now, this is a woman screaming, not a Hawk.

subtitles are important!

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

Baldin? is.... is he bald?

#Monsterdon

​:mikuscared:​
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Quite the repeating crossbow.
#monsterdon #hawktheslayer

GORT?

#Monsterdon

Mind Sword, what can't it do!!
#monsterdon  

@amyfou ok what is this horsie #monsterdon flic?

And so begins the quest for the Magnificent Seven. Errr I mean the Fellowship of the Nunnery.
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

I like the rotoscoped glow on the horses' eyes.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

"the mind sword" omg I can't

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Get to Spirit Halloween and bring me ALL of the prop cobwebs! NOW!
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

"You receive The Mind Sword, which is a Long Sword +2. Write that down."

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

AK-47 CrossBow - yikes!!!! #monsterdon

The Forest of Wier? Dam!

#HawkTheSlayer1980
#Monsterdon

subtitles: [DRAMATICALLY INTENSE MUSIC]
soundtrack: happy little folk tune
#monsterdon

More of this music, please. Forget the story. Just play the music.

#Monsterdon

Hawk and the Quest for the Spirit Halloween...

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

This is just 100% someone's D&D campaign with a DM-protagonist, isn't it

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Another horse montage!!!

#Monsterdon

The shortest route is through the Woodland of Casio

#Monsterdon

i thought he was his own darkest knight

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

riding montage!

#Monsterdon

the director and DP are doing everything in their power to tone down Palance's hamming... and it's only partially effective 😄

#monsterdon

Bro is in all black, hero in white. Try not to hit us over the head, movie...

Lots of simultaneous overacting AND underacting. Wow. Bad.

#Monsterdon

Wow. This got very Doctor WHO all of a sudden.

#Monsterdon

You showed that tree who's boss

#monsterdon

Oh sweet, it has two player horse trick mode. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

nope, maybe he just stands like that naturally? (background horse, peeing)

#Monsterdon wack video game soundtrack

Hey little brother, remember when you were 2 and I was 50!?

#Monsterdon

dang that's a lot of fibreglass for a medieval setting

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#monsterdon I genuinely admire Jack Palance's ability to ham it up this much, hissing and screaming without any shame, bravo

The Repeating Crossbow! A marvelous invention.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Was Hawk's actor cast because he knew how to use a sword and ride a horse? Is that it?
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Yeah, rapid fire crossbow, sure.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Voltan is afraid of your Hippy Jesus ways!

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

The forest of weird? My good sir, call it by it's proper name:

Fedi.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

TFW your brother turns incel #Monsterdon

Just face it my love, your brother is being a real dick

#Monsterdon

Damn Voltan killing the mood of skipping out on wedding festivities to either make out or bone

#Monsterdon

Did she just convert him to Christianity? #Monsterdon

I mean he's wearing black, you really should have seen this coming

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@bunnyhero with his own brother? My god!

#Monsterdon

"He's just going to live... in the bushes?"

"It's his way."

#Monsterdon

THe forest of where?
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

Why are you gently petting his face while turning him down? Mixed signals lady!

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

Now Hawk doesn't need to have that lovely gray horsie because he has Blaze, and Blaze is perfect and complete. But the Gray would be nice for someone else I guess?

No wonder he is after Hawks sword. #monsterdon

Wear this cross- it will protect you, even though we seem afraid to talk about Catholicism.
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

Get friendzoned nerd

#Monsterdon

Voltan has control issues. #Monsterdon

Yeah, we all think ol' Volton might have gotten a touch of sun after he started wearing that teapot on his head...

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Flashback time! Back when Voltron still had both eyes.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

brothers??

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon

"The Hunchback will have something to say about this...!"

"Blücher...!"

< Whinnie >

Unusual occurrence? Well, a dark madman killed two of my customers and threatened me with a sword just the other... now. That happened now. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Hawk on a freshly laundered horse

#monsterdon

"crossed swords" lol

#MOnsterdon

Worst kiss since Al and Tipper.

#Monsterdon

oh I guess we needed a romance plot sure here ya go

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

Hawk's love interest: "I CHOOSE A MORTAL LIFE" no whoops wait wrong and MUCH BETTER movie

#Monsterdon

We now bring you to a Calgon commercial, currently in progress.

#Monsterdon

Why do innkeepers in fantasy movies always get such a bad rap? I think it is a union issue #monsterdon

Director: anytime is a good time for a riding montage

#Monsterdon

At first I was like "she isn't riding side saddle" but then I saw she was complaint retracted

#Monsterdon

Medieval fridging backstory #Monsterdon

I suppose if any strangers come through he can just give Voltan a call on his... wait, how's this supposed to work again? #monsterdon

Every relationship goes faster in a montage. #Monsterdon #HawktheSlayer1980

Ah, love theme from "Hawk, the Slayer". #monsterdon

#Monsterdon hate this backstory filter

Ah, white horse for romance, black with white blaze for action.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

oh christ here we go, flashback and softfocus, it's renfaire sexy times

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

What the hell? Smoochies?!?

Oh flashback.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Repeating Crossbow!

#HawkTheSlayer1980
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
#HawkTheSlayer1980

Wesley? Buttercup?

Ummm... Hawk, I think you've brought up the wrong flashback. Wrong sword maybe?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

I can't wait till we meet the Da Gwon

#monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer

Is this the story of how Voltan got ugly #Monsterdon

Crossed swords?

Wut?

#Monsterdon

@moira

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Kinnear

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
#HawkTheSlayer1980

The dry ice budget was insane.

Ol' Jack must have been picking all the scenery in this movie out of his teeth for WEEKS after filming was complete. JUST SAYIN'

#Monsterdon

Sword on wood post makes a metallic clang.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Prologue is like, "Oh, are we using purple screen? No that's just the color of this... uh... foggy square cauldron? M'kay." 🤷‍♂️

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Why are all the side actors better than Hawk’s actor? #Monsterdon

y'know they should cut the hand off some other guy and send him out to search as a distraction

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

this weird outdoorbarkeep has been in _so many things_ but I'm not picking up on _any_ of them.

WHO IS THIS GUY?

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Meanwhile, in Hawk's lofi version of Willow...

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

@SnoopJ OH! Cheeseboard. Good shout. BRB...

#Monsterdon

Voltan owns the table, the chairs. So if Voltan says you're home and in bed by nine bells, you are in bed, calling Voltan to read you a story!

#Monsterdon

Swords be swording.

#Monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer1980

Benny Hill wannabe?

#HawkTheSlayer1980
#Monsterdon

Is Hawk wearing a wig?
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

My favorite 80s Sword and Sorcery trope is how nearly everyone in the entire world is a real piece of crap. Just terrible people everywhere. #Monsterdon

I say this from a lot of experience in RPGs of both the digital and analog variety, it's traditional to ask an innkeeper about rumors inside the inn.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon rooting for these slavers

Jack is having so much fun here #Monsterdon

Oh Jack. No one delivers lines like you. #Monsterdon

My backside isn't greasy. Infected maybe, but never greasy.
#monsterdon