Oh man, he's already riding away, it's a shame they don't have a REALLY FAST ARCHER

OR TWO

#Monsterdon

this dwarf guy really hears everything.
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer1980

Little known fact: Jack Palance was almost 98% smoked ham.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

@Violinknitter It is kind of sloppy #Monsterdon

“I hope you feel ashamed of yourself” -Nun 2

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe

It's the only thing that lasts! Tara!

#HawkTheSlayer1980
#Monsterdon

To be fair, this is all about Hawk. The nun isn't wrong. #Monsterdon

"Men, screwing everything up once again!"

#Monsterdon

Hot nun gives no fucks.

#Monsterdon

Then Crow adds, "his horse just took a shit."

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

Jack's Star did an unauthorized twirly that was good I don't blame him at all and I kind of support him in biting Jack at some point

*horse crashes into treeline*

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

A couple of well placed arrows right now would solve quite a few problems. #monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

See, Jack Palance knows what he's doing. He just turned this into a Western, where he has the advantage. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

LAAAAAND #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon he needs to pronounce more clearly

Yummy scenery. Well chewed, Jack. #Monsterdon

Don’t let the sister parley for you. She hasn’t a clue.

#Monsterdon

day for night

never works

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

That horse just owned Voltan.

#Monsterdon

THIS

is CNNimeanVOLTAN!

#Monsterdon

weird movie adjacent post - i had a recurring hawk the slayer nightmare as a child. i had the sword from the film and the environment was from the film, there was some kind of witch, and i had to cross a bridge and each time i tried a bright ‘magical’ light would stop me, then i’d wake up (and no i hadn’t seen The holy grail at that point). it started shortly after i first saw the film and continued for a few months.

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

Volton will strike Tomorrow Moon!

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

"This! Is Voltan! I Have Words! For You!"

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Jack's no horseman I'm afraid. #Monsterdon

This is Voltan, I have words for you!

Oh for fuck sake.

#Monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer1980

Are we sure AI wasn’t around for script-writing in 19-whenever this movie was made?

#Monsterdon

Is the elf autistic?
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

I AM VOLTAN
DEFENDER OF THE UNIVERSE er wait

#Monsterdon

HOW did I only just notice that Palance's helmet is a Phantom of the Opera x Darth Vader?

#Monsterdon

I HAVE WORDS FOR YOU
#monsterdon

Jack Palance. When you need someone who can yell.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

the face of the LAAAANNNNNNND!
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

You should really just let the elf do everything

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

The Man
The Horse
The Volton

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

That fire is very bon. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

"One man. On a horse."

Oh shit, he's got a theme song, be careful!

#Monsterdon

ok, that's the second guy who, upon being impaled to death with a metal blade, sounds like he's climaxing…😛

#monsterdon

"This is Voltan"

Yes, we know who you are. #Monsterdon

@moira Paging Dr Foley! Paging Dr Foley! #Monsterdon

Moar staring! All the stares!

#monsterdon

My stomach is cramping, I'm laughing so much at this commentary.
Please give me a chance to breathe.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer #HawkTheSlayer1980

takes a real lack of class to bail on the funeral early. and it's his own son!

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

now THIS aught to get the fire marshal's attention!

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Aww, he's holding a bonfire to raise team spirit!

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

That dude was so mad about his son dying that he burned his own army up. #Monsterdon

I really didn't expect to see celery in this flick #monsterdon

@trixter hobbits wrote this

#Monsterdon

One man. On a horse. Wearing a funny hat.

#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

@north Some of them know.

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe well they are all white people

#Monsterdon

@paco He senses danger, Will Robinson.

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza "My son is my property. Nobody gets to kill him but me."

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Voltan isn't much of a people-person.
#monsterdon

When you max out Thrown Weapons #Monsterdon

And...

More eating.

#Monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer1980

The Hawknificent Seven

#Monsterdon

where's the celery, doctor?

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@cocaine_owlbear same

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

Jack Palance yelling at someone to pick it up about a weapon is a gender. #Monsterdon

@randy_s We may never know

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

That's a blunt sword if I've ever seen one.

#Monsterdon

I like that everybody in this movie dies with an expression like they just ate a really hot chicken nugget. #Monsterdon

I. Am. Drogo. Son. of. Voltan. I. Annunciate. Very. Clearly. Now. Die!

#Monsterdon

oooooh, the tension of a bunch of dudes standing there

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Is Jack Palance gonna have to cut a bitch?
Huh he is as good as his brother at dagger throwing.
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Do the writers and directors and actors think these movies are good? Or do they like...know?

#Monsterdon

The Paaal-ance of the Opera is here inside your mind

#Monsterdon

What woman did Voltan give a special hug to, since he has/had a son?

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Why do they even wear armor?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Believe it or not, his son lies dead #monsterdon

@JoeWynne excellent tip

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

Dad is not dealing with the grief well...

#Monsterdon

I wanna go play some Skyrim after this.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

that picnic table is doing a lot of dramatic work over here

Drog oooooooooooOOOOOO!
Rufi oooooooOOOOOOOO!!
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Wait, you can't be pissed he's dead, you were about to kill him yourself. #Monsterdon

Jack...jack, please. just a *little* more emotion? please?

#Monsterdon

your sun lied when he was alive, too

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#monsterdon wait am I watching the wrong one

@athena_rising oh sorry I meant which character could be a Goa'uld

(not important though)

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Let's not Drogo this out...
#monsterdon

@kcarr2015 They didn't want to put the cart before the GORSE! (look it up!) #Monsterdon

My son- dead! Sure, I nearly killed him a few minutes ago, but that was ME! I'm allowed!

#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

Hawk. He helps the nuns.

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

"I wanted to prove myself"

So I walked into an ambush and got my ass kicked, ain't you proud daddy? #Monsterdon

Why are the evil overlord forces roughing it? Why aren't they occupying civilian homes? #Monsterdon

JOKE

JOKEJOKEJOKE

JOKEJOKEJOKE

...is it okay if I do that?

No? Okay.

#Monsterdon

I feel like the cinematographer was inspired by DJs record-scratching when filming the arrow-shooting

#monsterdon

The Outlaw Josey Hawks

#Monsterdon

The elf must be a real hit at parties.
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

"I've got a message for you! A message ... of death!"

Who shall I say is calling w/ this death? #Monsterdon

Bring out your dead!

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

🤖 THE PEACE OF THE DEAD 🤖

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon this bow is the more impressive magical weapon

I will give you a message, a message of death!

You dumbdumbhead!

#Monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer1980