Why are you carrying your sword like that? #Monsterdon

Omg is that why I know Ranulf? Of course it is.
#Monsterdon #HawktheSlayer

I didn't catch any of that. #monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
#HawkTheSlayer1980

You will need the crystal again. Oh, this dude will be smoking that crystal again, for sure..

I have no idea what’s going on, and we're only 10 minutes into the film.

#Monsterdon

I dig the Wizard's decorating skills. I should fix up my office to look like this!

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

I really like this matte painting convent. #Monsterdon

Oh my, Canton Delaware, very distinctive voice William Morgan Sheppard
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

No, the wizard lives in the tower at the edge of the woods in Cindersap Forest

#Monsterdon

@trixter But you still have to put the mold in the wound for it to work.

(I don't really know where I'm going with this, I think I killed the joke, sorry)

#Monsterdon

This movie writing checks its budget cannot cash #Monsterdon

Worst health insurance provider ever.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Hey Hood Person: SPEAK UP! #monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

The guy yelling for the wizard's help and the wizard should totally trade voices

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

we're only ten minutes in and this is already an amazing piece of cinema

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

"A strange melody afflicts the flesh"??? You mean that jazzy stuff from before?

Voltan is! The Phantom!

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

pretty sure I saw this scene in one of the star wars prequels #monsterdon

THat was NO warning...

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

that strange melody from the theme music?

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza Disambiguation with Voltan the Fair

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

]]]

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon they killed children, sister, and kicked puppies, and before they left they said "we're the bad guys by the way"

What could it mean?

acting intensifies

#Monsterdon

WIZARD!

I need that first frame

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

...what are the theological implications of Catholicism apparently existing in a world with wizards, elves, and magic swords?

#monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer1980

Neat glow-in-the-dark press-on nails

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

WIZARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#VOltron crossover?

#APD #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

SWOOOOORDAAAAARM #monsterdon

Voltan. The Dark One. As opposed to Voltan. The Plain One. Voltan. The Off-white One. #Monsterdon

This is boring. I wonder who they thought was going to go to, and like, this. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon so that's how you contact a wizard will try next time there's a storm

@SRLevine Look, God made that penicillin grow on that bread.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#monsterdon

>a strange melody affects the flesh

This is why you never add synth to a fantasy movie

HEAD ON. APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

#Monsterdon

"I could not save the hand, but the arm has healed."

"I must kill the wife of Richard Kimball..."

VOLTAN IS INNOCENT, YOU CRETIN

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Like he doesn't realize he's in a crappy film. #Monsterdon

Naughty Zoot. You must be punished. With a spanking! Yes, yes! a spanking!

#monsterdon

The nuns have sworn to never look men in the eye while listening to their stories

#Monsterdon

nice nails.
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

The mother superior is the female lead from 90s sitcom One Foot in the Grave

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annette_Crosbie

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

"What happened to his hand?"

"He lost his fingers. They're probably with the rest of his hand not attached to his body." #monsterdon

There's the passion you pay for when you hire this guy. #Monsterdon

I am the only... survivor... of my village.. people...

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
#HawkTheSlayer1980

Zoot, Piglet.. administer your arts.

"Sister Monica, what's your differencial diagnosis?"
"High fantasy LARP gone wrong."

-- This week on "The Pitt"

#Monsterdon

How did you know my name?

You were unconscious for a long time. It was sewn into your undershift. #monsterdon

Director, you are not Ingmar Bergman, stop trying to be Ingmar Bergman with this shot

#monsterdon

is this like a Lanthimos movie where everyone speaks in flat stilted dialogue to create a sense of unease?

#monsterdon

I wish he'd stop banging the point of the sword on the stone floor.

Why would you do that?

#Monsterdon

You're under the protection of Cadbury Creme

#Monsterdon

Wow, dark origin story for Blank Reg.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Pretty sure that sharp knife is going to be doing more of the heavy lifting than the "help of god" unless by the later they mean sterile technique and maybe some primitive antibiotics.

#Monsterdon

Sisterhood of the Holy Word is more boring than at least 80% of the names of real Catholic orders #Monsterdon

#monsterdon so many old guys leaning against a surface and dying after revealing vital information about the story

Which one is Zoot? Is this Castle Anthrax?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

If I'd known the audio would be so bad, I might have watched the tubi version for the subtitles instead of downloading.

These nuns seem really capable. They aren't always depicted so.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

"How did you know my name?" "It was sewn into your underwear."

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Get thee to a nunnery. For medical attention.
Wait that old actor. I know his voice...
#Monsterdon #HawktheSlayer

Sisters Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe I presume.

#Monsterdon

Man this version of House of the Dragon is weak! So glad they remade it.

#Monsterdon

man with no fingers? this is the balance to the man with six fingers on his right hand

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

We have identified the incorrect subtitles as being from The Shining. Right now they are discussing the tragedy of what happened with the previous caretaker. I won't bore you with the rest.

In the Hawk movie some dude is being tended to by some nuns. Monty Python has ruined this scene for me.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon you will save it not god

We are the felt sisters!

#Monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer1980

What did this man EAT?!

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Oh good, nuns. I'm not having Catholic school flashbacks now or anything.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

"Sister Phoebe - find your guitar, please"

She's got a rosary which could choke a horse. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Shuffle your feet to the music, Crossbowman...!

'Aiiiya! right through my damn foot.'

#monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer

Also... Vultan??

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
#HawkTheSlayer1980

This music will make you change sex and alignment.

This opening theme kinda slaps

not to be confused with it being at all appropriate for the setting of the movie

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Hark! Lo what is that in the distance?
Tis a matte painting my lord.
#Monsterdon #HawktheSlayer

@Mallow will be taking over my #Monsterdon posting duties tonight, thank goodness I have clever witty backup

#Monsterdon Theme From Hawk The Slayer (Disco Mix)

Buncha folks in this we've seen in other #Monsterdon titles

Bernard "Cyclops" Bresslaw
Patricia "Magenta" Quinn
Morgan "I know him when I see him" Sheppard

#HawkTheSlayer

Patricia Quinn
Patrick McNee

Promising ..
#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

& there he is now. Blank Reg, falling down drunk, as usual. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

The cocaine budget must've been epic.

wait did they just want to make an Emerson Lake & Palmer feature film?

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

@Taweret byeeeeeeewwwww #monsterdon

*think* of the lightsaber in your hand -- and it shall be so! (yes I'm making the same joke again) #monsterdon

Casio keyboard sound track. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon
There's a typo in the subtitles that has Ranulf reminiscing not about how the villain laughed, but how he loved.

Voltan?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

I hear this was shot by one of Kubrick's DPs (for Barry Lyndon).

I am so prepared for another beautiful-looking ridiculous films.

#monsterdon

This music, ya'll 🤘

#Monsterdon

The only reason this music isn't impressing me is that I was listening to better stuff on the prestream #Monsterdon

@diazona YEP that's it, time to go home

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Set your moog to "flute" and play along!

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

The cream of British cinema (and that big bloke from the Carry On films)

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

JFC. The music isn't helping at all. #monsterdon

@klu9 Oh, man. The double-fisted punch is so classic.

#Monsterdon

With pan flute music provided by Zamfir
#Monsterdon #HawktheSlayer

That handle is full of D sized batteries. #monsterdon