I will give you a message, a message of death!

You dumbdumbhead!

#Monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer1980

I keep waiting for Palance to go, "Jack...you're my number one....GUY."

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Why do you even bother with the swords? Just let the elf shoot everyone.

#Monsterdon

Y’all thought Legolas was overpowered #Monsterdon

There’s a scabbard on the bench. First one I’ve noticed in an hour. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Hawk always got C-minuses in his tactical positioning tutor class. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

The message of DEATH!

lol.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

oh no. not the message of death. don't. please.

This is where "Don't Kill the messenger" came from. #LowQualityFacts

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

shit's got more cuts than a bruckheimer movie

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon not an archer a machine gunner

deathagram for Hawk!

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

See, this Draco guy's well cast, he's got "underqualified officious prick" voice, he's perfect.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Did the elf's ears get less pointy?
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

Little known trivia: Toshiro Mifune said he was inspired by "Hawk" when he did Yojimbo. #monsterdon

What do you think, fantasy medieval Spock?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

new dream job: the guy who follows someone making a dramatic entrance by throwing a pair of doors open, stepping it to ensure the doors don't rebound and hit them in the face

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

"The message.... of death!"

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Please, no more comedy.
#monsterdon

A very important role in any defensive plan is the guy who stands out in the open exposing himself to the attackers

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

I know some people say being evil ages you but all the villains in this film look 20 years older than what the script is calling for #Monsterdon

@srol@mellified.men MOnsterdon needs more #fanfiction.... or does it...#LazerBlast #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

This Abbey room was repurposed into a generic Midwestern Italian eatery after the movie was finished with it

Someone came in and painted a few murals on the wall, and then it was all breadsticks & lasagna

#Monsterdon

(and the innkeeper with actual acting skill was Veruca Salt's dad in Willy Wonka, in case you were still wondering)

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Sugared nuts is dying for an entendre and they just left it there. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Double the obnoxious food jokes that overstay their welcome and fail to land, double the fun

(Twice nothing is still nothing)

#Monsterdon

I was gonna say "cell is a fucked up way to treat the nuns" then I remember that's how nuns and monks historically lived. I believe the term Cell in the body comes from it but I could be wrong?

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe Spockolas

#Monsterdon

had to go for awhile, and i come back and it's basically kill bill in a church #monsterdon

So at least one of the party members is about to die, right? #Monsterdon

@Violinknitter Hawk The Bland maybe #Monsterdon

Aggressive surf guitar #Monsterdon

I think I'd appreciate this B story of the dwarf and giant arguing about food more if I thought they might get together by the end

#Monsterdon

I feel comfortable assume the giant is dumb if he can't tell the difference between nuts and eyeballs

...unless this actually *has* turned into a porno

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

“Sugared nuts” doesn't sound much better than "lizards' eyeballs.”

#Monsterdon

@socketwench HOW DARE

etc

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

oh i'll take a sugared lizard eyeball ​:neocat_nom_cookie:​ #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Machine Gun Elfy there asleep at the switch. #Monsterdon

Turcles, not turtles. Oh, they were talking about lizard's eyeballs #monsterdon

#Monsterdon elf archer lives looking at the ground

This food comedy.

Please make it stop.

#Monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer1980

#Monsterdon

"We stay until the Abbess is safe...!"

"But this will anger Voltron."

It's Michael Flatley. he's the Lord of the Dance. #monsterdon

dramatic forest movement

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Im at the part where medieval Darth Vader is talking with the whip wielding gay dungeon lord

I’m deeply disappointed by this movie’s lack of additions to the names. I want Voltan the Black or Voltan One Eye. And Hawk could be Hawk the Plain

Wouldn’t be worse than Louis the Bald or Louis the Lame #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

omg quit it with the disgusting food/eating

Should we stay or should we go?

#Monsterdon

they are FUIT GUMMY

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

Naturally the soldiers supported the corporate interests of big mead barrel transport, and not the poor working cart wheel repairman tryna make an honest living.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
#HawkTheSlayer1980

This movie was shot in three locations.
Most of it in the Forest of Dry Ice.

Bingo!

Thanks @LuciaG

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

His recon was basically opening a door and peeking into the next room.

Lazy bastard.

#Monsterdon

I like how "Short Men" are a magical race of people, as are Tall Men....

#Monsterdon

If Michael Flatley shows up I'm gonna lose it. #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe If I hawk there will be trouble

#Monsterdon

You can't trust Voltan's word, he is made of 5 lyin's after all.
#monsterdon

@athena_rising wait which one? If we changed movies I might be more interested 😂

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

But the Dark One gave his word!#Monsterdon

"Our lady is saved"

Narrator: ...

#Monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer1980

"But he gave his word, we must trust him" about someone called the "Dark One"?!!?!?! Lady I know you're a a nun, but even nuns aren't that unworldly, right?

#Monsterdon

Hey raspy hood guy...

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Baldin!
Bordin!
Bifur!
Bofur
Bombur!

#Monsterdon

I stand by this. He sounds like Al Gore reading lines.

https://don.monster/@ramsey/117029066903292444

#Monsterdon

Is she a Goa'uld? When did we change movies? #Monsterdon #HawktheSlayer1980

Drogo, you look too much like Rainn Wilson to say things like that.

#monsterdon

Is he eating an eyeball cookie?

#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

#monsterdon The Abbess, has an Abcess.

[WIZARD VOICE]

#monsterdon

The elf will not enter the monastery.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

"The man, yes! The girl, no!"

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Should I stay or should I Dro-go... #Monsterdon

Yes, it's a miracle, through the usual means, killing a bunch of dudes. #Monsterdon

I look forward to the disappointing reveal of this man's Weird Face

#Monsterdon

Two more sessions and the tattoo will be completely faded.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

The average AD&D session has better pacing.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

"Now, these eyedrops may sting a bit..."

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

so red 🟥
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

[WIZARD VOICE]
#monsterdon

Is there a story?

#Monsterdon

So this is Jack's son, from a first marriage? Also the same age as his uncle?
#monsterdon  

Richly rewarded indeed #Monsterdon

Uh, I think we all know that the Lord of the Dance is and has always been Micheal Flatley

#Monsterdon

In Voltran's family is killing someone the only way to come of age?

#Monsterdon

Comes of age? Drogo. Dude. You are 30.
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Back to Cindersap Forest!!!

#Monsterdon

That would be Michael Flatley.

#Monsterdon

Lard of the dance? Darts?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Who indeed is Lord of the Dance to these funky tunes

#Monsterdon

Dozed off. They still collecting fellows to ship?

#Monsterdon

God that guy's face is tiny. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
#HawkTheSlayer1980

Lord. of. the. dance.

Drogo is at least smart enough to kill the guy he monologued to #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Lord of the dance? They going to do some Riverdance? They don't quite have the right music for that.
#monsterdon

whoah wait where did we get into The Lord of The Dance??

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

lord of the dance? of the DANCE? what kind of dance hall shenanigans are we heading into anyway?

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Lord of the Dance ... ?

#Monsterdon

Lord of the Dance?

what?!

#Monsterdon

@klu9 Got it in one. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Vultan!
LORD OF THE DANCE!
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer