monsterdon

OH MY GOD HE'S GONNA THROW IT.

MORE SPACE! MORE SPACE!

#Monsterdon

Oh the old Rope Trick spell.

#Monsterdon

I love getting spammed by phishers on mastodon.social during #Monsterdon

hey masto.social fix your stupid shit.

#monsterdon #hercules

lol, this is like one of those 'how to' videos on YouTube

#MOnsterdon

The spam-reporting is cutting in to my watch party riffing, @mastodon.social . Get your stuff under control. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

I guess Lou's size viagra was temporary..

I just want to point out that these rocks couldn't look more like they were made of foam if you could actually see the foam.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I mean tbh I can’t think of anything to replace magic flying horses either.

Tap tap. Tap tap. Yep. These rocks are all Styrofoam. #monsterdon #Hercules

The effects in this movie are just.. . and the set pieces... just what? who got these after the movie?
#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

i'm bored hercules throw the chariot into space

#monsterdon

Hercules seems to have suffered some shrinkage since the last scene

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

lol, DIY SOS

#MOnsterdon

To be *extreeeemely* fair, in the period when this is nebulously set, "Africa" could have meant a region on the southern coast of the Mediterranean, not, you know, the whole continent

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon no Hercules cannot think of anything.

#Monsterdon 💪 🧔‍♂️ 🐻 👊 🌌 🇬🇷 😱

oh so Lou is back to his normal levels of giantosity now I guess?

He's normal size again. Does that mean we're in space since atmospheres make things grow huge?

#Monsterdon

ram it with your head!
#Monsterdon

I have to go behind this rock so we can do a force-perspective shot. Hang on. #monsterdon

Behold! The Glory Hole of Circe!

#monsterdon

Why shouldn't a sorceress fall in love? Did I miss that day in school?

#Monsterdon

@strangefour this honestly is a better He-Man movie than the Dolph Lundgren one…

#monsterdon

Plate tectonics! #Monsterdon

does hercules really need to put his hands i the waist while he is, ahn, growing? it's disturbing.
#monsterdon
#hercules1983

@diazona 😂 Move along, nothing to see here
#Monsterdon

the king and queen of Africa looking at each other like that sequence of Hercules growing gigantic awakened something in someone

#monsterdon

Can herc fight Zoidberg now?

#monsterdon #hercules1983

This plot coupon is totally useless. #monsterdon

Hercules is a grower not a shower?

#monsterdon

Oh... we doing kaiju Ferrigno now. Aw heck ya. Check out them mountainous pecs! #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

is this where they get out a pump?

#monsterdon

Oh shit is he gonna turn into a kaiju!?!?

#monsterdon #hercules1983

If Xerxes has to pray for her magic, does that mean she's a Cleric class?

#monsterdon

this bit with Hercules growing in size is how cocaine feels....

#Monsterdon

Say King of Æthiopia like a normal person, Circe

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

I'm just going to assume this all makes more sense in italian

#monsterdon

King of Africa...

uh...

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

I've seen this TNG episode #monsterdon

she coulda just said, "Beam me up!"

#monsterdon

Carry me, Diaper Boys! #monsterdon

Is she just summoning a taxi?

#Monsterdon

@Bwee everyone's probably distracted by #Monsterdon :P

A gom jabbar? #Monsterdon

The glaive! Oh wait, no, just a necklace. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

I love how Hercules go to action is "HURL IT INTO SPACE"

#Monsterdon

my mind is filling in all the visual "blanks"

#monsterdon

@moira Ah ok. I was stuck on the concept of Hercules books and how they would probably be really short and in super-big print

#Monsterdon

This is like a really annoying greek mythological version of helping someone get their keys out of a storm drain. #monsterdon