The pewpewpew glowing bouncy balls also a surprise

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

This is just silly. A snow globe attack. #Monsterdon

This is why this movie is known for the greatest final fight in cinema history

#Monsterdon

What do you want on your (glowy) tombstone?
#monsterdon

@diazona Cocaine #Monsterdon

I was expecting a poison dart, so the silly string was a surprise.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

oh no, the LED ping pong balls!

#monsterdon

I die as I wanted. Among my friends. And also you

#Monsterdon

The Witch is the most powerful character in the game but only uses her powers when see can be arsed

Voltan killed the Dwarf with one punch?!

#Monsterdon

So for all practical purposes we now have *three* characters with guns

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Silly string belongs in this silly movie

#Monsterdon

Silly string! :D :D

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Bingo!

#HawkTheSlayer1980
#Monsterdon

This movie is very bdsm-y

Nuns in cages, guys in black leather with whips, etc. etc.

#monsterdon

"Little men with pointed ears?"

WE'LL do the jokes here, Jack. #Monsterdon

Anti Elf hatred

#Monsterdon

I think Jack Palance is older than their father

#Monsterdon

This movie thinks people die really quickly from single stabs to the gut
#Monsterdon

ohhhhhh Drogo was adopted

(the "kidnapped" kind of adopted)

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Does it really matter that no woman would look upon your face when the only women around are nuns?

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

oh.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Your death will be slow and painful. Just like this script. #monsterdon

yeah, we're taking 'em outside, lady, stop complaining.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

I feel like whoever wrote this read the LOTR CliffsNotes. Just the CliffsNotes. Just the LOTR CliffsNotes.

#Monsterdon

Yes, Crow, we've also read Lord of the Rings

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Is this guy the last elf? They doing a Lord-of-the-Rings thing?
#monsterdon

Hawk
I have been
and always shall be
your friend

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon the elf's name is Crow? You think there'd be some corvid aesthetics going on

Traitor nun!

#Monsterdon

Why are the arrows making pew pew noises? 😆

#Monsterdon

pew pew sound effects in a sword fight

outstanding

#monsterdon

@yatsu Magenta! But no, not in this movie.
#MOnsterdon

@bunnyhero it was a very shakespearian-like framed delivery for the stage

#monsterdon

@LingLass "Oh by the way everyone, I can read minds....yeah..." #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Hawk will be sinus drained upon!

Oh *oh*. People are right about the elf being a robot. He has radar!

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

OK so Jack Palance's Star was standing with his lower lip all relaxed and then Jack pulled on his face and that was not nice

Robo vulcan? WTF are these lines?

#monsterdon

"How much can we get away with making our bad guy's helmet look like Darth Vader's?"
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

Watch your scenery Palance is doin' some chewin' #monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Okay, that's just bad encounter design. I know it's hard to make a challenging fight for high level characters, but you've got to at least try.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

#Monsterdon

"Which Abbess was it...?

"Abbess... Normal"

🤓 the peace of the dead

#monsterdon

#monsterdon I come for no man. Unless.. you know... you lie to my ass and you happen to be Pinocchio. Lie to me! LIE TO MY BUTTOCKS! ;)

The sounds of battle

Ting tang walla-walla bing bang

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

"RELEASE THE ABCESS!"

#Monsterdon

I recognize that actor, Peter Clive, from:

Captain Kronos Vampire Hunter,
Frankenstein and the Monster From Hell,
Straight on Till Morning

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

#Monsterdon

@Violinknitter @Bluedepth

As my feed went by, your 2 posts were next to each other, and I saw the following sentence:

"There is a lot of mystical whistling in garter-stitch knitting."

So true, so true.

Ask your doctor about crystal energy from the pit of the cursed

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon The agony of properly draining sinuses.

Tonight, we river dance!

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

If there was a local news service people wouldn't have to keep squeezing throats to find out about local events

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Periods of relief? In front of a woman, that's bold. She too has periods of relief.

@gblues addicted to Faberge Eggs, the same old story...

#Monsterdon

"There is no cure for this face."

WE KNOW WE'VE SEEN IT HEYOOOO

#Monsterdon

A nun in a cage is a highly specific fetish. #Monsterdon

Oooh predicament bondage. #Monsterdon

This is why they banned high capacity magazine enchantments in 1577. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

A lot of the class abilities these guys have seem to be based on editing tricks.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

The Hunchback caught some twinks!

#Monsterdon

was he just carrying that mace around? was he hiding it... somewhere???

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

what in the fuck are you saying

#monsterdon

@strangefour "I have a cunning plan"

#monsterdon

just somebody eat the fucking chicken....

#Monsterdon

Ow. Also, Voltan is a dark lord and lost an eye to... get revenge on a brother? (That he sort of already has)

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

they should've done distended jaw action but they were cowards

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

"Her head moves in the cloud. I'll try and make her understand...

"With my BALLS!"

#monsterdon

I wonder if this film came out when non-linear editing was hitting mainstream

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

"suffice to say my brother and I have issues.."

#Monsterdon

yeah, that wasn't going to last.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@MatthewTitus88

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

door opens

"Oh, thank GOD you're here!"

One for the Australians

#monsterdon

Get thee to a nunnery

#Monsterdon

I say this as someone who reads so many fantasy novels that my family once joked I only read books with wizards or knights on the cover: I fucking hate fantasy worlds with slavery.

#monsterdon

Almost half way through.... #monsterdon

#monsterdon The church of Cadbury... made of modeling chocolate. Drives kids bananas.

i missed what was special about the guy he just saved

#monsterdon

Building the Table of Five... except there are six of them, seven if you include the witch...

#monsterdon

Me when I crack open a can of sardines

#Monsterdon

She's not really that mystical she just lost her voice doing karaoke all night last night.
#monsterdon

Oh ee Oh ee Oh

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer #HawkTheSlayer1980

Ya hoser

#Monsterdon

So general tip: don't get into archery contests with elves.

I speak from experience, of course.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Hoes-a-me

Hoes-a-you!

#monsterdon

he did talk himself into that...

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe

Melvin is elfin?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

This elf's a robot

#Monsterdon

DO DE DO DE DO

#Monsterdon

I love how everyone is just...in a random forest. Like even the blacksmith is just in the middle of no where. Is he the most antisocial blacksmith ever?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

lol, that's a good point, "Elf or Vulcan?"

#Monsterdon

A three year old Orlando Bloom watched this and thought "...one day that will be me!"

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Classic elfing. Five stars. No notes.

#monsterdon

Only 37 mins in and I’m falling asleep already!

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

Crow. 13th Level Wood Elf Ranger

#Monsterdon

Hawk... Crow.. I'm sensing a theme.

#Monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer1980

My friend and I couldn't help but notice that you're made of smoked salmon

#Monsterdon

Did Voltan's helmet inspire the costuming for the Carrouge v. le Gris film a few years ago? #monsterdon

this is turning into the sisterhood of the broken wagon

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe Lady Gaspar needs the company

#Monsterdon

also, this witch is 100% OP. nevermind going on quests to assemble your party, now we just teleport you right to them.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980