They found so many neat rocks to take pictures of.
#Monsterdon #Beastmaster

All pairs of ferrets are named "Trouble and Mischief", no exceptions. #Monsterdon #TheBeastmaster1982

Save the Ferret beat

#monsterdon#beastmaster

@strangefour@retro.pizza I really thought quicksand was going to be more of a problem for me when I was a kid. #Monsterdon #TheBeastmaster1982

QUICKSAND! This is a prime example of the 80s warning me about Quicksand being everywhere.
#Monsterdon #Beastmaster

once again, movies of the 1980s lying to us about the importance of preparing for quicksand in daily life

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature

I enjoyed Hawk the Slayer more than I expected bc the music slaps and John Terry's distinct voice made it hard to not chuckle.

I told my spouse about the movie and they were like "John Terry? This sounds great!"

#monsterdon

The real stars of the movie.
#Monsterdon #Beastmaster

Cylons!

#monsterdon#beastmaster

So apparently the direction of Hawk the Slayer (1980) produced a film in 1977 titled "Prey" with the synopsis:

A deadly shape-shifting alien infiltrates a country house occupied by two lesbians, and proceeds to study their behaviour, for a sinister purpose.

#monsterdon

@strangefour Ref says I get one of these per hashtag #Monsterdon

#monsterdon okay straight up Christianity plus magic in a (high? Low? Not far enough in yet, maybe 3rd gear) fantasy is a choice. I guess the point was to make a movie showcasing how Jack Palance could totally have been Darth Vader and not to ruffle too many feathers in the D&D moral panic crowd...

I was about to commend more dog acting, but that dog is very much drugged.
#Monsterdon #Beastmaster

...and the final fight was in slow mo. Somebody REALLY wanted to pad this movie's running time. 🤦‍♂️

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Like beefy kevin bacon #monsterdon

Does the dog... yes. 😞
#Monsterdon #Beastmaster

Good boy

#monsterdon#beastmaster

TODO NOOOOO! 😭
#Monsterdon #Beastmaster

Had a little Turkey juice behind his ear. #monsterdon

James Earl Jones is here to kill Conan's whole village and take him prisoner as a boy... wait.
#Monsterdon #Beastmaster

Okay some of the shots in this are pretty.
Even if the general bronze age barbarian aesthetic is kinda too grungy.
#Monsterdon #Beastmaster

Does this village get flooding? Why is Dar's house 12 feet in the air?
#Monsterdon #Beastmaster

the world is not ready for your mootant powers

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature

Grizzly The Prequel!
#Monsterdon #Beastmaster

landshark

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature

that's a bad lesson he's teaching that kid with the glaive

#Monsterdon

He brought lunch!

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature

Its a whole flock of babayagas

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@ramsey @strangefour I guess I see where you're coming from, I just can't consider that a strike against Dimension 20. I mean, what they do *is* very impressive to a viewing audience, and other DMs/play groups shouldn't expect that their own campaigns will be similarly fun to watch unless they operate on that level.

#Monsterdon

Huh. Funny color on that shot. #monsterdon

I got pulled away for work stuff at the end, but I'm sure I can watch the last few minutes once I get home.

So yeah, is that soundtrack available anywhere? I REALLY hope that soundtrack is available.

Goodnight, #monsterdon, thanks to @Taweret for hosting and see y'all next week!

@paco ...he's a pirate... ISN'T HE?! #Monsterdon

@Crazypedia Secret Service were not very good back then! #monsterdon #TheBeastmaster

@Lazarou And when I woke up the pillow was gone! #WrongJoke #monsterdon

Beastmaster also has ferrets. Big plus.

#Monsterdon

xtro did it better, but this is still fun #monsterdon

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@aburka truth

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

And then after that to like just take the chains off and like alright this gig is cooked let's book it time and start new lives #Monsterdon #TheBeastmaster1982

Could? maybe should.
It would make this movie a lot shorter for us? #Monsterdon #TheBeastmaster1982

Wait what? The barbarian Jones? Did I hear that right? I missed the subs.
#Monsterdon #Beastmaster

@whiskeysailor Two woods diverges in the yellow woods and I took the woods? hmmm I'll work on it. #Monsterdon

@jivens @Taweret Make sure it's holy food. So when the grease drips off your chin it can bless little spots on your shirt. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

@diazona so many movies could use a silly string ex machina scene #monsterdon

Beastmaster, The
Why does this look like a DVD menu?
#Monsterdon #Beastmaster

@aburka Witches have the power of green, I think. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

#monsterdon ohhhh I knew I'd seen Sister Monica (Cheryl Campbell) before, she guest starred in several Agatha Christie shows

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
#HawkTheSlayer1980

This film was good to riff on, but without #monsterdonians that would have been a tough watch.
Now we eat dinner.. after seeing it dribble out of every actor's face. Thanks, @Taweret and all #monsterdonians....

Y'all enjoy Beastmaster - it's actually a better movie (and a tip of the hat to Andre Norton).

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@bstacey @emma That tracks! #TriesToHidePreviousPosts #Monsterdon

@moira Looks like I missed some squares.

#Monsterdon

@whiskeysailor given the scale of this five-mile epic I'm thinking it's basically the next county down

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Hey, did we see a single actual real hawk in the movie "hawk"? ...I can't think of one...? #monsterdon

@aburka @apLundell I've done the math, this means there is at least one extra dimension wrapped up tightly? #iWasToldThereDbeNomath?! #Monsterdon

@whiskeysailor Budgets: Same woods. :blobcatgiggle2:
#monsterdon #hawktheslayer

You know I tend to think my writing is bad but then I watch movies like this

#monsterdon

That was awful.

Thanks I had fun. :)

#Monsterdon

And now, "Hey, Beastermaster's On!" (HBO)
#monsterdon #beastmaster

Think of it not as sequel bait but as a movie that could have been twice as long and thankfully wasn't

Thanks as always @Taweret for hosting and everybody for posting! On to the double feature!

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Up next on @miru@social.miyaku.media is The Beastmaster

#Monsterdon #TheBeastmaster1982

Actually I do recall some comic about a guy with superball powers...

#HawkTheSlayer1980
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

And they didn't even bother to credit the horsies or the donkey! Booooo.

Oh well - thank you @Taweret for hosting and @JoeWynne for trivia and also @cherizilla for making the monsterdon Mega Cards available!

Most importantly, thanks to all you #Monsterdonians for making it fun!

spending this week locked in a room writing HAWK BEARER OF THE MINDSWORD screenplay #Monsterdon

Well that was certainly a LOT of plot to squeeze into, what was it, 6.5 hours? No? Just 90 minutes? Whoa!

Thanks for hosting again @Taweret. I wish everyone a very fond OO-EE-OO-EE-OOO until next week.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@Violinknitter Is that French? Preeety sure that's French! #Monsterdon

The "Customers Also Watched" ribbon after this is hilarious.

#Monsterdon

@srol aka Hawk 2ah

#monsterdon

As the credits roll to the dulcet tones of DISCOOO SNAAAAAAAAKE we take our leave of Hawk the Slayer. Thanks as always to @Taweret for hosting. Have a great week Beautiful Mutants! #monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Thank you, @Taweret and everyone for the Mind Sword! #Monsterdon

And so ends another #Monsterdon with the cinema masterpiece, #HawkTheSlayer1980. Our thanks to @Taweret and all those who joined us today, and remember Monsterdoners: The hunchback will have something to say about this!

#monsterdon how dare you set up for a sequel!!!!!!!! Great movie all around

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
#HawkTheSlayer1980

Soundtrack available on Columbia Records and Tapes.

What? No sequel!?! #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Buckaroo Banzai didn't even get a sequel. And that had electric guitars in. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

They couldn't give them real swords, for they could cut themselves.
#monsterdon #hawktheslayer

gingerbread jesus isn't nearly as bland and dry as catholic jesus is all i'm saying

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

No #MonsterdonBingo for me. :-(

#Monsterdon

(DO DE DO DE DO)

#Monsterdon

@xerozohar

After they transition?

#HawkTheSlayer1980
#Monsterdon

Thanks all for another fun #monsterdon  

The credits art looks like artsy diaper shit.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon not a terrible movie but it couldn't have been that hard to vary the set pieces beyond forest and church and too much horse riding and too many hints of backstory with no grounding or explanation

So, a big floating translucent jawa?

#Monsterdon

The adventures continue in Hawk the Slay2r

#monsterdon

The wizard will resurrect Jack Pallance for "City Slickers". #Monsterdon

And so they fucked off into the sequel that never got made.

Thanks @Taweret for hosting!

#Monsterdon

I wonder if the south is a different woods or the same woods?
#monsterdon  

The evil star wars jawa ghost takes away the soul of Darth Vader

#monsterdon

@ranjit @Louisa Yeah, or all his pain is on the inside, or something

#Monsterdon

credits boogie

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Yes they are, because this is the end of a Monsterdon watch thread, Hawk the Slayer.
#monsterdon

@steggy That's not an elf that's a Vulcan?! #Monsterdon #TOSSatNight

And we're given a new quest and sequel bait!

-fin

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

How did something that seemed so promising in theory end up so blah?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

No Hawks at all‽ Wow, talk about false advertisement!
#monsterdon  

BEARER, HAWK, HAWK, REST

thanks @Taweret and @miru and everyone.

HAWK OUT

#Monsterdon

No. No setting up sequels. You stop that right now. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

No. No. No. We do not want you to meet again.

#Monsterdon

oh it was Roy Kinnear!

#Monsterdon

Redrum!

#Monsterdon