> flaming sword

never mind

#monsterdon

Hey! You're giving me owies with that! #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Hercules vs the Rainbow Blade. Dare your touch that man's flaming saber Herc?
#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

the sword of lesbos :0

#monsterdon

Cass, why did you just walk into the volcano execution chamber why didn't you run away or punch King Minos or something?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

My sword of science is better than your pecs of enormous strength!

I mean you have to be pretty brave to pull a tiny little dagger on Herc right after he defeated a handful of faceless henchmen. Big props for spirit. #monsterdon

Every time he throws something in slowmo I expect the 6 million dollar man bionic noise. #monsterdon #Hercules

okay they got a pretty good damn out of it.

#monsterdon

@srol Oh, yeah. If you don’t pay *very* close attention it seems like this incredibly well written movie is a complete mess.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Dude, you’re Hercules. You threw a cow and a log into space. Open the damn door yourself!

#Monsterdon

poor Cassiopeia always knew her Nickelodeon career might end like this

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

#monsterdon I like a king that turns his own elevator crank

My wife (rightly) hates female characters that don't get stuck in with a fight (if they can)

#Monsterdon

Cassiopeia: “I thought Party City went out of business, but you made a dress out of party streamers just for me 🥹🥹🥹”

#Monsterdon

Take the sword in hand, Cassiopeia, and claim the Mandate of Heaven!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

The kind of science that runs on virgin sacrifice
(altho I suppose that would describe a lot of postgrad students)

#Monsterdon

Lol
"Swordbender"

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Volcano holds the key to my power, sword holds the key to my power, is there ANYTHING that doesn’t hold the key to your power?

It doesn't look like a cheap prop at all

#Monsterdon

I don't think you want to be around when you convert 50 or 60kg of human into "TOTAL ENERGY"

#monsterdon #hercules

@diazona “For ‘science’ to work, I must offer it a virgin bride.”

#Monsterdon

wait there was a bride of the phoenix? I only read the Price and the Fate, I had no idea it was a trilogy

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

#Monsterdon 💪 🧔‍♂️ 🐻 👊 🌌 🇬🇷 😱

um I don't think science needs a virgin sacrifice

Every tenth line, Minos comes REALLY CLOSE to sounding like Brian Blessed. It's such a tease. I wish he were Brian Blessed.

#monsterdon

I mean black lotus sounds pretty awesome NGL. #monsterdon

ah yes, the phoenix, famously scientific

#monsterdon

YOUR volcano? #monsterdon

@Lazarou valid

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

That stupid dagger will have no effect. #Monsterdon

So when he said "inflame your passions" he really just met "set you on fire."

#monsterdon #hercules

@Lazarou it's just the rules

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

This whole movie reminds me of the space opera Todd writes in Bo Jack Horseman

When the bathing suits are still too much fabric, the gods will demand pasties.

#monsterdon

you didn't need to spear that old broad right in the stomach and leave her writhing around like that that is so much #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 💪 🧔‍♂️ 🐻 👊 🌌 🇬🇷 😱

this is very silly indeed

So the minoans were known for their boob-exposing dresses... and I think with the evil Ariadna they were going for a thing that looked minoan but did not show us any nipples.

#monsterdon

Yeah chained up hercules is not a barely-hidden-anything. #monsterdon

seashell pasties :neocatGooglyWoozy:​
#monsterdon

We're overdue for something to be tossed into space.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

#Monsterdon 💪 🧔‍♂️ 🐻 👊 🌌 🇬🇷 😱

Minos says 'OPEN' to the door, the door's supposed to magically open, but no, that's just the way he tells the centurions to go open the door I guess

For a guy who flung a bear into space he's sure having trouble tossing these dudes across the room. #monsterdon #Hercules

While on his rescue mission, Herc fell into a trap door and is now chained in an Atlantean dungeon... wrapping him in chains is an odd choice, since we've seen him escape from chains underwater, but maybe these are like... super chains.

#monsterdon

Herc, it's been a while since you yeeted anything to space

Just sayin'

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

That sacrificial chamber atrium has poor lighting. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon “Block him!” may not be the invigorating rallying cry you think it is

@Newpa_Hasai Planet Earth had an entirely different and less interesting kind of nonsense IMO

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

The Black Lotus.. drink deep my hero.. to enhance the pleasure I will give you..

Well, maybe I can stay a LITTLE longer..

I shudder to imagine that the Black Lotus of Magic might have been based on this 🤦

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

"Drink the cocaine, Herc" #monsterdon

dude, let's get wrecked! this'll make you _real_ dumb, it's great, try it

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Wait, we never see what THE BLACK LOTUS does? THat was a lot of setup for no payoff.

THis might not be the most well-written movie.

#monsterdon

At least now we know why all the acting is so wooden. Thanks to science (?) they have done away with all emotion.

#monsterdon

This movie really has two modes, doesn't it?

Agonizing bra or no bra.

Herc is definitely in the no bra camp.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

i don't know how this movie going to end with fifteen minutes to go but my guess is "abruptly"

#monsterdon

Do we really need a passionate Herc? #Monsterdon

like every monarch, King Minos harshes the mellow #Monsterdon

Unnecessary voice-over is unnecessary. #monsterdon

Boob Bingo! 4 across!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

I too have no emotion or hope. Especially when it comes to this movie.

#monsterdon

“We have eliminated all doubt. There is no uncertainty. … Where was I?”

#Monsterdon

But I will show the world! I will create my own race of atomic supermen!

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

That's not how science works....

#monsterdon

@nev innit?! #Monsterdon

How much cocaine do you think was consumed in the making of this movie? 🤔

#monsterdon #hercules1983

“Why did the rope break?” well see it turns out it wasn’t a rope after all but a flimsy excuse to get the hot witch wet #Monsterdon

"we have eliminated all emotion"
except for smugness.

#hercules1983 #monsterdon

"Science"... I do not think that word means what any of you think it means

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

Use the black lotus? So she needs mana of any colour? #monsterdon

narrator about to drop a "find out on the next exciting episode of dragon ball z" on us isn't he
#monsterdon

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
🧔 💪 🐻 🎇

Daedalus is a chaos tech bro.

"Science for the sake of science."

me: okay at this point "science", as Aristotle defined it, was not an empirical pursuit but rather the systematic study of absolute logically known tru—

#Monsterdon

Wait? When did we get to Atlantis? I thought we were on Thira. Or maybe Thebes? Where are we?!

#Monsterdon

I'm sorry is this a To Be Continued narration?

#monsterdon #hercules1983

I love how we're getting so much green here, like they're foreshadowing how Lou Ferrigno will be cast as The Hulk in a few years.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

lol, fell for the old trapdoor ruse, didn't he?

Wasn't Minos the Cretean king? Atlantis? Oh well....stop asking questions, just enjoy the magic

#Monsterdon

Daedalus is a teletubby?

#Monsterdon

I bet there's all kinds of stuff in here you can throw into space, herc

#monsterdon

(okay, i think i will take this opportunity to complain about these outfits tho.)

#hercules1983 #monsterdon

Hercules is suddenly on Skaro!

#monsterdon

@Terencio "Diddleus" 😂 that's awesome

#Monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc

#monsterdon #Hercules

she blinded me with science

#monsterdon

@trixter so impractical and yet necessary

#Monsterdon

The movie isn't over, Minos. Sending Daedalus to Risa for shore leave seems premature now. #Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Maybe I DON'T want to go back to chaos. #monsterdon #Hercules1983

The power of the Gods are all ZX Spectrum-based

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc
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You can go back to chaos, beyond time and space.

Thanks??

@Lazarou That helmet is also amazing.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Minos pondering the orb
#monsterdon

In Thira, which has multiple toy boats, Cass is having a bath so we can a bath scene in this movie.

Shout out to the Minoan-style mosaic on the wall of the bathroom.

#monsterdon

Xerxes was the best person in this movie so far. She did nothing crazy, wrong, or ill-intentioned.

#monsterdon

Three moons in the sky does at least sort of explain that 7th moon thing

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Hercules and Circe went through an awful lot on the night before Cassopeia's sacrifice.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1983

Did she fall in love before or after he gave them both whiplash?

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Nice trail-cam filter for the night shots lol

#Monsterdon

MINOS!

DAMN YOU MINOOOOOS!

#monsterdon

@amyfou Now he's got solving a green math problem face.

#monsterdon

Cercen't.

#monsterdon #hercules1983

Mean-As indeed

#monsterdon #TheIncredibleHerc