My backside isn't greasy. Infected maybe, but never greasy.
#monsterdon

Voltan, OG Capitalist.

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

I've only been listening to the first 25 minutes of this movie without watching it. Sounds like a real cheeseboard so far but the soundtrack is excellent

#Monsterdon

that ·cannot· be good for the sword…
#monsterdon

I honestly heard better line delivery from dubbed #KungFuSat movies.

#Monsterdon

Oh, there was no bread there. #monsterdon

Jack Palance needs to start chewing the scenery a bit.
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

#monsterdon this middle aged guy is a regular Barcus Wroot

Crazy that Hawk dude does this then ends up in a Kubrick movie 7 years later. (Full Metal Jacket)

#Monsterdon

word gets around quickly I see

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

You can't just have the innkeeper tell you rumors without paying him a few hundred gold!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Let me stand real symmetrical to this guy and ignore the campfire I'm walking into

"I pretty much just think about killing a dude and then he's dead" is a solid power, I guess

#Monsterdon

I have a bad feeling we aren't going to get an actual hawk
#monsterdon  

I am called Hawk!

Hawk? What are you, twelve?

#Monsterdon

"Watch your mouth, dork?"
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

I couldn't place the one armed crossbowman and had to look him up. He was Blank Reg in Max Headroom.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Peter, ALWAYS clean your sword!! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

The Good. The Bad. And The Fisty...!

I can’t help but think that his swordhandle’s fist has another purpose.

#Monsterdon

[mystical noise]

Again
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

He used Force telekinesis to fetch his heavy saber. #Monsterdon

I kind of love the anachronistic music score. Synth in fantasy works for me.
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

I love how when they show Hawk, they play the little Western quickdraw whistle

#Monsterdon

Use The Force, Hawk.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

How did they tie his arms to that tree? By his wrists? Did we forget something? #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

#Monsterdon why start every fight with a minute long staring contest makes no sense artistically or realistically

KILLED! BY THE WOBBLESWORD!

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

Oh, fuck it! Stop it with the starring contests already!

#Monsterdon

The bad, the slow and the bad. #Monsterdon

OMG the oo ee oo came back! #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

RE: https://mypocketpals.online/notes/apg0ecr51b

You can see how The Unforgiven was influenced by this. #monsterdon

Music from Studio 1564

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Why do we have the weird Picard-esque flute trill instead of...you know...a hawk screech? #Monsterdon #HawktheSlayer1980

The extensive use of digital synths in the soundtrack of the #Monsterdon was well ahead of its time but in a very bad way

"Hawk? Like the bad guy in The Stand?"
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

I like to imagine behind Hawk just off screen there is a flautist that follows him to play that DoDoDoDoDo! at every opportune moment. He is paid well

#Monsterdon

Who needs armor when you can instead have a leather jacket, or a shirt with a bunch of pointless buttons sewn on?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Guys, you know he has a Mind Sword‽
#monsterdon  

Hahahaha!!!! OMG, the Miru stream captioned that little bit of music as “OOEEOOEEOO”!!!

#Monsterdon

Did anyone want to ... express ... an emotion? Any emotion? #Monsterdon

@amyfou Yes. But kind of random animal shots. #Monsterdon

Hawk has the charisma of a loaf of wonder bread.

#Monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer1980

My guy, the subtitles are calling you [Man in Brown], you need to re-evaluate your importance to the film.

#monsterdon

"The contest gets better! Because now we fight WITH JAZZ."

#monsterdon

Is this a Looking at each other Movie? #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

We have OO-EE-OO-EE-OO, but no WAH-WAAAH-WAH?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

It's hard to take Hawk seriously with this soundtrack
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer1980

I’m sensing a theme

[OO-EE-OO-EE]

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

OMG this synth is KILLING me

#MOnsterdon

Why do half the scenes feel like they were filmed as the set up for a Monty Python's Holy Grail segment? I guess foggy old England was just like that in the late 70s
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

[OO-EE-OO-EE-OO-EE-OO]

#Monsterdon

I wonder what the hero is doing right now.

Wait no I don't, the movie keeps cutting back to him for no reason.

#Monsterdon

Now that horse riding scene in the river reminds me of a bad acid trip. Oh wait, that's the entire movie so far #monsterdon

His sword has a hand on it. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
#HawkTheSlayer1980

That'll teach you to axe me for directions..

this is a Ren Faire production that got out of hand.

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

His horse is named KITT!
#monsterdon #hawktheslayer

"OO-EE-OO-EE-OO!" #monsterdon

You gotta punch the unarmored bits, or put a gauntlet on. How did that not hurt your hand? #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

"[MUSIC TEMPO INCREASING]"

I think it got slower

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

This music 😂

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

MORE STANDING STILL! WE NEED MORE STANDING STILL!
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

So is Hawk gonna storm into the bandit camp and Fus Ro Dah the bandits around or something because that's what you do with bandit camps, right? whoops wait wrong universe

#monsterdon

"A contest! Mellotrons at 20 feet!"

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

instrumental Boney M castoffs #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

so we have Blaze, Star, and Blackie so far and Star has just been caught by his wrangler back behind some of the painted backdrops having done his stunt work; so far Blaze appears to be enjoying his job of galloping about and being adorable

#Monsterdon

"Where do I find this one handed man?"

"Chicago General. But beware the Marshal's Service... and this Agent Gerard..."

Just roll the credits already and play the music.

#Monsterdon

Bionic horse running in slow motion?

#HawkTheSlayer1980
#Monsterdon

Are they all going to stare at each other again?
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

horse boogie

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

He'd get there faster if he wasn't in slo mo. #monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Note to self: do NOT ask for directions

#Monsterdon

Subs just identified one guy as "Man in Brown." THat's really helpful.

#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

#monsterdon

This movie is quite horse-montage filled

Did he just get slapped off his horse?

#Monsterdon

About now that horse is about to throuw Hawk off if he keeps playing that damn themesong.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

#Monsterdon this forest is densely populated

Oh not in my stab wound! #Monsterdon

I never knew Jolly Olde Englande had so many exotic reptiles!

#Monsterdon

This poor guy cannot catch a break

#Monsterdon

no, really, I love this music. go wander around the Welsh bog but MORE MUSIC.

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

The music is interesting, what is that, disco folk? #Monsterdon

Swords and Sorcery are just enhanced by 80s synth. What a blessing to live in a time when that is known!

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

the music is doing a lot of heavy lifting. i dig it

#monsterdon

#monsterdon If my village were being pillaged I'd simply shimmy up the long pole-like chicken legs of my BabaYaga split level and chicken-walk it to a new village, it would be eas-

Wait is this guy another Busey?

Heh, okay, lizards are from The Magical Past. Sure.

#Monsterdon

Lanthimos has to have seen this movie tho right? Is this where he got the have everyone speak in a flat stilted monotone bit?

#monsterdon

We got snakes! We got Lizards!
What about hawks?
Ummmmmmmm
#monsterdon  

#monsterdon "many time I've heard [your name] spoken. You fight for good."

Does he??? I thought he only wanted vengeance and the kingdom that he could have just stayed in I think

Oh man he makes these horse tricks look so easy. Damn, Tony. #Monsterdon

Yes, yes, look for the not-six-finger man

#Monsterdon

@north As is tradition.

#Monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer1980

@UsagiTsukino For he is HAWK and has no need for silly distractions like a personality. #monsterdon

I blame the director. When no one is delivering their lines well, it’s got to be the director’s fault.

#Monsterdon

Wee dragon.

#Monsterdon

You will need me again…as a shortcut to advance the plot

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

cute zard