Vultan!
LORD OF THE DANCE!
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Wait, this is about dancing lords? #Monsterdon

Lord of the Dance? Like the Catholic Song?

#Monsterdon

...The lord of the DANCE??? #Monsterdon

Wow, he must have had a *lot* of celery for lunch before Voltan's son stabbed him.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

He Speaks Sanctuary.

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

I'm sure this is very intimidating but he is NOT choking you he has whip against your throat but it's not even wrapped around or anything. That's not by definition choking that's just intimidation

#Monsterdon

"Get to the point"

I agree, this movie is far too wordy in a bad way.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

For your own safety don't look at the time remaining on this lovely film. #monsterdon

So, they could have just rode faster through the dark evil forest?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Okay, but he just got wacked in the face and burned. The issue with his face is a normal injury, not some mystical thing. Unless the movie is confused about it (given a much earlier scene)

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@diazona at this point they'd gone off script, surely? #monsterdon

"You can't just say 'words of importance' "
"Words of great importance"

#monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer

You can't just get your neck off the whip handle? How the hell is he choking you?

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

'choaking" right...... #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#Monsterdon not the way to get information from someone eager to divulge ut

Voltan has a son? I think we saw the wrong part of the backstory

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Incurable half deformed face? It's even got phantom of the opera vibes!

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

fun fact! the costume designers here went on to work on Dune (1984)

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

"... the hands of Drogo, son of Voltan"

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

...FRODO son of Voltan? #Monsterdon

Drogo, son of Voltan. #Monsterdon

@trixter their blood will run red with blood

#Monsterdon

There is no cure for this face. I must go into radio

#Monsterdon

@jadebees hopefully both

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

movies out here tryna make us believe they just threw everybody in a bird cage when they acted up

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

"There is no cure for this face" is my new signature line for my emails

Some real "number one guy" energy there.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

oh right he's got a chronic case of Weird Face

I forgot about that

#Monsterdon

The art of curing, not healing. She's going to dry-brine the guy's head

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
#HawkTheSlayer1980

There is no cure for this face!
And... scene..

"There is no cure for this face" truer words never spoken

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#Monsterdon

We'll talk this no more; my face pains me!

Everyone else in the room too...

Jack Palance with the 19 on the Intimidation roll

#Monsterdon

Wow that was a LOOONG way to go for the keeping their mouths shut joke.

#monsterdon

Does Voltron have the reverse hiccups?

#Monsterdon

They have the Abbess in a cage? Oookay then

#Monsterdon

"I know Curaga'

#Monsterdon

@trixter They were slavers. It's fine. Check the alignment grid. Not like they even had a nosy paladin.
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

He's got helmet rot

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#monsterdon how much does this guy look like Arthur Darvill!!

Treat your own son that way and you have no hope of a lasting dynasty #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

#monsterdon

"Holy food has a taste not to people's liking"

What... what did they do??? What the actual fuck did they do to the food???? Why the fuck is it holy????

@srol "Villain monologue" is on my bingo card

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

"My face pains me"
your face pains me too! HO HO HO HO

#Monsterdon

You...
are my number one...
mmmguy.
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Can we do that no-talking trick with certain unpopular powerful people who spend too much time posting on the internet?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Dude, your face pains us all…

honestly your face pains me too

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

Jack really tossed him there

1980 British Steve Zahn needs excitement.

#Monsterdon

It’s never good when the movie villain starts stroking the minion’s head

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I wish the full-auto cross-bow had some kind of clever clockwork mechanism in it.

Just using a camera effect to reload it is disappointing.

At least I never have to wonder what the monster is up to

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

are they gonna kiss? oh.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

He’s a good dad, though.

#Monsterdon

Now kiss! #monsterdon

If you're gonna kill him, just kill him. Don't go all Bond villain about it.

#monsterdon

@moira@mastodon.murkworks.net His arms were fastened to the ground somehow, I think?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Mordred here got all the emotional line delivery in the family. #Monsterdon

I'm pretty sure everyone's blood is forever on the move, that's how blood works.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

admittedly he was a slaver but I still gotta say that's a fucked up way to kill him even if I'm not sorry to see the slave merchant go

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

now they're in a yurt?

THE FAT LORDS

THE LORDS OF LARD

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

So you're just gonna leave your cool giant mace behind? That might come in handy later giant.
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

I prefer warm fear. with a hint of honey.

#Monsterdon

Seriously, Jack- put a little mustard on your performance. Stop sleepwalking through it!

#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

#Monsterdon at that point just kill him no need for the theatrics

aw man, zinger.
#monsterdon

you dont see justice like that in moves these days

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Ohhhhhhhhh

#Monsterdon

This elf makes Legolas look as a lazy hairy boy.
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer1980

Even the heroes are torturors.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

pissing around with the zoom as a dissolve transition? this is now classified as a 70s film

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

"Lucky Chenworth...! They always tie him up in the middle..."

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

now this is very silly

"this club of yours... you've given me an idea" [hard cut to disco ball and deep funky groove]

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

"and you wouldn't like me when I have an IDEA"

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

I wonder if his club has a cover charge

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Why does he need slowpoke archer when he's got machine-bow archer?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

It's no jest!

Beau Geste?

#Monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer1980

uh yeah arrows definitely don't spontaneously drift sideways

It's that kind of movie

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@CactuarJoe HAWK0

#Monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie #monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

"Will no one rid me of this madman?"

Followed by thirty seconds of continuous bow and crossbow fire.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

no jest and no actin, as well.
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer1980 slayer1980

Give the fat man a tiny little mint

#monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer

"What about fat man here?"

"Send 'em to jake."

#Monsterdon

@Taweret try not to fire the cross bow while you are speaking.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#monsterdon

RIP i have nothing witty to say anymore because now I'm terribly behind in the movie

I think they were a bit excessive with the arrow shooting, there.

#Monsterdon

Oh I guess they got to have loin clothes. I forgot the 1980s was scared of nudity. #Monsterdon

I guess we couldn't afford a fight scene
#monsterdon  

The crossbow works by replaying the footage

#Monsterdon

"Play square with me and I'll play square with you."

I think the slaves you're selling might disagree.

#monsterdon

pew pew pew pew pew

the mechanical version

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

loving that repeating arrow special effect which doesn't quite work

#Monsterdon

THAT IS NOT HOW CROSSBOWS WORK! Someone read the equipment section of the manual all wrong.
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

The speed cuts on the archery were certainly a choice.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

I'm sorry but at some point those arrow shooting SFX became comical.

#Monsterdon