Ironic! This time the one-armed man is on the side of "good" #Monsterdon

Ranulf, one of the lesser lfs

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

Fuck yeah a lizard

#Monsterdon

@That_Damn_Frank I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.

#monsterdon

HAWK needs no payment? WTF is he a COMMUNIST or something? #Monsterdon

Right now, in our alternative subtitle timeline, Danny is learning that he has a "shine", and being told that he probably thought he was the only one...

#Monsterdon

It wasn't him, it was the one-handed man! #Monsterdon #HawktheSlayer1980

search for the sound of one hand fapping

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

The interesting thing this movie could do is to have this woman be the Loathely Lady, and Hawk has to marry her & consumate before she turns into a beautiful woman

#Monsterdon

A man who wears the masque of death?! #Monsterdon

@brews
I especially love how they characterize the music.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@moira I'm gonna assume he used the Force

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

"Many times Ive heard it spoken…"

I mean yeah, lady, it's a common bird of prey.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

how come this guy is wearing a david byrne sized seatbelt #monsterdon

"Hmmmmm.... how can we make "playtime's over" sound serious and medieval..."

"Bingo."

#monsterdon

Yeah, and he'll slice the hell outta your bread! #monsterdon

Whoops, the hero seems to have saved a witch. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Whispering is eldritch enough, right?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Can I get a rear projection effect in here, please. #Monsterdon

Many times I have heard "hawk" spoken. They're common in these parts

#monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer

@LingLass He was emoting the same way as his father died right in front of him.

#monsterdon

I feel like the composer got a new synthesizer right before writing the score, and he is just putting EVERY sound effect in there.

So many random sounds.

#Monsterdon

Hey, witch lady, can you conjure up some subtitles for us, please?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

why are they suddenly on a candlelit date?

#Monsterdon

< The staring contest ends as one lowers his eyes and sees the bulge in Hawk's pants >

#Monsterdon hawk seems to have no personality

"The time of playing games is OVER"

aw but we were in the middle of Risk

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

"'Or else what, my friend?' Or else I improvise some jazz at your ear-holes, fat cat. Your call, and daddio? You snooze, you lose!"

#Monsterdon

did she have an orgasm when he swung that glowy fist sword??

#monsterdon

I was kinda hoping this would be like Ladyhawke, but this is really bad.

#Monsterdon

Is it bad I just keep looking at his hair?
#monsterdon  

Can't believe he's taking that witch down before she's fully smoke roasted. #Monsterdon

When HAWK gazes upon you with stoned eyes he means BUSINESS #Monsterdon

Or else my psychopathically blank expression will bore you to death #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Medieval staring contests are the best.

[OO-EE-OO-EE]
[tense music]
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Hawk has access to the ultra-rare swordpig?

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

He used the pointing finger, that means you have to surrender. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon 👀: The Movie

Lol I can respect how smart the guy on the horse was. My character doesn't even have a name, I'm out.

#monsterdon

That henchman is remarkably savvy about going up against a guy with an enchanted greatsword. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Eyeball gaze standoff!

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

They’re having a staring contest. How cute.

#Monsterdon

magic swords get a +1

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Pretty groovy score though.

#Monsterdon

Sorry, movie director. Your actors have to be capable of face acting for close ups on eyes to be remotely interesting

#Monsterdon

This is trying to be a John Wayne western and it's not quite sticking the landing but I'm still charmed

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

look, regardless of where you come down on the treatment of witches: ·you're going to burn the goddamned forest down·…

#monsterdon

gee I wonder if the witch will be hot.
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

#Monsterdon just aura farming now with this stare

His Schwartz is bigger than yours

#mOnsterdon

Hawk stares like a temu Python.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

[oo-ee-oo-ee-oo]
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

@cobalt123 Matte paintings.

#Monsterdon

or else MUSIC STING

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

Did Christopher Nolan direct this? #monsterdon

Wow, Mind Sword! Soo cool and only $19.99 at Toys-R-Us now!
#monsterdon  

This "witch" looks to be heavier than a duck.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Saving the village from a fearsome forest fire. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

OK that was a straight-up Jedi move right there

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

You see this walking in the woods in the UK any ol' day. #monsterdon

I'll run more like an emu. #monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Go in peace or stay in pieces!

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Had to step out for a bit. The armless guy is gathering the seven swordsmen, right?

#Monsterdon

What's a sword pig?
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

He is called Hawk.

#Monsterdon

[ALARMED NEIGHING]

#Monsterdon

Wait a minute; what came before CGI?
#Monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer

yeah okay william tell this guy is not

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#Monsterdon

"There is One who could help us. He helped us in times past."

"His name...?"

"He is called... Hawk...!"

#monsterdon I hate when I'm riding through a forest and come across a haunted house skit

Hawk has a groovy theme for himself with his fist sword.
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer1980

"...she was caught practicing her foul arts"
"Well, maybe she ate something that disagreed with her."
"What?"

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

He is called Hawk! [Hawk Theme]

I spit out my cheesie

#Monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer1980

What I see is some dude who's incredibly bad at setting a fire

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@jadebees Yeah I too was thinking that did not seem like a snake native to European fantasy settings.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
#HawkTheSlayer1980

She's a witch!
Let's build a bridge out of her!

"... she's a witch!" (she turned me into a newt)

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Whoa whoa. Soundtrack. No one told you to be good. You are being overly ambitious and competent. We are not used to both at the same time.
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

you need to see if the witch FLOATS first

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

My GF just came in the room and thought I was watching 70's porn #monsterdon

Got a Fantasy Porn vibe going now... #monsterdon

I feel like this Casio keyboard chiptune is not befitting of a Noble Warrior such as HAWK #Monsterdon

Sword, now with lime flavor.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

#Monsterdon if hawk is godly he should support buri g witches

Let’s just stop the movie and let Mannheim Steamroller do the rest of the soundtrack.

#Monsterdon

Was that a python in the tree?

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#monsterdon is this supposed to be earth? The nuns and monks aren't saying anything about Jesus, but there are crosses on the wall. But like, slightly unusual. Does that count as fantasy

I'm kinda sorry for this knight. He lost his hand, stabbed and he has to get help?
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer1980

Snake of the winter forest. #Monsterdon

I need this soundtrack.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Immediately tune in to the warden of Rura Penthe going on a quest. #monsterdon

@strangefour Zamfir the Slayer.

#monsterdon

Establishing this as a Game Master knows nothing of ecology setting.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

yeah, this is movie has it all. this is kino

#monsterdon

Okay, Capitalism, time for a new idea:

You can extract labor from me if I gave you a challenge coin. One complex task per.

#Monsterdon

I unironically love this score so far
#monsterdon